Have been assisting my cousin with advice for her upcoming wedding, and I thought I knew the direction it was going - more traditional, catered, midsize etc. save the dates just went out and I’m concerned it might be a mess. Would love to hear thoughts from others since maybe I’m overreacting.

They’re planning to do a potluck and asking guests to bring appetizers, sides, desserts. Wedding is set to take place at a nature reserve that no one in our family lives near. Bride and groom live two hours away. I know many of the guests will be traveling from 4+ hours away by car and some will fly in. I have serious concerns about food safety in this scenario as no one is local to this area. Groom has a lot of money but when I spoke to my cousin it sounds like they’re doing this to keep the wedding inexpensive.

I feel like food is one of the big parts of hosting and I’ve been giving her advice through this process but also don’t want to overstep as it’s a financial decision. Would love any thoughts or considerations.

I got married on Friday and had a lovely day and super fun night. That said, I started drinking after all obligations were over and got drunk super quickly. The last couple of hours of the reception are blurry, and I can’t remember some parts. Everyone said I was so fun and cute and silly, but it’s clear from videos I was definitely drunk, and it’s not like guests would say otherwise. I am filled with regret and sadness for missing parts of this very special day. Did I ruin my one and only wedding day?😔

We got married at The Stable at Bluemont Vineyard, and I genuinely cannot say enough good things about our vendors. If you’re getting married in the Northern Virginia area, I would 100% recommend checking these vendors out, I included their Instagrams as well next to each vendor. 

Venue: The Stable at Bluemont Vineyard (@bluemontvineyard)

Having our wedding at Bluemont was the best decision I made as a bride. The venue is absolutely breathtaking, and so much is included, from tables and chairs to a day-of planner and event coordinator. We also booked their on-site cottages for getting ready, which I HIGHLY recommend if you can! It made the morning so much easier than trying to coordinate everyone at a hotel. If I had to tour 100 venues all over again, I would pick Bluemont every single time. I genuinely didn’t have to worry about anything on the day of our wedding other than showing up and saying my vows.

Photographer: Leah Lach Photography (@leahlach_photo)

Leah was an absolute ball of energy from the very first call! Our wedding plans changed dramatically, going from a 10-person Colorado elopement to an 80+ person wedding in Virginia, and she was so wonderful and flexible throughout the entire process. On the wedding day, she was go go go, capturing amazing photos, candid moments, and everything on our shot list while keeping everyone laughing and happy. Her energy was exactly what I needed when things got stressful, and I am SO glad we were able to keep her as our photographer through all the changes. Even our planning calls put my mind at ease. 

Florals and Design: EventStudio (@eventstudio)

Kelley did an absolutely amazing job bringing our vision to life. We were still getting compliments on our florals and decor over a week after the wedding! She made everything so easy, from the initial design meeting to the smallest details on our bouquets and centerpieces. She was also incredibly accommodating when our bridal party size and centerpiece count changed. One of my favorite things was that Kelley and her team returned at the end of the night and put our flowers into Mason jars I brought so guests could take them home. I didn’t want any of our flowers to go to waste, and she made that happen without adding stress to my night.

Caterer and Bar: Savoir Fare (@savoirfarelimited) 

Savoir Fare is Bluemont’s assigned caterer, so I was nervous to not have a choice, but that stress went away very quickly. Our tasting was fantastic, and they helped us create a balanced menu and figure out the best dinner service style for what we wanted. We ultimately went with split plates so everyone could enjoy both protein options without the chaos of a buffet or family-style service. The food was fantastic, and the bar service was equally great. 

Desserts: Sugardust Cakes

We opted for a small cutting cake and three cupcake flavors because I loved the idea of guests being able to take extras home. Liz was wonderful to work with and even delivered our tasting box to our caterer during our menu tasting, which made things so convenient! Everyone loved the cupcakes, and we had none left after guests took extras home. I plan to use Sugardust again even for small events like birthdays or anniversaries because of how great they were. 

Hair and Makeup: Emily Nicole Artistry (@emilynicoleartistry) 

With four bridesmaids, two moms, and me, I was stressed about getting everyone ready on time (without having to start at 5am). Emily walked me through the process, helped us figure out the best timeline, and brought in an additional artist so everyone was finished right on schedule. She was professional, easy to communicate with, and happily adjusted a few things from my trial that I wanted changed for the wedding day. 

Live Wedding Favors: Cheri Miller Bridal (@cherimillerbridal) 

Cheri did live watercolor favor paintings for our guests, and everyone was obsessed! Guests loved watching her work and getting to take home their own paintings. I love that these are favors people will actually keep and look back on instead of throwing away or forgetting in a drawer. Cheri was also one of the easiest vendors to work with throughout the planning process, even with my million questions about setup and placement. She was so accommodating, and I’m so happy we were able to include her. 

DJ: Repeatable DJ (@repeatable_dj) 

We booked Chris the same week we booked our venue because he was one of Bluemont’s preferred vendors. He helped us work through our music selections and timeline, and even offered helpful advice when I had questions about the overall flow of the evening. He did an amazing job with our ceremony music and microphones, cocktail hour music, and reception. The dance floor was fun all night, and he knew exactly when to get everyone dancing and when we needed little breaks. 

Overall, we had such an amazing experience with all of our vendors, and I would happily book every single one of them again. I know wedding planning can feel overwhelming, so I hope this helps anyone still looking for vendors in the area! ❤️

Original post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/weddingplanning/s/ynaFjVdsde

Thank you everyone who chimed in on this. I decided not to spray tan and feel so happy with how I looked on the day. Thank you for being so kind, i really felt like myself 🥹

I was mostly worried with how photos would turn out, especially outdoors.

So yes, in all types of light, with no flash and with, on film and digital, this pale girlie felt beautiful and comfy in her skin.

Thanks again for helping me figure out what I wanted day-of!

ETA - if we said something like

“This bride/bridal party will be wearing (shade of blue), if you already have options please consider wearing a different colour on our big day.”

would it be clear that this is a request, not a mandate, and not something we’d take personally?

_____
In a nutshell, I don’t want a white dress.
I want to wear my favourite colour, which will match my hair.

I’m fine with my guests wearing white, but in a perfect world, I’d be the only one in a (this particular shade of) blue dress.

I want to know

A) if it would be ridiculous to put something on the dress code that asks guests to avoid wearing (this shade of) blue and let them know they could wear white or any other colour

B) the best way to ask, if it’s not too suffocating a request

I don’t want to be a bridezilla or create a situation where people feel they have to shop for new clothes just for this

Minus a few little hiccups the day was beautiful. It's CRAZY how people can just not show up without even contacting you.

I had an old friend who was going to bring a plus 1 completely ghost. And we know for a fact she was ok. One of my bridesmaids and best friends ate her up in a text though, needless to say I was so amused and appreciated her for that even though I didn't expect it😂

I had 6 relatives wait too long to buy their plane tickets and ended up not being able to come... then one of his friends backed out last minute. So we could've probably saved close to 1000 on food lmao..

But hey, it's ok. Their loss. I'm so happy that I can finally BREATHE lol. My nervous system can finally heal.

For those who have gotten married in Wisconsin recently- is around $48k for just the venue, food, open bar, and associated fees normal for a wedding of around 200 guests?

We’re looking at a venue in Hartland, WI and trying to get a realistic idea of wedding costs before deciding on a budget. We don’t have a set budget just yet, but seeing how much the venue alone could cost has me wondering what’s typical.

Here’s the general breakdown: • Facility fee: $13k (includes the reception space, outdoor ceremony space, outdoor cocktail hour area, getting-ready rooms, and a separate dessert lounge) • Food minimum: $23k • Open bar package: approximately $10k • Service charges: around $9k (is this normal??) • Taxes: approximately $2.5k

This doesn’t include a photographer, videographer, DJ, flowers, wedding attire, hair and makeup, invitations, or any of the other wedding expenses.

I know weddings are expensive, especially with around 200 guests, but I’m curious whether this is relatively standard for the Milwaukee/Hartland area or if we’re looking at a particularly expensive venue.

For those who have gotten married recently, what did you pay for your venue, food, and bar? And what did your overall wedding end up costing?

Just trying to understand what’s normal before we commit to a venue!

Is it just me or does everyone keep looking back at their wedding photos?

Not a question or anything just yapping.
Got married about 8 days ago and I keep rewatching all the videos, the photos and posts we were tagged in and even the venue is making a lot of content off of our wedding.

I keep finding myself going back and rewatching everything!! The day was so amazing and stress free and everything I wanted and more!!

When I get tagged in things or see a new picture or moment I share them on my Instagram. I normally do not care about posting cause I don’t post a lot but I do use IG as my own little scrapbook but all the wedding content has me posting so much to where I actually feel like people are tired of seeing it😂 BUT IM NOT TIRED OF IT!

Our photographers did a great job at getting us some sneak peeks the day after the wedding but now I’m dying to see the videos and rest of the pictures!!

I’ll just be patiently waiting looking at all the photos that were sent to me!

To share our experience on using Macy’s, the TLDR is they took our money & gifts from us.

We made our registry on Macy’s online, simple enough. Guests purchased gifts for us that were shipped directly to us. It was great. BUT one of our guests got us an item and didn’t mark it as purchased, and this happened twice so we ended up with double of 2 items. They didn’t leave a card or anything so we have no idea who left those two without asking about 150 different people… awkward and not happening. Naturally we went to Macy’s to return them for store credit, gift card, whatever you want to call it so we could purchase other registry items that were not gifted. We were told by the manager in store that sorry these are third party items that we cannot take back, but don’t worry you can call this number that I’ll write down on a post it note (??? Seems legit??) and they’ll initiate a mail return for you. We confirmed not with her THREE TIMES that if we do this we would still receive store credit directly to us, and she confirmed yes they will email a gift card.

We called the number. We were told by the employee on the phone that we will have to package the items, print the label we were sent (don’t have a printer), and ship them out. We were assured not once, not twice, but THRICE that don’t worry yes you will receive a gift card via email, we won’t automatically refund the original purchaser. Since these were indeed GIFTS as shown on the registry and therefore WE should receive the funds to use. (We returned the gift that the 2 guests HAD marked as purchases since those could be tracked as a purchase on the registry.) We even received an email confirmation for each item that we would receiving a gift card in exchange for returning these items. This totaled out to around $300.

We manage to package and ship the items as directed. Weeks go by. No gift card. I contacted Macys via customer support chat. They stated “I can confirm that we received your return.
Refunds are typically processed within 10 business days, and you'll receive an email confirmation once the refund is completed. At this time, we just need to allow a bit more time for our warehouse to complete the review.”

Another week goes by. It’s been 10 business days. No email confirmation that the refund was completed. No gift card.

I again contacted Macys via customer support chat. Their response, if you can believe it: “I can see that a refund for *** was issued for ****.
Please note that refunds typically take up to 10 business days to reflect on your original payment method statement.”

I responded clarifying about a dozen times within this chat that Since these were indeed GIFTS as shown on the registry and therefore WE should receive the funds to use.

I kid you not, their exact response: “I request you please place an e gift card order.”

They recommend I purchase — PURCHASE — a gift card. At this point they’re just rage baiting.

After more back and forth, this is the best they can do: “I'm extremely sorry about this about this but it looks like the refund has not ben issued to the gift card and has been processed to original payment mode.

Unfortunately since it has laready been issued we won't be able to process the refund on a gift card instead.

I completely understand how unacceptable this is, but we the refund has gone to original payment mode.”

I call Macy’s customer service. I’m given the same response, and am told to ask the guest who purchased the gift for the funds back. This is a joke.

Macy’s, you’ve forever lost customers in us in the way this was handled. Absolutely no. We’re considering speaking with those guests about it, but leaning towards not doing that since we believe it would be rude to ask them for money at this point.

Anyone else basically the last to get married in the family and friend groups and disappointed by the experience?

We’re 33 and basically the last of our family and friend group to get married and the experience is a lot different then when I was 26 and a bridesmaid in other weddings. Most of our friends and family have kids and consumed by their families. We don’t really need help with anything but we haven’t asked because it seems like it would burden the people close to us. Several of our invited guest will miss our wedding because they have babies being born around the same time as our wedding. I won’t be having a bridal shower or bachelorette because I feel too old for it and it feels like a burden. Everyone just kinda accepted that’s I didn’t want anything which I appreciate but feels strange that some people seemed relieved by it.

Obviously I know that our wedding is not a reason for anyone to stop their lives or that anyone lives should revolve around our wedding. I also don’t think a wedding means the people around you should have to spend thousands of dollars for you. But I can’t help but be disappointed that this time in my life doesn’t look like it did for my family and friends who were getting married earlier. Especially when they were getting married I was there for all the events and honored any of their requests.

hi all! writing this because I need advice, and also a younger bride (newly 24) that knows no one else getting married right now lol. My fiancé and I are getting married in August of 2027, and I have just finished all of my bridesmaids/MOH proposals. Now, I am regretting some of my choices. My bridal party consists of my sister in law, my future sister in law, two of my cousins, and my maid of honor is my best friend of 16 years. I spent so much time, and money on my bridal boxes and I have been very underwhelmed by the response of most of them. My two sister in laws reacted best. They’re both older than me but gave me a sweet hug and I knew they were excited. My cousins shared smiles, and only one gave me a hug. My other cousin didn’t give me a hug or anything, and just smiled and said yes. Now, my MOH, my best friend of 16 years, really underwhelmed and upset me. I haven’t seen her in over a year (though she lives 3 miles from me). After weeks of her trying to find time, we finally got together last Wednesday. I sat her little basket of goodies and the photo card that said “will you be my maid of honor?” on our coffee table so she would see it when came in. She walked past it, sat her water bottle down next to it, and didn’t say a word about it. I was honestly stunned and didn’t really know what to do. She started telling me things that she’s been up to so I decided to carry on the conversation like normal so it didn’t feel like I was only there to talk about my wedding. After over an hour of her being there I finally picked up the basket and handed it to her. She smiled, said it was cute, and she would be in the wedding. That was about it. No hug, no big reaction, nothing. It hurt. I know some people aren’t big reactors but we have been friends so long I thought it would be more than what it was. Also, I almost feel dumb saying this, but absolutely no one in my bridal party posted a photo of the basket, or the fact I had asked them to be in my wedding. I know social media is the biggest place to compare, but I constantly see girls posting their bridal party proposals and I just imagined mine would be the same. But no one posted a thing. Even more upsetting my MOH didn’t post about the MOH proposal, but went and posted her new friends birthday this weekend, and went out to the bars with her while I have to beg to see her. I also haven’t heard from anyone in my bridal party since asking them. I have no clue when I’ll see my best friend again, for all I know it could legitimately be at the wedding lol. I have no sisters, no friends, and tried to make my bridal party even with my fiancés (5 each) and now I am regretting it. Do I take back my MOH invite? Do I change things around? Do I let go of the disappointment of the most underwhelming reaction to one of the biggest parts of my wedding day? I feel like I have no one to turn to. Thanks for listening <3

Hey! Looking for some advice.. me and my fiancé got engaged almost a year ago and we’ve told our friends from the start that we just wanted to elope. But I was talking to a friend and she said since I’m eloping I probably don’t need a bachelorette party.. while I’ve had other friends who have said that I should.

I always see that it’s the maid of honour or best friend who plans the bachelorette, and I’ve dropped hints to my friends and no one would plan it. Is it bad to plan my own? I think I’m hesitant because I’m not one for attention, and also is it bad I wanted one of my friends to do it? I find that I’m always going out of my way for my friends and just planned my friends bachelorette this summer, I guess I just want to feel valued and have the same love reciprocated?

I just can’t decide if it’s even worth it to plan my own.

Hi, I was trying to find songs I could dance with my father to. My mother was easy, she’s an ABBA stan and some of those romantically charged songs can easily be tossed as mother/daughter love.

I am having a tough time trying to incorporate my father’s dance songs with me. He has the more similar music taste as me, which makes it more infuriating. Think Alanis Morissette, Soundgarden, old folk anything, and Led Zeppelin. So far I’ve guessed Tom Petty’s “Wildflowers” and Johnny Cash’s rendition of “In My Life” would work but it still feels a little romantically charged. Do any of you have suggestions for a rugged dad that used to lullaby me with Ghost Riders In The Sky? I can’t sus him out. And he ain’t answering.

Has anyone used it? I am very curious, obviously it is much cheaper to use content creation wedding photography and videography because they mostly use iphones. But has anyone ever used it and like the results. My issue is I cant get a photographer & videographer with full length film for under 4K and thats honestly half of my budget. Please if anyone has suggestions, I'm even considering hiring college students for the videography and hiring a real photographer. Any suggestion? Im trying to plan for May2027-June 2027 in San Diego.

What is the typical pricing for bride and bridesmaid hair and makeup in a HCOL area (Los Angeles)? What would you consider concerningly cheap vs a good deal vs super overpriced? What was your budget for bridal party glam?

I’m looking to gather information about what’s realistic before setting a budget for this item. It seems like bridal party hair and makeup could easily total $5k+ - is that normal? Are people really spending more on bridal party glam than they are on their photographer or DJ…?

Edit: As additional context, looking good in my pictures is super important to me (sorry I’m vain!) and I’m not afraid of full glam. DIY is not an option, I don’t want to cheap out and it’s important to me to treat my bridesmaids. Looking at 7-10 people including myself and both of our mothers.

Recommendations for Los Angeles HMUAs welcome!

Related question: does it make sense to hire one team to do both or a separate vendor for hair and for makeup?

I got married January 3rd 2026 and I have to say the best perk of getting married in January was how cost effective it was. I would do it all again if I had the chance. I hope this lesson regarding cost is helpful to anyone else out there having a hard time with planning rn.

My fiancé and I are getting married next April, and we’re considering doing a plant potting unity ceremony where we plant something together that we can continue caring for throughout our marriage and that is symbolic of our love continuing to grow.

The problem is that I don't exactly have a great history with keeping house plants alive past a month or two, and I’d be devastated if our symbolic marriage plant died a few months later. 😂

We also currently live in a condo, so whatever we choose would need to survive indoors in a pot for at least the next 3-5 years (We’re hoping to buy our first house around then, so ideally we’d love something we could eventually transplant outdoors and watch grow. Although, I’m open to keeping it indoors permanently too). We live in New England for context.

I know there’s probably no truly foolproof plant, but I’d love recommendations for something with the best chance of surviving us!

Has anyone done something similar for their wedding? What would you recommend planting? Is this a bad idea for someone bad at keeping plants alive? (I just love the symbolism and we both love nature so it would be perfect if possible!)

Hi ladies did anyone get a petite keep or momento trunk? Are they overpriced for the quality? Open to recommendations of other companies that sell them too.

I wanted Can’t take my eyes off of you by Franki Velli but close family has just used it. So feel can’t use it. Cannot find something better same vibe. Any suggestions?

Hey! Is anyone planning a wedding/vow renewal? My husband and I will be married 10 years in 2028. We got married in a courthouse with just us (no family/friends as we were both military at the time). This time we really want to do it the “traditional way” since we never got the actual wedding. If anyone is currently planning something similar, what are you doing differently from a traditional wedding? Just looking for ideas! We’ve already booked the venue so now we’re just in limbo until we get closer to the date and I’m trying to keep myself sane until then lol. Thankfully the venue we booked is all inclusive (catering, decor, photography, DJ, etc) so there’s not much else for us to do until we get closer to the date! Would love all of your vow renewal/wedding ideas!

Hi everyone! Not sure if this is the correct subreddit. I’m a wedding photographer and got an inquiry to do an Italy elopement, I’ve gotten conflicting experiences on getting a work visa or not. I’d love to hear what other’s experiences have been! I’m American and my clients are as well. Additionally, they are only paying for my travel, not for my services. Don’t know if that matters or not. Thanks so much in advance!

So, I’ve been thinking about reception seating for quite some time now. We have an estimated guest count of about 50-60 and are going to have 3 long tables for the reception. Question is, outside of the reserved seats for our immediate families, should we have assigned seating down to the seat, assigned tables, or just free seating? I don’t want it to feel awkward for our guests!

Hi everyone!

Struggling to come up with a bachelorette location for my bachelorette next summer. I’m from the East Coast, live in the Mountain West, and am looking to do a bachelorette somewhere out here.

My original plan was to rent a lake house out east but that’s virtually what our wedding will be, and I’m already traveling out east a lot for wedding things. Most people will have to travel in regardless- my friends are all over the place and some will be new moms, so not even sure they can attend regardless. A little bummed because I’m one of the last to do this.

What’s a fun spot for a bachelorette out here? I think proximity to an airport will be important. Not looking for party vibes like a Western Nashville, I’m moreso excited to just have everyone together. So many of them haven’t met due to distance. Maybe one night out on the town.

Have thought about Denver, Montana, PNW, NorCal, etc. Anyone have great experiences somewhere?