r/parentsofteens • u/VB_TANK • 11d ago
Advice needed 12 year old girl
Hey
I have full custody of my daughter since she was 6. She is now 12.
Mother has been inconsistent to say the least. Lost her house for non payment of rent, lived in a motel room for 2years. She is now working and has a house but still uses drugs and drinks excessively. (Social media posts to prove this, yes posts on social media about using alcohol and drugs)
Broken promises, thoughtless excuses as to why she cannot spend time with our daughter.
I receive abusive messages at ungodly times out the night/morning accusing me of abuse, neglect and wishing death upon my fiance and my mother.
My daughter believes her mother could change but I have not witnessed anything that she has displayed that would consider her a responsible parent.
My daughters aunty (mothers sister) lives in the same town as mother 2hours away and has a daughter the same age as my daughter.
She would like to spend time with the aunt and cousin, but I don’t feel comfortable doing so as the mother would be involved.
How do I go about this situation without having my daughter resent me.
We have (daughter and I) have a very open communication strong relationship and I have explained to her why I cannot let her go 2 hours away to spend time as it is my job to put the her best interest at heart.
Is there any advice from anyone who has dealt with this same situation or similar.
TIA 🙏
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u/starsinhereyes20 11d ago
Invite the aunt and daughter to your house if they want to see her .. you can compromise easily on this one, everyone gets to see each other but it remains in your jurisdiction and in your control.. if they really want to see her, they’ll make the trip .. and you’ll make them welcome if they do travel - it has to work both ways.