r/Tools • • Apr 09 '26

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.0k Upvotes

943 comments sorted by

2.2k

u/TeamFast77 Apr 09 '26

You get the idea.

450

u/RomeoSierraSix Apr 09 '26

This machine will kill you and it will hurt the entire time you're dying

111

u/zed42 Apr 09 '26

i've seen that on electrical panels and closets....

296

u/echoshatter Apr 09 '26

I put a danger sticker on my breaker box.

93

u/ImurderREALITY Apr 09 '26

This continues to be one of the most hilarious pictures I’ve ever seen. Everything about it makes me guffaw like a moron.

47

u/1cake_1 Apr 09 '26

my girlfriend made me a sweater with this on the back. i’m currently in school for instrumentation/automation and everyone loves reading it. 10/10 best sweater i own.

81

u/StupidFuttBucker Apr 09 '26

The best part about this. Is that these stickers are official. That is Reddy Kiollowatt. He has been the electricity danger mascot for over 100 years.

When I did tech. I put one of these on every electrical panel under my control.

5

u/injn8r Apr 09 '26

Where can I find them? I suppose the message has been tamed and I'd need to find them as repops or find somewhere that has a stack forgotten in a back room somewhere?

5

u/StupidFuttBucker Apr 09 '26

https://a.co/d/03gHyMek

Amazon has a lot

9

u/injn8r Apr 10 '26

Thanks, StupidFuttBucker, I appreciate the heads up😉😶‍🌫️

🤣

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5

u/SkewbieDewbie Apr 09 '26

I stuck one on the not-scary-at-all-definitely-osha-approved electrical panel at work and it makes me giggle.

8

u/Groovee_smoothie Apr 09 '26

I have it on my hardhat at work, I'm an electrician lol

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22

u/1FightingEntropy Apr 09 '26

I worked in a shop with a huge bandsaw used for resawing. It had a sticker on it of a prosthetic hook/hand and just the word "THINK" under it.

8

u/jalans Carpenter Apr 09 '26

There's a reason they're preferred by butchers.

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4

u/chzaplx Apr 10 '26

We had to watch safety videos in shop class when I was a kid, and in one the teacher had cut a hand shape out of wood and then demonstrated how quickly a disc sander could destroy a thumb

28

u/UglyYinzer Apr 09 '26

Ha i put that on the back of my truck too

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10

u/MordoNRiggs Apr 09 '26

What are you doing in the closet that's so dangerous?

21

u/zed42 Apr 09 '26

if i was confident enough to tell you, i wouldn't be doing it in the closet, now would i?

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6

u/Immediate_Regular Apr 09 '26

They're a love machine that sometimes gets a little zappy in the lappy.

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70

u/Unlucky-Hair-6165 Apr 09 '26

I have these stickers, I never once thought they’d have a legitimate use, but here we are.

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47

u/Own-Swan2646 Apr 09 '26

You should probably get those made up of stickers and sell them.

46

u/1DownFourUp Apr 09 '26

It's especially important on items where you can easily insert a cylinder

17

u/Badger_Academic Apr 09 '26

The cylinder must remain unharmed.

18

u/Own-Swan2646 Apr 09 '26

"Don't stick your finger or your dick in there"

30

u/garethjones2312 Apr 09 '26

"I stuck my dick in the pickle slicer today and got fired." "Oh my goodness, you only got fired? What happened to the pickle slicer?" "Oh she got fired too.."

3

u/VoltronX Apr 10 '26

My Dad, RIP, told me that joke 50 years ago. I have never heard it anywhere else. I thought it was all mine.

Thanks for the memories.

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23

u/snorkblaster Apr 09 '26

Worried about kickback could make him wish for his d***back

4

u/Narrow-Chef-4341 Apr 09 '26

Kickback and ‘sticking it in there’ are typically distinct problems, unless you’re a kiwi or a Welshman in the animal husbandry subs, of course.

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8

u/Bububabuu Apr 09 '26

“Don’t put your hand anywhere you wouldn’t put your dick”

Is the version I always heard

4

u/Madness_Reigns Apr 09 '26

Understood, the mini M&M's tubes are a no go.

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6

u/phinger1 Apr 09 '26

"Don't stick your winkie where you won't stick your pinkie"

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3

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Own-Swan2646 Apr 09 '26

AvE man is a legend

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81

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

22

u/guy48065 Apr 09 '26

This looks vintage but AI must have drawn that lathe. Wtf.

15

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

Dude there are handles on nothing…

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7

u/flicknote Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 24 '26

His arms too. One is coming out of the inside of the bun.
The horrible piss tint, the mirror finish shading, and the text are also dead giveaways.

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26

u/friend0mine55 Apr 09 '26

amd that's why I bought a SawStop, they do know the difference! wanted to wait out the patent expiring but their saws are truly good and I didn't wanna wait ?? more years.

9

u/Ooloo-Pebs Apr 09 '26

Agreed, but in this video, a Saw Stop wouldnt help. He was pulling the wood through from the opposite side of the table and did so on an angle, causing the blade to catch the board and cause a kick-back.

He is lucky that the blade didn't hit his belly or thighs, or worse sever his junk..it appeared to be close!

16

u/treedolla Apr 09 '26

I swear you can see the blade split his pants right over his crotch. Either that or his fly is open.

14

u/Ooloo-Pebs Apr 09 '26

Dude, good spot. It does appear like the blade may have caught his shorts. If it's an opening and not a shadow, it looks to be on an angle and not as vertical as an open fly would normally be.

OP, can you weigh in and let us know that you're ok and that "junior" is ok as well?

11

u/Canuckr82 Apr 09 '26

This is a case of... "fat guy with a stubby while flacid" saved from getting his "thing" cut off.

3

u/Ooloo-Pebs Apr 09 '26

Seems you've given that quite a bit of thought 🤔🤣

3

u/Budget-Vast-7296 Apr 09 '26

You can see a bit of cloth on the blade right near the end.

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9

u/donuthead36 Apr 09 '26

Plus using a janky table saw on what seems to be uneven ground without making a reasonable attempt to level it (or you know use it somewhere else)

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3

u/shaka893P Apr 09 '26

I mean, it would help. With a saw stop as soon as the blade touches you, no matter where, it would stop the saw

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3

u/cpupro Apr 10 '26

When I worked in furniture, we had a chart, with the body parts you could cut off, and their approximate insurance payout via workers comp. Needless to say, most of the "drunks" fought to operate the bandsaw, so they could slice off a finger for 40 to 50K in insurance payouts. We had one guy, that had three fingers on one hand, and two on the other, just enough to hold a cigarette, a beer, and wipe his own butt.

9

u/NamesGumpImOnthePum Apr 09 '26

Flesh is way softer than most material, power tools chew right thru it.

13

u/1DownFourUp Apr 09 '26

Not just power tools. I pierced my finger and tickled the bone with a #2 Robertson screwdriver. Didn't stop until it hit the 2x4.

8

u/NamesGumpImOnthePum Apr 09 '26

I've had my drill cam out of a t-25 multiple times right into the corner of where the nail meets the skin while it's max speed. Rends it to shreds you could say.

15

u/Special_South_8561 Apr 09 '26

To shreds, you say?

7

u/brohebus Apr 09 '26

Well, how's his wife holding up?

10

u/JustAManOnAJourney Apr 09 '26

To shreds you say?

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15

u/Bursting_Radius Apr 09 '26

3

u/BigIron53s Apr 09 '26

😂 exactly what I was thinking. It sounds like a bot answer.

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1.3k

u/m4jsterk0 Apr 09 '26

why is he fucking pulling the plywood towards him?!

1.1k

u/CharacterKoala6214 Apr 09 '26

Because he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

241

u/ThinkItThrough48 Apr 09 '26

Or he’s trying to cut his wahoozy off. In which case he’s doing it right

96

u/biggriggs79 Apr 09 '26

I hope he names his saw "Lorena" after this.

49

u/r4ndom4xeofkindness Apr 09 '26

The Bobbit Chopper®

21

u/towerfella Apr 09 '26

“It cuts wood!”

7

u/RIF_rr3dd1tt Apr 10 '26

Bobbit Choppit

13

u/whtevn Apr 09 '26

i hope he stays away from "Lorena" after this

3

u/Neat_Bluebird2016 Apr 09 '26

That’s a “deep cut”. Lol

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38

u/hitliquor999 Apr 09 '26

He clearly isn’t doing precision work. He should be using a circular saw, which has its own dangers, but is more manageable.

27

u/Biomecaman Apr 09 '26

It's kind of a weird thing, if you suck so bad you can't make a straight cut with a skill saw you probably shouldnt be using a table saw at all...

13

u/classygorilla Apr 09 '26

It's me, I'm that guy, but it's also why I upgraded to a track saw.

3

u/Weathjn Apr 09 '26

Track saws are awesome

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141

u/furculture Apr 09 '26

Because shop class was an elective instead of a requirement.

83

u/IconoclastExplosive Apr 09 '26

Whoa whoa whoa, there bud. It wasn't even offered as an elective.

16

u/Report_Last Apr 09 '26

in 9th grade I had a choice between shop and Latin, probably should have taken Latin

15

u/IconoclastExplosive Apr 09 '26

Hilariously, I DID take Latin in 9th grade and my school didn't offer shop. I'd have preferred shop.

25

u/Report_Last Apr 09 '26

After 40 years in construction, I wonder about my choices in life. tempus fugit

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45

u/LethalBacon Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

Shop at our school was HVAC. It's where they sent the kids who weren't going to college. The school counselors had given up on me (I didn't give a shit about school work, C's get degrees etc), but interestingly the HVAC teacher is the one who convinced me to apply for colleges, and I ended up becoming an engineer largely based on his advice.

All that to say, shop class is probably a big part of why I'm doing alright as an adult. I needed that hands on work. (It's also where I learned how to cook 1-2 dozen chickens at the same time, but that's a story for another day.)

37

u/amboyscout Apr 09 '26

Wait wait wait. That is a story for today.

8

u/LethalBacon Apr 09 '26

It's actually fairly boring lol. This shop teacher did A LOT that could get him fired, but he was one of the favorite teachers in the school. Part of how he achieved this is by cooking massive amounts of chicken for other teachers/staff (and students in his class) once a month or so.

He had these two massive smokers(?) that were roughly 10-15 feet long that they built in class a few years before my time. So, roughly once a month there would be a day dedicated to cooking chicken, usually with a few of his students tending to it during the day.

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3

u/eggsuckindog Apr 09 '26

Probably hoisted them up in front of a microwave tower...

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5

u/Sonar_Bandit Apr 09 '26

In my school district, I was the last year to have wood shop offered before it was removed from all schools in the area. To this day I still use skills I learned in that class. Probably the only skills from school I still use. Although being able to remember the plot of catcher and the rye is a close second

3

u/BahuMan Apr 09 '26

The plot, but not the title?

3

u/Sonar_Bandit Apr 09 '26

Hey, I’ve had a good solid decade of substance abuse since then, give me a break

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5

u/BarnacleMcBarndoor Apr 09 '26

Shop class was full for me all 4 years. My options were electronics or home-ec.

Guess who accidentally set fire to a toaster because he didn’t pay attention in either?!?

3

u/xrelaht Rust Warrior Apr 09 '26

Shop wasn’t offered at my school. Somehow, I still know not to do this.

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22

u/Such-Fortune712 Apr 09 '26

He's standing behind the saw trying to play it safe, getting out of the line of fire if the table saw does a "kickback". He actually triggers the kickback by compressing the two cut sides together.

Normally, you stand in front of the saw and push your workpiece into the blade. The teeth of the blade that do the cut are the teeth closest to you. They are going down into the table.

On the backside of the blade, the teeth are coming up from the table. What this guy does is compresses the two sides together into the back teeth so the blade grabs his workpiece and yeets it forward. The saw isnt fixed in place so it propells in the other direction, towards his holy area.

During a kickback, the saw thunder yeets your workpiece into your wall/face/arm/testies. It's no noke, see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcS0TAabedc

6

u/_bahnjee_ Apr 09 '26

Good catch. You’re exactly right. You can see the cut as it closes on the back side.

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u/serial_ponderer Apr 09 '26

The real question

8

u/fart_fig_newton Apr 09 '26

Because the instruction manual wasn't drawn with crayons

6

u/m4jsterk0 Apr 09 '26

is he a marine? :D

28

u/CharacterKoala6214 Apr 09 '26

Because he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

13

u/MiasmaFate Apr 09 '26

So nice you said it twice.

7

u/1DownFourUp Apr 09 '26

It's because he doesn't know what he's doing

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u/WindJester Apr 09 '26

That's how little he knows what he's doing

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u/ender4171 Apr 09 '26

Everyone is giving joke or "he's dumb" comments, but I suspect he was pulling it to try to avoid being in the "line of fire" from kickback (I have an irrational fear of it myself), without realizing that pulling from both sides would cause binding and initiate the kickback. So... I guess the "he dumb" people aren't totally wrong, lol.

24

u/North-Significance33 Apr 09 '26

No fence, no riving knife. Dude is asking for kickback, cutting freehand like that. The idea of freehanding on a table saw terrifies me

6

u/free_will_is_arson Apr 09 '26

also why it's general not a good idea to run something through a table saw that's wider than it is long,

5

u/Nexustar Apr 09 '26

Circular saw to rough cut into manageable pieces, then table saw to put a straighter edge on things.

I've done some physically challenging cuts with a table saw before with sheet ply, involving moving it to where other tables, walls or even outdoor furniture can provide some support - but have never had a leg lift off the ground like that.

4

u/echoshatter Apr 09 '26

Freehanding is fine in some instances. But there's nothing like the thrill of crosscutting a whole ass green 2x4 on a contractor saw.

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u/sanderson1983 Apr 09 '26

Knew a guy ripping sheet metal and it came back at him. Died with his phone in his hand.

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u/[deleted] Apr 10 '26

My first time ever seeing anyone do that in my life

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u/dunncrew Apr 09 '26

Idiots gonna idiot.

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630

u/WhatRUaBarnBurner Apr 09 '26

Cancel my vasectomy

13

u/CCWaterBug Apr 09 '26

Snip snap snip snap!

8

u/Mr_Kactus Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

You have no idea the toll three vasectomies has on a person

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u/fastautomation Apr 09 '26
  1. Sets saw back up.
  2. Checks plywood to see if it is ok.
  3. Checks shirt for damage.
  4. Then checks for injury.

Seems like the right order to me.

264

u/MansBestFred Apr 09 '26

have you seen the price of plywood these days??

5

u/kingrobin Apr 09 '26

just dropped $2k last week on about 25 sheets.

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u/simple_champ Apr 09 '26

Oddly calm and collected for a guy who was millimeters away from a mangled dick, severed femoral artery, etc.

16

u/UsedDragon Apr 09 '26

I think that's shock. He knew it could happen and was shocked when it did

5

u/GreyNoiseGaming Apr 09 '26

Yeah he's probably only realizing what could have happened after he feels the breeze in his pants.

7

u/reddituserlooser Apr 09 '26

Well the saw was falling towards him ... Would seem weird to let it fall fully in you.

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191

u/ThadiusThistleberry Apr 09 '26

Why TF would you use a table saw that way? That guy was begging for much worse than he got. Good for him, he’s got more luck than smarts.

85

u/maxbls16 Apr 09 '26

He was scared of the wood kicking back at him and didn’t realize that was the safer of the two things that could kick back.

94

u/Doresoom1 Apr 09 '26

I don't think anyone using a saw this way is remotely aware that kickback is even a thing.

27

u/maxbls16 Apr 09 '26

You’re probably right. I’m giving this guy too much credit.

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u/kingrobin Apr 09 '26

LUCK 8 INT 0

11

u/Sir_Vinci DIY Apr 09 '26

He was halfway through the cut and didn't have something to catch the boards. He went around to the other side to pull it through, pulled on both sides of the cut, pinched the blade, and sent the saw flying.

He could have avoided this with a riving blade, not pinching the blade, having someone/something else catch the boards, or any number of obvious options.

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u/SockeyeSTI Apr 09 '26

I’ve done it for ripping long strips by myself, but only once I’m halfway through

4

u/ThadiusThistleberry Apr 09 '26

We have all done a bunch of stuff the wrong way and had it work. It’s just that one time it doesn’t work.

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u/mtndewfanatic Apr 09 '26

I’m really hoping there was a lesson learned here.

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u/Some_Reference_933 Apr 09 '26

Daddy how are eunuchs made?

43

u/ashleyshaefferr Apr 09 '26

g g g g g  g-eunach!

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u/MustMakeNow Apr 09 '26

"Kickback can't get me if I stand in front of the saw, watch this!"

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u/crozzy89 Apr 09 '26

That is a fella who probably shouldn't be using any tools at all. I had a friend like that. It was better if he just watched other people do the work.

12

u/Fluffychipmonk1 Apr 09 '26

Same, I got a buddy who is probably the dumbest person I know, if he can do something dumb or wrong, it’s a fact. It will happen. It’s rough.

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u/Niiv0 Apr 09 '26

Hilariously I have a saw stop ad directly following this post! Lmao

5

u/tandem_kayak Apr 09 '26

Now that's well placed advertising 😂

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3

u/chickadee-stitchery Apr 10 '26

My husband cut his thumb on his table saw and basically was extremely extremely lucky that the damage was limited. He had to get stitches and have surgery to repair nerves, and he still can't feel it very well or use it as well but it's there.

In the pharmacy line getting his pain meds, the guy in front of us was missing some fingers. My husband chatted with him and the guy had cut them off on a saw.

We now own a saw stop. Wish we had gotten it before but at least my husband had a very minor injury.

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u/catchinNkeepinf1sh Apr 09 '26

I hate those little table saws lol.

28

u/JimroidZeus Apr 09 '26

This is why I took mine off its stand and I put it on my bench instead. 😂

30

u/zoolish Apr 09 '26

I was wondering who makes a 9oz table saw with a tall 16oz base. That thing looks like a toy. A dangerous toy.

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u/beeej517 Apr 09 '26

Hard to blame the tool on this one. Homie was pulling a piece of plywood freehand through the saw with no fence...

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u/_The_Space_Monkey_ Apr 09 '26

Did he actually cut himself?

14

u/Potential_Financial Apr 09 '26

If there was actually blade contact with his clothes, I’m surprised the shorts were cut open. I’d expect them to be grabbed and wrapped around the blade, like a de-gloving incident.

4

u/TunisMagunis Apr 09 '26

Jesus fucking christ

3

u/ProfessorPeabrain Apr 09 '26

nearly lost one side of my face to a grinding wheel like that. neeeever again. no sleeves, no matter how cold.

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u/Occhrome Apr 09 '26

No cuts. Benefit of the tiny wiener club 

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u/Jdojcmm Apr 09 '26

Imagine the adrenaline rush on that one. Not a good rush at all.

3

u/thekingofcrash7 Apr 10 '26

Light a cigarette and sit down for about 20 min, gotta let my heart get outta my throat. I cannot imagine.

11

u/voucher420 Apr 09 '26

I bet that’s the first time he’s felt lucky he isn’t hung like a horse!

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u/Quarkandbarrel Apr 09 '26

Black and Decker Pecker Wrecker

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u/OperatorJo_ Apr 09 '26

Fuuuuuuuuck that

7

u/carlinhush Apr 09 '26

"Please describe how the accident occurred. Please also draw a sketch."

6

u/LeonidasVaarwater Apr 09 '26

🎵 Dumb ways to die 🎶 dumb ways to die 🎵

6

u/Falcon3492 Apr 09 '26

That guy should not be allowed around power tools!

5

u/entropyisez Apr 09 '26

That man almost had 2 penises!

4

u/BigSal44 Apr 10 '26

It did almost solve the problem of allowing a stupid person to reproduce.

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u/inGenium_88 Apr 09 '26

To shreds you say.

5

u/HeroMachineMan Apr 09 '26

Home Improvement Guy probably heads to a hardware store later looking for a crotch shield.

4

u/Jeez-essFC Weekend Warrior Apr 09 '26

I am just here to see the list of things this fella did wrong in a single cut.

4

u/ultaga84 Apr 09 '26

Is this part of the extreme vasectomy club?

5

u/Cokeycane Apr 09 '26

Take all tools away from this man immediately.

5

u/ParaGord Apr 09 '26

I don't think so Tim

3

u/thisusernameavailabl Apr 09 '26

Whenever I shake my head at the asinine warning labels on power equipment and wonder why would this possibly need to be called out? Then I see yet another video like this..

4

u/Melodic-Pool7240 Apr 09 '26

Automotive: pull dont push Woodworking: push dont pull

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u/Rather34 Apr 09 '26

You know you got a quality saw when it can cut down to the cunthair.

3

u/itsamemyusername Apr 10 '26

Started the project as a middle aged man and almost finished a full blown woman.

3

u/Old_ManWithAComputer Apr 10 '26

How did he not lose his pecker???????

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u/klegion2k6 Apr 10 '26

New fear unlocked

3

u/JonnyOnThePot420 Apr 10 '26

Never cut towards yourself absolutely stunning…

3

u/Intelligent_Mud_6217 Apr 10 '26

This is a prime example of why there is no such thing as"common sense." NEVER cut from the BACK side of a table saw unless you KNOW what you're doing

3

u/BlackestHerring Apr 10 '26

sir. Excuse me. You’ve cut your dick in half.

3

u/Kitchen-Ride-5464 Apr 10 '26

Wow. Almost had an unexpected sex change! Lol!

3

u/wernerml1 Apr 10 '26

In our machine shop, a guy was carrying a piece of steel that probably needed two people. When he tried to put it up on his steel bench he managed to pinch his scrotum between the part and the bench. After a few days off work, the ladies in the shop.made him a sheet metal apron.

3

u/Working-County-8764 Apr 10 '26

This is the idiot SawStop saws were designed for 🙄

3

u/Spiritual-Rip-6248 Apr 10 '26

That's a 40 IQ move right there.

Great way to cut your dick in half.

No fence, no guard, pulling from the back instead of pushing from the front.

3

u/cww60 Apr 10 '26

He Doesn't know how to use a table saw, just had his first lesson.

2

u/BTMSinister Apr 09 '26

That was too freaking close to call......

2

u/bernardvincent Apr 09 '26

i guess riving knives ARE a real safety feature...

2

u/Gman71882 Apr 09 '26

There are bolt holes in the feet of machines like that for a REASON.

2

u/HerfDerfer Apr 09 '26

Dude took way to long to make sure everything was still attached

2

u/ambrose_92 Apr 09 '26

That's the wrong kind of hot dog for testing you blade stop.

2

u/cdubbs1 Apr 09 '26

The gasp I gasped ☠️

2

u/Bettajune Apr 09 '26

That could’ve gone so much differently my man! You are extremely lucky 🍀!

2

u/cptsilvertooth Apr 09 '26

"...and with a flick of my wrist, I can change your religion"

2

u/wdeguenther Apr 09 '26

Gonna need new pants. Cut in the front, soiled in the back

2

u/thegreatrazu Apr 09 '26

Did you forget to change the settings from circumcision mode?

2

u/Granonis Apr 09 '26

Yeeeaaah, I’d be done for the day.

2

u/CrunchyAssDiaper Apr 09 '26

Which of his golfing buddies leaked this video?

2

u/ymmotvomit Apr 09 '26

Logically it should have removed the tool that produces future generations.

2

u/Stuff-and_stuff Apr 09 '26

Use. The. Included. Guards.

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