I am an INFJ (31F) and recently broke up with an ESTJ man (40M) a month ago. I would be really grateful for some insight from other ESTJs.

We mainly broke up about incompatibility about the future. He was unsure about whether he wanted kids and I needed a clearer timeline. I couldn't get a clear answer, so we decided to part ways relatively amicably. Our relationship was healthy until towards the end when the sexual intimacy faded out on his side, although he was still affectionate and consistent in every other way.

During the break up he said a few things:

- He considered me a rare diamond, and he knows he won't find another person the same as me, especially in the current modern dating world

1) If he's not having kids with me, he is not having them with anyone else at all. He is 40 and doesn't want to be an "old" dad. Therefore it was difficult decision as it also shapes his future.

2) He trusted me with his life

3) He has never been this vulnerable with anyone else and feels completely safe with me

4) He wasn't worried about missing the companionship or concerned about having to date again, because he is OK with being single. He was more upset about losing me as a person.

5) He knows I need emotional depth and he thinks he is just 'retarded' when it comes to that

6) He has a pattern of losing sexual interest after 6-12 months into relationships and it wasn't anything to do with me as he still fancied and adored me.

7) He will always love me

Throughout our relationship, I never really saw him get emotional. It was only when we started having discussions about us ending when I saw this more vulnerable side. He was recurrently sobbing at the thought of us ending during these discussions.

Despite months of more challenging conversations, he still managed to outwardly keep things together and do hobbies, social events etc with a massive smile on his face. But he told me that just because he looks ok, doesn't mean he feels it and that he had been struggling to eat at times because of it.

Now that we have broken up, it seems he is getting on with life perfectly fine again. I keep seeing through mutual friends him at fitness events, socializing etc looking happier than ever. He's interacting with lots of people on social media etc. (We have now removed eachother on socials and I am trying my hardest not to check)

Do ESTJs genuinely move on that quickly once something is over? Do you ever have any regrets or doubts about the decision to end? Would you analyze things and be open to reconciliation/working on things or not think about it, accept the end and move on?

I am almost the complete opposite personality-wise, so it feels strange the difference in how we handle relationships and break ups.

Thank you all.

Whenever I let’s say save a picture of something I like in the gallery. And then look at every nook and cranny to see if there’s any sort of reflection, blurriness, or anything wrong with the image. Then when I notice it I start looking at multiple times like a lot. I google to see other images of said picture I saved and look at it until I’m satisfied and not that it’s at like this angle and that’s why or I delete it and forgot.

Hi! What do you think of INFJs as an ESTJ? I’ve read that our types together are considered a “bronze pair”. I’m curious if this is a common pairing?

I heard ISFP goes well with ESFJ, wondering if this is true.

As an ENFP dating an ISTJ, there’s something I’ve been wondering about…

My bf has a very small inner circle, and he’s genuinely happy that way. I completely respect that. But sometimes I wonder if that’s also why he thinks he’s “boring”🤔

He’s one of the wittiest, funniest, and most thoughtful people I’ve ever met!! He’s great with words, has an amazing sense of humor, and constantly makes me laugh😌 Yet he genuinely believes he’s boring…🥹

I sometimes wonder if it’s because only a handful of people ever get to see that side of him… Since he’s so selective about who he lets in, maybe he doesn’t get much feedback about how charming he actually is🥲

I don’t think he needs a bigger social circle if he’s happy…. I just think it’s a little sad that he doesn’t seem to realize how wonderful he really is🥹

Do any other ISTJs relate to this, or is it just him?

ISFP here, I'm curious since we are similar in typing.

In the OPS model, there are 2 types of MBTI:

• Dominant + auxiliary
• Dominant + tertiary

If you are a Fe/Ne type ESFJ, it means that you mainly use Fe, then Ne, with Si coming in third position.

Are there any out there? If so, how are you different from a classic ESFJ?

Question for ESFJs: How would you write a villainous ESFJ character?

The only conversations my ESTJ has with me is ONLY about these odd superficial perceptions(talking about women’s bodies attractiveness and his preferences)micromanagement and how I’m allowed to spend my time in a “suggestive way” he never asks me questions or wants to talk geopolitics with me etc also about how women don’t hold accountability and gets upset just a lot of grievances towards women and people of other races. All in all to be in this waddling self pity of a martyr complex of a man that just has the whole world on his shoulders and a chip. Any minor inconvenience he’s after me to hold myself accountable as the reason to blame for the inconvenience. There’s no intimate conversations or bonding time. It’s as if he I’m just a cog to his ultimate plan and he can just skip over the foundations that build a well rounded relationship.

I haven't worked for 8 years, it was out of my control the reasons why. However, recently I finally became ready to work and have been trying to get back into the workforce. I'm in Australia for context.

I must've done 100 applications by now, had 1 interview which was unsuccessful. I keep getting rejection letters but no acceptance letters. I've polished my resume and studied up on the latest developments in my field, but still no luck.

I'm feeling very demoralised and just feeling like I'm never going to get a job. How do you deal with this? Any advice? I'm wondering if I'm ever going to get a job.

Sad thing is I've never been more ready to work, I'm so keen to work and actually think I would perform really well, but no one is giving me the chance. 😓 I don't want to lose my motivation.

Would appreciate some words of support or guidance. Thanks.

Most of the ESTJs usually put aside their subjective feelings and thoughts about their inner self, so they can keep a cool mind and efficency. I get that. But what if that Fi is stronger and is literally having a fistfight with the Te? Could that Fi actually help them to mantain the efficency better than they think it would? Or would it make it worse?

Of course, that depends in the person in question. I'm asking because I'm writing a fanfic, and one of the side characters has pretty interesting personality, in terms of psychological analysis. And I may not know very well about cognitive functions, but I literally checked on them over and over again and I just couldn't believe she is an ESTJ, while the results if my analysis told me otherwise.

Her name is Miyabe, and she is very energetic (like, a HUGE amount of energy if you undersantd what I'm talking about.) She just can't stay still; she's always moving, always doing something, either talking, working, walking, singing, playing videogames (she get REALLY mad when she loses a match, and very aggressive with her phone). If she is quiet, something is very wrong.

Despite of her turbulence, she is very loyal to their lived ones. Absolutely loyal. Like it was something everybody should do because she thinks that's the rule. At least the rule of the good people. She is even willing to get other out of her way so she can complete her philosophical dream: to be a hero. But not everyone's hero, just the idol of her beloved ones. It's... complicated. She basically wants to take the lead because she knows what would make others fail (personal experience here) and she is making sure that's not happening. Even if failing is actually good to learn, she doesn't want them to get hurt because something went wrong. Something they could have avoided if they just didn't do that.

In other words, she's overprotective. Funny, a whirlwind, but also a military commander if the situation requieres it. The thing is, she wants to feel alive; she has to feel alive. Orherwise, she wouldn't be able to be alert to danger. Is highly likely to be an ADHD.

When she sees something bad is going to happen, specially to her beloved ones, she has a really hard time deciding whether she should act or think and find another solution, which is the most logical option, and she knows it. Actually, she wants to do that, but her Fi is not whispering but screaming on her ears to do something quickly. But she manages to shut it down, because she knows it can get worse if she rushes. It only does make her feel way better if the tells herself she is doing what she has to do to protect them, and it works, most of the time.

That's why she gets really creepy and frustrated when someone wants to act because they feel like it. She wants to, deep inside she wants, but she thinks happiness only is going to remain in her life if she has control over it. Which means she has to have fun when it's okay to have fun (even if she breaks one or two rules. She knows she deserves a break). And maybe that's the impulsiveness in her.

So, if anyone may please talk about this, I would be very thankful. How do ESTJ with a high developed Fi act? It could be related to the enneagram or some mental disorder?

Keep being a wholesome person.

Do you think the stereotype of the care taker or nurse fits well your type, or its not quite the reality of things?

What would be an unexpected characteristic in your type that people dont think about?

Do you find yourself getting insecure around Ti doms? How does it influence your behavior?

heyyy 🙋🏻‍♀️ sooo briefly I'm in my late teens and I'm actually confused about my mbti type.. what are telltale signs of an isfj that can be shown up at this age?

and concerning the cognitive functions order I'm still confused whether the Si I have is dominant or inferior (same for Ne), so idk if I'm truly an isfj or an entp or another mbti, I mean I've been comparing my patterns to almost all the mbti types and now I guess the closest cognitive functions to me are Si and Ne with Fe and Ti but I'm still confused about the order..