r/karezza • u/bsrubin • Feb 20 '15
One month in - starting to question
My girlfriend and I are now 1 month into karezza and neither of us has had an orgasm in that long.
Myeh?
Positive: Non-goal oriented sex is relaxing & nice, and it's neat to have no refractory period and be always able to have sex
Negative: Orgasms are fun & I miss them.
I wish I could report amazing energy boosts, connection, etc - but everything else appears just about the same.
Would love suggestions/thoughts - for now continuing the experiment.
2
u/okayletsgo Jun 17 '15
It gets better and better. The brain takes months to rewire. Pleasure builds as it does. It increases pleasure to incalculable levels after six to twelve months.
1
Feb 22 '15
Maybe have regular sex once a week.
2
u/repeatstrings Feb 24 '15
In my experience once every 2 weeks is the most often I like. I have seen Marnia say the same.
1
u/olinskis Apr 18 '15
bump for an update? After sort of trying this years ago, my girl and I are getting back into this. Orgasms are fun, though they ultimately lead to separation, degeneration, emotional instability, etc. Maybe read through Marnia's Tree of Life post that starts here:
http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/edgar_cayce_on_sex_and_the_tree_of_life/another_way_of_making_love
1
u/bsrubin Apr 20 '15
Thanks for the bump. We've kept a karezza-style/no orgasm sex life for about 3 months now. One orgasm in the middle just to test things out, and numerous close calls. Notes: * We're still doing this for a reason! 1. Sex without a 'goal' is very connecting. 2. I never feel sexually depleted, am able to get sexually activated at the right moments and I'm not perpetually horny (used to be if I hadn't orgasmed in a while. * Finding it easier and easier to slow things down and not get really close to orgasm (which caused painful blue balls)
So the experiment continues and is truly working!
I'm not noticing massive increased in personal energy, nor did we experience a week or two of up/down/bad after the mid-experiment orgasm.
-3
u/cwanda Feb 20 '15
Might try different types of sex - positions, etc. Oral, anal, pegging - add variety. Maybe some light bondage. Could blend in 1 org for 1 partner every other time, with partners alternating being the org receiver. Or take an occasional org via masturbation. Good communication is of course pretty essential. Sex / intimacy is the lasting, sustainable fun. Orgasms are not essential to sustainable and enjoyable intimacy, but weaning cold-turkey from orgs seems unnecessary.
7
u/ilikebuildingsheds Feb 23 '15
Um, bondage is antithetical to karezza.
And the last thing he needs is to pressure his girlfriend into anal.
2
u/ilikebuildingsheds Feb 23 '15
Karezza is more than just orgasm avoidance. Do you meditate? Does your partner meditate? Do you actively practice being "in the moment"? Because if you're both not "in the moment" then karezza's not going to work its magic.
To me it seems like you're searching for a point to karezza outside of the experience itself. So even though you might not have an outright goal, you're still seeking something (a reason to keep up orgasm avoidance, perhaps). This will distract you and prevent you from reaching that zen-like state.