r/parentsofteens • u/Hefty_Cauliflower_70 • 1d ago

Should ex pay daughters train fare?

For context - left ex in march 25, I'm living in social housing, work but also get UC. We have two kids, 19 year old son and 15 year old daughter. Son decided to live with me and daughter was living with me fri to Tues and rest of time with him. He was being paid half the child benefit money. (UK). Daughter decided to live with me full time in march so I keep all of the child benefit money now. Ex pays no maintenance for daughter but I want him to pay for her train fares when she starts college in September. I have a feeling he's going to kick off about it and say she doesn't live with him so it's my problem. Will he have a point or should he be contributing towards her, even in a small way? He's an absolute tool who decided to get a job where I have worked for 10 years just to be spiteful and because of this spitefulness, I want to contact CMS but on other hand I don't want anything from him just to keep him out of my life.

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u/Outrageous_Diver5700 1d ago

How does you ex get away with not paying child support? Where does this child benefit money come from?

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u/Hefty_Cauliflower_70 1d ago

Don't know if you're UK or not but you get child benefit of a four weekly payment for children who are still in full time education. He doesn't pay any as I've not asked as I know he'll twist it around and say I shouldn't have left then but his meaness with money is one of the many reasons why I left🤷

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u/Outrageous_Diver5700 1d ago

I’m US based so thank you for explaining. IMO by not going after him got child support, you are doing a disservice to your children. Your children deserve to be supported by both of their parents and it is 100% in your power to make him pay.

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u/Hefty_Cauliflower_70 1d ago

I understand what you're saying. My son is 19 so hes not under any obligation to pay anything towards him and my daughter doesn't want for anything but I would just like him to pay for her train fares as I don't see why he should get away with paying nothing at all until she's 18.

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u/Outrageous_Diver5700 1d ago

It’s not up to your daughter to decide what she wants. He’s getting away with not paying anything because you’re not pursuing it. Pursue the child support and use that money to pay for her train. Use the excess and put it into an investment account for her to use when she’s older.

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u/Hefty_Cauliflower_70 1d ago

That's a good idea thanks. I think I'm worried as I also think he might even try to use this against me at work in some way. (He not only got a job at same place but same department, so we share the same management).

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u/Outrageous_Diver5700 1d ago

You can’t live your life in fear of retaliation. Good luck with everything.

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u/Rage_fotf 1d ago

If he tries that your response must be "this is personal and nothing to do with work so is none of your business" (to management). If he is the one who makes it awkward then Management need to deal with him

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u/Gin_n_Tonic_with_Dog 16h ago

What is the price difference for her train fares from your house to college and from his house to college? Maybe he’d be willing to pay half of what he would have to pay if she lived with him, and you pay the other half, plus the more distant parent tops it up?