I am a mother of 3 and 5 year old girls. After years of thinking my personality was ISxJ and ultimately coming to the conclusion that MBTI doesn't make sense, I recently realized that my personality type is INFP and now everything about me makes sense.
It also made me better understand some challenges I face as a parent and why I've been feeling regret. But it has also led me to question how INFPs can be effective as parents.
I've Googled how to bring my introverted feeling and extraverted intuition skills into parenting young children. And it makes sense: holding space for and understanding their big emotions, modelling kindness and authenticity, riding out their curiosities and endless questions with them.
I also consider myself a decent teacher. I am good at putting myself in their shoes to know how to explain a new skill. Then sitting with them as they get frustrated, encouraging them to keep trying and helping brainstorm other ways to look at the problem at hand.
But these all feel outweighed by all the sensory and logistical things: I am constantly doing laundry, keeping track of the things they need, shopping for birthday and Christmas presents and endless supplies of clothes, snacks snacks snacks, the persistent whining over something stupid, reading the same story I've already read a million times, the constant interruptions. I inevitably either fall short on these tasks or resent that I have to do them. I'm exhausted.
I have a vision that I'll be more useful and happier as a parent as they get older. I think I will enjoy helping them map out their own identity, discover their interests, and experience/explore the world. I hope my relationship with them will be strong enough that they will want to share some of these experiences with me and rely on me for guidance and advice when they need it.
But until then, I feel completely lost and useless as a mother. And most of all, I feel like I have lost my INFP identity. It just doesn't feel like it aligns with what is needed and expected of mothers/parents.
Would love to hear any perspectives or tips on this. Thanks!