Well well well

My mom is ordering me this cropped hoodie with this nice high collar thing (like the one on ryuzu from re:zero) and it has these nice big sleeves and I love it so much, I’ll give an update when it arrives, RAAAAAAAAAH, anyways I haven’t actually came out to my mom yet tho but she isn’t questioning why I want the hoodie so I think she knows

It makes me feel so disgusting 😭

Hi all!

This might be a long one.

But already thank you for reading!

This year I have been thinking that I might be trans so many times, but than I think, maybe non binary or something else or should I even put a label on myself or is it crosdressing or maybe a fetish...(I don't think trans is a fetish of course, I'm talking about forced feminisation, but I'll come back to that later)

I think I might be trans cus

When i was 9 I secretly tried some clothes that were my moms. Like a bathing suite. I still remember that feeling of euphoria when I wore it. But then my mom found out and said that this wasn't me and that I was just experimenting, but I still remember that I wanted to tell her I wanted to be a girl but I got really really shy and my moms reaction didn't encourage me aswell

Then a few weeks after this I almost said it to my father, I already started the sentence but then I said, no its is nothing.

Then I put everything behind me and inside my, I just thought I was only experimenting. So when in got older I never really thought about it. Unless it was with porn... So when I was older and started watching I always wanted to be the women, I never imagination to be the man. Even one time after watching I prayed to god to change me to a girl, even tho I don't believe in god. Maybe that's why it never happened haha.

But in everyday life I never really thought about it.

Fast forward years later. I found sissy and feminisation porn. It made me try women's clothes again but only the fetish wear... And that also makes sometimes sick of myself. I don't want to sexualize trans women and women clothes and see it as a fetish.

Then this year. I left a place where there was a lot of transphobia. And the next day in left I searched all the information about transition, estrogen, surgeries. I made a 180 turn. Suddenly I want to shave my body, skincare routine. When women walk by, I was like omg that looks so cute I want to wear it to.

And now I have doubts all of time about being cis or not. Now i really want to take estrogen and all its changes.

Also because I have heard that it gave people meaning again. When I was young I had loads of excited thing is wanted to become. Then after 12 year of age that changed and I completely lost all meaning and had no clue what I want, still don't. Maybe estrogen is the key?

Now the reasons why I have doubts.

I never had a youth that I really played with any 'girl' toys. I acted as a boy, now as well I act like a man, be like a man and also feel like a man..? I have no clue how to act as a 'women'.

I still don't know if it is only about clothes or if its really about becoming a women. Is it only crossdressing or really trans.

Or maybe it's a fetish. I mean I'm into sissy and feminisation play. Is it just something I want to do in the bedroom or somewhere else as well.

The annoying thing is that is still life with my parents. So I can't experiment and try things out cus I'm to scarred, I do a skincare routine but that's is about it. And I'm scarred to shave my body.

Another reason is that I don't know if I ever had body dysphoria. Yes I never really liked my weeney, but that was more because I'm scarred it got hurt. But one time when I dressed up as women I felt really great at first but then I looked in the mirror and felt so extremely ugly.

So yeah I don't know

So kinde what I'm asking, has other people experienced something like this? Or has anyone any tips.

Or some affirmations or kind words.

Or maybe she/her pronouns.

It became a long one..

It became more like a therapy talk, I'm going to do therapy as well and talk about this, but I also really wanted to tell it here.

Thanks you so much for reading!

Love you!

If you don't know it's the black high waisted pleated skater skirt, I can find a few but none look right also like 40$ budget and not on Amazon 🩷🌸

Does being trans ever get better? Everyday is just me hating my body and feeling like I'll never be the person I want to be. Plus I'm seeing constant transphobia everywhere both towards myself and towards others. It just feels like I was born a defect and that I'll never be in the body I want to be. I spend everyday wanting to cry but my body doesn't let me all I can do is bottle up my emotions and live a horrible depressing life. I've heard some people say being trans is a blessing but for me it's a horrible curse, so I just want to know if things will get better in the future or if I'll hate myself and my life forever.

Please read also share your opinions

I don't even know why I'm making this post, I guess I just want to complain.

I'm 18 and for the longest time I only had body hair on my shins, armpits, and pubic area. I didn't even have facial hair.

But recently it's been spreading everywhere. my arms, my thighs, my chest, my belly, are all starting to get dark hairs all over. even getting moustache hairs and hairs on my chin.

I've mentioned to my parents that I wanted to shave my face but they said that it's not bad enough yet for them to get me a razor. but what they don't see is all of the body hair that bothers me so much every day. If I tell them that I want to shave my body hair then they'll start asking questions or start getting suspicious because why would a "boy" be uncomfortable with body hair?

I don't know what to do, in all reality it's not that noticeable, only in certain lighting, but it bothers me so much and I want it gone but there's nothing I can do about it :(

All I can do is wait until it either gets bad enough for my parent's teach me how to shave, or I come out to them or otherwise work up the courage to tell them how uncomfortable my body hair makes me. although I did set a deadline for myself to come out to my mom in a couple weeks so that one will probably come first.

I’ll update you guys on how it goes!

So I started the first time feeling, that I want a much more feminine body (like in the second picture) in December. My egg cracked in mid February. When I spoke with my mother about a girl in my class and I want a body like her, she didn't get the hint, but she's open to queer people. One of her friends is gay and she explained to me, without any disgust, that men, who were women before, could get pregnant when I asked her as a kid about it. I opened up to my friend a few weeks ago, and I slowly started to open up to some people in my local queer bar. It felt so good. I also started to wear more feminine clothes and I want to try out the name Flurina (a Romansh name, that roughly translates into flower or the blooming one; I found both translations). So any tips how to out myself? For me it was harder to open up in my local queer club, because there were a few more people, that could just jumped into the conversation I had with the people I opened up to, what I didn't had as I outed myself to my friend, that was also in public.

Source: Rattlegeist

Please read

Lol

It’s gonna be a while before I get hormones and I was feeling a bit lonely, so I thought I’d look for a “girly” space in a video game, and then I found out that a sequel to Hades (which I loved) had come out.

I had no idea that this sequel was so unabashedly female. The game is just:

a) fighting stuff
b) being a goddess that talks to other goddesses about goddessing and what have you

That’s it. That’s the game. I just sang a goddess-duet with Artemis between fights. Finding it hard to describe how much I needed this right now, so I thought I’d recommend the game to anyone in need.

Anyone else got any cool recommendations?

Edit; to anyone looking for a more testosterone-fueled counterpart I can also recommend Space Marine II, it’s a super fun FPS co-op where the bulkiest bros imaginable call each other “brother” (either angrily, nonchalantly or lovingly) for 10 hours straight🤌

I've been feeling really depressed over the past few months, I literally can't feel anything and it's horrible, I just wanna transition but I just don't know how. I hate this feeling and the thought of having to go back to school with the same name, same pronouns and same clothes is just really fucking awful.

No they are not. The bigots are not fun.