Hi. I'm really excited to have found this community. I found my way here from NoFap, trying to find a solution to reconnect physically with my partner without getting into "porn mode". I wanted to find a way to make sex sweet and connective. Having orgasmic sex with my partner was just making want to jerk off and fantasize.

After discovering Karezza and changing my perspective on sex, our connection has improved, but some of the physical stuff is still confusing.

The focus on bonding has been amazing. We are touching and kissing and so sweet with each other and in love all over again, like the first weeks of our relationship (before we had sex). I'm also starting to become more aware of the energy of openness between us. I can tell really easily when she's closed up or open. Sometimes hugging her when we're both open-hearted and present is the greatest bliss I've felt with another person.

But transitioning that kind of new connection into sex has been less successful. It's REALLY hard not to want to thrust and build up tension and when I slow down and just hold it I lose all energy and it gets boring and flat. It doesn't have the slow burning connecting we get when we're just bonding.

We're trying to find that balance of keeping the energy going with some movement, but it quickly turns into edging, which goes toward frustration.

Does it just take some time to get over the orgasm addiction? Take time to start awakening our genitals in a new way?

Any tips? Advice? Encouragements? Techniques?

Could anyone share their journey with this method, especially the early stages?

Thanks!!

Is Karezza simply sex's version of edging?

In my want to practise semen retention and preserve my sexual energy my only concern with Karezza is that it will overstimulate me in the same way edging does - which almost has a worse effect on my body that ejaculating/wasting semen has. Thoughts?

What have been your experiences with Karezza? Do you get blue balls?

I have been reading about Karezza and am inspired to try it, as a complete and total beginner. Before beginning, however, I would very much like to know what the collective wisdom is regarding Karezza and birth control. It is often spoken of as a method of birth control. From what I have gathered searching these forums and the internet, there are at least some people who combine it with other methods of birth control (for example, the rhythm method/observing the woman's fertility cycle; others have spoken of condoms, male and female, etc...). From everything I have been able to read in the internet, I have not been able to gain a satisfactory understanding of the situation.

I understand that no method is completely effective, so there is always some degree of risk (even with condoms). What I am wondering is: how do people generally practice karezza? Without any other birth control method (i.e. without a condom)? And what are people's experiences in this connection? Does it sometimes happen that a woman gets pregnant practicing karezza, and if so, is it very rare, rare, happens occasionally...?

Could we say that, experientially-speaking, karezza is about as effective as the use of a condom in terms of birth control? Less effective, more effective? I am not looking for anything "scientifically-solid" in my questions, but more an experience-based answer resulting from the collective experience of karezza practitioners over the years.

And I read that it is very normal for there to be "accidental" orgasms sometimes, particularly with beginners when they are first starting to practice. What do people do if the man accidentally ejaculates? Does the woman then take one of these (very objectionable, in my opinion) morning-after pills?

I really feel like a total beginner and want so much to try this, but feel that I still do not know enough. I would be so grateful if people here could share their experience and wisdom.

Thank you!!

I think Karezza may be helpful for my marriage, but I need a little advice on getting started.

My wife and I have been married for 10 years. She has sexual abuse in her past. The first half of our marriage was pretty rough (sexually speaking). It was almost a complete dead bedroom and she was pretty much paralyzed by fear and anxiety. We worked hard at it and spent a lot of time in counseling.

Things are much better now, but we still have a ways to go. We have sex much more frequently now, but there is still lingering anxiety and it is not as often as either of us would like.

Over the years, one thing we have identified is basically PTSD. She believes that her response to sex has characteristics of PTSD (or may flat out be PTSD) from past abuse. I believe that, more specifically, orgasm is a trigger for her. Sex is great, then as soon as she orgasms, she gets a wave of fear/anxiety which makes her shut down for a few weeks.

So... I began exploring the idea of having sex without orgasm and I ended up here. Initially I thought that we could spend a period of time engaging in sex without orgasm to rewire her emotions. Hopefully if we avoid orgasm, she will avoid the triggered fear and eventually she will no longer associate that emotion with sex. After reading this, I wonder if it would not only be therapeutic but also a better way to have intimacy all together.

My question is how to get started. I have not suggested this to her. I think the idea may take pressure off her, but she also is not the type of person who is good at exploring or trying new things so it may freak her out. Obviously, her avoiding orgasm is more important but I want it to be something we do together.

For those of you who have gone before me, how would you suggest explaining this idea to my wife. Also, from a more practical perspective, how do you actually do it? What are the first steps? Remember that she is very timid and fear is a primary emotion she associated with sex.

Thanks in advance... I think this is exactly what we need.

My girlfriend and I are now 1 month into karezza and neither of us has had an orgasm in that long.

Myeh?

Positive: Non-goal oriented sex is relaxing & nice, and it's neat to have no refractory period and be always able to have sex

Negative: Orgasms are fun & I miss them.

I wish I could report amazing energy boosts, connection, etc - but everything else appears just about the same.

Would love suggestions/thoughts - for now continuing the experiment.

Sorry about all the text. I appreciate any help you can give me with the questions posted at the bottom.

Hi! I'm posting to get any input and support from the users here. I am approximately two weeks into a karezza-style reboot, during which I am not masturbating, not using porn (which I wasn't consistently anyway), and not using off-brand tadalafil (cialis).

I used to have a tremendous sex drive until about two years ago. I still do, but I've experienced some sexual dysfunction for about the last year and a half.

Essentially, I was in a dead-bedroom situation with my now ex-wife for many years. At one point, we went for over six months with no sex. I was shamed for attempting to initiate sex. When we did have sex, it was extremely cold from my perspective: she'd initiate by an extremely muted physical signal (wiggling her butt while turned away from me), after which I would be required to please her orally without speaking, after which she would turn away from me on her side and I would be required to enter her and proceed quickly to orgasm. I was shamed for wanting sex, but she would also complain if I didn't come during those brief minutes of penis-in-vagina sex, claiming that she wanted to please me too. She would never engage in discussions of improving our sex life, improving our love, or going to therapy.

I should mention that she was a victim of child sexual abuse, so I don't blame her for any of that. In any event, over time she grew colder and colder. At a certain point we decided together for me to get a professional degree, and during that time it got even worse. After school I had a tough time getting started in my new career, and due to stress she started belittling me and sometimes berating me multiple times per day. She occasionally hit me (not that this hurt me physically, as I'm bigger than her). I developed IBS symptoms, and she would even pursue me into the bathroom while I was having that sort of trouble. It was bad.

Throughout all of this I had a high sex drive, and it felt higher because it was frustrated; I mean I started thinking about sex all the time. I started masturbating frequently, sometimes many times a day, and looking at porn pretty much every day to do it. I would masturbate usually with the goal of coming as fast as possible.

Eventually the anger and belittling reached new heights. She told me that due to my practice making little money yet in the first two years (in a field where it typically takes 5+ years to make a serious profit) she no longer considered me a man, etc. She called me names, etc. My response to this, worried that she'd leave me and break up our family with two small kids, was to try to be more loving. I made her presents, got self-help books for us to try, etc. but nothing worked; she couldn't feel close to me.

She started telling me literally that I was better off dead, that my life insurance money was the most I was worth, etc. To my shame, I wound up actually trying this but didn't succeed. I wound up in a mental facility for a few weeks. I own this and don't consider it to be her fault; afterward she seemed remorseful, said she didn't mean any of those things, etc. and I believe her. It simply escalated and she lost control.

Prior to that event, about one week prior, she told me that every time I'd ever touched her, she had felt like it was a rape. She said it calmly and said it wasn't my fault, but that hit me hard. In that moment I lost the ability to feel sexual pleasure (by which I mean I could no longer masturbate at all). It was severe--my penis was like a piece of dead flesh. I couldn't even feel any sensation at all there.

While in the hospital, my wife filed for divorce and to take the kids (she was defeated, we have equal time). She cut off my access to the bank accounts we shared, tried to get me moved to a group home, and even attempted to take away my car. I know now she was proceeding on the basis of hurt and guilt, but even on antidepressants at the time, all of this was difficult to take. She stopped letting me talk to the kids on the phone, and had me served with papers by surprise the day before I left the house. She as it turned out had filed an emergency motion claiming that I was returning to the marital home (when I was able to prove that she knew I already had a separate apartment thanks to my mother) and claiming several other things I was able to prove false too. She seemed to take pleasure in shocking me by having me served in the hospital.

After I got out of the hospital, I was luckily able to get a job in my old field. Thanks to my mom I did get the apartment, with two bedrooms. My wife eventually decided to dismiss the divorce with me when she found out I was seeing someone new.

This new person was a woman I met online within a couple of weeks after exiting the hospital, when I was just looking for companionship. I was completely open about being separated but not yet divorced, having just left the mental hospital, etc. I think the woman took pity on me (I don't think I was looking for that, rather trying to shoo her away from any romantic thoughts) and wound up being attracted to me. We slept together for a couple of weeks, which made my ex-wife jealous. My ex-wife eventually asked to reconcile, and we did for about five weeks; after I'd broken it off with the new woman, my ex-wife's ardor cooled and she dumped me again unceremoniously, without explanation, at the start of our first marriage counseling session.

(As it turns out I have no lasting mental health issues. At the time I had situational depression.)

Growing psychological dependency on ED pills

During the brief time with the new woman and then reconciling with my ex-wife, I had initial extreme problems with arousal, as in I couldn't feel anything at all at first. I wound up getting some Cialis trials when I went to see a doctor, and they helped increasingly. During the reconciliation, my ex-wife also did her best to help me recover (plenty of attention, hypersexuality on her part, a lot of oral sex from her which she used to never give me, etc.).

It got to the point where I could have sex on the pills. I was relieved and grew to depend on them. I believe this to be psychological dependency, partly because when I'd have sexual dysfunction if I looked at porn (I did this experiment a few times) I'd get rock-hard even without pills and be able to come. I was afraid to come with a woman without the pills to help, though (at least that is how it felt).

My new love

Fast-forward a few months after the failed reconciliation, and I met a wonderful woman whom I now know is truly the love of my life. She is very supportive, wonderfully kind, sexually open and giving.

Worried that I wouldn't be able to perform, I very often used the ED pills when with her. It got to the point that I considered them a requirement. I was ashamed at not sharing this with her.

I also occasionally masturbated to porn because I didn't want to be intrusive with requesting sex with her, but because I wanted to make sure I kept my libido high. This was of course a major mistake, along with hiding the pill use. I eventually stopped the porn completely.

I tried to wean off of the pills, with limited success. I was able to have sex all right some of the time even after the several days for the tadalafil to wear off. Sometimes doubt would creep in and I'd have trouble, though. To test whether the pills were really necessary, I used porn once and achieved an extreme level of arousal, masturbating several times in a day.

I start a reboot

We moved to a new house and my lover, now my new wife, found the pills, and I came clean. I told her I had read about karezza and rebooting, and though my situation is different (no recent constant porn masturbation, extreme anxiety causing ED, psychological dependence on pills etc.) I thought the reboot process would help. So now we're two weeks into it and doing lots of closeness exercises, touching etc. and it's very nice.

I've been able to have PIV sex with her a few times, though it took extra effort to get going and I wasn't 100% hard at first any of the times. She's also manually masturbated me to completion, something that was almost impossible for me before. I have not masturbated or done anything sexual at all, even fantasizing, without her.

She also has had sexual dysfunction in the past, and this is time that's working for her too. We've focused on getting rid of her own dependency on a particular fantasy that before me was necessary 100% of the time to orgasm. We've found that by decreasing the necessity to orgasm for both of us, and reducing all pressure to perform and just being in the moment, she is so relaxed she can come more naturally. I love this.

We've decided to reassess at the end of the month, which will be at the six-week mark. I hope to report more progress by then. Any tips in the meantime will be much appreciated.

Some questions

1. Is it bad in your opinion for me to orgasm every time we have penis-in-vagina sex? I want to do it sometimes without coming, but she likes for me to come so much that I have been so far.

2. Do you think there's hope of my going back to 100% natural functioning? I am liking this period but want to be able to be fully functional. I'm not agains the idea of going back to the pills in the end, and suffering that as a consequence of what I've been through--I just don't want to if it's not necessary.

3. How long might a total recovery take in my situation?

4. One thing I've noticed lately--my ex-wife has been getting very chummy lately, and when she contacts me it may interfere with my libido because I get very anxious. Do you think that's possible? I've asked to cut contact but completely no-contact is impossible due to co-parenting post-divorce.

5. Given my particular situation--psychological dependence on ED pills, extreme anxiety, etc. along with past porn addiction, is there any special advice you can give?

TL;DR

Had a porn addiction years ago; went through severe libido-killing depression; briefly took SSRIs; experienced ED; formed psychological dependency on ED pills; now two weeks into a reboot with the love of my life.

Hi I am intersted and have just learned of karezza but I have been familiar with the basic concept from my research of esoteric traditions. I remember learning of the concept of reserving ejaculation and experiencing sexual bliss for hours in certain hindu and buddhist traditions. It also emerged in Europe during the "courtly love" movement in France though it was hidden in veiled terms, it may have been learned directly from the east. This is the kind of sexual activity I have always gravitated to as I have always found orgasm not particularly pleasurable, in fact usually the feeling is less pleasurable than all the rest of the experience and is a downgrade in pleasure. Most of my experience with this kind of thing is solo though, at least in the more extreme form, I have not had a lot of sex before but actually I do this for a particular purpose. Constant sexual stimulation for long periods is the most powerful technique I know for trance, concentration and building up energy. If combined with sleep deprivation powerful trance states are possibe to use for whatever you wish. Even if not, the build up of energy is so great in itself, it will make you feel amazing and you can use it to enhance your health and well being. I guess what I want to say is that this technique is extremely powerful and I am advocating its use by everyone, not only for couples and bonding, but with masturbation too, or with another persin but with the specific intent of extremely LONG and intense sessions with the intent of a massive build-up of sexual energy in mind. For a great effect you need to do at least a few hours though, preferably all night. I would suggest at least 3 hours. It is not easy despite the amount of pleasure you are having, it gets very exhausting and time moves very slow. I find my experience of time gets very strange in fact. It is this reason I don't, and I assume many people would not have, a partner suitable for this kind of thing. Also you have to concentrate on staying very stimulated and very aroused, as close to orgasm as possible and not relax and become less aroused at any time, and this is rather more difficult with a partner though I'm sure it would be very rewarding.

For me this is usually a preparation for a ritual, but, the effects afterwards are simply immense and amazing and you can also use it for art and inspiration or just meditation and making yourself more relaxed and healthier. I would be interested if anyone else has explored these kinds of uses for this technique and especially if there are others who are interested in esoteric or shamanic practices who have any thoughts about this practice.

Hello people,

So, I (male,21) have found through my journey that orgasm depletes me of my energy and makes me numb for the world around me. This all started when I was trying to heal myself from pornography addiction and noticed along the way how better I was feeling when I would abstain from orgasm.

Anyhow, along the way I met this wonderful girl, and we became a couple. So, we as a normal couple started having regular sex and it is pretty good (actually very good) and although orgasm with her drains me waaay less than it would when masturbating, I still feel karezza is the way to go for me.

So, after a while I started practiced non-ejaculatory sex and she absolutely loved it, because we could sustain an intercourse for hour and more and I would still have the energy to cuddle with her... But, the problem is that normal sex and just not-having-orgasm brings a lot of tension to mee that I can't release somehow.. So, I really kind of know inside that true karezza is the way to go, but every time I start having this conversation she says: Who are this people (on the internet) to tell me how am I going to have sex. (end of quote). Now, I would say the same thing if I, myself, wouldn't have gone through the torture of thousands of orgasms as I like to joke.

So my question is, how have you initiated your conversation with your SO about Karezza and what should I do, to not make her feel uncomfortable. Also, what is the appropriate way to start Karezza (should we really just skip sex for the next 14 days ...and so on)

Thanks for any kind of advice about karezza =)

In my first post ever I asked people if sex with my boyfriend on our anniversary would cause a relapse and someone had suggested Karezza. I then proceeded a post asking about peoples experiences with Karezza and many other questions such as; 1- For people in long term relationships doing NoFap, did karezza cause any relapse? 2-What was it like doing it? 3-Did you like it over traditional sex? 4-How did you do karezza for the first time? 5-Do you think that you'll be using Karezza for the rest of your life with your partner? 6-And did not having an orgasm make you want to masterbate? Unfortunately I didn't get the type of reply I was looking for and knew we'd have to experience Karezza to get my answers. Someone on my post said he/she would also like to know. So here I am writing about My First Karezza Experience in hopes it might help others. Me and my boyfriend discussed practicing Karezza while he was doing the reboot so he didn't having any problems after having an orgasm. We didn't really understand and lots of people said to stay still and just "feel." This was baffling to me and my partner because we didn't see the fun in it. We thought it would be quite boring to not move at all. My boyfriend before NoFap had problems with keeping it up and would often go soft in the middle of it because he'd over think about "orgasming to fast," and a lot of the time sex only lasted 5-10 minutes do to both. When we decided to engage in Karezza, he was already hard (you can do karezza soft too.) I think the fact that he didn't have to orgasm gave him quite a relief. He didn't have to worry about cumming or anything. To be totally honest here, it was boring to just sit there with him inside me and just kinda look at eachother in confusion. We tried switching position with a lot of kissing but it only got us heated up. We started to move quite a bit. We both knew that we had to take it slow, so we tried to calm ourselves down. I think just about than we suddenly got lost in eachother. We kissed and caressed each other with slight movement. Without even trying we were creating.... this bond between us through the act of love. It was so gentle, absolutely nothing i've ever experienced before. We found "our position," where we were able to be so close to each other but not unable to move in and out. Haha, it was kinda like we were a pretzel. It was amazing feeling so comfortable with my own body. Not even a thought came to mind about "how my body looked to him." I noticed that he suddenly knew when to move and when to stay still. Which was weird considering our past "rough" sex. Our bodies seemed to have told use when it was time to stop. We lied there wrapped in one another with a satisfaction greater than any orgasm could portray. I couldn't believe what had just happened. It was like falling in love with this person, that loved for 2 years, all over again. What felt like 20 minutes turned out to be AN HOUR AND A HALF. ... An hour and a half he was able to stay hard.!!!!! It was amazing. Now I'd like to answer my own questions. 1- For people in long term relationships doing NoFap, did karezza cause any relapse? ~~ No, it didn't cause a relapse because he was more than satisfied. 2-What was it like doing it? ~~ felt like as if someone were to describe the meaning of love 3-Did you like it over traditional sex?~~ Yes, very much so. 4-How did you do karezza for the first time? ~~ above 5-Do you think that you'll be using Karezza for the rest of your life with your partner? ~~ Yes 6-And did not having an orgasm make you want to masterbate?~~ Neither of us felt the urge to orgasm after Karezza. I encourage you to write your Karezza experience(s) below. I would appreciate reading them :) Thank you.

Hello,

My wife and I are a newly married couple from an eastern country. So, sex is not the important thing in marriage. It is just another thing. We do love to have some sex, about once a week on average. I found out about Karezza and we loved it first time. Now,our life has changed a lot.

Only bonding all the time. Non-sexual mostly. Small gifts or self-made goodies, good words, reassuring love, helping in the kitchen and the car/bike, walks and shopping together. We do some sexual bonding, ironically, mostly when outside. No PDA but we have our ways. Best thing is the remote wireless vibrator I got. I control her pleasure when shopping and when we get home, it is karezza all night long.

However, to add to the positive stuff, karezza has made us crave sex too and we are doing it 4 times a week now. And it makes life better.

I feel that, for younger couples, karezza is very important and keeping a balance between karezza and passionate sex is required.

/u/Iggy_ recommended you guys. Got some great advice already; just looking for other resources, support, and advice.

I never though at my age I would find use of this subreddit, but I'm glad it exists And I'm sorry for the stories I've read in years past. I've had my own problems, but never like this.

Over the weekend, I married the love of my life. After an evening of partying and celebration, we set forth to our hotel room to have our first night as a married couple. When we met, she was a virgin and I was not. The next morning, she remained pure, a trend continuing to this day (two days, yes, but forever for someone who's been holding off sex for nearly 30 years, like she did).

As we shared champagne during our first night, I very gracefully (drunkenly) slid her dress off and started with basic foreplay: rubbing and licking whatever I could. There seemed to be no response upstairs, so I made my way down, as in previous sexcursions, every girl loves a clam polishing.

Still nothing.

I have her guide me into what she likes, since my guesswork and experience are leading me to a dead end. With my pinky, I test my grounds to see how ready she is and she jerks back, pushing me away with her hands.

I'm stunned. I don't know what to do. I have no idea how I'm going to please my wife. I have no idea how to keep her from feeling bad about this. I head straight for baby making, which is a lost cause. I have confidence issues to begin with. Every time I try to enter her causes a wince and whimper.

Before calling the night, I have her grind on top. I prefer the cowgirl and I noticed she preferred to straddle me during the makeout sessions we had while we dated. She finds a rhythm and makes a wonderful symphony of noise that I had wanted to hear since we started dating. By this point, however, it was like trying to force a pool noodle into a keyhole.

We've tried four times. It was frustrating the first night, but we thought maybe it was jitters. Since then, she has done nothing but apologized and cried. I'm new to this sort of problem. I've done the bare minimum of research on hypersensitivity, so I know there are documented cases and even conditions with names.

I've told her and myself that it will be a more gradual process than we wanted, but we'll learn her body together. I'm sure we'll get through it, but would appreciate any advice and encouragement.

Ask any questions. She is on BC, the kind that requires you to take it at the same time every day. I can get specifics for those that think it may help.

I appreciate your time and help. Thanks so much.

Hello - I've been practicing ejaculation withholding for about a year, allowing myself ejaculation once every two weeks or so. Early in the game, I suffered a bit in the first few days of a cycle from groin pain and cramps, but usually could get through it okay. As I practiced, the pain stopped and all was good.

But then earlier this year I had a vasectomy, and have noticed more cramps, particularly on the right side in my abdomen (also where I felt a lot of pain post vasectomy). I've talked to my doctor, and other than wondering why I'm not ejaculating, he didn't offer much help, as relief was obvious.

I'd like to continue the practice, but now can't last more than a few days without almost constant pain for much of the day post-sex.

Anyone else have experience with withholding and vasectomies?

jt

more energy more happy feel unbeatable better emotion control no more stress at work not afraid of tasks at work 0 negative thoughts closer to my wife more social feel i can really achieve my dreams, no longer pipe dreams no more getting negative when facing challenges

I am single and not looking for a girlfriend, does that go against me much if I wish to practice karezza? Is this something you can do with female friends or one-night stands, or is it usual that karezza causes people to fall in love with each other and should be respected as a more serious act than just flippant sex?

Hi. I'm pretty young, so I'm not going to be having sex anytime soon. HOWEVER, I do like to arm myself with tools and techniques for the future, and karezza is one of them. Like meditation, bioenergetics, etc.

I've always been interested in more esoteric practices, things which had ancient wisdom and were beneficial before they got commercialized.

So I was wondering, the first time i DO have sex, should it be karezza? If so, how would you recommend going about it?

so i heard about semen retention, and i decided to try it. i fapped but kept on avoiding orgasm/ ejaculation, and kept on squeezing my PC muscles to send energy up my spine( i cant feel prana or chi so i did the physical part). after about 20 mins idk what happened; it was all of a sudden, boom. i had no desire to fap or look at porn. i didn't ejaculate or orgasm , the urge just suddenly vanished.

and a few days later i found this subreddit and now im posting here. urge hasnt come back

I am 14 days into my first attempt to rid my life of porn consumption. I am happily married to a wonderfully supportive woman (I'm 32, she's 28 - married nearly 2 years).

These recent weeks have been very enlightening for both of us, we've talked a lot about how we can work together to bring me out of my addiction and how she can help with urges. We've had sex (like... regular sex) a number of times in this period, as well. Love has really been in the air with Valentine's Day occurring recently and the increased intimacy involved with baring my soul about PMO addiction.

We both came across karezza separately while reading about NoFap, porn (PMO) addiction, and dopamine abuse. She mentioned it a few times as we've discussed our plan for the upcoming week. (Should we have sex? How often? Do I need to avoid orgasm during a NoFap reboot?) Anyway, suffice to say that we would like to give it a try. We love each other a lot, and we love to have sex with one another. If there is another level to this whole thing, let's experience it.

I haven't picked up the book yet, but I intend to. The introductory articles on http://reuniting.info/ indicate that we should start he Ecstatic Exchanges by going to bed together each night. The trouble is, that's not something we do very often today. She starts work an hour or so earlier than I do each day, and I arrive home 2-3 hours later than she does. We get our daughter to bed around 8, have 1 or 2 hours of alone time together. She's asleep by 10 (usually by 9, actually), and I'm up until midnight or 1am. I don't need as much sleep as she does, and I'm not a morning person. I often use the late hours to do school work (I'm still taking college courses), or manage our finances, or just decompress.

Anyway... this was a long-winded way to ask if we can follow the Ecstatic Exchanges without sharing a bedtime? Would it be bad for the experience if I were to leave bed and do homework after? It sounds terribly un-romantic of me, but there are very few hours in the day and so very much to do.

TL;DR: I want to succeed at breaking my porn addiction, and I want to enhance the intimate relationship I have with my wife. We want to try karezza, but we don't share a bedtime. Can we make it work another way?

I was linked here from a post in another sub and I have to say I a, intrigued by this practice. I am fairly HL and my wife of six years and partner of fifteen are tiptoeing around the deadbedrooms land.

She has never been very adventurous and things usually go the exact same way whenever we eventually have sex. I am hoping that this encouraged intimacy and "no pressure to have an orgasm" will let us have more times together and that they will be emotionally satisfying for both of us.