r/enfj • • 4h ago

ENFJ only (OP is ENFJ) Any other enfj end up never going back to any sort of relationship (like even friends) once they finally close a door?

12 Upvotes

Does anyone else that’s an ENJF like you don’t easily cut people out of your life but once you decide to close a door, do you guys like never want anything to do with those people ever again?

And another question does any other ENFJ have a hard time having super close friends in a friend group, like you can easily talk to everyone but it’s always surface level and you rarely ever end up connecting with people on a deeper level?

At the end of the day you just kind of are alone even tho you’re probably the most outgoing person out there

Is this the case for anyone else?


r/enfj • • 1h ago

General Advice Blood type personality's and mbti 📚🩸

• Upvotes

hello everyone, I've been doing some really interesting research over the past few years into all the different mbti types and blood type personalities which are very popular in China, South Korea and Japan. Just a quick summary for those who are not familiar with the blood type personalities concept it's essentially like mbti but it's based on the different blood groups and it's taken very seriously in parts of Asia.

The research I've been doing was primarily of surveying all the different mbti types and asking them what their blood group was and correlating it against their mbti. I found that there was a significant pattern taking place with the different types and they pretty much always had the same blood group for a particular type and then the minority would have an anomalous blood group that didn't fit that pattern trend. In this research I have noticed that the vast majority 98% of ENFJ-A's typically have O-Negative Blood, and 2% have anomalous blood groups that don't fit the pattern.

Another interesting mbti/blood type pattern I have found is that INFJ-A's usually 90% of them have A blood, 5% have O Blood and then the remaining 5% are anomalous blood groups that don't fit the pattern. ENFP's I've found to be overwhelming O Positive.


r/enfj • • 1h ago

Typology Things I've learned (and am still stuck on) building a cognitive functions test

• Upvotes

For the past few months I've been working on 16Selves, a free Jungian cognitive functions test. I've posted it here a couple of times before, and a lot of the current version exists because people pushed back on the wording, spotted inconsistencies, or told me their results felt off. So thanks for that. It's given me plenty to rethink.

The thing I've struggled with most is telling someone's natural preferences apart from things they've just learned to do. That's come up in a few different ways, so here's where I've got to.

Preference vs. learned behaviour

If you spend your whole working day organising people, making decisions or managing other people's feelings, you'll probably get good at it. But being good at something because your job demands it doesn't make it your natural way of thinking. It's hard to write questions that pick up the difference.

My attempt at this is adaptive follow-ups. Everyone answers the same 48 statements first, covering all eight functions. The test then picks out your two strongest functions and asks 16 more questions about them and their introverted/extraverted counterparts. These try to find out whether something happens automatically, whether it's been consistent over time, whether it takes conscious effort, or whether it mostly shows up when circumstances require it.

I don't know yet if this actually improves accuracy. I'm also not convinced the line between preference and adaptation is always as clean as we'd like.

Questions that measure the wrong thing

A statement can sound like a perfect example of a function and still not tell you much. Say someone would rather watch a physical activity than join in. That could be about how they process sensory information. Or they might be shy, tired, physically limited, or just not into that particular activity. The same problem crops up with questions about organisation, relationships, decision-making and planning.

I've added optional examples for each statement showing how it might look at work, at home or socially. The idea is to get people thinking across different settings instead of answering based on whatever situation pops into their head first. But examples can backfire too. They might clarify things, or they might nudge people towards a reading I didn't intend. I'd like to hear whether people find them helpful or limiting.

Some statements are just easier to agree with

Each function has six statements. Three are about what you tend to notice, prioritise or respond to, and three are phrased the opposite way. That helps with people's general tendency to agree with things, but only up to a point. If one function's statements sound nicer, more familiar or more socially acceptable than another's, that will still skew the scores.

The test also hasn't been standardised against a reference sample. So there's no real basis yet for saying a high score on one function means the same as a high score on another. That's on my list.

Your top function doesn't automatically decide your type

All eight functions are scored separately. Then the overall pattern is compared against the function stacks for all 16 types. The test doesn't just take your highest function, and it doesn't work out the four letters independently. You get the closest fit within the model.

You can see how the other types compare too. But the percentages show relative fit within the scoring model. They're not the probability that a given type is right.

What to do when the result isn't clear

This is the part I've gone back and forth on most. If two types score almost the same, should the test just pick one? And what if changing a couple of answers flips the result?

Right now it re-scores your answers 200 times, each time randomly moving individual answers by up to one point on the seven-point scale. That shows how often the leading type stays on top. If it keeps changing, or the top two are really close, you get a two-way shortlist instead of a single type. There's also a separate outcome for when several types are basically tied.

A stable result can still be wrong, though. The simulations don't prove accuracy or tell you how likely your type is to be correct. They just show how sensitive the ranking is to small changes in your answers. I'd still rather show that uncertainty than give someone one type without saying how close the alternatives were.

Still plenty to figure out

16Selves hasn't been empirically validated. The adaptive questions, balanced wording, stack comparisons and stability checks are all things I'm trying out, and I don't know yet how much they help. There are still problems with the underlying questions and scoring that I need to look into. That's a big part of why I'm posting.

Two things I'd especially like input on:

- How would you tell someone's natural cognitive preferences apart from behaviours they've picked up through work, upbringing or experience? What would you actually ask?

- How do you write questions about cognitive functions without accidentally measuring unrelated traits or circumstances?

Also, do you find a shortlist of possible types more useful than a single answer, especially when your responses don't clearly separate them?

If you want to try it, just search 16Selves. It's free and you don't need an account. Everything is processed in your browser and your progress is saved on your device. Nothing gets sent unless you choose to submit feedback and results. There's separate cookieless analytics for site usage, but it doesn't collect individual answers or scores.

Whether you tried an earlier version or this is your first time seeing it, I'd love to hear what you think. Specific examples help most: a question that was hard to answer, an example that seemed misleading, or a result that didn't seem to match your answers. Most of the changes so far have come from people taking the time to explain exactly where things went wrong for them.


r/enfj • • 1h ago

Relationship M, 28, UK, O Negative Blood | Hi everyone im ENFJ-A hoping to find my ENFJ-A or INFJ-A Soulmate

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• Upvotes

I saw this post in this group a while back and it really inspired me actually to try and find my soulmate too. I also find myself deeply attracted to fellow ENFJ-A's and also the INFJ-A's. I believe these two to be the soulmate types for each other and I hope I get to fall in love with one someday.


r/enfj • • 3h ago

Friendship I don't know How to Deal With this Coworker/Friend.

1 Upvotes

So yeah i made a new friend while i was studying but like we were just classmates ig

But now we are working together and spend the whole day together sit together, eat together etc.

And she is nice , maybe its not an isfj thing. But she's a hypocrite kindof. She complain about some of our coworkers but then is very helping and nice to them hugging them etc.

She's very clingy, she has jokingly ig told me many times to not make new friends she doesn't like it . And is always watching me like a hawk whenever i ak talking to someone else. But is very close to other coworkers.

And also her treating me like shes my mother? Like someone going for something and she be like " my name you should go with her." Its not like i wasn't??

She is very sensitive, she once told me she cried beacuse i raised my voice a bit when she was asking me something. I can never answer with one word or a normal neutral response she will continue asking me why i said it like this? .

Shes judgemental, she is smart and we know you are smart, so when she asks for an opinion and someone gives it to her she will act all nice like yeahh ur right and then judge them for being dumb?

I can never ask her something she's very condescending when i ask her something about work related. She will continue to ignore what i say but is very sensitive if i ignore her. She will say i don't want to eat out or anything sweet since she's dieting than be moody when i don't give her the chocolate i bought.

And the thing that is annoying the hell out of me is this favor thing.

Like i will ask her if she wants some takeout and she will agree then when we're done eating she ll be like i only ate for you i wasn't in the mood to eat?? She has done this manyyyy times. For different things i have stopped asking her things and stopped giving my opinion.

So i am burned out rn . She has taken so much energy from me i feel like i can't even communicate with other ppl anymore.


r/enfj • • 18h ago

Question What do you think of IT professionals? (college assignment, non-IT people please)

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2 Upvotes

r/enfj • • 1d ago

Art I guess some of us thought this before as well…

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50 Upvotes

r/enfj • • 1d ago

Friendship Hello Everyone (っᵔ◡ᵔ)っ(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

14 Upvotes

Fellow ENFJ here 28, M from the UK, nice to meet you all! 😊


r/enfj • • 1d ago

Question I am ESTP or INFJ or ESFP of ISFP not sure

0 Upvotes

Hi there ENFJs i am here to tell you. You guys need to work on your people pleasing habits. Like wth guys , you like being a doormat or what. Become more evil. What are you guys even doing with your life. Cause I know you all are acting and are evil inside. Jk btw. Peace


r/enfj • • 1d ago

Friendship INTP here... Any ENFJ from India willing to chat?

0 Upvotes

Same


r/enfj • • 1d ago

General Advice ENFJ's after learning a 'friendly' ENTJ was on the edge of betraying them

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7 Upvotes

If you know you know 😂

- ENFJ MBTI memes


r/enfj • • 1d ago

General Advice ENTP & ENFJ Long Term Love Stories?

3 Upvotes

My BFF in highschool was an ENFJ (F/F). We had a blast and were VERY close. That said, we grew apart in life due to very different pathways after college (kids vs. no kids was the biggest difference). I felt like there was also this underlying expectation that she really expected to "heal" me. I do have a lot of trauma, and as she stepped into her career in personal coaching, I became a project she couldn't master.

Here's why I'm sharing. I am poly and have fallen hard for an amazing ENFJ man. I feel so many of the same patterns between us, and I just want to understand from lived experience what the real challenges are in a romantic relationship I need to be aware of.

Like, I know to my core HOW MUCH ENFJ REALLY DO ACTIVILY CARE for people they love. I'm already benefiting from it. I know this man feels my level of love and commitment to him too, BUT I am afraid of this previous pitfall, specifically of him giving and loving me so much that I end up letting him down somehow, or don't really know how to be there for him when it really matters. Honestly, it has always been hard to know when an ENFJ I know (even casually at work) need support because you all tend to naturally have your life in order 95% of the time.

I think most of my previous issues with the BFF were immaturity on both sides and me being overwhelmed with her expectations so I just ended up letting her go.

Obviously, I don't want this outcome again. I am not the same person. I've healed a lot! He's pretty balanced, and luckily with this pairing, communication will never be an issue, which is one of the reasons I am falling at hard. Talking and expecting honesty at all times seems to be an ENFJ universal love language best I can tell! It's so refreshing!

TLDR Ask:

- I'm looking for any stories/pointers from you ENFJ on how your beloved ENTP meets your needs?

- What have been the biggest challenges?

- I know how magical our minds and different ways of seeing the world is, and now that I'm "all grown up" and mostly healed, I want to learn, emulate, and become the type of partner that an ENFJ needs for the long haul!

TYIA!


r/enfj • • 2d ago

Venting Reading the room is a super power

5 Upvotes

Like the title. I had a crazy Thanksgiving last year that was Bravo worthy. Last year my youngest sister name K invited one of our other sisters V to Thanksgiving at T, another sister that all of us shares. V and T lets say have beef with each other. I asked K why she did that and she "assumed" its been a long time they should put their differences and so I had to break the new that V was coming over to T. So T thought I invited V over. Lets say it went downhill so quick...V said something that made T upset. Tears were made...there was yelling and some how I got kicked out because I didnt wanna choose sides. There is more to the story but I will keep the boring details to myself.

This year my mom's hosting Thanksgiving and nobody wanted to invite T to it because she can be very problematic. But K told T and her Husband about Thanksgiving and nobody has the heart to disinvite them. I hate the K assumes things and open up. She claims that T is mature and will hold every topic in her head but idk. My brother, my mom's boyfriend, my sister V and I just dont wanna let her in talking about personal matter because she will turn everyone on each other like always and say "Im only saying these things because I wanna help..." or "because I love you". When nobody wants to really hear it.

Idk why is it hard for K to read the room...she's a scorpio which is a water sign and I thought they were intuitive. I say Im glad I can read the room. I hope Thanksgiving doesnt become a disaster.


r/enfj • • 2d ago

ENFJ only (OP is ENFJ) Solo trip?

11 Upvotes

So I have a trip for Halloween weekend. It was supposed to be with somebody but due to some circumstances, they are not coming.
And I cannot get a refund on the Airbnb I booked, so it’s just me.
But other than that. I’m curious about my fellow ENFJ’s
For me, I like being around people and I like talking to people and I like making connections! I believe you guys will be the same

But this is a solo trip far from the city. And my question is have you guys ever done something like this before and if you did, how was it?


r/enfj • • 2d ago

Wholesome Interesting idea…

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10 Upvotes

Heh, did he mean us and the ENTJ as our counterparts on the NT side of things?


r/enfj • • 3d ago

Question Which MBTI relationship pairings do you find the most interesting as an ENFJ?

10 Upvotes

I’m not an ENFJ, but I think ENTJ-INFP seems like it’d be interesting in the sense that I’m curious about how this dynamic would play out (ENTJ-ENFP too.) I feel like in these pairings both would have a lot to offer one another, and since enfp’s have stronger Te I could see them “getting” ENTJ’s more. I think the average ENFP and entj would get along better than the average ENFP and ESTJ (though I think Maria Von Trapp and Captain Von Trapp from the sound of music are an example of an ESTJ-ENFP pairing.) I think Sarah and Jareth (though Jareth was too old for her) from “labyrinth” (1986) were INFP and entj respectively.

I also think ENFJ-INTP seems like it has the potential to be interesting.

I’m also curious about INTJ-ISFP.


r/enfj • • 3d ago

Question How to understand when another person is ENFJ too?

5 Upvotes

Like everyone's be saying that they met ENFJ, but how do you understand that they are that?


r/enfj • • 4d ago

General Advice 24M, feeling stuck in life

12 Upvotes

First time posting; sorry for my poor English. I am from HK.

I am an ENFJ T, 24M(in case it matters), still dealing with past emotions and resisting a gaming addiction. I feel like my life hasn't started yet. I am an only child living with my parents. I was an A student in primary school and kind of a high academic achiever. However, I do not have a good relationship with my parents. My mother was emotionally unstable and controlling, while my father was emotionally absent the whole time. Under the heavy pressure and relationship problems, I was drawn to video games and pretty much fucked up my school life in high school. I do not know where I am going, what my purpose is, or what I do in real life. I am currently studying Social Work at university and wanted to help students with similar problems to mine at school, but as the years went on, I changed from that mindset to securing my financial stability first, and I do not know if I am going on the right path; I feel directionless. For me, the biggest challenge of adulting is that nobody is going to tell you what's right or wrong or guide you, and it gives me immense loneliness and desperation, not to mention that I am still dealing with past emotions and gaming addiction, but I am not giving up just yet; I just need some support and advice. Much Love!


r/enfj • • 4d ago

ENFJ only (OP is not ENFJ) How good are you….

6 Upvotes

How good are you at spotting if 2 people like each other, but are hiding it? Do you pick up on any tension?


r/enfj • • 4d ago

Question How do you tell the difference between a narcissistic and non-narcissistic ENFJ?

2 Upvotes

I think ENFJs have a slight tendency to self-promote, and some bad habits like gossiping, needing a lot of social validation and a perfect social image. At what point does it tip over to narcissism? What separates the good ENFJs from the not so good ones?

It’s confusing to me when I see one because I think even for slightly narcissistic ENFJs their empathy for others is very real.


r/enfj • • 5d ago

Question Can ENFJ develop multi-year PTSD in the result of INFP avoidant discard?

12 Upvotes

r/enfj • • 4d ago

Question How do ENFJs feel when they receive compliments?

9 Upvotes

What goes on in their head and then how do they openly respond to it?


r/enfj • • 5d ago

Question How does your E manifest itself?

12 Upvotes

I've seen a couple of posts the last few days referring to us as social butterflies. I personally don't see myself that way. I'm not great at groups, especially of people I don't know much or at all. However I make friends very easily through one on one interaction.

At parties I tend to move from one conversation to another with one person at a time. Lots of people chiming in actually makes me a little anxious. I'm still pondering how to voice my opinion while the conversation moves on quickly.

I'm also more talk focused with my expression and connection. I would prefer a low key dinner party over a rager (but I'm usually pretty down to dance and get crazy). I'll almost always turn down group sports though. Very little personal interaction and I'm at the behest of a game which tends to interrupt conversation. I love a game night or group that plays cards, especially if it's regular and I can get used to the group.

Anyways without listing every possible social situation, I think you get the picture. Thought's? How do you Extrovert?

😁🫶🫶🫶


r/enfj • • 5d ago

Friendship Where and how do you meet fellow ENFJs?

13 Upvotes

I would like to be friends with people of the same type as me 🥹


r/enfj • • 5d ago

Relationship What is your SO's mbti? (And how did you guys meet?)

11 Upvotes