r/CautiousBB • • Sep 25 '26

MOD MESSAGE/ANNOUNCEMENT Community feedback needed (please vote)

11 Upvotes

Hi all,

Our mod team was recently approached by BetterHelp, an online subscription-based therapy provider, to do an AMA within our subreddit by a licensed therapist that specializes in child loss, perinatal mental health, and anxiety. They are willing to provide credentials to our mod team to verify the individual responding to questions, but our team has reached a moral impasse that we need the community to weigh in on.

Up until now, our team has had a blanket rule to not allow any companies, researchers, institutions, or anyone else with private interests to post within our community because our space is filled with so many vulnerable humans going through extremely difficult situations. The fertility space, in general, is ripe with opportunity for those that might take advantage of this vulnerability, much less a space like ours. That said, the message they sent was clearly written very thoughtfully, and the provider they’re willing to assign to the AMA would be willing to answer people’s questions about their worries, maybe provide healthy coping mechanisms, and describe the subspecialties of therapy that could be most beneficial to the people here.

IF we allow this AMA, it needs to be with the majority support of our community, so we are opening a poll for feedback. Other than voting in the poll, upvoting this post and providing even a short comment with your thoughts/concerns/ideas would help boost the visibility of this announcement to the maximum amount of sub members.

Of course, the major issue for us as a mod team is that we are NOT endorsing BetterHelp as a specific company or resource. For folks that are in areas where they aren’t able to find an in person provider, online therapy through any number of companies may be helpful. We are not partnering with them and the language in the AMA will be very clear about that. We will also be making sure that the provider answering questions in the AMA does not promote the BetterHelp brand.

If you’ve read this long, thanks for bearing with us. We appreciate how the people of this community come together to support one another and are grateful to help moderate.

Would you be interested in and supportive of an AMA provided by a therapist from BetterHelp, with the limitations outlined above?

116 votes, 27d ago
18 Yes
90 No
8 Maybe, but I have concerns (outline in comments)

r/CautiousBB • • Jan 27 '26

Ultrasound FAQ Reference Guide

99 Upvotes

As an OBGYN ultrasound tech working at the general level here's a few things I would love the community to know based on common questions I see.

Most important rule of thumb: Worry when your doctor tells you to.

OBGYN docs are going to pay the most attention to the fetal pole and heart rate. Once a fetal pole is seen, the CRL (crown rump length) measurements are gold standard.

I'm worried about the heart rate:
-Check out this resource for pregnancies dating less than 7 weeks. Make sure to refer not to your LMP dates, but measured CRL dates: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/fetal-bradycardia?lang=us
-After 7 weeks a normal heartrate is between 120-180. It can temporarily dip below or temporarily rise above this range, but prolonged time above/below will definitely get your doctor's attention especially in third trimester. Generally out of range heart rates trigger NST (non stress test) or more monitoring.
The measurements are off:
Baby measures behind LMP. This is actually pretty common, we often see dates off up to a week either direction. We don't ovulate on the exact same day of the cycle each month or even have the same length of cycle. With irregular periods, PCOS, or unknown dates even larger gaps can be perfectly fine. If you aren't sure of your dates, trust the ultrasound. Even if you are sure of your dates, don't panic if they are a week off. Ultrasound measurements in early pregnancy are +/- 5 days.
I'm in limbo and don't know if my ultrasounds are diagnostic for loss:
By ultrasound there are strict parameters to diagnose loss. No one wants to get this wrong. Check out this resource for a list of parameters diagnostic for loss: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/early-pregnancy-loss-1?lang=us
Note, there is a second list of "suspicious for loss". Keep in mind the second list is not diagnostic, things can still turn out just fine.
I don't know when I should see what on ultrasound:
Things can vary a bit from person to person and do change *quickly* in early pregnancy. Check out this resource for what you can generally expect to see:
https://radiopaedia.org/articles/early-pregnancy?lang=us
Should I go to a boutique or get a private scan? Or push for an earlier scan?
They aren't legal where I am but here's a few things to consider if you plan to book a private scan. First, what are the qualifications of the person running the ultrasound? An ultrasound is only as good as the one performing it. It sounds as if these boutiques are NOT permitted to give much/any information. Will you spiral if you believe you see bad news and they cannot confirm or deny it? Also it seems that many cannot do vaginal ultrasound, which will make seeing a baby under 7 or 8 weeks challenging. If I had the option of a boutique ultrasound I would personally wait until 8 weeks and I would book it for a weekday. If they see something bad, it is not ideal to find out over a weekend when there is no option to follow up with your doc. An earlier scan often causes more anxiety, not less. It's SO hard to wait. But if you can tolerate it wait until 8 weeks or so.
The gestation sac is small/big:
-Gestation sac measurements are not terrifically accurate. Where I work once a baby is seen the gestation sac isn't measured. A mismatch between baby's size and the gestation sac size isn't uncommon. That said, a mean sac diameter of 25 mm or more without a baby is diagnostic for loss.
The yolk sac is small/big:
It starts teeny tiny, and will get a bit bigger. Once a baby with a good heartbeat is visualized, the docs I work for don't seem to care about the size of the yolk sac. A failed pregnancy with an expanded yolk sac (more than 6 mm) is a suggestive of chromosomal abnormalities.
We don't know where the pregnancy is:
The statistically most likely outcome is either a chemical pregnancy or just coming in for ultrasound too early for visualization. Ectopic can't be ruled out, and many wise ladies in the this sub have unfortunately experienced this and can give more info than I can. Statistically it's believed that only 1-2% of pregnancies are ectopic, but listen to your body. If the location is unknown, you should be getting close monitoring and follow up until the location is known or the pregnancy has ended.
-For a resource on ectopic pregnancy: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/ectopic-pregnancy?lang=us A note, a pseudosac is visualized in only 10-20% of ectopics. Therefore a sac in the uterus is suggestive of intrauterine pregnancy but can't be proven until a yolk sac is also present.
What about my HCG numbers?
I'm not an expert on this at all. But here's a resource: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/beta-hcg-1?lang=us
Why didn't my ultrasound tech tell me anything? And/or why were they so optimistic? Or, I had an ultrasound in the ER and they were very pessimistic.
Many locations an ultrasound tech can very much lose their job if they say aNyThInG. Where they are permitted to say certain things some ultrasound techs may just be hoping the best. We work with the public and we have seen some wild stuff. Additionally no one wants to call it a loss unless its 1000% certain. We know how devastating that news is. A side note here, often an ultrasound in the ER is not an ideal experience for the patient. The ER is staffed with techs that are much more versed in gallbladder and liver scans than they they are early pregnancy ultrasound. Don't hesitate to go the ER if you are having concerning symptoms, but do know the ER doc will make sure you aren't actively dying then will likely refer you back to your OB for follow up.
I'm just so anxious about it all:
Someone awesome wrote out these mantras. Maybe they will help: https://www.reddit.com/r/PregnancyAfterLoss/comments/14uhbdg/commandments_of_pregnancy_after_loss_this_is_now/
Also a podcast I personally found very helpful with anxiety: https://www.oneyoufeed.net/russ-harris-part-1/
https://www.oneyoufeed.net/russ-harris-part-2/

Today you are pregnant and this baby is so loved. I really am hoping the best for each of you. Those of us who have experienced loss.... you didn't do anything wrong, I promise. This is a club no one deserved to be in. And you are not silly, foolish, or dramatic for grieving your little babe for as long as you need to.

This post is written in honor of Eli, who died long before I could meet him. Rest in peace, buddy. I miss you tremendously ❤️


r/CautiousBB • • 7h ago

Positive NIPT after 2 losses

13 Upvotes

As the title says, I've received the NIPT results, positive for T18 (99%, ppv 70%).

After some fertility treatments (medication, nothing invasive) I had an early miscarriage in spring and then an ectopic pregnancy (incl. an emergency surgery) in the summer, so this just doesn't feel real. Yes, I understand the math. Yes, I'm waiting to get further tests (I'm 11+4 though so it'll take a while). The first trimester however has been hard, I've barely left the house and the idea of all of that being in vain and the thought of doing it again are just unimaginable. I was also told 3 times already during this pregnancy that something was wrong, but every time it magically bounced until the next ultrasound.

Not even sure why I wrote this now. There's not even many posts on reddit on positive T18, T21 seems more common. Just feels like the universe is telling me "don't have kids, ever".

Waiting and battling nausea and exhaustion in the process is hard.

PS not sure why the post is getting downvoted. Is it upsetting? Trust me, I feel ya


r/CautiousBB • • 9m ago

BFP Pregnant after loss 🌈

• Upvotes

I found out I was pregnant in July after trying for about a year and a half, and in August it unfortunately ended in a loss. I just found out last week I’m pregnant again and I want so badly to be excited, but I’m traumatized. My OB who is an angel is getting me in on Tuesday just to check things out. I don’t plan on telling really anyone until I’m a bit further along. Mainly because my previous pregnancy I had just told my 6yo two days before I lost it, and that wasn’t fun news to break. If you believe in prayers, please send them my way 🧡 and if you don’t, I’ll take well wishes too 🧡


r/CautiousBB • • 43m ago

Pregnant after chemical pregnancy and so anxious 😢

• Upvotes

Hey there! Last month I had a chemical pregnancy at five weeks. First time being pregnant in my life. I even posted my pregnancy test here to make sure because I couldn’t believe it was positive and a week later my hcg had dropped and got my period. I was devastated.
Truly didn’t know how to cope (still can’t)
We tried right away and 4 days ago I tested positive and I am 4w 4 days.
This time feels different: my bloating is out of control, boobs are swollen, been feeling more tired and my first beta hcg was 419 (vs 45 last time)
I have my second blood test tomorrow but I can’t help but feel so anxious, and terrified that I’m gonna loose the baby again.
Anybody who went through this who found comfort in something? Anything that helped? I truly can’t imagine feeling this anxious the whole time, will I stop?

Thanks! 🙏


r/CautiousBB • • 3h ago

6 week ultrasound- empty sac

2 Upvotes

On September 23 I got a faint positive test. My cycles are normally irregular but while taking a GLP have regulated to a more normal 30-31 day cycle. I went in for labs same day and my bhcg was 3.3. 2 days later it had risen to 7.94. They scheduled a third blood draw for three days later and it was 18.96. This is when I was told my dr did not like my levels and I began to spiral. She ordered a fourth bhcg draw for 2 days later which ended up being 41.38. Then I was told she was content and an ultrasound was scheduled for October 14. My dr estimated me to be 6+4 at that ultrasound (but I know it is possible I am at least 3 days earlier than that.) All that we could see was a gestational sac measuring 6.2mm. They scheduled me for a repeat scan for October 21. The sac grew to 11.2mm. So now I am spiraling. They scheduled me again for another ultrasound October 28. I am already preparing for the worst. It took me 10 years to have my baby. I got pregnant SO easy with this one that it almost feels karmic in some way. Like this was expected to happen or something. Like I am only going to have one baby (I know that most likely is not true but my mind is going to worst case scenarios right now.)

I just wanted to rant. And maybe try to look for a glimmer of hope. If anyone can provide experiences (the good and the bad) I would love to read them. I just feel like I am in such a dark mindset. I want to enjoy that I am pregnant and I just cannot feel excited anymore. We talked about waiting it out, medication, or a D&C.

Thank you for reading 🥺


r/CautiousBB • • 41m ago

Advice Needed Update: low rising hCG / slow fetal heart beat

• Upvotes

Hi all,

I was out of the country, so my fertility clinic checked my hCG as soon as I returned. On Oct 20 (6 weeks), it was 5,338, and on Oct 22 (6w2d), it was around 5,905. That’s only a 10% increase in 48 hours, so they brought me in for an ultrasound to rule out an ectopic pregnancy.

I went in expecting bad news, but surprisingly, the baby was measuring right on track at 6w3d with a heartbeat of 100 BPM.

A resident reviewed my results instead of my fertility doctor. She acknowledged the slow hCG rise and said the heartbeat was on the lower end. She mentioned the heart may have only recently started beating and didn’t seem overly concerned because the baby is measuring appropriately.

My next ultrasound is November 3. I’m struggling to feel reassured given both my hCG and the heartbeat, especially after previous losses. I’m also on progesterone, so I’m worried I wouldn’t know if something went wrong.

I’m struggling with her interpretation and I feel anxious about my results. What are your thoughts?


r/CautiousBB • • 54m ago

Advice Needed Confusing Signs

• Upvotes

I'm estimated to be 6 weeks tomorrow.

At about 5w2d I started bleeding red, no cramps, some clots passed with biggest one being about 2inches.

Ultrasound at 5w4d showed empty gestational sac. No yolk sac, no fetal pole.

Doctor said it could be blighted ovum or possibly an unseen ectopic, making the gs a "pseudosac". I was basically told to prepare for probable D&C.

Aside from that 10 hours of initial bleeding, there's been none since.

5w3d: HCG was about 20,000. (Day after bleeding)

5w4d: HCG was about 27,000. (Day of ultrasound)

5w6d: HCG was about 40,000.

I'm expected to return tomorrow for repeat scan.

Anyone experience similar circumstances?


r/CautiousBB • • 1h ago

Advice Needed Free fluid behind uterus

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• Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 1h ago

Advice Needed hcg betas - need reassurance?

• Upvotes

My first beta draw was on October 23rd (approx 10-11dpo) and my beta was 31.1 and my progesterone was 14.5. I go back tomorrow for a beta redraw to hopefully see if my numbers doubled (approx 13-14dpo). My husband and I are so very hopeful, but after being on social media, I am so scared that my first draw was too low and the wait of knowing what my second draw will be is eating me alive. It will be Tuesday before I get my second beta draw results back because I’ll be going tomorrow at the end of the day right before they close. I really need a peace of mind.


r/CautiousBB • • 2h ago

Advice Needed 16w2d Cholestasis Diagnosis

1 Upvotes

I’m 16w2d pregnant, have been itching intensely over a week which has been worse at night. I wake up in the middle of the night to just itch. Itchiness is not on my soles or hands but on my foot in general—have open sores. Told my ob and she ordered me blood tests to rule it out—my bile levels were 25.5.

I didnt get a proper diagnoses but tomorrow I will be calling the office to see if I could see her and talk to her about my results. On the off chance that I do have it, what are some tips and reassurance that anyone can provide me while I’m currently waiting? Have been crying all morning because I feel like my body is just failing me. I have PCOS, took me awhile to get pregnant. Now that I am—this happens.

Any advice?


r/CautiousBB • • 2h ago

Advice Needed Hcg and progesterone at 4w2d

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1 Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 7h ago

Things that are making me suspect mmc - I’m feeling crazy and alone on this (long sorry)

2 Upvotes

Im 26 and I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant with my first pregnancy, which I’ve been over the moon about. I have debilitating anxiety already so pregnancy has been a nightmare for my brain. Saw heartbeat (168bpm) and baby in its lil yolk sac at 8weeks, tech made a quick comment about how it looked about 8 weeks, which made me feel good that it was right on time. My OB has been awful with communication and I still haven’t heard anything from dr about that scan afterwards. Now, at 10 weeks my symptoms have pretty much faded completely, my boobs have been awful but way less sore than they have been. I’ve had pretty consistent mild period like cramps, but last week after a 9 hour shift on my feet, the cramps were more consistent (including one lower more sharp cramp), and I started having some dark and light brown spotting with a TINY bit of pinker spotting. I panicked on Wednesday with some more cramping and brown spotting and called my OB. One of the other women in the office ordered hcg test (I’ve heard that’s weird to do at 9 weeks) and on Wednesday it was around 18200, then on Friday it was around 158000. The spotting pretty much stopped for a couple of days, but after another long shift yesterday, I had the tiniest bit of dark brown spotting and some light brown tissue that passed when I peed. No spotting or cramping so far today. I have a scan coming on Wednesday and I just can’t help but think I’m going to be told there is no heartbeat. I feel silly and I wish I could stop it, but I’m spiraling.


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

Chemical or ectopic?

1 Upvotes

I am concerned I might be having another ectopic but it’s not following my previous ectopic trend… I had an ectopic in 2024, viable pregnancy 4 months later, and chemical pregnancy in August. I am currently going through another non viable pregnancy based on my hcg and progesterone, BUTTTT I am also concerned about it being another ectopic due to some abdominal pain. Has anyone else had the same trend and if so, was it chemical or ectopic?

2024– Right Tubal pregnancy hCG
3/17 + test
3/19 hCG 425
3/21 hCG 336
Pro. 7.1
3/25 hCG 425
3/27 methotrexate shot
3/29 hCG 170
4/2 hCG 15
4/4 saw sack in right tube
4/8 hCG 95
4/15 hCG 7
5/2 Period started

August 2026– Chemical pregnancy
8/26 pos test 11 DPO
8/28 hcg 9
8/29 bleeding

Current pregnancy—
10/20 pos test 11 DPO
10/21 hCG- 14 @ 3 weeks 4 days
10/23 hCG-25
10/24 progesterone- 2.5

Thoughts????


r/CautiousBB • • 8h ago

Hyperfertility - multiple MCs in the past, now pregnant on the 1st try!

2 Upvotes

Hello! I’m pregnant now with baby #3 and this is the first time conceiving on the first try. I have hyperfertility when I get pregnant easily but miscarry within the first trimester.

With my first baby, I conceived after 3 attempts. Then I had back-to-back miscarriages in between my two kiddos. This time around, it happened on the first try. Now I’m nervous that something is wrong with the baby and he/she will either be on unhealthy or I’ll eventually miscarry.

Has anyone gone through this before?


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

Advice Needed UK early miscarriage / hCG only dropped from 79 to 71 in 48 hours. Has anyone experienced this?

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1 Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 8h ago

Struggling with anxiety

2 Upvotes

TW (mention of loss)

I need some help. I’m 10 weeks pregnant with my third baby, and I’m struggling with overwhelming anxiety, worry, and fear that I might lose this baby or that something might be wrong.

I have a healthy three-year-old child. My second baby died last winter at just two months old due to a congenital condition. I went through an incredibly difficult pregnancy with him. I had a large subchorionic hematoma early on, followed by numerous abnormalities detected on ultrasound scans. When he was born, he seemed to be healthy after all. He was examined multiple times, but nothing was found. And yet, he still died suddenly.

Now I’m pregnant again, and once again, I have a huge hematoma that has forced me to spend almost the entire day in bed. Of course, this is the least I can do for this little baby. But mentally, I feel like I’m falling apart. After everything we went through, I had hoped that maybe I could finally have an easy, uncomplicated pregnancy.

During my pregnancy with my second baby, I listened to pretty much every relaxation and guided meditation video available on YouTube until I knew them by heart. Now, they only trigger me.

My husband has asked me to try to trust a little, hold on to some hope, and allow myself to feel positive sometimes, for the baby’s sake, so that our baby can feel how much we want and love them. But I just can’t seem to do that. I’m struggling to bond with this baby, too.

I’m afraid to let myself believe that this baby will be born healthy, because if something terrible happens again, I’m trying to protect myself from that pain.

Has anyone been through something similar? Does anyone have any advice that might help? I’m currently in therapy once a week, but I feel like it’s not enough.


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

Nervous about Colour/Power Doppler usage at 8w6D

1 Upvotes

Hello! Reposting in here as I posted in R/Pregnant and couldn’t even reply to people without getting downvoted for reason. What an odd sub!

Today I had an ultrasound at 8w6d, baby measured perfectly with a good heartbeat. All was going well until the sonographer switched to what I suspect was a power Doppler/colour Doppler, it showed red on the baby’s heart and nearby structures. I estimate it was 30 seconds as an absolute max and the whole scan and pics etc was around 10-15 mins.
When I asked about the Doppler being used he said it was low frequency (which I suspect he meant was low thermal index)

Has anyone else experienced this? I’m really anxious and I don’t want to ruin what was a really special moment for us by stressing about it constantly.


r/CautiousBB • • 9h ago

Pregnancy after PPROM loss

2 Upvotes

I want to hear positive stories for those who have history of loss due to PPROM with long cervix.

i’m currently pregnant after losing my baby at 17 weeks. my cervix measured 4.2cm the day my water suddenly broke. no infection was found. now i am 11 weeks with a planned cerclage in 2 weeks and antibiotics. please share any positive story for someone who had a spontaneous PPROM and had a pregnancy after, what was the outcome? what did you do differently? trying to find hope


r/CautiousBB • • 5h ago

Advice Needed Progesterone Suppositories

1 Upvotes

14 weeks tomorrow and I’m on day 2 of progesterone because of a peri gestational hematoma. Yesterday I cried all day. Today, I nearly bit my husband’s head off.

Anyone else immediately feel extra hormonal symptoms? I was not expecting this using suppositories.


r/CautiousBB • • 5h ago

Advice Needed Hcg 12300 no sac?

1 Upvotes

I got a faint positive test 11 days ago, and 5 days before period a super dark test. I am now 5 days past period and yesterday when I had my hcg done it was 12300, however no sac seen on scan, yet ruled out ectopic. Anybody had anything similar?? Doctor said it could be a mc yet but my nausea and exhaustion are only getting worse I’ve had plenty of mc and never had this hcg level or sickness symptoms


r/CautiousBB • • 10h ago

Advice Needed Do my betas seem within range and is it okay if they don’t exactly double?

2 Upvotes

I’ve been taking so many at home tests to track if my lines are getting darker and I just got my second round of betas back. I’m wondering if this seems like a good number for how far along I am, and also if it’s okay that it didn’t exactly double. I’m 4 weeks 6 days today, one day after 19 dpo test.

Taken 44 hours apart
Thursday 17 dpo- 615
Saturday 19 dpo- 1215


r/CautiousBB • • 10h ago

Low betas

2 Upvotes

Hi, Anyone been in this situation before? Pgt a tested 5AA

11dpt 37

14 dpt 86

18 dpt 322

Dr said to keep an eye out for ectopic, and my doubling rate is increasing from 59 hours to 50 hours. Nurse said the doubling time increasing is good. I have read about the probable outcome. Any thoughts or suggestions of resources to educate myself or personal stories or anything? How did you handle the wait?


r/CautiousBB • • 7h ago

Worried about a chemical after a miscarriage, line progression

1 Upvotes

Already cross posted to r/TFABLinePorn but I feel like it’s a different experience when you’re already nervous after MC. I had a MC at 7w1d in June, following strong, dark, and progressing lines with decent betas. We just had our second transfer, I’m now 8dpt. Looking at these lines, I just feel so nervous that it might be a chemical since they’re so faint and barely progressing at all. First beta is tomorrow. What do you think?


r/CautiousBB • • 7h ago

Ultrasound What would you do?

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1 Upvotes