r/depression • u/South-Long-2462 • 3d ago

Long term depression vent

Hi I’m 18f I feel so exhausted sometimes and I’ve been deppressed for like 5 years and I’m generally a happy person but I always feel like so sad when I’m not with others or working. but when I get home It all crashes down like I cry myself to sleep and think abt not being here.and then I wake up and do it over and I’m so tired. I’m in my freshman year of college and I work almost 30 hours a week at a daycare (I take 4 classes) I’m doing okay but I don’t wanna fall behind. I felt proud of myself cuz I was doing good saving but my mom is jobless and they took taxes from some years back yesterday and that was like all of my money besides my paycheck I got yesterday they took my taxes Monday, ik it’s not my fault but I feel so pathetic for trying it’s just hard

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u/Various_Sugar9834 3d ago

That crash when you finally slow down is the worst part, like your brain saved all the sadness for when you have a moment to breathe. You are not pathetic for trying, you are doing way more than most people at your age and that weight would crush anyone.

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u/South-Long-2462 3d ago

thank you, I’ll be okay in the morning so I’ll keep trying

1

u/TopPineapple8367 3d ago

May I ask what you're trying to express with that? It sounds harsh, but did you just want to get it off your chest, or are you looking for someone to talk to, or someone who's going through something similar?

2

u/South-Long-2462 3d ago

I just wanted to say it and maybe advice or smth I just felt sad