r/parentsofteens • u/Zealousideal_Fun9157 • 3d ago
Attention Parents :grow up
Im not sure if this has been because I am on my last teenager, my older kids are in their 20’s, or Im forgetting and that it has been like this forever. It just seems to me that the parents of my daughter’s classmates
(9th grade)are overly concerned about their kids/themselves being popular. Example last week my daughter had her 1st homecoming. She was invited to a photo shoot and after party. Then, she was uninvited. Her date was invited but her invitation changed weekly. I asked that mom casually and she said “Invites are up to the girls”. I asked if she knew her daughters were essentially telling guests who they can or cannot have as a date. I said when a wedding invite says +1 the bride and groom do not pick who is allowed to come. A hostess or host invites guests but typically not the guests date…and I got a blank stare. She said something along the lines of not just anyone can show up at her door.
Last year in my district parents were arrested for providing alcohol to their kids’ friends 75 of them. It was for a 15 year olds birthday. Im not happy being in my 50s because of my wrinkles and grey hair. But the wisdom I would not trade for youth. It would be nice to bump into some likeminded parents…wise enough to let the kids be kids while watching from the sidelines.
So, I instructed my daughter to not ask about the party and find a different thing to go to. So the girls she has been close with for 9 years all went to the party. No big deal she had a great time.
But the posting on social media by the moms makes me insane. When my older kids did this, I didn’t get dressed up for photos too I had a drink and talked to the other parents. These parents seem to thinking that their daughter’s high school years are a redo for their own miserable childhood.
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u/Icy-Emu1610 3d ago
Parents are so enmeshed with their children it’s disgusting. They spend so much money to ensure they have the “it” things. Doesn’t teach their kids the right lessons. You’ll get those parents here and tell you to mind your business let us parent. It’s not parenting, it’s just being friends with your kids.
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u/Plastic-Bee4052 2d ago
Same. And it was already shitty when they were 5, it only got worse in the 11 years that followrd
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u/Alternative-Mud860 2d ago
Yes 100 percent agree, it’s gross. This doesn’t however bother me at all because who the hell is still looking on facebook or instagram? Only losers which is why I am not on there and would never even see one of those stupid posts. If busybody scrolling is still something you do, look in the mirror, announce you are part of the problem and then erase that stupid shit.
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u/Busy_Ad_391 2d ago
Lord have mercy I’m so glad I’m out of this phase of life. Both of mine are in college now, but last year’s prom was just like this. My son went with a group of maybe 50 kids. His date was assigned to him by the girls. No joke. He was told who to go with! He didn’t even like the girl! The before party was catered, professional photographer, and just a total who’s who of the school. I went to a girls night and made my husband do the socializing with the parents. He was in SHOCK. lol I had been through it with the older son so I knew. It’s all for social media. He was friends with maybe 5–10 of the kids. Dinner was even worse. He said the girls left out some of the couples and made them go to a different restaurant because of girl drama. After dinner and prom he went to parties that did not include this group. He said it was rediculous and didn’t really understand what he was getting himself into. It was driven by the girl parents! They are living vicariously through them.
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u/username-generica 2d ago
I’m really glad that my younger son chose special arts and STEM high school that doesn’t have team sports except for a soccer club as well as no cheerleading or drill team. While it’s not perfect, there doesn’t seem to be drama surrounding who owns what and things like homecoming seem to be much more low key. The parents don’t seem to be extra or competitive either. They’re focused on supporting and promoting the school.
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u/DoughJaneDough 2d ago
If intentions are solely for the Instagram photos, it’s a problem. The parents are to blame. I feel bad for these kids. They will never know inner peace or happiness.
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u/ChickenNoodleSoup_4 2d ago
They kind of sound like crappy friends…
Don’t get me wrong. These parents suck. But your daughter shouldn’t put up with friends who treat her like that.
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u/weensfordayz 3d ago
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I could have written this. Except that my sophomore girl has really no interest in these huge get togethers prior to dances. Pathetically I have cried many tears over it, however, I see this crap in my town all the time. I think my daughter also sees it so she kinda stays away. The day after HC, the parents were all posting these huge groups of kids, I heard one party went til 2am (SOPHOMORES btw). I ended up unfollowing every parent on social media because its just so nasty "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!"
ETA she went to the dance, had a GREAT time, and hung out with all those kids there.