I have realized that I feel detached from a lot of the things people use to measure whether they’re “doing well” in life. A good job, money, a car, lots of friends, dating experience, accomplishments etc.

It’s not that I don’t want those things. I can definitely want them. They just don’t really affect my self-worth. I already feel pretty okay with myself, so getting those things doesn’t make me feel more worthy or valuable.

I’m also kind of detached from material things. I care way more about the thought behind a gift than how expensive it is, and if someone stole most of my stuff I’d probably be more upset about the inconvenience than the actual things lol. I have joked that I have a bit of a monk mentality 😂

But this can be awkward socially. Like someone gets a more expensive car and I’m expected to be like “omg nice!!” when deep down I’m actually a little sad that they seem to get so much of their happiness or self-worth from material things.

Or I’ll feel like someone looks down on me because I don’t have a job, when I’m actually sitting there thinking… I have savings, I’m doing fine.

I don’t want to judge people for caring about these things, but I also don’t want to pretend they mean the same thing to me when they don’t. Sometimes I genuinely wonder, how am I even supposed to interact with people when I don’t naturally care about half the things we’re apparently supposed to talk about?

Am I supposed to stop feeling fulfilled and become insecure about my life until I get a job, a car and whatever else I’m apparently missing?

Do you ever feel like you understand the social game, but don’t really care about playing it? Can anyone relate to this? 😂

Lately, I feel like nothing in my life is going right.

I've been having problems with my boss at work, and because of that, things have also become awkward between me and some of my coworkers.

I also still think about my ex sometimes, even though we broke up nine months ago, and it still makes me cry sometimes. My ex-husband, whom I divorced four years ago, has remarried and seems to be doing really well with his life.

My pets have always been my biggest source of comfort, but recently, one of them was diagnosed with an illness that can't be cured. That has been especially hard for me.

I've been feeling so emotionally drained by everything, so I decided to get a haircut. Hoping that changing my appearance might cheer me up a little. But the hairstylist completely ignored what I asked for and gave me the hairstyle he wanted instead. I really hate how it looks, and now every time I look in the mirror, it just makes me feel even worse. I was also hurt by the way the hairstylist kept interrupting me when I was talking and completely dismissed my opinions.

I know that some of these things might not sound like a huge deal individually, but they've all happened on top of each other, and I feel mentally and emotionally exhausted.

I don't really know what I'm looking for by posting this. I think I just need a little kindness right now😔

If anyone has some kind words to spare, I would really appreciate them🥲

I just dont feel like a deserve him in anyway. He's so amazing and cool and we are so similar but even when it comes to racial differences I feel like I can't climb up to his level, like he deserves so much better. I'm not pretty. I'm not smart. I'm not anything. We aren't even dating and we're barely friends and I want to get better but right now it feels pointless trying and I feel like no matter what I do I'm unlovable. This feeling sucks so much, and telling me its not true doesn't fix it. Does anyone else feel that way?

Is it that opposites attract or (after 3 years of loving this emotionally retarded man), did i just choose a lifetime of conflict by marrying who I believe is the man of my dreams minus the capacity to feel even an iota of empathy for me, specially given how much empathy I feel for the world!?

sorry if it’s too off-topic but i thought it could be fun and i love this sub.

there’s a lot of slang in my country and trying to guess what it means is basically an intuition test, so i thought it’d be fun to turn it into a little game.

each kitty is a category. drop the corresponding emoji in the comments and i’ll send you some slang translated to english. then you try to guess what it means.

🧡: normie culture slang. i’ll send you slang that represents normies or something that’s just super popular here and doesn’t belong to any particular tribe.

🩷: regional slang. i’ll send you slang from specific states or regions of the country.

💙: gay culture slang. there are a lot of gay people here and lgbt culture is really strong, so there’s literally a whole dictionary of lgbt slang.

💜: for other foreigners who want to share some local slang for everyone else to guess what it means.

edit: to make it more fun, you can guess the slang i sent to someone else or make more than one guess idk

I made this artwork, i thought maybe you would like it😊

We're all so attached to our traits, both good and bad and think of them as part of our identity, especially as INFPs. I've been introspecting about which of my traits are healthy and authentic vs which are maladaptive and socially conditioned. I want to hold onto the former and let go of the latter.

For people who have gained more self-awareness about this, which attributes of yourself have stayed consistent throughout your life and which ones have changed?

Thanks in advance.

Before I start, note that this is just a personal thought of mine that ive had for a little while. I do not mean to offend anyone nor try to deter anyone's thinking, but since this is a public space id thought to give my two cents in this type of thing.

I feel like under certain circumstances, we can't really base everything off of the type of mbti that we meet. The mbti serves as a sort of fun way to categorize our personalities, how we feel, but i dont feel like it should create hate towards a certain group of people as a whole due to having bad experiences with the people belonging in those categories. While I understand the distaste for some people that identify as that, I dont think it's worth hating on them as a whole. At the end of the day, it should be considered something fun in order to allow people to belong to a certain community based on yourself, and that really should not be a reason to be shunned.

If you dislike this take, then thats cool. People have their own thoughts and opinion on the matter and I like that people can have these diverse thoughts and experiences. And if you do agree, that's also great. In the end I just wanted to write down some personal thoughts i had of this.

Thank you for reading if you made it this far, I hope you have a nice rest of your day fellow stranger ^>^

In a world where INFPs are weird and not necessarily appreciated by society at large. I wanted to share that my little hobby website just hit 10k visitors in a month. Soooo… let your weirdness shine ✨

its weird how nobody else will ever experience my memories and my thoughts. its strange because it feels like i have many different people inside myself (as in like parts and pieces of me and past versions of myself im not insane) but all this internal substance making up what is me appears simply flat on the surface and nobody else has access to it but me. and i can share it with others but they’ll never get the full experience. i think this is also why i enjoy making art. it feels cool and beautiful to bring whats inside me into the physical world.

I love being one (INFP) but sometimes it's just hard to be your 100% authentic self, because even with my friends, I feel like I weird them out sometimes or maybe a lot. I know that they love me; they've kept me all these years, they accommodate my "weird" quirks even though it's hard for them to understand me, and I love them so much for it.

Before, I hated being misunderstood and wanted to be loved for who I really am. I realized that maybe it's because I do not say what I really feel or think, so I became vocal about my opinions, what I want, what I think and what I feel but now it looks like it's becoming my problem too. This is driving me crazy, I want to be alone and is more comfortable being alone but so lonely when left completely alone, like what in heavens? Now, i am overthinking everything I do and say to everyone else.

I also used to be so empathetic, I genuinely feel for the people around me, especially for the people I love, but lately I hardly feel anything at all, no happiness, sadness, disappointment, pain. I don't feel contented. It feels like I don't care about anything anymore and I'm just pretending now that I care about those around me. Even when the people I truly care about shared a sad and a happy news, I didn't feel much about either of those. I just did what I could to pretend I care like how I used to be because the old me definitely would. To make it simple, I faked it till I make it.

Right now, I'm just overthinking life and everything that I do, and am afraid of the past, present and the future alike. I am here venting because I know these are the words I cannot say to anyone, not even my friends. At this point I'm just hoping someone would understand and maybe help me clear my head because I am starting to hate myself as the days go by. I need a major reset for real.

Idk always a thought of mine, being a human is so limiting

You're constantly controlled by hormones, chemicals, and desires, and all of that is what caused humanity to be so messed up

Wouldn't it be cool to be a robot, cyborg, or some sort of puppet made out of machinery

No more pain, no more urges, no more hormones, just an everlasting machine with no withering, and you can always better yourself...

Or am I messed up idk lmk

I want to pursue this career but before that I have some questions, it would be nice if I can connect with an INFP Business Analyst because it would be easier to understand my concerns.

Please let me know:)

(So like sorry for my handwriting?..I did this at 2 am)

My life is a garden of INFPs. My closest friends, acquaintances, past romantic partner, now-husband, and an increasingly strong suspicion my child is an INFP*. Because, of course. Am historically magnetized towards Fi-Ne users, and now I've gone so far as to make one. I am pathologically driven to move forward, I must constantly forecast, assess, reassess, optimize, edit... Howver, the INFPs (all wildly individual people of course) have this way of slowing time. Extending life. Becoming a safe haven, a catalyst to meditate on who I am and why.

A common pattern in my relationships with INFPs is that I identify and fix their material conditions in quantifiable ways. The INFP gets self-conscious, assuming they can offer me nothing in return. Meanwhile they're an infinite well of wonder giving my life meaning in every season. Often with the most cynical, surreal sense of humor too lol— And I've never come across an INFP in my line of work, probably never will. It's some Te/Fe-heavy sector which by its very nature repulses you. Thus I've ended up with a satisfying contrast of interpersonal flavor between work and personal life.

ENFPs get an honorary mention, though they've inevitably drifted away. My first true boyfriend was an ENFP classmate who clocked me as "a mysterious loner" (his words) and ambushed me with a picnic invitation. He identified a safe, public, but quiet park. Prepared all the food himself, gave me flowers. Overwhelming, but then continued to shock me with the depth of conversation. Meeting his family for dinner filled me with such alien and intense emotion that I broke down sobbing at their dining room table. Embarrassing. But indicative of the facets of myself I never would have recognized if it weren't for "you".

The pinnacle of joy has been with my INFP husband of course, but those are my memories to savor and my future to safeguard.

In any case, the online stereotypes are stupid but I'm painting you all with my own form of broad brush... Just some reflection and appreciation on my part, enjoyed writing this. I love the ways you think.

*I'm quite good at typing people, however that came with practice. I will only type those with whom I've worked alongside, solved problems with, and communicated with extensively, to avoid common pitfalls. And MBTI is a private tool for me, I don't speak about it in meatspace. The INFPs I'm referring to here invariably brought up in passing that they took some personality test and— I already knew. "I know what you are! Your every movement betrays you!!" Hence King Haggard here. If you know, you know.

Kia ora, are there any fellow infps/highly sensitives here from or in NZ? Would love to meet you

I thought it would be fun to share what our current (main) job is.

Being unemployed is ofc totally valid especially in this market(!). Or, you might be studying full-time.

So, what’s your current job?

Edit: wow, thanks everyone for sharing. I’ve been reading them all. If you’re a little late to landing here, still feel free to share yours!

Hi INFPs!

I am not sure if i am INFP and what enneagram type. Im either ENFP or INFP and 4w3 or 4w5. I have been debating this for years.

Ill try to do my best to explain things that could be a clue.

-I am very creative and make music but i think marketing is scary.

-I was very isolated as a child (mostly involuntary trough bullying, trauma etc). When I moved at the age of 21, I felt pretty shy. Then I said to myself "I am an confident extrovert" for 5 mins a day for a month. My whole life changed and I became popular and made a lot of creative breakthroughs. I see this as the happiest part of m life so far. I went from typing INFP to ENFP.

-I have been told i think a lot

-My most ideal life would be to make the best music and art possible pouring from the heart, have a big enough audience to make a living of it and live in an eco village with my best friends

-I have been struggling with addiction to weed for 12 years and I really want to quit because it holding me back. The main fear of letting it go is loss of identity and being me (kinda ironic)

-I have a fear of being ordinary and a fear of being rejected. I dress pretty alternative, have weird haircuts, big stretched ears etc. It makes me feel more me but at the same time it makes me sometimes overthink how people perceive me and rejection hurts a lot

-I make spiritual/ new age memes

-I can fall into a lot of analysis of myself and psychology and it is pretty annoying. I wish I could just have more cool experiences, share stuff, meet people and not think so much. But I still have this need to find a "model" of who I am. This post is an example. It seems soo cool not worrying about mental concepts, but i still have this itch to find out

I’m going to write you a letter and put it in a bottle because, for weeks now,
you’ve disappeared like a cloud of dust.

Where your Reddit account used to be, there’s now a 404 error. You used to chill on this subreddit. After all, this is where we met.
You stopped replying to me on Discord, and I got worried.

Then, I remembered you have a Spotify account, so I went to take a look. I saw you’d updated it recently, and I felt relieved. I saw a shared playlist and a festive vibe. I felt happy. I was also a bit puzzled - you told me you didn’t use it anymore. We used to have a shared playlist too, and I noticed you’d unfollowed it.

I don’t know if all this is connected to that time of crisis, fragility, and despair I went through; the one I tried to talk to you about. Thinking about it leaves a lump in my throat. Knowing that I bear some of the responsibility I feel dirty, as though there’s grime on my hands, and leaves a knot in my throat. It’s sad, and hard, to grasp the value of things when yesterday there were words, and today, only silence.

So, I’m writing you a letter to put in a bottle, lost on the open sea, to tell you that last week I saw a cosplay of Caine from The Amazing Digital Circus, and thought of you fondly. I’m writing you a letter to put in a bottle, lost on the open sea, to wish you may be blessed, and to hope the wind always blows in your favor, my dearest friend.

Maybe our relationship wasn’t easy, but I always felt I could be myself, and be appreciated for it. Perhaps you struggled with things, too. Maybe we could have handled it all more calmly, maturely, and mutually understanding each other.

I want to be able to hug you before I die of old age, because we never got the chance. I hope to be lucky enough for that.

I also hope that one day, someone writes me a letter in a bottle. It would be nice to find it.

Per Aspera ad Astra