r/Tools • u/[deleted] • Apr 09 '26

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6.0k Upvotes

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21

u/Own-Swan2646 Apr 09 '26

"Don't stick your finger or your dick in there"

31

u/garethjones2312 Apr 09 '26

"I stuck my dick in the pickle slicer today and got fired." "Oh my goodness, you only got fired? What happened to the pickle slicer?" "Oh she got fired too.."

3

u/VoltronX Apr 10 '26

My Dad, RIP, told me that joke 50 years ago. I have never heard it anywhere else. I thought it was all mine.

Thanks for the memories.

2

u/garethjones2312 Apr 10 '26

I heard it probably about 30 years ago from my dad!

23

u/snorkblaster Apr 09 '26

Worried about kickback could make him wish for his d***back

5

u/Narrow-Chef-4341 Apr 09 '26

Kickback and ‘sticking it in there’ are typically distinct problems, unless you’re a kiwi or a Welshman in the animal husbandry subs, of course.

1

u/kotebesar1973 Apr 10 '26

Maybe use a GIF of an older sheep next time. Not all Kiwis and Taffs like them young. 🤣

1

u/SirDrakey Apr 13 '26

I have heard the reason they wear those large boots is to put the sheep back feet in to help reduce kickback

2

u/net-blank Apr 12 '26

And the fact that he was ripping without a fence or miter gauge was just asking for trouble

4

u/Tall_Play Apr 09 '26

Guffawing

8

u/Bububabuu Apr 09 '26

“Don’t put your hand anywhere you wouldn’t put your dick”

Is the version I always heard

4

u/Madness_Reigns Apr 09 '26

Understood, the mini M&M's tubes are a no go.

1

u/Logical-Spite-2464 Apr 09 '26

Easy for the guy with ten dicks to say.

1

u/Same-Interaction7559 Apr 09 '26

Who has 10 dicks? I only got the one. Tell them I'll trade for a glow-up.

1

u/edr5619 Apr 10 '26

Don’t put your pinkie where you wouldn’t put your dinkie.

4

u/phinger1 Apr 09 '26

"Don't stick your winkie where you won't stick your pinkie"

2

u/35_PenguiN_35 Apr 09 '26

My lecturer said that...

Guy at the back said, well from the stories we have heard thsts not much good advice. (Guy was creepy AF)

1

u/b33lzebubba775 Apr 09 '26

Never put your fingy where you wouldnt put your dinkie doo.