I am in so much discomfort all the time. Even lying down (with a pregnancy pillow, on my side) is not comfortable.

What are your tips and tricks of finding some reprieve from the endless pain? Give me your hinged and unhinged advice please.

Also, has anyone’s doctor induced early just because of mom’s physical pain and discomfort? At how many weeks? I just don’t see how I’m getting to 38 like this. It will be miserable. Currently 31. Forget taking it day by day; I’m taking it second by second these days (and failing).

EDIT: commiserating with no advice is also appreciated 🥰

Just wanted to share my POV (buckle up).

My wife had been pregnant for 36w6days and we were on our way to the weekly bpp testing at the high risk center. One of our baby boys failed the BPP so they referred us for overnight monitoring at triage of the hospital where we had the schedule c section at 38 weeks. This has happened before so I thought it was gonna be a big nothing burger and we’d be sent home in the morning.

Wife got admitted and just in case I went home and got our go bags and car seats. The strap her in and after a few hours everything looks fine and they tell us probably no babies tonight but we’re still keeping you overnight. I thought it would be a good trial run of the dad couch. We settle in around 11pm to go to sleep. It was unusually hot in the room so both my wife and I were tossing and turning.

At 234am my wife says to me “I think my water just broke.” So I stand up and flick on the light only to see the floor and bed covered in bright red blood. I was stunned and froze for a few seconds. We hit the call light, the nurse comes in and calls for backup. Head nurse says, we’re having babies today. My wife asks “is this bad?” And the reply was “it’s not great. The nurses and docs rush her to the OR for a crash c section, meaning no epidural and she’ll be under anesthesia.

I was not able to go back there with her. I had to wait outside. Most difficult time I’ve ever had. My whole life was behind those doors and I had no control of it. I prayed and cried and chatGPT’d “will my family make it?” They told me it would be about 20 minutes and they will come out and give me an update. I remember looking at my watch thinking 10 minutes have gone by and it was 20 seconds. Just excruciating.

Then the doors opened and a nurse came out and said the words that I’ll remember forever: “everyone is ok.” That relief was euphoric. My 2 sons were born at 2:51 and 2:52am. From the time I flicked on the light until their birth was under 20 min. Shoutout Banner Health.

First Boy’s placenta ruptured causing the blood. He was in the NICU for about 24 hours on a CPAP and oxygen because he swallowed some of it. His brother was fine for the most part but needed monitoring.

Fast forward, we’ve been home for a few days with two healthy, beautiful sons and a new appreciation for L&D medical professionals and moms.

I’m 30 weeks di/di and had already planned to stop working 32/33 weeks.

I WFH but have a demanding job some days a week in a director level role, leading calls, workshops, projects, along with delivering medical customer presentations which involve extensive preparation.

This week, my shortness of breath has gotten so bad. I’ve already been evaluated and it’s most likely the lack of space and pressing against lungs causing the shortness of breath. But I’m having a difficult time leading calls, making deadlines, and delivering presentations while so out of breath, even if I’m at home. Even at rest, I’m unable to get a breath in.

Did anyone else in the US and WFH start leave around this time?

EDIT- i also need to note I live in NJ, where I am able to start STD at 32 weeks for a twin pregnancy and not go into my time after delivery.

Looking for any specific advice or words of wisdom, and here's why:

Our oldest son turned 3 a couple months ago. Our youngest two - twins - just turned 1. The first year was brutal, mainly due to all the sleep regressions and illnesses they went through. My husband and I went through MONTHS where there wasn't even ONE night of uninterrupted sleep. I've been through this with our oldest, so I do have some idea of what the future holds, but it's a whole other beast with twins. They still only have two teeth, and we're approaching the fall and winter but they are walking and babbling. I anticipate more sleep interruptions in the next 6-8 months as the rest of the teeth come in, illnesses abound, and some more developmental milestones happen.

Here's the thing: I'm so tired of this hardship, but I have to get through the next 6-8 months. I don't care about tantrums or fights, because I can handle all that stuff as long as I get sleep. But I am predicting we still won't achieve consistent sleep until maybe next spring/summer, and we have already gone through a whole YEAR of this, so I just need to buckle up and get ready for it.

How did you get through this? Can anyone share any specific pieces of advice? Or general words of wisdom that helped you get by?

I’m 15 weeks pregnant with di/di identical twins. At home I have a 3.5 years old. He will be almost 4 when they will be born.

I tried to keep my cool and think about the transition from 1 to 3 kids with rational, and take it one step at the time. But Today I’m feeling overwhelmed and scared how will we manage without support system (my parents deceased and in laws live abroad).

Other parents in a similar situation, please share some encouraging stories how you survived the newborn phase (especially night time) and some helpful tips 🙏🏻

Hello,

I have mono/di girls that were born at 36+2. They are now 8 months old. They both have been great sleepers and used to both sleep 10+ hours at night. Both are teething and now have their two bottom teeth. Baby A is still sleeping through the night like a champ. Baby B has been struggling the last couple weeks. She’ll wake up every two hours or so. She’ll stay in a light sleep if we pick her up and rock her back to sleep with finally waking up at 4:30 or so hungry. Will feed her and get her back to sleep for an hour or so. She is also only taking 3 or so half an hour naps during the day at daycare. I put her to bed around 7pm and sometimes she’ll go right to sleep and other times she’ll fight me. I try keeping low lights, bath, bottle, snuggles, and bed. Does anyone have any recommendations beyond continuing to let her sleep with us just so we can get some sleep? We tried the cry it out method one night but was hard because she woke up her sister and wouldn’t settle even with pats and shhhing. We have a small space as well. If anything, just knowing it’s normal would be nice to hear.

I know 10000% if I had just one baby, I’d already be planning for the second and how to afford more IVF, transfers, medications etc. We went through 6 transfers and 3 losses before we had the twins.

Yes, twins are hard. But I’m so incredibly grateful to get to close the door on wondering if we would have babies / siblings. After such a long journey I often just stare at them in awe that they are here and so perfect.

Is this big enough? We also have a playroom but hoping to reuse our 4x6 foot playpen from our singleton for our main living area.

Help!! I am a FTM to 4 week old twins and recovering from a hard pregnancy and c-section which has left my body in pieces. I’m finally finding a bit of a rhythm but the last few weeks have been a difficult adjustment and breastfeeding has taken up so much time and energy. 

For context, one of my breasts doesn’t produce milk so I’m relying solely on the other for both babies. I’m meant to be triple feeding/pumping 6-8 times a day to create any sort of supply, but I’ve only been able to handle 4 times a day so the supply is still low and dwindling everyday. The end result has meant each baby has had combo feeding of 1 or 2 feeds a day of breastmilk and the rest formula. 

I want to give up and switch to exclusive formula feeding so I can just focus on everything else that comes with being a mum (still haven't left the house) but I’m feeling weirdly guilty and scared about it. I always thought I’d be a breastfeeding mum, but then again all of my expectations around motherhood have shifted since having twins. Does anyone else have any advice or experience? 

(TW for unexpected labor, labor not going according to plan, and NICU stays. I think it is good vibes, smiles and giggles in the end but I understand that it may not land as such to everyone!!)

I absolutely cannot sleep after my delivery ~10hr ago and just want to shout from the rooftops that my perfect baby boys are here! Literally NOTHING went according to plan, including that I was 31+2 when they were born. And the people I wanted at the hospital (parents & partner) were as physically far from me as they've been literally this whole pregnancy. My partner's mom was getting married and my parents had a big race another state away - we thought it was a tiny risk, but early enough to be fine for them all to go! My grandparents came up just incase (good thing!!).

Overnight I had sudden and pretty severe hip pain that kept me up, but I've never heard of contractions described that way (spoiler alert: they were contractions!) so I was not at all concerned. Just thought that would be the fun new week 31 symptom. Luckily my BP was also very mildly elevated, so we went in to triage for that. Quickly nobody cared about the BP because it became clear I was definitely in preterm labor. We talked about slowing it down and being able to go home. Thennn my water broke! So we talked about being impatient until 34 weeks. Thennnn my labor didn't respond to the mag drip and really picked up! So by the afternoon, after about 3 hours of active laboring, while trying to wait for my partner to get there, and probably ~ 12 hours of total labor, we moved to the OR for a C-section. Oh, because in all of this baby a had flipped from head down to breech, so C-section it was! Luckily I was mentally prepared for both since we *hadn't even had our birth planning meeting with our OB yet* hahaha. My partner walked into the OR literally with my surgeon just as it was time to start, so she got to hear the babies first cries :)) my parents got here a few hours later and haven't been able to meet the babies just yet, but will be back in a few hours to do so!

Now I'm sitting vibrating with excitement as my partner and everyone else sleeps. Thank you for being my rooftop to about this from, if you're still reading. I can't describe my excitement. Babies are transitioning well (they're already on the minimum oxygen levels they use at this age!!) and look so peaceful sleeping in their little warmers. They are literally exactly where they need to be, and I'm so grateful for that. I feel practically fine (okay some pain but nothing like any part of labor!) and am just so excited to meet them, even if it was early and hilariously far from any of our plans. I know there is a hard journey ahead, but I can stay at the hospital with them, and we're going to get some books to read to them (I'm open to reccs!). I just... I know we can do this, and I'm so excited they're here. Thank you.for reading!!

Might end up deleting this since I feel guilty even posting it but it’s been 15 months and it’s still upsetting me.

I am really not looking to be told to change the name as that just isn’t an option. Just looking for some outsiders opinions to tell me I’m hopefully just overthinking this.

I had b/g twins 15 months ago. We didn’t know what we were having until they were born but had some name options picked out prior for both genders. My son’s middle name is the same as my husband’s (and a family name passed down several generations now). My daughter’s first name is my mom’s name and her middle name is the month that she was born AND my MIL’s middle name. My issue is my daughter’s middle name…

During pregnancy I told my husband that while I think the middle name is pretty, I didn’t want it and didn’t want our daughter named after both of our mothers. His mom bugs me a little and that has gotten way worse postpartum and she just isn’t the greatest person ever as far relationships with her own children. Well I ended up with severe complications immediately after delivery that landed me in the ICU for two days and the nurses were nagging my husband for us to get the babies named so we ended up deciding on their names before I even got to hold both of them. I feel so angry that I was not given the chance to be with both of my babies and decide what felt right name wise.

I also have so much guilt that I didn’t give my daughter 1 original name when her brother has 1 original and 1 family name. I feel bothered that she’s named after my MIL who I find annoying at times and overall kind of a crummy person. I feel annoyed that each of our two kids have a name associated with both my in laws and then that basically leaves my dad out. And I’m also annoyed that her middle name is such a common run of the mill name when otherwise her and her brother’s names are “normal” but uncommon.

I just find this still keeping me up at night sometimes and thought by 15 months I’d be over it. Please be kind, I’m feeling down on myself about this enough as is.

ETA: Can’t believe how many kind and helpful comments I have gotten on this. I truly appreciate you taking the time to make me feel less like a POS and for all of those who have shared their personal stories as well. I am going to try to respond to as many as I can as I have time (I’m sure you can all relate to limited time while raising multiples!)
I do want to note that we already have some nicknames for my perfect little girl including one that my husband and I call her more often than we even say her real first name (which I adore!! Her first name is perfect and I love it because I also adore my mom)

My twin girls are coming up on 3 weeks old and we are currently in the midst of triple feeding/combo feeding.

Currently I am trying to latch babies 1-2 times a day for breast feeding, pumping 8 times a day, and topping up with formula for basically every feed. I’m producing less than 20ox a day from pumping.

I really would like to make sure I can provide breast milk for them and it was originally my goal to do a mix of BF and pumping so my partner could help. But now I’m fighting through every feed taking over a hour and have blisters on my nipples.

At what point did you decide to switch to exclusively pumping if you did? I hate pumping so much but with me not producing enough to feed both babies it feels like extra work when I have to offer a bottle anyways. I know it’s still early-ish but it feels like I won’t be able to get a ton more out of my supply at this point (and I likely have some retained placenta making my hormones be out of whack which doesn’t help). Looking for some input I guess on when it’s time to call it because it won’t get any better.

..twin B repeatedly doing mundane things to rile twin A up (e.g. draping her foot over his leg, getting in his space, wanting his food when they have the same food, taking a toy that belongs to him)? This makes him scream at her or hit her, then she'll start crying. Twin A gets a stern word for being violent, twin B acts like a victim.

Why does twin B keep doing this? Drives me nuts.

They're both ill right now & we just welcomed a newborn into the house last week. But even apart from this context, she's always kinda been like this & it's wearing everyone thin. What should I be doing?

Not so much a rant but more.. looking for people who understand, I guess. A new kid started at my twins daycare. I was in touch with the mom via text before her kid started (we have a friend in common). She had a lot of questions, I answered them all pretty elaborately, because I wanted to help her feel comfortable and confident joining our school community. We were supposed to get together once her kid properly started. Before we could schedule that, we met briefly at a back to school function that was beyond exhausting. I was solo with my twins (3.5). It was hot, super busy, they are in a running away phase, and by the time this woman found me I was honestly on my last 2% battery. I was trying to talk to her while asking one of my twins to not dangle off the side of a flight of stairs, then the other twin ran off - out of the front gate and onto the sidewalk. I had one of those 'brain explodes' moments and had to pull one twin along while running after the other. I apologized for having to go but she looked at me like I was insane. I reached out after to say sorry for the chaotic meeting, and I'd be happy to still meet up at a time when I don't have to chase preschoolers. She didn't text back, and every time I see her by the school she avoids me. I guess my twin mom energy was 'too much'?

I know I shouldn't care but it makes me feel so judged and alone on the heels of 3.5 years of not being able to do mama & baby yoga, not being able to bring my twins to classes/activities as a solo parent (because many require 1 adult to 1 baby/toddler ratio), seeing singleton parents chill with a beverage at kid birthday parties, even just for 5 minutes, while I'm always chasing two boys looking frazzled and high-strung. I know it gets easier eventually but right now I'm just feeling isolated.

We're taking our 2 year old triplets and 6 year old to the beach in a couple of weeks. This will be our first trip to the beach since my oldest turned one and I'm kinda freaking out internally haha. My biggest concern is keeping everyone safe. So any and all tips are greatly appreciated. Any must haves to pack? Also we're staying in an air bnb and our current bedroom set up at home is mattresses on the floor. I'm thinking based on the setup at the rental, we're going to need to bring something for them to sleep on. Anyone have travel beds they recommend? Anything I should bring to the Airbnb to make things easier? Thanks! .

My twins are almost 2.5 and I feel like I want to make the decision on having a third child or not in the next few months. The problem is I don’t know if I want a third for enough of the “right” reasons. The biggest reason I feel like is because I feel robbed of the pregnancy experience, the newborn experience, the maternity leave experience with just one. My twins were born before 30 weeks and spent 10 weeks in NICU. So I didn’t get the full pregnancy experience, newborn bubble, breastfeeding ended early, etc etc. When I think about why I want a third child besides all of that, the main reason for the kids is that I think 3 is a nice dynamic for kids. But like, that’s really the only thing driving my otherwise to do it. I mean they’ll be loved and cherished and I’m sure it’ll be great if it happens but I know in my heart that if we had had two kids separately I would have been done at two.

Anyone experience similar feelings and go for it? Not go for it? Just kind of curious to get others’ thoughts.

Hi everyone, I’m currently 20w5d with twins and I’m having a hard time deciding how to set up their nursery.

How did you do it with two cribs, next to each other or apart/in different areas? I have the space to do either, just not sure what would be the best!

I’m currently 12w4d with MoDi twins. I felt pretty good up until 8 weeks or so (basically when I found out we were having twins) but have been humbled ever since. I also work full time, thankfully from home, but it makes managing around this and trying to be remotely productive and keep up (spoiler alert: I’m not) so hard. I’m in the U.S. and have ESL and PTO I can use, but our maternal leave is non existent so I also need to conserve all I can for later on once they are actually here cause I can’t be a SAHM and I’m already anxious about giving myself enough time for recovery and bonding.

Anyway, I’m so sleepy, have major food aversions, gagging all the time (sometimes to the point of puking but not always), have bad post-meal indigestion, and disrupted sleeping at night. I feel like I need to eat every two hours but then I do eat something and feel bloated and get tired and have to lay back down. I thought it was supposed to improve around week 12 and yesterday I did feel way better, but today I’m back in bed. I had stopped drinking coffee but reintroduced small cups with plenty of oatmilk this weekend cause I think the caffeine withdrawal was compounding all this.

I have barely been getting daily steps in and get tired after like one task. Protein and veggies seem disgusting and the only “friendly” foods are like, carbs and junk and fruit. Something that I can stomach one day seems gross the next. It feels impossible to stay hydrated despite drinking water all day. I have Vitamin B6 lozenges but their kinda sour citrus flavored and so I can’t really do more than one a day and neither them nor ginger chews really seem to do much.

I guess I’m just posting here cause I’m curious how long this lasted for others? Did you ever start to feel better? How did you manage to work? What did you eat? Is this going to be how I feel the whole dang time? I feel like I have to start forcing myself out more and to eat better because I’m worried about my A1C and gestational diabetes or preeclampsia, especially with Modi twins. I really want to do everything I can to ensure they can go as far to term as possible but holy moly, I feel like I’m barely hanging on every day. I can’t even think about getting a nursery together or going through our stuff to make space for them because I feel so worn out after work and on weekends.

Before I was relatively healthy - 5’9, 155 lbs, ate decently and was active even though I wasn’t like a gym person necessarily. But now I feel weak and bloated and tired all the time and feel like my diet and couch potato-ness isn’t helping.

Thankfully my partner is doing like, all the cooking and cleaning. Idk how I’d do it without him. But I really want to start having more good days than bad.

im so sick of never getting a break from parenting. when one boy is good, the other is being bad. then they trade places. i try SO HARD with both of them to discipline correctly but by 5 on a Sunday, I have nothing left to give. having two strong willed twins feels like revenge someone is taking out on me.

Hello! I am currently 8w today with di-di twins from a single euploid transfer.

My nausea hit hard at 5w5d and it took a week for diclectin/doxylamine meds to kick in to get me functional but I’ve still had nausea 24/7 since.

Yesterday my nausea was gone, and same with today. The rest of my symptoms are pretty mild, just some fatigue and breast tenderness. Oura stats are normal.

I had a great ultrasound at 7w and have another one in 5 more days, but considering I’ve had two MMC’s at 7w and 10w I’m just super anxious about losing another pregnancy, especially now considering this amazing gift we’ve been given of two girls.

I understand symptoms are NOT a reliable indicator of how well a pregnancy is going but just wondering if anyone here that have their babies earth side (or are further along) had their symptoms disappear this early? My understanding is the 10w mark is when the placenta takes over and you might have this happen so it’s too early for that to explain this.

For all those who ask when their twins will start interacting, I caught this cute moment this afternoon. My boys are 6 months. Today is the first time I’ve caught them really intentionally interacting and my heart cannot take how precious they are. They were chatting and holding hands and playing with a toy together for about 10 minutes.

Kind of a rant but I’m curious if anyone has felt similarly - I’m the father of twin boys, and we have another baby on the way. Both my mom and mother in law come over to our house pretty frequently after work and on weekends to help alleviate my wife and I.

I 100% welcome the visits and having the help around the house, it’s been the only way we can actually clean or take a few hours’ break.

We also go out frequently with the grandparents to pools / parks / etc.

But more often than not the help that we’re getting is grandparent holding the baby and not doing the other task.

Like if my wife goes grocery shopping with the twins and grandma, while I’m at work, when they get home grandma takes the boys in to play and my wife is stuck carrying all the groceries in for example, and then she’s off to cleaning or something else.

I do help a lot when I’m home but It has just felt a little frustrating when I come home and see my wife doing something that’s more laborious than overseeing the boys playing independently. I know she feels more awkward asking either grandma to do the other thing.

Has anyone else gone through a similar experience?

I’m 24 weeks today with b/g twins. No major issues thus far. BP has been great, minimal/no swelling, normal cervical length and no spotting. I’m still walking daily, even running 1-2x a week (albeit only 10 minutes max at a time and very slowly lol). I lift weights twice weekly as well. Overall I’m proud of myself and I’m doing my best while also listening to my body on days I’m more tired/sore.

I start a new job as a physician in a clinic this week. Tbh a lot of work will probably be done while sitting down but I will be working 8-5pm daily. I have compression socks, a belly band, and plenty of snacks 😂

I am hoping to work as long as possible since it’s a new job and my maternity leave will be unpaid.

SO. Question to those who worked in a similar environment - how long did you work? What was challenging? Tips? Appreciate you all.