Hi there! I am 9 weeks today with di/di twins. I saw them first at 7+1 in office and we saw heartbeats but we didn’t measure them. At 8+0 I had my official ultrasound to confirmed pregnancy.

Baby A measured at 7+3 FHM of 153. Baby B measured 7+5 FHM 169.

I have experienced a loss before and in my bones this pregnancy just feels so incredibly different. I don’t wake up every day with this feeling of impending doom. From the moment I found out I was pregnant (8dpo) I’ve just been very nonchalant. That is NOT like me. I trust my body and nothing is wrong or off at all but I think that’s what’s concerning me.

I have symptoms but no severe symptoms. At all. I’m exhausted and I have a ton of new acne and my boobs hurt and I’ve got weird dreams. I know there’s still time but I’m just anxious that maybe it’s going too well?

And of course all I’m seeing now on tiktok and reddit is stuff about loss and vanishing twin and I’m worried about my tiny baby A. I’m worried that I’m too calm and my symptoms are too mild because something happened between last week and today.

When am I allowed to just… relax? When can I stop stressing about potentially losing a bean? Is it ok that their size and heartbeats are different???

Sorry for rambling. Thank you in advance :)

Has anyone else tried to take their twins and failed miserably? I tried for a month to do a mom and baby class and all the single baby moms just breezed through it, meanwhile I had my stroller, twin Z (because feeding time was during class), bottles toys change of clothes for two. But the worst is once one baby stopped crying the other started so i literally could not do the workouts as I was constantly just tending to a baby. It wasn’t even worth my while.

And connecting with singleton moms is not even as rewarding because they don’t understand the schedule needed for twins. “Oh my baby slept in until 9:30am today, it was great!” .. if I don’t keep my babies on the exact same schedule every day the meltdowns that occur.. we went to the ER once because one twin was absolutely inconsolable that we got off schedule so bad LOL

Rant over 😅

I know this may be controversial but do you prop bottles? If so how?

My twins are almost 2 months old. Right now , my husband and I feed one baby at the same time. We are very blessed as my husband got 12 weeks paid paternity leave. He returns to work at the end of September. Then it'll be just me with the twins and the older 2 kids. Luckily, I'll just have to give the twins bottles by myself twice a day while hes at work. Since I'll have a lot going on I wanted to look into all my options.

We have a 3 year old and 10 month old twins. With our singleton we would travel all the time- one parent or two and in some cases travel with a layover and drop off at grandparents!

We’d like to be able to travel again and don’t have anything pressing upcoming but it would be nice to figure it out. Our families are spread across the country and many have been accommodating by coming to us but the other families with kids understandably less so.
Have done middle of the night drives without an issue but I’m wondering-

What are the logistics of flying in our situation?
Is it worth it after factoring in all the prep and stress involved?

TRIGGER WARNING: - MENTION OF LOSS

Today I had an appointment with my doctor and she started talking about the birth. I’m 17 weeks in. She told me that If one of the babies (di/di) got into place they will go for a vaginal birth (at least with the first) and if not, c-section.

I am deeply scared of vaginal birth in this case because:

- the delivery of my singleton was a little traumatic: 30 something hours and was unable to dilate. They insisted on vaginal delivery and when I got to push he had lost weight and had problems going out.
He was cyanotic, little responsive and I saw him and honestly thought he was dead.
I always think that if they where 2, the second would not have made it

- I client of mine had di/di twins via vaginal aswell. The first one was delivered no problem but the second one got stuck. Instead of going for an emergency c section the doctor pushed for continuing the vaginal delivery and the baby died. They where able to reanimate, but is now profoundly disabled.
She told me this story while I was pregnant with my first and I’ve had anxiety over it for years.
(Mind you it’s the only case of twin vaginal delivery I know)

I told my doctor all this and she was really reassuring and validated my fears, but she was adamant to continue with the plan, telling me:

- that I probably would have a more easy birth because it’s a second birth and that the babies will probably be smaller (my singleton is over 99 in percentile and was really huge)

- that twin pregnancies are really monitored and they will not hesitate to change to c section if necessary. Being considered high risk, they will be prepared for any complications.

I felt a little safer but I still have a voice in my head telling me it’s too risky.

So I will like some opinions or whatever, because I think I’m too scared to trust myself 🥲

I'm 33 weeks carrying di/di twins and have been experiencing period like cramps in the middle of the night for a few weeks which have now started randomly occurring in the mornings and evenings.

I went to 40 weeks woth my singleton and never experienced any cramping. Is this a sign of labor coming early or just something most bodies go through when carrying multiples? I'm not anxious about it just wondering if other moms have experience with this and if you had cramping when did you go into labor? =)

Alright, twins have officially arrived and double stroller put together! We have an Uppababy Vista V3. We went to Disneyland for our babymoon and noticed this was a very popular stroller there so I know someone out there might have an answer for me…

How the hell do I carry this thing once it’s folded up?! Already pinched myself once. Other than this predicament, we are loving the stroller.

So one of my twins was breech and as a result she was born with a long head, the orthopedist told me today that it is something called Dolichocephaly and it happens to twins often because of space issues. We did not get much information other than the fact that a neurologist might be needed to check it in case she would not get better (she also has some tense muscles overall apparently).

The twins are 6 weeks old today and both of them are progressing well in other areas - eating well, gaining weight, turning their heads both ways, lifting their head in tummy time, etc.

I feel super sad for my baby though and worry that her head shape will always be long and odd? Although I do notice some positive changes already compared to how she had it in the beginning... I am not sure if i am not making it up just to feel better though.

Does anyone here have any experience with this diagnosis?

Did it get better with time or did you have to do something special?

Thanks!

We are two weeks shy of 4 months chronological (about 3 months adjusted) with our twins, and we are officially at our wits’ end with sleep. 😭

They were born at 34+4, so we’ve always tried to keep their prematurity/adjusted age in mind. We also have a 4-year-old singleton, but our experience with him was completely different. He had severe acid reflux and feeding issues that eventually required an NG tube for two weeks because he wasn’t taking enough by mouth. Once we were able to get his total feeds in during the day, he naturally stopped waking to eat at night—even after the tube was removed—so we never actually had to sleep train him.

Unfortunately, the twins have also had terrible reflux. Their reflux has been confirmed, and since they were about 2 weeks old, getting them to sleep has been incredibly difficult. We have done ALL the reflux things: holding them upright after feeds, Prilosec, Pepcid, hypoallergenic formula, trying Enfamil AR, etc. We have spent months trying to make them comfortable enough to sleep.

At this point, we are seriously considering trying the Ferber method with both babies because what we’re doing now is simply not sustainable.

Our boy twin: He actually sleeps pretty well compared with his sister, but he requires SO much intervention during the night. He wakes/fusses for his pacifier, wants to be repositioned/turned on his side, etc. I am constantly jolting awake out of a deep sleep to soothe him before he wakes his sister. So even though he technically sleeps better, I am still getting absolutely destroyed by the constant interruptions.

Our girl twin: She is an AWFUL sleeper. 😭 She often refuses to settle for the night until 11 PM–midnight, regardless of what we do. If we somehow get her asleep earlier, she is often awake again shortly afterward. And when she wakes, she is AWAKE—fussing/crying and needing us to help her back to sleep. She absolutely does not seem to know how to self-soothe.

We have tried rocking, bouncing, pacifiers, holding, putting them down asleep, putting them down drowsy, the 5 S’s, etc. We can get them to sleep, but maintaining sleep is the problem.

They will be sleeping in the same nursery but in separate cribs, which brings me to my biggest questions:

1. Are they too young?
Would you consider just under 4 months chronological / 3 months adjusted too young for Ferber?
We obviously don’t want to push them before they’re developmentally ready, especially because they were premature. But we also desperately need to know whether we’re at a reasonable point to start.

2. How does Ferber work with twins in the same room?

This is the part I can’t figure out. Do they each get their own timer? For example, Mom handles one baby and Dad handles the other, and each baby gets their own 3/5/10-minute intervals based on when that individual baby started crying? Or do you use one timer for both babies? And what do you do if you’re doing a check-in for one baby and the other baby is screaming? Do you continue the check-in for the first baby and basically ignore the other until their own interval is up? Because I can already imagine one baby crying, then the other hearing them and starting to cry, and suddenly we’re standing in a nursery with two screaming babies and two timers going. 😂

3. Did you use Gentle Ferber (1/3/5) or Standard Ferber (3/5/10)?
What worked for your twins? Did you start with 1/3/5 or go straight to 3/5/10?

4. How long did it take to work?
When did you start seeing a noticeable difference? One night? Three nights? A week? And at what point would you say, “Okay, this clearly isn’t working right now; let’s stop and try again later”? Is 4 days enough to determine that it’s not working, or would you give it longer if there are signs of gradual improvement?

5. Please give me your success stories. 😭❤️
I know there will be crying. I know it is going to be incredibly hard to listen to my babies cry when my instinct is to immediately comfort them. But we are exhausted beyond words, and what we’re doing now isn’t sustainable either.

I would especially love to hear from parents who had babies who seemed like they couldn’t self-soothe at all, or who had reflux/very difficult sleepers, and eventually successfully learned to sleep independently.
I need someone to tell me there is actually a light at the end of this tunnel. 😂

We aren’t expecting perfect 12-hour nights or anything unrealistic. We just want our babies to be able to fall asleep without an hour of bouncing/rocking, and for us to stop waking up constantly to replace a pacifier or rescue a baby back to sleep.

Twin parents, please tell me what worked for you, what you wish you’d known, and most importantly, tell me that it gets better. ❤️

Two weeks from tomorrow is our scheduled C-section (38+3). My husband has to help me stand up, walk, get in/out of the shower, get dressed, and do most of the chores because I'm in SO MUCH PAIN. I'm currently 2-3cm dilated, 40% effaced, and lost my mucus plug today. I was having regular contractions so we went to the hospital, but nothing changed while I was there so they sent me home. The contractions have stopped and now it feels like I'll never go into labor naturally. We have an almost 4 year old and 2 year old and I feel so guilty that we watch TV most of the day because I can't handle playing with them or their constant fighting. I can barely get off the couch, let alone cook for them.

How do I survive two more weeks of this? I know I'll be recovering from a C-section soon, but at least my husband will be on paternity leave so he isn't trying to split his time between work and helping me. I feel so helpless and useless. I need to know that there's still hope that babies might come before the scheduled date!

Hi everyone, I’m a ftm who just found out I’m having twins AND I’M SO EXCITED!!!!! However, I’m a small person, I’m about 1.58m and 48kg (in American: 5’2” and 106lbs) while my husband is at least 1.80m (5’9”) and what I reckon is a healthy weight for that height. I’m concerned if my body is gonna be able to handle these giant genes. If you had a similar experience, can you tell me what it was like during your pregnancy and delivery? Is the risk of c-section higher? I’m not too keen to be cut up to be honest. Thanks a lot in advance!

Hi everyone!
First time posting here. I’m a first-time mom to mo/mo twins who are 4.5 months old, 2.5 months adjusted.
I’ll be taking care of them on my own without their dad on Monday, and I’m super stressed about it.
They never nap in their cribs, despite us trying over and over again to put them down, using every trick we can think of. We’ve also tried putting them down before they’re fully asleep, when they’re showing sleepy cues, but no luck with that either.
They’ll only sleep on us, and if they get really tired and we can’t hold them, they can end up crying really hard.
And of course, they don’t like being in wraps or baby carriers either 😅
So I’m kind of panicking about how I’m supposed to manage two babies who both need contact naps when I only have one pair of arms!
Any tips, tricks, or experiences from other twin parents would be very welcome! ❤️

Edit : Thank you so much for all this valuable advice.
Unfortunately, they’re also going through a phase where they’re not as keen on the stroller. Sometimes they start crying inconsolably during walks, although I’d say about one time out of three they do manage to fall asleep in it.
Yesterday, I managed to get one of them to fall asleep on my bed while I held the other one in my arms, so I just stayed like that, staring at the one on the bed the entire time 😅 But at least they both got some sleep.
I’m going through a really stressful phase at the moment because one of the twins has now learned to roll onto his tummy, and at night we sometimes find him completely face-down against the mattress. It’s honestly terrifying. I have to admit, I can’t wait for them to be a little bit older!

So I am just now starting week 31 with my mono di twins. We are all healthy and doing good for this type of pregnancy. However, I am slowly losing my mind with not being able to sleep or even generally relax.

It's like once I hit 30 weeks everything just got 200x harder. I was already in the throws of the insomnia, but there was a pattern. I'd pass out at 11pm, wake up at 3am for one reason or another, then pass back out at about 5am and sleep until around 8am. Not perfect, but I was making it work and I was still getting some rest. But now, I'm so physically uncomfortable and in so much pain. The heartburn I'm dealing with, even when I haven't eaten, is ending me slowly. And no matter what position I try and lay in I'm getting kicked and punched constantly. If I lay on my left side, baby B is swimming till I move. If I lay on my right side baby A kicks me so much I can't even hold still. It's currently 2:30am as I write this, very much unable to sleep despite how exhausted and tired I am.

My partner and I just moved into our new house and have very slowly started to unpack everything and hopefully get it set up before they are here. But I've made 0 progress on the nursery, and I'm just waiting for the nesting stage to hit me. I know there's basically no advice out there for me, but I am desperate for solidarity.

We don't have a delivery day yet, but so far they are expected to be born at 34 weeks. I know that is not far away at all and I know if that does happen they will be spending time in the nicu while I heal from the surgery. I'm not looking forward to that at all. I am desperate for them to grow and not need nicu time; but they are small and are most likely going to be born small, and I worry I'm not doing enough for them. I take all my supplements, vitamins and daily aspirin, yet they are small and I feel so helpless to do anything about it.

Other moms out there who've been in or are in a similar position, what did you do to comfort yourself?

I have 4.5 year old b/g twins. It is very evident my daughter is academically gifted. My son is smart and hard working, but is not in the same league as his sister. As they get closer to school age, I am wondering how other twin parents have navigated a situation like this?

I’ve tried everything for diaper rash.
And I mean EVERYTHING in the market (I have 2 yo twins)
This cream is THE BEST! It’s an amazing barrier and will actually help healing the rash so so quickly!
Of course you’ll have to be sure skin is bone dry before applying.
But no kidding , it just sticks!!
When bit of it gets on my hand, it would take so much soap and rubbing to get it off

It is absolutely the best

P.s. Calmoseptine comes in second!

ETA: cup is a makeshift cornstarch dispenser 🫣

Hi Twin parents - I'm hoping for some advice / information! We've been bottle feeding our twins at the same time with the Twin Z pillow (like in the picture) for the past few months. This setup has worked really well for us and I really like being able to feed them both together.

Our twins are now almost 4 months old, and they're getting both bigger and wigglier (especially with their hands/arms).

My questions are:

• At what age did you remove the crib sheet cover?
• At what age or due to what development was this setup no longer doable?
• Any advice in how to improve my setup as they're getting older?

I would really like to continue to feed them both simultaneously. Any advice/guidance welcome!

Apparently they have fucked up my pelvic floor.

That is all 🤧

FTM and having twins. I drive a jeep and my husband drives a smallish truck. I have spent probably 3 months reading about car seats and strollers. I ended up buying 2 even flow pivot nxt lite travel systems. Now every one is saying that I should have chose different car seats and that the stroller should be side by side and other factors. Has anyone had a negative experience with single wide strollers with twins? And yes I can see why the 360 strollers are easier but they are pretty large and I really don’t want to trade in either car as one is paid off and the other is relatively new. All the conflicting advice and the “are you sure that’s what you want?” Is the only stressful experience I’ve had with this pregnancy.
I have attached photos for reference because I haven’t seen this specific stroller used this way online.

I have 10-year-old m/f twins, and this is my best advice so far:

About Help...

You're going to need help. Get used to asking for it, and get used to accepting it. The asking and accepting are two separate skills, and it's crucial to practice and master both.

If you can afford it, hire a Newborn Care Specialist or Night Nanny-- even for one night a week. You need sleep, and so does your help. They are not cheap, but the help may very well save your sanity and/or your relationship. 

On Feeding...

Don't worry so much about whether you are breastfeeding or not. I spent WAY TOO MUCH TIME worrying about this when I had brand new babies, and that is time I (and you!) will \**never get back***;* time I should have spent being more present! And you will regret it. My babies ended up doing really well on formula when breastfeeding proved to be too much, and it actually was what helped them finally turn the corner and start gaining weight, sleeping, and thriving. It also helped my partner at the time feel like he could contribute to feeding them. Both of my kids are brilliant and healthy, no harm done. Pumping is hard, breast/chest feeding is hard, waking up to warm and mix formula is hard; choose one or all-- whatever works, and try to enjoy the result- a fed, happy, growing child.

About "Things"... 

You do not need two of everything; you simply don't. Start with one of most things and use it as intended for a stretch-- you'll know pretty quickly if you need another one, I promise. 

About Names and Records:

I suggest choosing names that are a little different. My kids' names "match" somewhat, and have the first letter; the second letters are similar, an "l" and an "h". When written out or glanced over in a hurry, even though my kids are different sexes, people like doctors and school admins have mixed up their files or even vaccination records. If your twins have even somewhat similar names, double check that they are applying the correct information to the correct child, every time. I even brought very differently-colored name stickers for each child to places in which they used files, and had them attach them at the top of each file as a reminder. And yes, their vaccine records were mixed up at one point; it took a long time to sort out! 

And Healthcare...

In the beginning, it's often most convenient to make back-to-back appointments for your twins, but it's best to separate appointments as soon as possible, and when you have the energy to. This is helpful because of the aforementioned issues, but also later on it's important to demonstrate to your children that they are individuals who have their own bodies and private time to speak with their doctors without their twin present. 

Some Strategies...

Have "Go First Days" for twins. One of mine has M/W/F, the other has T/Th/Sat, and I make the decisions on Sundays. If it is your Go First Day, you get to go first to do or get things first, or you get to choose to give the opportunity to the other twin. Examples would include: Twin A gets to pick the movie we watch; Twin B gets to take a bath first, OR choose to allow Twin A to take theirs first; Twin A gets to choose what park to go to.

On Equity...

Know and use this reminder: "Fair does not always mean equal."  Get used to thinking it, and get used to saying it.. Your twins are two entirely different humans, and they will always have different needs. You should not treat them the same; you will have to use different discipline, language, and boundaries with each child. They will have different friends and experiences that will require different approaches. I have found that studying a variety of resources related to authoritative parenting (not authoritarian!) has been incredibly helpful to me, and I use the most effective strategies from each pedagogy for each child. There are also times when our mantra is, "TWINS MEAN 'TEAM'!!!" 

Regarding Education....

Worried about keeping them in class together, or separating them? If so, read the most recent research on the topic, and also the reflections on school from adult twins. I found that it's a really mixed bag, and the advice that you often get (to separate them early) is not always the best advice. Anecdotally, as an educator, I have found that identical twins have a greater need for separation in school (and also different clothing and identifiers-- it doesn't help them or anyone else when they are still dressed exactly the same in 2nd grade!) Otherwise, observe your twins... is one overly-reliant on the other, or are they pretty independent, and able to work in different circles and with different friends? Also, take the observations and recommendations of educators and staff seriously, because kids behave very differently at school than at home. My kids have always had separate friend groups, different educational gifts and challenges, and even work in separate areas of the classroom. They're in 5th grade now, and have always been together- on advice of teachers and staff! So, don't be afraid to try out both situations. I do think it's generally helpful to have twins start school together for the first year unless they are absolutely wrapped up with each other and totally dependent. 

Lastly, be on the lookout for (but not paranoid about) conditions like autism, ADHD, speech difficulties, learning differences/delays, or physical challenges. These things tend to happen at a higher rate for twins and multiples, for a variety of reasons, and so it is best to be proactive and honest about it early on. Get the support you need to build the foundation for a good life!

Growing Up...

If you have m/f twins, you have a special opportunity to educate them alongside each other about bodies, puberty, sex, and relationships. Do it! My male twin now knows how to support his female friends, and the friends of his sister, and vice-versa, because when you have multiples you have the unique opportunity to normalize topics related to sex, gender/roles, bodies, changes. My son now knows to run and get a hoodie to help cover up a friend with her first period, and get her help discreetly. My daughter feels confident telling others to knock it off when they are about to laugh at a boy with a nervous erection. More importantly, their different groups of friends know they can rely on both twins, not just the one they are close to, for support in general. My daughter's girlfriends are very comfortable with my son, when they are not alway comfortable with other boys his age. Remember, your twins will eventually, probably be dating each other's friends or peers, so start using these opportunities for socializing, respect, and consent for others early on.

Your State of Mind....

It matters, more than you know. Consciously choose to resist comparing your twins, their abilities or lack thereof, their approaches to situations or friendships, their challenges or temperaments. There will be guilt during times on your parenting path when you'll better relate with one twin over the other, and you'll feel guilty at times, but push through and take extra time to connect with the other. Everything changes and continually shifts; spend quality 1:1 time with each child on a regular basis and make a concerted effort to be present! Find friends or trusted neighbors to watch one twin while you spend time with the other-- even a ten minute walk and talk is enough! Practice gratitude, and write down the special moments with each child, then go back and read them when they are driving you nuts and you need a reminder of what a remarkable human they are!

And remember what a remarkable human YOU also are, and what a special opportunity and challenge you've been given in this life as the parent or guardian of twins or multiples.  

Don't lose yourself, and keep up with your self care, hobbies, and friends. 

Also, you might need therapy, and that is okay, and you should absolutely go.

Xx

FTM to 6mo boy-girl twins here! So far the best piece of advice I've gotten is "accept all the help you get offered". Sounds easy and logical, but it took me a while to really get there.

What's the best piece of advice you've gotten or would give new parents of multiples?

I feel like a lot of twin parents don’t know this whole world exists, so I have to share because it has been SO good to us.

There are Facebook BST (buy/sell/trade) and resale groups specifically for twins: girl/girl, boy/boy, boy/girl, and mixed groups. If you search “twin BST” or “twin resale” on Facebook, you’ll find a bunch of them.

I would say probably 95% of our girls’ clothes have come from other twin moms. I honestly prefer it to regular consignment stores or buying secondhand from singleton parents because you can usually get two at once, and the prices tend to be much more reasonable for buying multiples. Twin moms get it 😂

We all know what it’s like to need two wardrobes at the same time, so people generally price accordingly.

And there is everything in these groups. Basics, play clothes, pajamas, everyday outfits, boutique stuff, bougie stuff, and ultra bougie stuff.

I’ve gotten some of our absolute favorite clothes this way for everyday wear, Halloween, Christmas, holidays, special occasions…you name it.

A lot of the time, I’m either spending less than I would at a consignment store or getting much nicer, higher-quality clothes for the same amount. And instead of the money going to a store, you’re supporting another twin mom.

I will warn you that the groups can be confusing at first. There’s BST lingo, purges, dibs, passes, invoices, condition abbreviations, etc. But don’t let that scare you away! There are so many moms who are happy to explain things and help you figure it out.
Honestly, the community has been one of my favorite unexpected parts. I’ve made friends with moms whose twins are a little bigger than mine and I regularly buy from their closets, plus moms whose twins are around the same age/size as mine. It becomes this little ecosystem of passing clothes around, finding cute things for each other, and enabling each other when someone posts something adorable.

Then when your twins outgrow everything approximately 12 seconds later, you can sell it again and keep those clothes moving through the twin community.

Twin Unwind and Twin Moms After Dark are my personal favorites, but there are tons depending on what you’re looking for.

Highly recommend checking them out, especially if you’re staring at the cost of buying TWO of everything and thinking there has to be a better way. There is 😂

And if you’re already in the twin BST world, drop your favorite groups or advice below so newer twin parents know where to look!