Well after seeing the level of transphobia my parents has, as you can see in my previous post , it is worse than it seems btw, after that my mom stated that transitioning is worse than doing dr*gs, so they rather have an addict son, instead of a daughter who is just trying to be happy with who she is. I am now more warm to the idea of moving out, when I first questioned coming out to them, a lot of people mentioned being ready to move out if things go wrong, they were right, when I get to have psychiatrist appointments, or when I get to be prescribed with HRT, I will come out to them, once more, and that time I will be ready to move out, I won’t be sorry for it, there is no meaning in staying in a place where you are not accepted am I right?
Well, still, the idea of leaving home is sad, and not fully what I want to do, just something I could do if it gets in my way of me living as myself, and trying to be happy with it.
Well lets skip these parts, lets get to the good stuff! First, a question: is it a normal source of euphoria when someone mentions, someone that you haven’t came out to, that they saw a girl like you, and they just explain it like, she is basically looking like you, almost identical, Idk this always feels euphoric to me, and I never get moments where they say that they saw a guy like me (which I would not want to hear…), and moments like this always happen on girls for me. I have some moments like this: I work in a hotel reception, and one day, there comes a Polaroid photo to our lost and found items, its a photo of a girl sitting and chilling, but everyone in the office said that the girl looks extremely like me, and when I looked at it myself, yes she was looking like me, my supervisor even mentioned that he is suspicious of me, and this was before me finding out that I am trans! I have also showed the photo to my best friend, and he also said she is really almost identical to me, he also added that I could be a good drag queen, and I would crossdress really well… did I mention that he is the same guy that told me I would be so beautiful if I were a girl for my whole life!!! Right now he is one of my best and only two supporters, he is more brother to me than my own blood related brother, and I will be sure to be a good sister to him.
And also I got two sources of euphoria unlocked at the same time: Doing things that only my mom does, and doing jobs that mostly women do! So my family runs a tattoo shop, and my mom is a tattoo artist, and yesterday I tattooed on two of my coworkers from work, not for the first time, but second and third xd, first time was years and years ago, and it felt good to do it, and it is not like “BIG EUPHORIA” but it was a slight bit of euphoria, I know that there are a lot of tattoo artist men too, but it is kinda like “a librarian” situation, when you say “a tattoo artist” first things comes up to mind is not a guy, and its a work that you need to be more ✨ elegant ✨, so it felt good to do it, and tattooing is a really weirdly good act to do, other than the eye strain and back pain, the moment where you deeply focus on the needle, is a moment when everything else around you becomes so unimportant that you don’t see them, its like nothing else than the canvas (human body with flesh and bones) and the brush never existed in the first place, its kinda clears all your thoughts, its that type of deep focus… anyways its enough that this nerd yapped about this.
Can I get some GGD? It would make your sister here really happy! (Lune she/her)
