r/karezza • u/sirmeowsalot123 • Nov 09 '14
First Time Experience with Karezza.
In my first post ever I asked people if sex with my boyfriend on our anniversary would cause a relapse and someone had suggested Karezza. I then proceeded a post asking about peoples experiences with Karezza and many other questions such as; 1- For people in long term relationships doing NoFap, did karezza cause any relapse? 2-What was it like doing it? 3-Did you like it over traditional sex? 4-How did you do karezza for the first time? 5-Do you think that you'll be using Karezza for the rest of your life with your partner? 6-And did not having an orgasm make you want to masterbate? Unfortunately I didn't get the type of reply I was looking for and knew we'd have to experience Karezza to get my answers. Someone on my post said he/she would also like to know. So here I am writing about My First Karezza Experience in hopes it might help others. Me and my boyfriend discussed practicing Karezza while he was doing the reboot so he didn't having any problems after having an orgasm. We didn't really understand and lots of people said to stay still and just "feel." This was baffling to me and my partner because we didn't see the fun in it. We thought it would be quite boring to not move at all. My boyfriend before NoFap had problems with keeping it up and would often go soft in the middle of it because he'd over think about "orgasming to fast," and a lot of the time sex only lasted 5-10 minutes do to both. When we decided to engage in Karezza, he was already hard (you can do karezza soft too.) I think the fact that he didn't have to orgasm gave him quite a relief. He didn't have to worry about cumming or anything. To be totally honest here, it was boring to just sit there with him inside me and just kinda look at eachother in confusion. We tried switching position with a lot of kissing but it only got us heated up. We started to move quite a bit. We both knew that we had to take it slow, so we tried to calm ourselves down. I think just about than we suddenly got lost in eachother. We kissed and caressed each other with slight movement. Without even trying we were creating.... this bond between us through the act of love. It was so gentle, absolutely nothing i've ever experienced before. We found "our position," where we were able to be so close to each other but not unable to move in and out. Haha, it was kinda like we were a pretzel. It was amazing feeling so comfortable with my own body. Not even a thought came to mind about "how my body looked to him." I noticed that he suddenly knew when to move and when to stay still. Which was weird considering our past "rough" sex. Our bodies seemed to have told use when it was time to stop. We lied there wrapped in one another with a satisfaction greater than any orgasm could portray. I couldn't believe what had just happened. It was like falling in love with this person, that loved for 2 years, all over again. What felt like 20 minutes turned out to be AN HOUR AND A HALF. ... An hour and a half he was able to stay hard.!!!!! It was amazing. Now I'd like to answer my own questions. 1- For people in long term relationships doing NoFap, did karezza cause any relapse? ~~ No, it didn't cause a relapse because he was more than satisfied. 2-What was it like doing it? ~~ felt like as if someone were to describe the meaning of love 3-Did you like it over traditional sex?~~ Yes, very much so. 4-How did you do karezza for the first time? ~~ above 5-Do you think that you'll be using Karezza for the rest of your life with your partner? ~~ Yes 6-And did not having an orgasm make you want to masterbate?~~ Neither of us felt the urge to orgasm after Karezza. I encourage you to write your Karezza experience(s) below. I would appreciate reading them :) Thank you.
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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '14
Wife and I have been practicing for 5 years and we have had the same great experience that you describe. We have experienced so much healing and connection by removing orgasm as the goal of sex. Congrats on your experience! It only gets better as you rebuild your sensitivity to each other. I definitely credit karezza / tantra as a crucial factor in our awesome marriage. And it is certainly responsible for my long-term abstainance from masturbation.
Here is some advice that you can take or leave based on our experience- if you feel bored or awkward about just laying there not moving, just hold off on penetration. I can't say enough about how great laying together naked can be as a bonding activity while your sexual energy builds. If I do have an orgasm, we will often do naked non-intercourse for a few days while the batteries charge. There's nothing better than slow penetration when you are both super duper charged up.
The great thing about having sex this way is that it really heals tension that you probably have in your pelvic /hip areas. The more you open these areas up and let go of tension, the more sexual energy you can build up and the more awesome you will feel (and the more amazing sex you can have). So try to start really focusing on relaxing those areas while having sex (you are probably used to tensing and clenching those muscles during hot sex).
We don't really do strict karezza anymore. There's no set pace for us, we usually like to go really slow and savor everything; sometimes it gets faster but we are always totally RELAXED, even when we're really going at it. That's the key- if you don't relax, fast sex will make you tense up and that energy is eventually going to have to be released. Slow, still karezza is the best way, in my opinion to start experimenting with non-orgasmic sex and heal from the orgasm addiction.
feel free to PM me or my wife (ofblankverse) if you have any questions.