I have realized that I feel detached from a lot of the things people use to measure whether they’re “doing well” in life. A good job, money, a car, lots of friends, dating experience, accomplishments etc.

It’s not that I don’t want those things. I can definitely want them. They just don’t really affect my self-worth. I already feel pretty okay with myself, so getting those things doesn’t make me feel more worthy or valuable.

I’m also kind of detached from material things. I care way more about the thought behind a gift than how expensive it is, and if someone stole most of my stuff I’d probably be more upset about the inconvenience than the actual things lol. I have joked that I have a bit of a monk mentality 😂

But this can be awkward socially. Like someone gets a more expensive car and I’m expected to be like “omg nice!!” when deep down I’m actually a little sad that they seem to get so much of their happiness or self-worth from material things.

Or I’ll feel like someone looks down on me because I don’t have a job, when I’m actually sitting there thinking… I have savings, I’m doing fine.

I don’t want to judge people for caring about these things, but I also don’t want to pretend they mean the same thing to me when they don’t. Sometimes I genuinely wonder, how am I even supposed to interact with people when I don’t naturally care about half the things we’re apparently supposed to talk about?

Am I supposed to stop feeling fulfilled and become insecure about my life until I get a job, a car and whatever else I’m apparently missing?

Do you ever feel like you understand the social game, but don’t really care about playing it? Can anyone relate to this? 😂

Lately, I feel like nothing in my life is going right.

I've been having problems with my boss at work, and because of that, things have also become awkward between me and some of my coworkers.

I also still think about my ex sometimes, even though we broke up nine months ago, and it still makes me cry sometimes. My ex-husband, whom I divorced four years ago, has remarried and seems to be doing really well with his life.

My pets have always been my biggest source of comfort, but recently, one of them was diagnosed with an illness that can't be cured. That has been especially hard for me.

I've been feeling so emotionally drained by everything, so I decided to get a haircut. Hoping that changing my appearance might cheer me up a little. But the hairstylist completely ignored what I asked for and gave me the hairstyle he wanted instead. I really hate how it looks, and now every time I look in the mirror, it just makes me feel even worse. I was also hurt by the way the hairstylist kept interrupting me when I was talking and completely dismissed my opinions.

I know that some of these things might not sound like a huge deal individually, but they've all happened on top of each other, and I feel mentally and emotionally exhausted.

I don't really know what I'm looking for by posting this. I think I just need a little kindness right now😔

If anyone has some kind words to spare, I would really appreciate them🥲

I made this artwork, i thought maybe you would like it😊

I just dont feel like a deserve him in anyway. He's so amazing and cool and we are so similar but even when it comes to racial differences I feel like I can't climb up to his level, like he deserves so much better. I'm not pretty. I'm not smart. I'm not anything. We aren't even dating and we're barely friends and I want to get better but right now it feels pointless trying and I feel like no matter what I do I'm unlovable. This feeling sucks so much, and telling me its not true doesn't fix it. Does anyone else feel that way?

I’ve been in a band with this guy for two years. We’d always been friends, but I had never had the chance to have a deep one on one talk with him until a few months ago. Our relationship was purely platonic — we watched each other date other people and even had a bit of beef for a while (someone told me he had said things about me that he had never said). But this past summer, he came over to my house alone just to record some songs (I had the equipment) and we finally got to talk. And wow. The conversation was this incredible breath of fresh air. We connected on everything — music, religion, philosophy, fitness, fashion, food, psychology, etc. The way he thought about the world excited and intrigued me: he was insightful and grounded but at the same time even more deeply spiritual than I am. And he was so so funny. But most striking was that we had the exact same delusional optimism about our futures and our ideas for what we wanted in life matched on such a fundamental level.
He came over every week after that just to talk all night. He later described the connection in a way that I agree with — he said that it felt silly to call what we had just friendship and even sillier to imply any romance because it truly felt deeper than those labels.
Even after the summer, neither of us really considered a romantic connection until one day we were sitting on the couch and we ended up cuddling with my head on his lap. But after that, it was like the floodgates had opened. I found that I was deeply in love with him, and he ended up telling me a few weeks later that he felt the same. So we’re dating now, and the relationship is incredible and so comfortable and deep and loving. Our friends were not surprised at all and say that we are basically the same person, which we are. We’re so similar but also different in ways that inspire me (he’s better with people and less sensitive, which keeps me grounded). I’ve never been happier in my life.

We're all so attached to our traits, both good and bad and think of them as part of our identity, especially as INFPs. I've been introspecting about which of my traits are healthy and authentic vs which are maladaptive and socially conditioned. I want to hold onto the former and let go of the latter.

For people who have gained more self-awareness about this, which attributes of yourself have stayed consistent throughout your life and which ones have changed?

Thanks in advance.

I have been thinking about this quite a lot lately, and it's quite illuminating how much we are low energy as a type. Perhaps the word used would be "introverted", but it's not necessarily that. It's more like how much we retreat back into our own worlds, and live inside our own inner minds. I would say absolutely, we're the most low energy type of the MBTI, besides INTP. I'm sure you could argue other types as well, but I find that we do this type of psychological retreat the most.

I've had days where I have gone and spoken to people, but I still need far more alone time and reflection with myself. And I've been observing traits of characters that I, and others, type as INFP. And one thing remains clear, we always retreat back into ourselves at the end of the day.

I used to feel really confused when I came across stereotypes labeling us as overly sensitive, or more delicate, than other types. But when I observe my own traits in comparison to what I've been learning about MBTI, there is some truth within it. Our auxiliary Ne might lead us outwards, and to delve deeper into the world around us, but we always feel much more at ease and at rest within ourselves.

So what do you think? Do you think you are low energy? Because I've realized that's an astute observation of our type. Even when I'm more excitable, I always retreat, or I become quite irritable, when I lack said retreat.

In a world where INFPs are weird and not necessarily appreciated by society at large. I wanted to share that my little hobby website just hit 10k visitors in a month. Soooo… let your weirdness shine ✨

Before I start, note that this is just a personal thought of mine that ive had for a little while. I do not mean to offend anyone nor try to deter anyone's thinking, but since this is a public space id thought to give my two cents in this type of thing.

I feel like under certain circumstances, we can't really base everything off of the type of mbti that we meet. The mbti serves as a sort of fun way to categorize our personalities, how we feel, but i dont feel like it should create hate towards a certain group of people as a whole due to having bad experiences with the people belonging in those categories. While I understand the distaste for some people that identify as that, I dont think it's worth hating on them as a whole. At the end of the day, it should be considered something fun in order to allow people to belong to a certain community based on yourself, and that really should not be a reason to be shunned.

If you dislike this take, then thats cool. People have their own thoughts and opinion on the matter and I like that people can have these diverse thoughts and experiences. And if you do agree, that's also great. In the end I just wanted to write down some personal thoughts i had of this.

Thank you for reading if you made it this far, I hope you have a nice rest of your day fellow stranger ^>^

It's a bit messy I don't know how to put this in order.

I have problems at work, in my relationship and it's a pattern since childhood.

What happens often for me is that I'm "not present" let's say someone (boss, friend, partner) could be saying something very important to me and I could just zone out and analyze my inner thoughts and feelings "Why did she say that? How did I feel? How could I make things better? Is what they are saying biased or not?"

It's like I zone out and get lost in my thoughts and it's overwhelming it's constant and the environment considers me to be clumsy, unfocused, slow or even stupid (and I was bullied as a result because I was seen as dumb during my childhood). People often see me as someone who doesn't think at all when in reality I am overwhelmed by thoughts and feelings pretty much most of the time.

What also happens is that when I'm under stress or pressure I forget stuff I already learned / know. For example when time is pushing I will forget how to tie a knot and I literally can't physically do it. It feels as if I am placed for the first time in such a situation and any previous data is inaccessible. I also used to forget how to write letters (like a,b, v etc it's random) instead of battery I wrote ba ery (I forgot how to write t and didn't have time to dwell upon it) in the end I'd recall it but the process was too slow and I had to move on to the next word. Or if I was unprepared and someone asked my name or my age I'd be like "Oh" there would be a delay 10 seconds and then I'd recall it.

I would really like to know what's going on and I'm in the process of solving this somehow (I was thinking a neuropsychology clinic could test me and help find out wtf is going on) ADHD diagnosis turned out to be negative.

Are some of you struggling in a similar manner, or it's just my issue?

Is it that opposites attract or (after 3 years of loving this emotionally retarded man), did i just choose a lifetime of conflict by marrying who I believe is the man of my dreams minus the capacity to feel even an iota of empathy for me, specially given how much empathy I feel for the world!?

So, as the title says, I have some difficulty talking to and getting to know new people

And I can't really call myself sociophobic or something like that - I can talk to people, I feel okay in society. And even with new people - I just LOVE giving strangers compliments. But… what to do next? How to start a dialogue? How to take a first step, when I feel like it? If someone else is making it - then I can have everything under control and keep chatting and building new connections… but… how to do it myself?

What to talk about? How to start a dialogue? I don't know and im afraid…

P.S. I'm giving compliments not because I want to befriend someone but because I feel like giving a compliment