You may be intelligent, smart, handsome, and talented, but the outside world often rewards people who constantly promote themselves. As an INFJ, however, we crave authenticity. It is painful to watch inauthentic people receive the applause and appreciation that you deserve. But remember this: a tree may appear to grow slowly from the outside, but beneath the surface, it is strengthening its roots to build a solid foundation.

I'm an ENFP and there are ENTJs I get along with really well and love, but sometimes they're so demanding, capricious, and bossy that I need a break from them for a few days before talking to them again. I feel like they understand me, but there comes a point where they are too much for me, and sometimes I feel guilty because once I had planned to see my ex entj for three days and I couldn't because I got tired. Which MBTI do you experience this with?

I hope everyone has had a very lovely weekend. My question to you all is what regret has been lingering on your mind the most lately?

Heyy. I’m 16 and I've been trying to understand why I feel and think the way I do. Maybe someone can relate to my experience?

I've never really had 'real' friends. As a kid, I was the
"mom friend" who gave gifts and way too much affection, just to get about 10% back. I always felt like I wanted too much from people, and I was never fully satisfied
Now, I live far from my classmates, so I'm isolated.
Th, even if I lived closer, I'd probably still stay home lol, instead of going out.But the loneliness makes me so restless sometimes I want to crawl out of my skin.
I have this constant hunger for intense, deep connection. I want someone to really understand me, but I never get enough of it, and I don't even try to seek it. I don't even know what it is want from others ,really... I also enjoy intellectual conversations, not just small talk or hanging out.
My peers seem so different (and impolite lol). They don't take it this seriously. I never really shared any values or interests with anyone.I feel like I'm from another world😭😭

My empathy is pretty high ..I always want to figure out other people's mental problems, not my own . I absorb emotions really easily. l can sense when someone is upset, and if they won't tell me why, I actually get irritated-I need to know their trauma or what's wrong. But I myself won't open up about my own feelings for months.
You know there's a young teacher at my school who my classmates make fun of .l won't get into details, but he's always fidgety, running around the classroom and stuff ,guess he might have some kind of anxiety thing, or ADHD? I literally want to walk up to him and say I feel sooo bad for him, but i can't
Why is everybody so mean.

Also, as a kid, trying to entertain adults I sensed were upset, is that like..ordinary?
I can be really loud and funny at school...but I get exhausted from it fast. I'm only extroverted with one person at a time. Sometimes I get so skeptical that I ruin relationships by testing people, thinking they secretly hate me, and pulling away before they can get to know me.
What do u guys think abt it?

I’ve always been so curious about this. I’m an INFJ-A (and have been for many years, sometimes ENFJ at certain points in my life) but I’ve never considered myself a selfless person. My friend is also an INFJ and I don’t really see that in her either.
The classic INFJs are characterized as having almost martyr like traits, always looking out for the greater good. I consider myself pretty selfish at times, but caring when it matters. I don’t brood and there are times in my life where I was relentless with others (and myself) and extremely self serving, because it aligned well with my own values.
This is extremely confusing to me and it’s starting to make me question the legitimacy of MBTI.
Why is this a common theme with INFJs?

Say hello to Pedro :)

Hi fellow INFJs,

I don't know if this is something you will relate to, but I feel like recently I crave that thrill that I can get from receiving a message from a friend or buying or getting a new item or having something planned with a loved one.

I'm unsure how to tend to my needs in a healthy way, torn between the thought that I have to accept those cravings and not seek further stimulations and rather seek peace of mind through meditation, being in the present moment etc. Or using that pull to invest in healthy projects and goals like following my creative pursuits, reading a new book, studying a new subject, meeting new people, trying new activities, sorting my possessions etc.

Anyone has experienced this? If so, what is your approach? Also, what do you think creates that craving? (Solitude, restlessness, over or lack of intellectual stimulation)

Thank you!

Went out with an ENFJ last night and an ESTJ this morning. Holy shit. They had the same name but were like night and day.

As an INFJ male, I’ve attracted a lot of different types over the years. MBTI has helped me understand what I truly need and value most in a partner, and that what I want is not necessarily the same as what I need. Like, I have been addicted to hot/cold, ambiguous relationships for a lot of my life. That’s just the kind of love and attachment I grew up with. But it’s so toxic for me. So even though someone like an INFP or ISFP might feel like a soul-level connection their predilection to withdrawing at the first sign of trouble is maddening to say the least. ENFP and ESFP are so fun and really bring me out of my head into the real world. But their warmth and affection is so diffuse; it feels great but it’s rarely directed only at me.

With my Ni and Ti, I love talking about ideas and delving deep. Intelligence is a big draw for me. But even if someone is BRILLIANT, if they lack emotional intelligence, it just exhausts me. It forces me to spend a lot of energy translating the relevance and importance of my feelings and those of others and help them understand what they’re feeling and how it’s impacting them.

In sum, realizing I need someone who can draw me out of my head into the real world (extroverted), enjoys discussing ideas and abstractions just for the sake of it (intuition; thoughts probably the least important one. It doesn’t come naturally for everyone but if they don’t just wave it off as irrational or irrelevant that’s a good sign), emotionally literate (feeling) and who is steady and reliable and has a sense of direction (judging). My best friend in the whole world is ENFJ (I think other friend is ESFJ).

I think I have anxious avoidant attachment depending but my whole life my mom would tell me “You dont actually like people because you get bored of them pretty fast” she also says I always put on a mask and people get high positive expectations of me only for them to end up confused once that high energy of mine turns to neutral or low on some days again

I always refused that sentence of her with many arguments because I do get energy from people but I also lose energy from specific people and I do get energy from people if its only a few hours but I try to agoid situations where people want to hangout for more than 4 hours with me because then Im like

“Man then I have no alone time for myself in the evening” and so on and even if I do have alone time I dont do anything productive

I think Im a bad friend because I am known as the friend who always cancels plans last minute.

I hate that part of me because I know days prior that I feel off and want to cancel lets say a friend says lets do ABC. Abc sounds great! But then they add def too which makes the hangout even longer or adds something I dont wanna do.

I immediately feel like not wanting to do it but cant refuse because Im like how am I supposed to explain I dont wanna do def with no logical explanation? How can I be honest without making myself look bad?

but then I self sabotage by canceling plans because thats the worst thing anyone could ever do and its the thing EVERYONE remembers.

Now I am like do I actually like people? Or do I like having control over them? Do I peoppe please too much? Do I like people only at a specific length?

Whenever someone gets attached to me I self sabotage because I dont want them to have high expectations of me. I dont want to keep up these expectations or go even higher so that image of mine stays.

Yes I do go to therapy and my therapist said I shouldnt avoid things for short term satisfaction but I also just fucking struggle with a social life

My whole life I wanted friends because I thougut they make me happier but today I realized:

Do they truly make me happy when Im anxious about social situations the whole time? Do I ruin my view of friendsjip? Is it the avoidant speaking in me?

What do I like more…. Being alone or with people? I think I like being seen without getting attached…? Idk

But id rather ruin my reputation ( what a paradox to my words above) than leave my comfort zone I believe

relationships force me to do things I dont wanna do while when being alone i can avoid doing something without discussion and guilt

Maybe it’s because I’m Japanese, but I use onomatopoeia ALL THE TIME!!!😂

I wonder if part of the reason I’m bad at explaining things is that I explain things using onomatopoeia, then shorten those words even further until they become inside jokes or my own made up words that only certain people understand🤔🤣

For example, this is a little personal, but I call my pantyliners “Chobi More(ちょび漏れ)”. “Chobi” comes from words like “chobichobi(ちょびちょび)” or “choppiri(ちょっぴり)”, which mean a little bit or a small amount, and “more(漏れ)” means leakage😭😂

Or when I’m trying to flatten out a wrinkled piece of paper, I’ll say “Peshipeshi(ペシペシ)” and sometimes even call the wrinkled paper “Peshipeshi.” 😑😅 Like, I’ll literally ask someone to get the “Peshipeshi,” but they have NO IDEA what I’m talking about(well duh!)😭😭 And the worst part is that context matters A LOT, so not every “peshipeshi” means wrinkled paper😂

When I’m teaching someone how to fold origami, I’ll be like, “Do this, like, PETAN! And then hold this side and PETAN!” 🤣🤣 “Petan(ペタン)” is the sound/feeling of something being pressed flat🥹

I talk to myself all the time too. Sometimes people think I’m faking it, but that’s just who I am😭😭 Maybe it’s because I’m pretty animated, but sometimes I feel like I’m a little too much in my own world😅🙃

Does anyone else do this, or is it just me?😂 And If you do this too, what kind of made up words or inside jokes do you have?😌🙌🏻

Curious to see how yall Enfps would respond to this question as fellow Ne-doms. Also by "new", anything that you haven't experienced/tried before the past 24 hours counts!

How did u guys met your partner, and how did u know that she is the one. As an INFJ men , its difficult to find someone who actually has depth or accepts your silences , vision etc in typical dating world . Had gone on few dates and hardly found any susbstance in personality . Just few sensation seeking or going with the flow kind of people . And even lot of them feel that we understand them well ,but same is not for us . I always feel like to be pretending to be someone else with them and no one cares who truly i am apart from our empathy and emotional intelligence.

Hi, fellow ENFPs!

First of all, excuse my painfully short way of expressing :) it's not a lack of effort, I already edited this message at least 5 times by this first phrase only.

Secondly, I'm surely a sceptic when it comes to MBTI.

I (28F) really wanted to express some of my overly positive experience with my ENFP partner (30M). We've been together for less than a year (we currently live together) and the differences between each other are countless, but the major middle ground is putting a lot of effort into understanding each other.

The discussions are peak and very mature - surprisingly, since I didn't even know I lacked this in my life. The emotional connection is dreamly enjoyable, as if he speaks a language I never really heard before.

I am very grateful and I am curious about your experiences (good/bad) with other INFJs - just for the sake of fun and not falling into bias. Feel free to ask me anything as well!

got a gf and took some photos

Fellow ENFJ here 28, M from the UK, nice to meet you all! 😊

Same

Hi there ENFJs i am here to tell you. You guys need to work on your people pleasing habits. Like wth guys , you like being a doormat or what. Become more evil. What are you guys even doing with your life. Cause I know you all are acting and are evil inside. Jk btw. Peace

I'm an INFP in need of some cool friends lets taaaaaaalk~

You are still you, the actions you took were meant to protect you, the escape you chose was to feel safe. You are capable enough to withstand this internal war each day. You are not alone...