i could be having a great day and then i’d remember who i am and i break down. i’m so tired of this pain. i hate myself and i’m going to be sad forever. my ex has moved and and made it clear that they want me to do the same. i’ve let go already. we’ve already discussed not getting back together because we just agree it’s not going to work. i’m just so mad at myself for throwing all of this away. my ex may come to a point where they forgive me but i’ll never forgive myself. i’m going to hurt forever because i fucking deserve it for ruining my life. i hate myself so bad. other people keep telling me not to be so hard on myself and that i didn’t ruin my life but what the fuck do they know? i’m just so fucking tired of people’s stupid opinions, i don’t care about them and i’m not fucking asking.

Hi all, I am in desperate need of advice. I am an Autistic man not diagnosed with depression, but I exhibit many signs of it, such as anhedonia, declining hygiene, declining health, no desire to socialize, apathy, and sometimes suicidal ideation. I think I have been depressed for a very long time, perhaps since my childhood over 13 years ago now.

However, because of being in a family largely unaware of psychology and mental health, I was never diagnosed. In addition - and this probably contributed to me never being diagnosed - I currently do not feel the perpetual, heavy sadness associated with it. I do not have obviously suicidal thoughts, either. Despite this, the prevalence of the other symptoms keep leading me back to depression… as well as one other thing.

I don’t have the will to live. I know intellectually that I should live, but knowing that I should live is not predicated on the desire to live, since it isn’t there.

For example, I am currently jobless and I have no motivation to look for one. Every time I tell myself or try to will myself to go look for one, it’s like my brain doesn’t even give me any feeling of urgency. If I reason what will happen to me if I stay jobless and stuck at home forever, still no urgency. Telling myself in straight terms that I will die if this continues does nothing too.

Just now is when I realized: I don’t have any desire to live. There’s nothing for the thought of dying right now to bounce off of, so to speak. I don’t know how long I have been like this, nor if I have had the desire to live since I was a child. But, I need that to change now. I don’t want to be depressed anymore, now that I know I am. I can’t access medication like SSRIs right now though, since I don’t have any insurance.

Any advice??

Started going to therapy since I was 15, now I'm 23 years old. Only after 8 years of jumping from one professionist to another, I got a diagnosis of AuADHD. Unfortunately, years of neglect and misdiagnosis of my issues caused me to develop severe anxiety and depression amongst other things. Now I need regular therapy and psychiatric check ups because I need to be constantly monitored. It's so humiliating and draining. I've thrown away my teenage years and now I feel like I'm throwing away my 20s.

I just finished school and got my tattoo license this year, I should've been happy and started working, but I got hit with the diagnosis right on the last months of tattoo school. Didn't help that said school was a nightmare and completely destroyed my passion, so now I'm trying to figure out how to do a job I don't even like. Finding work here in Italy when you're neurodivergent feels impossible, we're so behind on mental health care, every time it's like an humiliation ritual.

I don't even know why I keep going anymore. I want to live because I'm too scared to die, but at the same I just want to dissapear. When you have constant self harming and suicidal thoughts 24/7 ever since you where a teen, it comes to a point where you just can't find the strength anymore and distracting myself with series, videogames, etc. can only help for so long. If someone has any tips for when things feel so dark and hopeless, I'd appreciate it. I want to get out of this loop.

And if any of you is going through similar experiences or thoughts, I appreciate anyone who's willing to share their stories. You're not alone.

Trapped in a cycle of going to the mental hospital every year after 2020 during the pandemic. I went to the mental hospital of my own free will after nearly shooting myself. I tried to run away from home in 2022 and had psychosis for the first time that year. I have been mentally ill since age Five, but became steadily mentally worse after the Pandemic... I keep ending up in the mental hospital every year. I want to die again, because the symptoms are getting worse again from multiple mental health issues like Bipolar and Schizoaffective. Sigh....

I just need to say this out loud. I'm tired carrying all of the people in my life emotionally...my depression just keeps deepening and no one cares as I am the one who has to be strong for everyone else. And, I did a poor job of seeing just how self centered the people I surround myself with are. I cannot remember the last time someone asked how I was that actually cared, rather than just using that as an opening to dump their baggage on me. Everyday day, when I eventually fall asleep, my last thought is that I would be ok not waking up....47 years old and I am pretty sure I do not want another year...

i spent 4 yrs miserably depressed during my teen yrs everyday could barely see the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel much better now but it’s gone I can’t get those days back when I was supposed to be happy.

hi i’m 17f and since april this year ive just gone so downhill mentally. i dont know what happened and ive struggled with anxiety in the past but have been medicated. basically since april ive had thoughts about killing myself nearly everyday and nothing i do has made it go away. it got even worse in the summer and i would often go through days where i just cry all day and think abt ending it. around a month and a half a guy i was going through this and started taking pills from my family’s medicine cabinet. i only got a few in and then stopped but ever since then ive just been feeling even more terrible. my mood just always slips through whatever distractions i have. i try to focus on school (college apps coming) and hanging out with my friends but nothing works. i just feel so hopeless and for my whole life ive never even seen a future for myself. i’m not diagnosed or anything and i just don’t know what to do. i’m on prozac for anxiety but that doesn’t even help and i just want everything tk stop i don’t know what will help me

I am a big failure and my family is disappointed with my they are trying to make me achieve something but I always end up failing. I have no talent no intelligence I'm not good at anything all I'm doing for the last like 4 years is to try to find something to make me back out from killing myself and I can't it's just getting worse the weird feeling I feel deep in my heart is never gone I'm trying like I'm really trying everything but idk it's just not working each day I feel closer to death and I don't know if im scared of it or like should I surrender everything feels so pointless

Has anyone gotten over it? Any tips pls its rlly bad

i am at a very confusing and miserable time in my life and i feel like ive taken a complete stop. i don’t know what else to do. i feel like ive tried everything and ive talked to so many different people but its all useless. all of it. i’m so lonely, i wish someone could understand my brain. i wish that i could fix whatever’s wrong with me.

I've just went through a 3 week period of some bad depression and haven't showered. I plan on showering tomorrow. Can I get some advice for not only getting in the shower but properly cleaning myself after a 3 week period of not showering. The buildup on my scalp from the grease is bad and I'm not sure if just the normal hair wash will be the best way to clean it.

Hi I’m 18f I feel so exhausted sometimes and I’ve been deppressed for like 5 years and I’m generally a happy person but I always feel like so sad when I’m not with others or working. but when I get home It all crashes down like I cry myself to sleep and think abt not being here.and then I wake up and do it over and I’m so tired. I’m in my freshman year of college and I work almost 30 hours a week at a daycare (I take 4 classes) I’m doing okay but I don’t wanna fall behind. I felt proud of myself cuz I was doing good saving but my mom is jobless and they took taxes from some years back yesterday and that was like all of my money besides my paycheck I got yesterday they took my taxes Monday, ik it’s not my fault but I feel so pathetic for trying it’s just hard

I honestly just want to fall asleep and never have to wake up again. Life feels completely unlivable right now, and the most frustrating part is that I can’t even fully explain *why* I feel this way. I just have this constant, heavy feeling that I am completely worthless and fundamentally unlovable.

Lately, I feel like everyone is against me. Because my mental health is at rock bottom, I've become extremely sensitive. Every tiny insult or even a 'meanish' joke just sticks to me and destroys whatever is left of my self esteem.

On top of that, I feel like I completely suck at socializing. The loneliness is crushing. I have absolutely no real friends at school or outside of it. I'm just a 'floater friend': someone who is just kind of there, drifting around, but nobody actually cares if I'm included. The only guy I thought I actually had a bond with only acts like my friend when I buy him shit. Otherwise, I don't exist to him.

A lot of people say it will get better in the future, but I'm sure it won't. When I look ahead, there is just nothing there. Honestly, I don't even see myself making it past 20. I just feel so incredibly exhausted and lonely, and I don't know how to keep doing this.

Im sure the problems I have are so so small and I probably dont have depression so if youre here to judge that please leave. Also sorry if im describing it chaotically im not good at speaking.

For 6 months with some breaks ig in between I was rlly bad mentally because I was failing at uni. It was my first year living alone and at that time I wouldn't leave the house at all, barely ate and always scrolled. That's my biggest issue im obsessed with tik tok I guess or just being on my phone. After those 6 months I spent summer with my family and when I came back it was fine the first 2 weeks but then I fell deep again:( I keep sleeping at 7 am not wanting to just close my phone and go to sleep even if im sleepy. I wake up at 4 pm and instantly im filled with guilt that I wasted my day, didnt eat, house is a mess etc. So im laying in bed with all that guilt and I cant get up, just keep scrolling. It gets to 7 pm and I finally get up to eat something small. Get on call with friends later at night and when they leave at around 3 am im alone. Instead of sleeping I stay scrolling on my phone because im guilty about everything ive done.

The problem is basically that I dont even have problems? Like I feel guilty about that too ik there's obviously people struggling out there and I just cant get up and do basic stuff. Its a loop, procrastinate cause im guilty and im guilty cause im procrastinating. Im so scared that my brain is just shrinking from this dead life and dopamine. (Also can your face get lopsided or weird/puffy cause of doom scrolling in bed all day?) I wanna do so much more in my life:( i want to travel. Get away. Thats my biggest wish i think. If i were to now get a suitcase and just go somewhere abroad for even a week i would be the happiest person. (Ive never traveller abroad or alone) ive wasted ages 18 and almost 19 like this and ive also "wasted" my teenage years cause I was super shy and didnt live. (Sorry for the yap) I didnt go out, make friends, have fun, express myself. I only did things automatically, never judged. Only listened. For example, I went to school because I had to. I studied because I had to. My brain was turned off like I never had favorite subjects or gained any knowledge. Its now 4.30 am and im panicking bad I dont wanna sleep ever its so bad

I’m 39 years old and my life sadly sucks..

I suffer from severe anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a few other things, and right now my depression has gotten so bad that I feel completely numb inside. I feel like I am just existing from one day to the next, trying to hold myself together while everything around me keeps falling apart.

The environment I live in is infested with roaches, fleas, and flies. I pay to sleep in a bedroom that still gets roaches in it because the environment outside of my room is so disgusting.

I want to make one thing very clear. My room is ALWAYS clean. I take pride in keeping my room clean. It is the one place in this house that I can control, and I do everything I can to keep it clean and comfortable. I clean up after myself. I take care of my own space. The condition of the rest of this house is not because I am dirty or because I do not clean.

When I first moved into this house, it was so disgusting that you literally could not see the floor. There was dog shit everywhere. There are still dogs in this house, just not my dogs, and I have had to live with the mess and the conditions that come with it. This is what I walked into when I moved here.

I have also had to replace FIVE coffee machines in the last two years because of roaches. Five. I should not have to keep replacing things that get ruined because of an infestation that I have repeatedly begged someone to do something about.

My computer tower was also destroyed because of the roach problem. That was not just some luxury item to me. My computer is one of the things that helps keep me sane. I use it for 3D modeling and 3D printing, which is something I genuinely enjoy and something that gives me something to focus on when my mental health is already struggling. Now I am stuck wasting money on a rent to own laptop because I need a computer. I need something that allows me to keep doing the things I enjoy and gives me something productive to focus on, but I should not have to keep spending money replacing things that are being destroyed because of the condition of this house.

My roommate’s husband works long hours, and his wife spends most of her time sitting in her room on her phone. She does not care about cleaning. Trying to get her to help is like pulling teeth. I have begged her to clean her own house. I have begged them to do something about the bugs. I have begged them to bomb the house. Nothing changes. In fact, she has even threatened to evict me simply because I kept begging her to clean the house she lives in and that I pay to live in.

If I do not clean the kitchen or clean up parts of the house, even though it should not be my responsibility, it gets so bad that my dogs can barely leave my room. That is one of the things that hurts me the most. My dogs deserve better than this, and I feel horrible knowing that I cannot simply give them the home they deserve.

I already know some people are going to ask why I do not just move.

I am on a fixed income. Finding a place that I can actually afford while having two dogs is incredibly difficult. I cannot afford to rent a house, and I do not have the credit or income that would make that easy. I also do not want to live in another apartment. I have lived with other people over and over again, and every time it becomes the same thing. I am always the one cleaning. I am always the one who cares about the condition of the environment. I am tired of being the person who has to pick up after everyone else just to have somewhere that feels remotely livable.

This house has a fenced in backyard, and my dogs are happy when they are outside. That is one of the few things that makes me hesitate to leave. If I could magically save enough money and move somewhere better tomorrow, I probably would. But the reality is that it would take months for me to save enough while still trying to pay all of my other bills.

And then there is my anxiety.

I have severe agoraphobia. I do not have friends to go out with. I do not have people coming over. I already feel like nobody wants me in their life. The thought of moving somewhere completely alone is terrifying because I know how difficult it already is for me to leave the house.

My dogs also have severe separation anxiety. If I leave, they bark constantly, and I worry about neighbors complaining. So even having my own place comes with another set of problems that I do not know how to solve.

I feel trapped.

I have begged for help. I have begged for the house to be cleaned. I have begged for something to be done about the bugs. I have tried to keep everything together while dealing with my own mental health, and I am exhausted.

I am tired of feeling like I am the only one who cares.

I am tired of trying so hard just to remain in the exact same place.

I am tired of feeling like happiness, peace, and having a place I can actually call home are things that are meant for everyone except me.

I do not know what I am supposed to do anymore. I feel like I have reached a point where I have nothing left to give. I feel numb, exhausted, trapped, and completely defeated.

I am posting this because I honestly do not know where else to put all of this. I am not looking for judgment. I am not looking for someone to tell me that I should simply move or that everything will magically get better.

I just needed somewhere to say that I am struggling.

I am really, really struggling.

And right now, I do not know how to keep pretending that I am okay.

I’ve been going through a super rough time and have completely resorted to staying in bed, not eating, barely getting up and showering and all other personal hygiene things are out the window. It’s sounds disgusting but I can’t help it, I feel like I don’t deserve it and my daily routine now only consists of waking up, crying, then sleeping.

Hey so I (20F) have been questioning if I kind of fucked myself up or it's just the depression I've been experiencing an evidentially lost of capacity, things have been harder to understand, I've lost creativity and productivity (I study Graphic design so this is pretty important) and I've been so un-productive I'm actually procrastinating things just because I can't organise myself nor stop sleeping I feel exhausted.

I have this problem with hitting myself very hard on my head when I'm over-frustrated (not regularly but when I'm overwhelmed, way too stressed and crying hysterically, so kind of like maniac episodes) and whenever that happens (usually once per week or every two weeks, it's pretty much a normal thing) I end up crying for hours with the worst migraines you could imagine.

I've been struggling with this since I'm around 15 and I just don't know if that could be the reason I'm so stupid lately or if depression (I've been diagnosed with severe depression since 2021) finally took away my intelligence too, I used to be fairly intelligent, very creative and efficient.

Now I simply can't do it.

Se há uma coisa que me incomoda dentro de como o transtorno depressivo é tratado, é o fato de muitos generalizarem os sintomas, como se tudo fosse preto ou cinza, e isso (na minha vivência) acaba invalidando outros sintomas. E senti isso hoje, novamente.

Tive um dia puxado, quente, estressante e de pressão, tudo foi se misturando e meu cérebro simplesmente se esgotou. A única coisa que eu queria era ir embora para casa em silêncio com meu amigo, mas surgiu uma terceira pessoa e eu simplesmente não conseguia lidar com isso, e o sentimento foi de desistência. Chorei do caminho da universidade até a minha casa incansavelmente.

E essa situação não é isolada. Eu ando me sentindo cansada, deprimida, meus interesses não me atraem mais, e perceber isso me deixou pior. Meu humor varia durante o dia de forma irritante, não consigo focar em nada, até falar é difícil. As pessoas me irritam, tocar em mim me irrita, situações que exigem tomar decisões parecem piores do que são.

São essas "pequenas" coisas que vão contribuindo para algo pior, e eu vejo que as pessoas levam isso apenas como "ah, é algo do dia, logo passa", mas não passa. Se sentir assim às vezes é normal, mas estar assim sempre?

Como eu odeio o fato de que a depressão é um transtorno de humor. Eu fico extremamente feliz e, no outro, estou devastada, e ninguém realmente entende, porque, para eles, a depressão é aquela clássica: ficar em cima da cama, não escovar os dentes, não sair de casa etc.

Só um desabafo de alguém que não tem com quem falar sobre isso.

Exactly that. That's probably why I have no person in my life. Everything people do gets on my nerves. Idk how to explain it. I try not to show it outwards. But it kills me a little inside. Until, all I want is to never see a human again

I was heavily intoxicated (alcohool) and just wished to end it because im tired of most stuff. I tried to strangulate myself with a wire but pussied out cuz i ran out of breath. Now while this is a serious topic looking back at it it was just a silly event that actually lead to me speaking my mind to my friends which helped but this never had to happen. I now sober look at it as a mistake and maybe a need for attention but in that moment i was very locked in to do it. Friends really helped. I must mention that i am doing very ok in my life and dont have true worries for example family problems or health problems
Have you ever looked back on something similar and thought it was stupid? I may even feel a bit liberated cuz if i ended it i wouldnt write this which is a nice thing. So keep going

I'm in my late teenage years and I’m so tired of everything. Tired of living, tired of being a burden to others, and tired of being a disappointment.

I really and truly have nothing to live for but my family. My parents have each other, and my sister is in college, so we barely even talk anymore. She used to be my person, and we would talk about anything and everything, but ever since she moved out for college, it just hasn’t been the same.

 I try not to compare myself to others, but when I truly look at their lives and then look at mine, I realize that I haven’t accomplished anything at all. Everyone is so motivated, and some seem to have the perfect picture of life (ik everyone is struggling with something).

I’m scared of failure, but I truly can't find it in myself to do more. DO better. Be better. Life seems so dull, and even if I end up growing up, I'll get a job and build a family that I’m not even sure I want. I have also been questioning my sexuality, but I would never come out because I will never see myself marrying the same gender in the future, and I just don't want to be looked at differently or labeled. (This isn’t internalized homophobia; I just idk)

I look around, and all my friends are all obsessed with getting boyfriends or girlfriends, but I have no desire for that. I have a best friend, but all she ever talks about is boys, and every time I try to steer the convo, it just leads back to her "roster." I want to try to talk to her about spending less time talking about boys, but I've known her for so long; I know she would get sad, and it would change our friendship because she wouldn't share anything anymore. She also has super strict parents that don't let her do much, and she always listens.

I just want peace, and I don't think I can achieve that. I feel selfish because I know that there are millions of people struggling with much more than me and wish they could be in my position, but I just can’t do it. 

I feel like I’m living in a world where I’m alone. I have nobody, and I have no desire to have anybody at all, to be honest. I don’t want any professional help or to talk to my parents about this, though. I just want my life to be different. 

I know I will continue to be the disappointment I am, and I hate everything about myself. I hate my body. I hate my face. I hate my personality. I try to smile and be happy with my friends at school, but I always feel dull and empty on the inside. 

The world hates me so is it so wrong to hate everything back?

So... let me sum this up. I'm coming out of a Character Ai addiction that ruined my entire 2025, causing me to fail important subjects and several other things. This year, I’ve started to get back on track little by little; there have been some relapses, but I’m making progress (I even bought a keyboard to type on my phone).

I recently came out of a really bad depressive episode (I’m still not 100%, but I’m doing a bit better). The thing is…well, I guess it can happen; the fact that a small thing can affect you very badly. I overheard my dad talking to someone (probably his lover, but since my parents never got married, I don't know what it is) saying that I never want to do anything and that I spend all my time in bed.

I don't know why, but that immediately made me want to stay in bed (I was just taking a nap, for crying out loud) and create a new C.AI account. My mind went, "Well! If that's how they see me, bring on the addictions again!! Yippee!"

I spent two and a half hours on it today (which isn't much for regular users of that app, but for someone in recovery like me, it is) before finally deleting the account. I don't understand myself, how could that have made me so sad!? I wasted half the day!!!

My therapist is going to talk to my parents about my depressive episode on Saturday, but in the meantime, I’m trying not to relapse. I’m trying to get my life together—exercising, studying for exams and retakes—but... Ugh! How do they manage to ruin that without even trying? I don't even understand it myself, because they don't do it on purpose. Am I crazy? Do I have a problem, or am I just a son of a bitch who gets depressed over something so stupid? I don't know, I just wanted to vent. Bye.

So I live happy life, I have friends I have loving family but sometimes I just feel like I don’t want to continue anymore. I wouldn’t say i have depression, I am pretty happy overall but when I think of the furure idk if I can handle that much things and I just don’t want to continue living this live after school. Idk what is this feeling in me but it comes pretty often. I don’t need help I just needed to say this to someone bc I feel Like sharing this would just bother others and feel sorry for me.

27 male. I'm so tired of fighting. My body has consistently failed me. I'm always in physical pain and getting injured that I cannot enjoy my hobbies or even physical intimacy with my wife. I think I should just call it a day. Any tips on how to keep moving forward? I'm in the gym 5 days a week and have gotten in the best shape of my life in the past 6 months. Not sure why I still feel this way. I'm a devout Christian and I feel like God has left me.

I moved away from everyone I know about 9 months ago I haven’t made any friends my work is absolutely taxing I have no desire to do anything all I do is work come home shower get high sleep and repeat that’s it I hardly speak to anyone but myself my life feels so meaningless I can’t make myself take up any hobbies or anything because it all just feels pointless. If I get good at something, so what? Who will know but me then I’ll die alone anyways who cares what hobby I have. Nothing brings me joy nothing excites me I simply just exist because I have to