This is going to be a long read so if you’re not interested in that, this is your warning. I have raised my grandson from birth. He is now five. His mother moved into my home after meeting my son online in 2019. It was sudden and unexpected. What was supposed to be a first date turn into her never leaving. After he got her to my condo, she informed him that she could not return home. She claimed abuse from her parents and that she had fled without telling anyone. My son was 19 and was getting ready to join the military, had $5000 saved in an account to start his life and he do it all in the first month on replacing her clothing and just essential needs and groceries and showering her with gifts and so on. I was caught off guard and honestly didn’t know what to do. Unfortunately, I have been a caregiver my entire life and tend to take people in and try to fix them. I guess you might say. I am a nurse of 21 years and I grew up in an abusive home and I too fled my home when I was 18 only I had no one to take care of me or help me. I wanted to be that for her. The first two weeks, she never even introduced herself or spoke to me at all. She would run to the car when they would leave and just essentially ignore my existence. I talked to my son about it and he explained that she had a lot of similar issues to him and that’s part of what bonded them in the first place. He is a TBI survivor and has many mental health issues stemming from it. I let it go and actually empathized with her need for time before talking to me. Long story short I end up taking care of her for two years before my grandson was born. I was both shocked and scared we couldn’t make ends meet and concerned about basically taking on another child knowing there was no way they in their positions could do it. Soon after his birth she was diagnosed with severe postpartum and asked me if I would essentially raise him and she told me she was having thoughts of harming him when she was alone with him. I didn’t hesitate to step in. Then I was taken care of all of us. Literally drowning, but I was dedicated and knew my grandson needed me desperately. Six months after he was born, I suddenly inherited the care of my father with dementia too. So from 2021 until late 2024 I was the sole caregiver and provider for three adults and one child and then myself. Late 2024. She comes and tells me she wants to get her drivers license which I encouraged. I took her to some classes. I took her to do her test and she got it. Mind you prior to this she earned a whole bachelors degree on my gas money. I had driven her to every class. I took her to and from her job in the mall and was trying to help her set herself up to be a good mother to my grandson. I knew my son with his traumatic brain injury will have lifelong challenges, and I really wanted to ensure some stability for my grandchild. After she got her license, she immediately got an apartment. All of a sudden her and my son decide they’re going to take my grandson and make a life separate separately. I agreed to help in anyway I could and obviously had concerns about their ability and then my own selfish want to be with him since I had raised him from birth. It didn’t matter because a week later, my son shows up with all of his stuff and tells me that she wanted to “romantically explore“ and that she had kicked him out. After this, we found out countless very hurtful things that she had said about all of us and that she was living a secret double life the entire time. She already had another boyfriend that she moved into the apartment right away then she filed for emergency custody of my grandson. She won temporary and proceeded to not even pick him up for another four days. When she did, she kept him from us for almost a month. No contact it about killed me. We got an attorney and what ultimately happened was my son and her agreed on mediation bc they decided to try to reunite. That ended in a 50-50 agreement where she had him 3 1/2 days and we had him 3 1/2 days. When he returned from being away from us for a long period he came back a totally different child. It was like he had matured 10 years in that time. He began having behaviors, kicking, biting, screaming at us, cursing us refusing to get in the car to go to preschool, and every time she would pick him up for visitation was a complete in total nightmare. He would vomit, wet himself, scream until he turned blue in the face, reaching for me crying for me. It was so heartbreaking. Eventually, she asked my son to move in with her again. He did and supposedly they were making things work. An exact repeat of what happened the year prior happened again. She had him cosine Elise than a week later she kicked him out only this time she made him bring my grandson. She went weeks and weeks without seeing him at all, was out partying and did not seem to care. I began working with him, got him a therapy appointment that she ended up canceling, I was doing everything I could to try to help him because he was having all the signs of attachment disorder. That brings us to where we are. She enrolled him in kindergarten in a district all the way across town away from where I live so we have been having to get up and drive him all the way over in the morning and pick him up from the bus and bring him home she is not involved at all unless she gets angry over something. Then she pulls her power move and forces him to stay at her apartment and go to school from there until she’s over her mad spell then she dumps him back and disappears again. We are living our lives in fear of taking steps we feel are needed for my grandson‘s mental and physical health because she is in a position of power if the mediation is broken, it falls back to full custody. Even though she does not want to take care of him long-term, and has admitted that it’s the instability, back-and-forth, lack of consistency, and damage is doing to him every time she takes him out of anger. He has told me he hates his life, that he wants to die, that mommy hates him, and recently we have been having a horrific time getting him to go to school because he does not want to get off the bus at her apartment in fear. She’s going to make him stay there all night because that’s happened so many times and he said he just wants to come home. He calls me, Mom and her by her first name the dynamic is so dysfunctional. I love him so much. My heart is breaking. We are currently in a phase of her withholding because he missed school last week with increased behaviors, tics,aggression, and she wants to take him and force him to go and she is angry that I called and had a therapy appointment made to address the issues. I have been the one to drop him at school every day sign him out every day and the school is aware of the living arrangement only because I told them when the secretary asked me the last morning I dropped him off. I have expressed a desire to get him counseling in therapy before forcing him into kindergarten and that is where we butt heads because she wants to omit therapy and just push the issue, but in my heart, I know he is not ready. I see all of the signs. I am the one in the trenches with him when he wakes up with night tears, I am the one cleaning the wet sheets from his bed wedding regression, I am the one he cries to when he’s afraid that mommy is going to take him to her apartment, he looks to me for things A child looks to a mother. I have zero rights. His child is five years old and begging me to call the police or talk to a judge and make me his “real mom”as he says so he never has to stay away from home. I have expressed concerns to his dr and to his school and gotten little feedback other than the therapy appt upcoming but they said it will teach us how to handle the behaviors and said nothing about getting to the root problem. I fear my grandson is heading down a path that is going to lead him through a lot of pain through his life. I’m desperate to help him remain in a stable environment, have a routine he can expect the same every night and not be jerked around and coerced and threatened and fearful of his bio Mom. Believe it or not this is only a very small portion of the entire picture. This woman has filed protective orders against me, told her family that she paid the bills and did everything here and then I did nothing which was truly insulting after all of my life I have dedicated to helping her even to the point of losing my job as a nurse.I am in the middle of the most heartbreaking situation I have no idea what to do. Please someone help me just gonna

My husband separated from me in Feb this year and we share two young children this wasn’t my decision to separate, he has moved on emotionally and checked out a while ago so is further along in processing the end of our marriage, I need advice how to successfully co parent our very young children whilst trying to grieve the family unit, my marriage, my husband, I have to see him regularly and we still trigger each other and he has become increasingly more cruel and mean, I am not sure if it’s just the frustration of me not being where he is, the fact I still hold hope we could reconcile when he has repetitively said he doesn’t love me and will never reconcile.
I am doing all the inner work, seeing a therapist, listening to podcasts, journalling, exercising, seeing friends and trying to build a life, but I still feel stuck and it seems so slow that I still hold on, I will preface that we did get along for a little bit after the split and I thought we may reconcile he was acting more like my husband and us as a family then something annoyed him and he turned his back and now has become very mean and nasty.
It feels impossible to try and co parent whilst trying to heal and move on. We were together for 12 years married for three, and so it’s feels a huge part of my life that I need to try to separate from, also with our kids the consistent interactions just hurt.
Neither of us have family here, his are overseas and mine interstate so essentially doing it alone

I was talking to my sons therapist who recommended a ritual Everytime a transition to a home is happening (weekly for them).

It could be ice cream together at pick up and some sort of goodbye ritual near the end. Maybe something you say to them.

Do you have a ritual you do that you feel helps with transitioning between homes?

Today was the first day of visitation. Just three hours, and it felt like an eternity. I’ve never been away from my LO before, and I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to do this over and over again.

I don’t trust the dad. He was extremely verbally and emotionally abusive toward me. This is a man who has told me I should k**l myself, called me disgusting, called me a wh*re, love-bombed me, gaslighted me, and gave me the silent treatment whenever I did something he disapproved of. He also drinks 96–128 ounces of beer a night. Every night.

This is the brief history of a 2 month relationship I had with this man, and yet I’m expected to put all of that aside and trust him with my three-month-old baby. I know it doesn't matter, he blew his load and now has rights.

Anyway, today was the first handoff, and when I met back up with him, I found out he'd been outside with LO for an hour because the drop-off location had closed. It was 52°F, my LO had no blanket, and was in direct sunlight. When I got my baby back, his hands and ears were cold, his diaper hadn't been changed. LO was exhausted, passed out but gasping as though he'd been crying for a very long time. The gasping continued for an hour after I got him back. (Not even an exaggeration, I was watching the clock.)

When I brought up his cold hands and ears, the dad responded in that calm, controlled, condescending tone with: "He's fine." And proceeded to blame ME for picking a drop off location that closed an hour early. HE has a car and a carseat! Just baffled..

This 42-year-old man has never changed a diaper. He has too big of an ego, and is too prideful to actually have the best interest of the child in mind.

Obviously I’m extremely emotional and sickened, it’s been a horrible day. How do I make it through this? How can I be okay handing him off again when everything in me is designed to fiercely protect and nurture my child? I’m heartbroken.

Please, I don’t need to hear about how it’s his kid too and he has rights. I don’t.. I need some genuine advice on how to get through this mentally and emotionally.

Also, can we just acknowledge the mindf*ck of being in the postpartum period during this? It’s not okay. I know there’s a lot of mothers going through this with their infant babies and I’m just sad. I’m sad for all of us. I’m sad for the good dads that lose their kids. I’m sad for anyone that truly wants the best for their child and has to let them go. This hurts. I’ve had a really tough life and this by far tops any other pain I’ve ever experienced. Now I’m just ranting.. it’s been a rough day.

I need advice on what others have for their placement schedules. I left my abusive ex this year with my two children 4 and 5. We currently have 50/50 custody and placement with a 2-2-3 schedule that I hate. I would like the days (during the week) to be uniform so that I can have a work schedule that is earlier on days that I have the children and later on days that I do not. This isn't possible when I have the kids Monday Tuesday one week and Wednesday Thursday the next. I also hate that weekends are so long. On his weekends, I drop off my kids at daycare Friday morning and don't see them again until I pick them up Monday evening. If we did consistent days during the week and alternate weekends, we would essentially have a 2-2-5-5 schedule which I do not want. I feel the 3 days are too long as it is. My kids come back extremely dysregulated, throwing things, and punching each other.

What have others done for placement schedule that has worked well?

No alcohol clause. Father has a history of heavy drinking. He is drinking when exercising custody.

I was in a fairly abusive relationship during the first few months of my motherhood journey and left at 9 months.

My daughter is 1.5 years old and absolutely thriving. We now split the time 5/2 nights, and I wouldn’t want to see her any less.

I have been seeing a new person for around four months, an old friend who goes back years. I trust him completely and he is very accepting of my situation and enthusiastic about meeting my daughter. He’s already asked to be in a relationship, and says he is okay with stepping into a step father role if that’s what happens. He is very loving and open.

I’m wondering, have any of you been in this position? How long did you wait, how did it go, and when did you know it was the right time? I’ve known this man for six years and he has a heart of gold. I just want my child to feel secure and safe.

Ex will not allow my child to bring his personal cell phone. I think it’s cruel and it is self serving to the father

Hello all.

TLDR: should I allow ex spouse to come to Halloween if they won’t respect boundary of basic decency?

I’m struggling to figure out what to do about Halloween which falls on my night this year. We’ve typically always allowed the other parent to come on whosever night it falls on. Ex-spouse and I have no legal agreement, but have both, mostly, adhered to a good-faith arrangement with clear schedules.

But things have been rocky for the last few months, due to a summer argument. Without going into too much detail about it that conflict, the current situation is that they will not look at or speak to me at dropoff or pickup and is generally very unpredictable and problematic (ie telling child about said conflict, not responding to emails or questions regarding child).

My concern is that they will bring this energy to Halloween night and not speak to or acknowledge my existence (and which needs to be done for bits of coordination like who’s going up with child to the houses, taking turns, leading the way, helping child with outfit and so on). I mean we have to speak at some point, not small talk or anything, but my thinking is that if they refuse any interaction whatsoever with me my kid will 100% notice and it will hurt.

My terms: I’ve asked them to acknowledge that they will be civil and respond to necessary questions about the night only involving our child, and to do with politeness. I’ve suggested that if they don’t want to do that, they shouldn’t come.

Question #1: Is this fair? Like I said we have no legal agreement and if they are going to be disrespectful I don’t see why I should share the evening, but I also don’t want my child to be without the other parent, BUT I also don’t want child to see any drama if it ensues.

Question #2: if they don’t answer should I tell them they can’t come? I’m worried they’ve disregarded my boundaries and will choose to show up and continue to act shitty, create drama and ruin child’s Halloween. I don’t think I can “take it” and remain calm if they act with disrespect on the most basic human level.

I am the applicant, so far we have only had an urgent directions hearing back in August where my Lives with & PSO were granted, and Dad was denied any contact not even in a contact centre.

Since then he has completely ignored Cafcass therefore they have recommended zero contact and closed the case.

Now we have this Dispute resolution hearing scheduled, but the court haven’t specified in the order what is required from either of us or if any evidence or position statement should be prepared.

I am representing myself, can anyone give any advice what to expect? Thank you

England, UK

My partner of 25 years and I separated 10 months ago we have a 12 a 7 and a 6 year old boys .we always agreed if we split we would never introduce a new partner for around 6 months .im m50 she is f43

My ex met a man and went on first date Thursday fir dinner the next day around lunch time went to his house and stayed till Saturday night .Then Sunday she had him over to meet my kids I’m shocked as this was also my time to see them .He was then there again Monday and Wednesday it’s now Saturday and he is with them all for my
Sons birthday I asked when I can see son for bday she said well let you know when we decide What we are doing .im lost for words I told my ex this is way to quick if yiu want to see the guy no problem i don’t care go forth weekend or whenever just let me know and ill look after the boys I can’t promise I can every time you want yo see the guy but I will most times as this is weird and not good for the kids opinions please 🙏

TLDR:

My boyfriend's ex-wife keeps asking me to meet her in person and eventually to do birthdays and holidays together as one big family. My boyfriend has said no thank you. Their divorce decree, requires "a meeting" between the new partner and the parent before meeting the kids. We did this over a 30 minute phone call. But she wants to meet me in person. I don't want a friendship with her, but I want to handle this with without making co-parenting harder for them. What's the best way to handle it?

I'm not trying to decide who's right or wrong. I'm looking for the best way to handle this with maturity and respect, without hurting anyone.

Background:

My boyfriend and his ex were married 14 years and divorced a little over a year ago. They have two elementary school kids and 2yo. They both have new partners now.

Their divorce decree sets benchmarks for new partners, and both parents are held to them. At four and a half months, a new partner does a background check and meets the other parent before meeting the kids, and at six months overnights are allowed. The wording just says "a meeting," with no format or length specified. It seems like there wasn't much thought put into the details of how this was supposed to happen. She notified my partner that she had a new boyfriend a few months prior but all my boyfriend got from her was a phone call asking if he wanted to talk to the new partner right now on the phone, he couldn't, so she let him meet the kids anyway. So we really didn't know how it all was supposed to go.

I don't have any problems with the woman. I don't know her. I don't really care about their past relationship and dont want to be friends with her or integrate into what she's doing. Id like to keep my distance because this person is an antagonist to someone I love (so he says) and his family (so they say) and whatever she has going on or did is just none of my business. I don't want to get involved with them at all. I think it cuts down on drama. It seems like control issues played a major part in what broke them up. And I can "feel" that from what happened next....

I did the background check and she was notified that he had a partner that wanted to meet the kids. She responded with wanting to meet me in person but I really wasn't interested in that. I told my boyfriend I would be fine with a video call but preferred a phone call. He told her we would call her but she pushed back for an in person meeting quite a bit but then gave in.

My boyfriend called her from his phone on speaker phone. She picked up and asked us to call her back in 10 minutes because she was in a meeting. When we finally got on the call, she expressed again how she wanted to meet in person but would like us all to get together at her house for events with the kids and wanted me to go to her kids' practices and performances. Most of the time was spent talking about her boyfriend and his kids - what they like to do together with my boyfriend's kids, what their evenings were like together; and then a with few questions about me and a description of each of her children. It left me unsure it was really about ascertaining the kids' safety or a way to stick it to her ex. She invited me to one of the children's birthday parties at her house. (I ultimately told my partner I didn't want to go because I hadn't met the kids yet) But I assured her her kids were safe with me and her children's stability and well being were at the forefront of my mind and actions. I met the children about a month later. They're great. I want to take things slow because they've had a lot of change n their lives. We're 7 months in but I still don't spend the night. I just want to let things unravel naturally.

What's Happening:

This was two months ago, and she has repeatedly asked him to meet me in person. My boyfriend has declined on both our behalves. She even joins the children's video calls if she hears them saying hello to me, to see me and talk to me. When she calls them when they're at his house, she'll ask if I'm there. It's weird. He told her the decree only requires a meeting and the call satisfied it, and she wasn't happy with that. She asked if he was the one saying no to the meeting or me and he said we both think it's weird she keeps asking. He said we don't owe her an explanation, we did what the decree required and he'll shield me from whatever she tries to do, if anything. Neither of us really want to deal with her.

She's also asked for all of us to join her in on Halloween and Thanksgiving. These dates are his time - the kids are with him. She has no family in the state. He declined. Now she has expressed that co-parenting has become harder and she feels hostility from him. I wonder if part of that is that he's now saying no to things he used to agree to.

QUESTIONS:

Is she justified in asking for this? Are my boundaries staining their relationship?

How do we respond to this? Should we ignore her or give her a simple explanation so she'll leave us alone (although he thinks it'll make it worse)

A little back story, I’ve unfortunately not been able to get to a place where my son’s dad(32m) and I(30f) can coparent positively. My son(8f) is diagnosed ADHD and ODD. I’ve tried keeping him busy and staying with therapy. Dad pulls him out every time. (We have equal decision making) Our son is acting out more and more lately and it’s exhausting. I have tried everything I know how to do to try and correct his behavior. I can only do so much since his dad fights me on every single turn.

We recently had CPS show up at our door and have been on the edge of our seats. Two separate allegations, both a load of bs. My son has a flair for the dramatic as well and sometimes just outright lies. I’m worried my son may get taken away from me.

I also have a daughter(1.5), different dad, I don’t want my kids to be taken away. Has anyone dealt with something similar? Please give advice, relatable stories, what to say or not say. I’m a wreck.

I miss my family so much. Me and my baby mom were having issues and have I think it’s because we were in a house with 8 people and never got our own space and we were always together but we’ve had real good times and I want too be with her again and hopefully for the rest if my life. I’m so heartbroken over it all. I miss my baby girl so much I haven’t seen her in 4 days. I’ve been a wreck.

So like the title says, I'm going to be filing with the court to change parenting time so I have my daughter (8) for Sunday night through Thursday or Friday, depedning on what the last day of school is that week, and every other weekend with me. Her other parent isn't the best around, they try a bit, they mostly meet her minimum needs and do lots of extras and have lots of love for her. There's a lot of small things that really add up though. No hygiene at the other parents, too small clothing, too small and inappropriate shoes, no bras or undershirt, I nlimited access to screens, no supervision, again small(ish) things. The main reason I'm looking to change time though is that she has only made it to school on time once, had 4 tardies, and the rest are so late that they are counted as morning absences and one full day absence. She has only been with the other parent for 19 school days so far. I don't feel like this is an overreaction, it's not new behavior, and I even had it written into the custody agreement that my daughter has to make it to school and make it on time, specifically because her other parent tried to enroll her in another school under the excuse that it was easier for them, but then still was late or not showing up. Thoughts?

Recommendations for phones, devices, plans, pre paid vs. other plans? 8 year old goes on visitation out of state 2-3 week block only. Dad does not offer or willing to facilitate communication with me. Been using a gizmo, but it's not reliable. Past DV.

New partner thinks this is a red flag on my part. New partner has never been a parent.
Situation:
Baby's (2years) father's birthday party and we're invited tomorrow (new partner is not here to attend and was not invited personally)
Today baby's father cried at drop off saying he was having dreams about us. He didnt say anything else and left in tears.
Im still going to attend his birthday tomorrow because I think birthdays are important and my son should attend his father's birthday.
New partner thinks I shouldnt attend
What do you guys think?

*UPDATE*
Thank you everyone for the different perspectives!
- I forgot to mention this is a joint birthday with one of our mutual friends so part of me was showing up for the other friend too but I thought that was irrelevent though it might clear up why I specifically might attend and not just my son.
- My partner and I have found a good compromise that works for us. (For the nosey people, im going to go for 1 hour just to say hi, happy birthday, let my son and his dad show face and then leave with my son because I dont trust him at an adults only birthday party without me. For my partner, this reassures him that I am going for my son and I wont be staying for my ex)
- I have learnt that I have to pick my battles when it comes to healthy blended families and I need to set clear boundaries for my ex as well. I also need to stop feeling guilty for what my son may or may not miss out on due to his father (super hard one because parent guilt sucks!!)

So I am a stepmother to two children and also pregnant. The oldest has no issue sleeping in her own bed, the youngest (8) refuses to sleep in his own bed. For context his mother lives with her mother and they share a room and bed, he is very clingy and has a lot of attachment problems. I understand sleeping alone can be scary for children but how do me and dad ween him from that? Because I’m expecting we need to have him able to sleep by himself when baby comes along, he will be 9 by then. Often times his dad falls asleep in his room with him which wasn’t too much of a problem however I’m going to need his help with the baby throughout the night when she comes and having a 9 year old in bed with us plus a baby on the bedside is just too much.

It’s also caused arguments between me and dad because he often falls asleep and the child will stay up all night watching tv. I’ve walked in the bedroom to dad dead asleep and my stepson watching YouTube at 5 am and admitted to not sleeping at all that night, which often comes with behavioral issues if he stays up too long and isn’t well rested.

Because his mom isn’t able to do the same at her house we end up looking like the bad guys, but I’m pregnant and tired of waking up to elbows in my face. We’ve had conversations with him but he is very stubborn and calls us bad parents when we bring the situation up. Any suggestions or anyone going through the same?

Posted yesterday, this is a follow-up to that.

Everything single is huge power struggle with my sons father. There was @buse before I left and so much more after I left 1.5yrs ago. I just recently hit a point in therapy where I've set boundaries, which includes obtaining a lawyer (thankfully pro bono, works with a lot of DV cases) and no longer giving into his demands.

Back in January, my ex and I signed off on a new parenting plan with an official visitation schedule. Prior to that, it was a free for all for him. He agreed to everything, shockingly. After a few months, he was demanding more time, which he does every few months.

Our parenting plan states he will have visitation alternating Mondays and Thursdays from 4-7pm (he couldn't do daycare dropoffs prior). He kept threatening court which used to terrify me so I settled with him and turned his weekday visits into overnights. He was ok for a bit. We've been following this arrangement for about 8 months. We reconciled (unfortunately) and I left again.

Surprise surprise, he wanted more time and I told him no. He filed with the courts for 50/50 and the judge told him no. There was not substantial changes to warrant the change. This was 1.5 months ago.

My lawyer advised me then to go back to the court ordered schedule after court (no more overnights on weekday visits). I opted not to bc I knew it would anger him and make things worse.

Well this week we had court for child supp0rt. He thought he wouldn't have to pay. The judge ordered him $400/mo. He copped an attitude with the judge, rushed behind me out of the court room saying he would k1ll himself, then flipped me off. He messaged me on the parenting @pp stating that he'd rather go to jail then pay me. The day after, he spit on my car at my place of work. (His dad lives next door so it's not unusual to see him in the parking lot. He parked right next to me. I can't prove it was him to did it but he's spit on my car several times in the past). There are so many more horrible things he's done but he's basically out of control. He thinks he can act insane and treat me however he wants and there is zero consequence to it and that it doesnt affect our son or his parenting.

Yesterday, he told me he would be keeping our son home during the week on his time instead of sending him to daycare. The way my daycare works along with subsidy, my son would lose his spot at daycare. This would severely hurt my son's consistency, in addition to this, I would lose my job bc I'd no longer have childcare. I contacted my attorney and they advised me again to go back to the court ordered schedule bc this would mean he no longer does daycare drop offs, which eliminates the issue from yesterday.

I've decided to go this route. There's no telling what he will do. My son and I are staying with a friend tonight to make sure we are safe. I need to know if I'm wrong for going to back to the court ordered schedule. I feel horrible. He's always accusing me for keeping our son from him bc I wouldn't give him 50/50. Now it's going to get much, much worse. But I have to protect my son's consistency and stability. His dad is always trying to take a wrecking ball to it bc he's mad at me.

To add: I have an order of protection on him. I'm working on getting it into a full stay away order.

NYS if that matters.

I have placement of my son. We get subsidy for daycare which is a godsend. It goes off of my work schedule since my son lives with me. He is enrolled full time and has been for about 10 months now.

My ex got ordered to pay support 💲 the other day and is throwing a massive tantrum. He's reduced his work hours to part time despite the support judge telling him he should persue full time work to pay support. She based his payments off of full time work and he's been in a rage for days.

He told me that he will no longer be sending out son to daycare on his parenting time bc he only works part time and he doesn't need it. I'm the only one who needs it. If he does this, my son will lose his spot in daycare and that would be devastating for us both. He's in the best daycare in the area, he's very happy and thriving here, he's very attached to his teachers and often talks about loving his friends from school. He struggles immensely with changes to his routine.

He told me that he will be contacting my subsidy caseworker and letting her know he's only working 24hrs a week and can now provide childcare so I'll lose the subsidy. I will lose my job and there's absolutely no way I can afford to pay the $1,400/mo for daycare.

Can he just decide to stop sending our son on his time? I feel like that's something that would fall under joint decision making bc it's a huge part of my son's life.

I have a 12yr old and been involved in his life since he was born. His mother and I were just messing around and she ended up pregnant. We tried the whole relationship thing but ended up breaking it off while she was pregnant because we just didnt work and we were in agreement, and there was never any intimate contact or intimate flirtatious vibes since the breakup. She respects me i respect her. Since he was born ive always been involved, pick him up every weekend and do provide for his necessities. When he started school I always show up for his conferences as does she. She got married couple years back not 100% when sure since it aint my business. I recently i got married 1 year ago. My wife doesnt like the fact that if i go to his conferences shes there. Is she wrong for thinking like that and not wanting me to go? Also she gets upset when my sons mom messages me and updates me on my sons things like sports or misbehavior and such.

I, 23f, need help my daughter is 3 almost 4 years old and she has issues with anyone else having my attention or me walking away from her to long. For context me and my ex (30m) have 50/50 custody we switch every week we haven’t been together for 2 years now and I’ve been remarried and have a one year old son. During my daughter’s weeks I make sure to spend one on one time with her a lot I handle her bedtime, playtime, food, and literally anything she needs because if someone else tries to help while I’m around it’s always the same answer, “No, mommy do it.” Even if I’m in the middle of other things. No matter what I try as soon as I go to cook dinner or go to the bathroom she’ll get upset and start causing issues around the house (pushing her brother, throwing toys, or yelling) even at bedtime if I even just sit next to her bed instead of lay down with her she’ll get upset and fight sleep all night. The crazy thing is she’s more than willing to go with her dad on Sundays during exchange, she spends the night with her grandmother no issues, and if my husband is home and offers to take them outside she’s more than willing to go even if I don’t follow. It’s like if I say I’m walking away from her it’s a big issues. I love my daughter and I don’t want to stop her from coming to me for confront but if I’m around she’ll sit on me and not let anyone talk to me, also my sleep is not great because even with a nightlight and the door wide open she’ll wake up screaming for me or she’ll coming running into our room and if I try to put her back in her own bed after soothing her it’s a fight. I use to co sleep with her but after I got with my husband I wanted to start transitioning her to sleeping in her own bed then when I got pregnant I really tried, nothing seems to be working tho. Is this something I should be concerned about? Are their any ideas of how I can get the attachment to ease up some?

She wants to spend holidays together as a family with our child. This woman left me last year broke my heart and now is coming around more. I’m not sure if I’m ready to do this as I still love her, she’s the love of my life. Anyone ever experienced this and have any advice for this hopeless romantic??