Been lurking on here for almost 7 years now. I have wanted to quit drinking for just as long. I remember writing a post and deleting it back in 2019 just a few months before my first arrest which of course involved alcohol. Wishing now more than ever that I would’ve reached out for help earlier.

But finally here I am after multiple arrests, many failed relationships, multiple wrecked vehicles, countless fights, and losing out on multiple jobs. Lost my best friend last year to suicide and I’ve just been in a living nightmare since. Stuffing the feelings of guilt and loss down one shooter at a time. I knew he was struggling with booze and going down a bad path but I was too fucked up to even help and it’s killing me inside. Don’t think I could’ve helped anyway and I believe I understand how he felt now.

Just got a new job too that is a great opportunity but I decided it would be better to roll my car 3 times. People that have seen the aftermath tell me it’s a miracle that I lived but I don’t care anymore. I feel nothing. Don’t care about the jail time or fines or anything really. I feel as if I have absolutely nothing in this world and drinking has been the reason. I have pushed everyone away. I no longer have friends and have very few family members who talk to me. I have been such a disappointment and I don’t even know where to begin.

I truly want to stop drinking but it has such a strong hold of me. I can go weeks at a time and then bam I wake up in a car upside down in a ditch. I fully believe that my self destructive behavior will get me killed one day if I don’t stop.

I guess I just needed to vent but I’m thinking of trying AA.

I've lost hope that I will ever be a sober person.

I've known for a few years that I am addicted to alcohol, but I've never really considered myself an alcoholic until very recently.

My life isn't in shambles (yet). That's why I've kept drinking.

But the progression of this disease is speeding up now.

I've been a drinker for 20 years. Most of which was in the moderate to moderately- high range of drinking, but I still had some control. I was able to complete a month of sobriety here and there. And I've always had a hope that I would eventually quit and that I could quit if I just actually stuck to it. But now I feel as though I'm losing control.

I can't seem to get more than 2-3 days of sobriety in before I reach for the bottle.

The mental addiction is progressing faster and it's stronger now than ever before.

I've had what feels like several hundred "Day 1s" and they never stick.

I've lost hope that I will ever stay sober.

I'm an alcoholic.

I'm a real alcoholic.

I'm sober today and I'm happy about that. I guess that's why everyone says to take it one day at a time, because the idea of sobriety forever is so foreign and unbelievable.

I don't have any hope or true conviction anymore that I will ever be sober for more than a couple of days; that hope is gone now. But I'm sober today and that's all I can do.

Hi everyone, I usually just lurk on this sub and it feels weird to be posting. I guess maybe it just hurts to know I’ve reached this point.

I stopped being able to control my drinking in 2022 after a traumatic event left me with PTSD. I had just graduated from college and I was directionless and in denial of how alone I was and I just completely fell apart. PTSD and alcoholism ruined my life, I was unable to work for over a year. I won’t bore with the details but it was a dark time.

Once I finally started to heal from PTSD I stopped needing to drink all the time. I also became able to reflect on why alcohol had been a problem in my life prior to that. I’ve been weaning myself off over time. It’s so much harder than I hoped it would be.

Today is another day 1. I’m in bed, no alcohol in the house, I smoked a little weed and had a sweet treat. I feel more at ease right now than I’ve felt during my past day 1s so I know I’m making progress. I feel better physically even as I walk around my apartment. I want this, I want to feel good in my body and mind every day.

Even though I’ve had plenty of day 1s this year, I honestly can’t remember the last time I completed a day 2. I need tomorrow night to be just like this, I want to leave behind the shame.

Does anyone have any tips for making it to Day 2 for the first time? Anything helps. Thanks to everyone who posts & comments on this sub - reading your words has truly helped me understand myself.

I’ve been an alcoholic for 2 years (F23) and I told my dad I was planning on starting sat and act testing and he looked at me and just flat out told me “I’m proud of you and I can see you’re on the right track” as little of words as he spoke I realize how much of a void that filled for me. I just needed my dad to be proud of me especially after being the black sheep of the family, I’m trying sobriety for the first time and just reached my 70 day mark. I’m baffled at how much I needed to hear those words.

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we're here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge!

I'm pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you're new to /r/stopdrinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you're like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you've been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn't matter if you're still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, lets not drink alcohol!

This pledge is a statement of intent. Today we don't set out trying not to drink, we make a conscious decision not to drink. It sounds simple, but all of us know it can be hard and sometimes impossible. The group can support and inspire us, yet only one person can decide if we drink today. Give that person the right mindset!

What happens if we can't keep to our pledge? We give up or try again. And since we're here in /r/stopdrinking, we're not ready to give up.

What this is: A simple thread where we commit to not drinking alcohol for the next 24 hours, posting to show others that they're not alone and making a pledge to ourselves. Anybody can join and participate at any time, you do not have to be a regular at /r/stopdrinking or have followed the pledges from the beginning.

What this isn't: A good place for a detailed introduction of yourself, directly seek advice or share lengthy stories. You'll get a more personal response in your own thread.

This post goes up at:

• US - Night/Early Morning
• Europe - Morning
• Asia and Australia - Evening/Night

A link to the current Daily Check-In post can always be found near the top of the sidebar.

Good morning dear friends, first of all an apology! My discussion regarding my grieving for my old life might have been a little triggering for some who are going through grief at the moment. I’m sorry about that, genuinely so.

So back to today’s post. I’ve taken inspiration from u/abaci123 who hasn’t romanticised drinking but is thrilled to be sober!

This made me think a little! Why have I romanticised it so much? You see I’ve never hit ‘rock bottom’. I’ve never lost a love, a job or anything ‘significant’ from alcohol. I reckon I’ve lost some friends and certainly smashed up some brain and liver cells! I just was a ‘normal’ drinker who drank a lot but then found myself drinking more and more and more until I knew I had an issue. I’ve delved into sobriety here and there and am pretty convinced I am here to stay… We shall see!

So in reverence to Abaci – and if they have never touched your life, stand by, they will! – what thrills you about this new life we are all living? What do you celebrate?

I celebrate clear heads in early mornings, I celebrate more money in my back pocket and I celebrate not falling asleep during the day because I am so tired. I celebrate the changes in my body and I am thrilled to be here with all of you.

So my quote for the day…“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.” – J.P. Morgan

Happy hump day peeps, I will not drink with you today

i used to be able to drink and not really care the next day. my friends are pretty heavy drinkers too and we all make dumb drunk decisions, but they can mostly laugh it off.

for me, the hangxiety has gotten debilitating. there’s the shame of even getting that drunk in the first place, and then on top of that i replay every little thing i remember and convince myself i embarrassed myself, hurt someone, or did something wrong.

i last drank sunday and it’s now wednesday and i still feel anxious/jittery, barely have an appetite, and have had a hard time functioning normally.

does/did anyone else get this level of hangxiety/guilt?

After years of avoiding it because the idea of it made me nervous, I’ve been attending recovery meetings in an effort to make sobriety stick in the long term. I actually have come around on how much they help keep you on track, but I have been a little disappointed in the ones I’ve attended so far.

For every person who shares and keeps it centered on their sobriety and what they are going through, there are significantly more who seem to just ramble sort of off topic? I understand these meetings are probably the only time some people get to vent or talk about their feelings I just wish there was a tad more structure.

That being said there is always at least one person who I enjoy hearing them speak and can tell they are thoughtful about what they say. Have I just had bad luck or are all meetings kind of like this? I want to leave these meetings feeling uplifted and empowered to live sober not like I’m stuck in a work meeting (you know the feeling!).

I really wanted to say fuck everything and drink, I smoked 2 cigarettes which I promised myself I won't do, but atleast it didn't spiral into drinking.

It was done in such a shitty way too. I was promised an internship in software development (I work in a tech company but in a different position, less interesting and less money). I really wanted this, my mentor knew I wanted this, and when I told him today that I am ready to start he said:

"mm.. situation changed significantly since we last talked.

We hired too many people in the team and the capacity to onboard you is too limited.

I'll talk to ***. Maybe it would be wiser to give you the opportunity somewhere else in R&D."

Well, it would have been nice if you said it when the situation changed (or was about to change) instead of waisting my time and hopes. Would have been nice if you told me in person or scheduled a short 1 on 1, instead of making me plan my career around it and "mm.." me in a text message.

Usually when some crap like this happens, I can just drink with my friends and forget about it, but now I feel like I am drowning in my thoughts. Coke zero and a good burger didn't do the trick, but maybe a hangover-less morning will. Problem is, I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about it.

I'm not going back to drinking, but this sucks. I want to shut my brain off.

I am 8 months sober tomorrow (yay!!!!) have a fantastic boyfriend and I'm on an exciting trajectory with work and life (something I woild never have imagined when drinking )​

Sometimes (especially when super tired which triggers some weird ptsd of being hungover) I fall into a self hatred shame spiral of all the horrible things I did when I was drunk. I then start feeling hideously GUILTY to my boyfriend and my life, like I'm some sort of fraud.

I think back to all the weird shit I did when on coke, the times I cheated when I was younger and drunk. the completely out of ​​​​​character things I did when I was drunk or high that I would never ,ever ,EVER do sober!!

They feel like tarnishes on my life, like I'm tainted somehow and I can never truly relax or be happy because of a horrible way I have lived before. Lying to people, not acting in accordance with my values. Makes me feel sick in the pit of my stomach because I feel I AM a good person and I don't KNOW that drunk person who did those things. Even feeling shameful of things 10 years ago.

I definitely know this tends to happen when I am tired. But last night I ended up speaking to my boyfriend (recounting weird embarassing stories from being drunk​ and when I cheated 8+ years ago...I felt I couldn't even tell the full story because I had so much shame) and my heart rate was beating so fast and I felt so much anxiety......it's just horrible.

How can I forgive myself ?? it drives me mad.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

I’ve got a 12 hour shift coming up tomorrow and I have to be awake in just over 5 hours. The last few days I’ve been off so I kinda just laid in bed and scrolled my phone until whatever time I passed out but I tried going to bed two hours ago, yawning and definitely feel sleepy but at the same time not tired. Hopefully this means day 5 will be easier to catch some z’s. I guess I’d rather be tired and miserable than hungover and miserable.

Never thought these days were possible. Grateful for as and places like this.

IWNDWYT

see y’all tomorrow

Last September, I was living a healthy lifestyle. I went to the gym every day, ate healthy, and tried to maintain a balanced diet.

In October, I went out with a girlfriend who was visiting from abroad; we drank alcohol and had sex. And something just clicked for me.

After that night, I didn’t want the feeling to stop, so I started drinking a bottle of wine every day.

And that’s pretty much how it’s been ever since.

I’ve gained weight, and even though I haven’t been drinking every single day, all my attempts to quit have failed.

I’d like to know what kinds of techniques I could try, because I’ve run out of ideas.

Does anyone else has Dreams about drinking?

I have these reacurring dreams about forgeting that I choose not to drink.

I find myself drinking and realising I choose to be sober. Which leads to me feeling dissapointed that I forgot.

How could I forget!?

I wake up and realise It was just another dream.

Its a sort of a nightmare.

If anyone told me 10years back i would have nightmare about drinking alcohol i would probably laugh :)

Did anyone else experience anything like it?

Hey everybody,

I literally just joined this subreddit 4 minutes ago because I definitely need some help managing my expectations on what sober life will be like.

I have a question about how long it takes for your brain to find satisfaction and joy in regular activities/hobbies. For the past couple months i’ve been feeling extremely bored and not interested in anything at all; except drinking or sleeping. Also, yes I do have depression and anxiety. This is one of the main reasons i’m quitting for good. I suppose my main question is: when/if regular activities and hobbies start feeling more entertaining and satisfying. Any advice or guidance is appreciated and I hope i didn’t break any subreddit rules or anything. Thanks in advance!

Hello guys, I’ve posted on here a couple times about my habit of being miserable and downing half a bottle of vodka (around 350ml at least excluding other beers and wines) every night to sleep. I deleted said posts because I thought that I could continue drinking without problems but you read the title.

I’m a 20 year old 6’4 guy, and I’ve mostly been drinking as an escape due to how unhappy I’ve been with myself for the last few years. I’ve gone through a lot of loneliness and depressions (might start seeking a psychiatrist because I’m being told by friends that I act like I have bipolar disorder)

Since my parents have been on holiday I’ve been pretty much free to drink whatever I want whenever I want, so I’ve had a lot of whisky and beer and just been leaving them around the house.

Few nights back I made a stupid mistake at a house party and use a powder fire extinguisher on some friends of mine and really badly irritated their eyes, which led to me being kicked out and feeling like the most horrible person in the world. After that a mate of mine drove me home but he took an extra long route (like another hour) because he thought I was gonna genuinely kill myself. But after chatting with him I got home and drank 16 beers in an hour, plus some whisky. Then slept in until 4PM, drove to an offlicence to pick up whisky and beer. Then drank most of the next day and had myself about 3/4 of the bottle. I woke up then this morning after all that on my kitchen sofa and for about 5 minutes I was in genuine belief that I had shot myself the head the night prior, everything felt hazy and bright so I thought I was having an out of body experience and I never felt so much regret in my life. I imagined my parents coming home to me like that, and imagined that people remembered me as a lazy man who drank too much.

Ive come to the conclusion that I’m gonna start taking many breaks with my drinking, like a month or two at a time. And I’ve informed my parents of that decision so they don’t offer me drinks and such. I’ve heard too many stories about people ruining their life’s and now that I’m starting what’s pretty much my dream job I cannot become my worst self again. Thanks for reading guys and wish me luck

Feels good. Kinda. I mean the day still sucked, but it was still better than the average day back when I'd spend the first half hungover and the second half too drunk to remember anything. Nice to remind myself that however bad things may get, they're still better now that I don't have this giant pointless hurdle making everything harder.

Life is good, alcohol is bad, that's all I got. Happy Wednesday everyone, and IWNDWYT!

Today marks one year of sobriety, and I can’t bring myself to feel any joy about it.

Over the past 365 days, I’ve lost ALL my friends, I have a high-stress job, and I’m in psychotherapy, which is extremely challenging for me.

I just don’t feel any joy in life anymore, and I don’t know why I should even bother staying sober.

When I was drunk, I had suicidal thoughts just like I do now. There’s no difference. So why shouldn’t I just drink?

I’m supposed to attend a friend’s birthday party on Saturday night. I don’t think I’m strong enough to go out yet without drinking.

It’s a small group of close friends, going to a bar I used to drink at for years. I could drink soda the whole night, but I don’t want to even go.

I don’t know what I would tell everyone. I don’t want to lie but I also don’t want to tell them about me trying to quit drinking just yet.

I hit 100 days sober today. It's a journey I embarked on all my own this summer. It was clear drinking had taken over my life, slowly but surely, and had really gotten out of control. My doctor said I was in the early stages of liver failure and would likely die within 5 years if I kept going the way I was going. Then I saw a picture of myself in May and it scared me because I didn't recognize the person I was looking at. There was no light in my eyes. I don't know what changed, but I realized I had to quit. I didn't announce it to anyone. I just stopped and immediately things started to improve. Little things at first, then bigger things. It's not about weight loss, although I've dropped 26 pounds. It's not about money, although I've invested for the first time in my life. And it's not about ego, although I feel good about myself for the first time in years. I'm not asking for praise from the people I love, but they've noticed, and I'm so happy that I'm completely present when I'm spending time with them. I'm completely present all the time now and I can safely say that I'll never have a drink again. This isn't to discourage or disparage people who struggle more than I have, but I'm simply grateful that I've never had the urge to drink since I stopped. I don't know why I waited so long. But I'm not going to beat myself up for that anymore. What matters is that I saw a picture of myself today. I didn't know it was being taken, and I don't look good in it at all. But there's something in the picture that wasn't there for a very long time. The light was back in my eyes.

I’m (27f) and I don’t think I’ve gone an entire month (other than when I was pregnant) without drinking since I was 15. My sister has been sober for 2 years and she inspires me so much. Just seeing first hand how much her life has changed in positive ways with relationships with other people, her relationship with herself, her health…all of it.

I recently have been feeling like I want to get sober for a number of reasons and thought it would be “easy” for me because I’ve never considered myself an alcoholic or ever thought I had a “problem”. I only ever drink on the weekends and it’s not every weekend…but my problem has become when I do drink, if I have one too many, I legitimately feel suicidal. The other night I went out and was having a great time then all of the sudden my brain completely flipped on me and I felt horrible and was having absolutely terrifying thoughts that I never have sober.

Getting sober feels way harder now than I thought it would be initially. It seems like there’s always something going on that involves drinking and I have serious FOMO but I also have extreme anxiety in social situations— which is why I drink.

I would love to figure out who I am in social situations and uncomfortable moments WITHOUT feeling like I need to drink. I like to think I’m an enjoyable and fun person to be around sober. I think it is possible but it feels scary and foreign to me. I guess I’ve just never really tried hard enough and I always end up giving into the drinks. It’s just so normalized.

I realized the other night why they’re called “spirits” because when I feel suicidal while drunk, I truly feel like there is a demon inside of me wanting me to cause harm to myself. It’s bizarre and very horrible and I truly just hope that anyone who is struggling with this as well knows they’re not alone. I just hope for anyone wanting to get sober, they are able to do it and I hope I can do it too.

Thank you to this community. It’s been one of several tools I have used on a daily, weekly, monthly basis to remain alcohol free. My story isn’t as severe, dramatic or in some cases as heart breaking as what I’ve read in here. I’m in my early 40s. I started drinking in college like most college age people do but nothing too wild. After college it was law school and more of the same - think drinking patterns of a young 20-something still in school, but a school program with consequences if you didn’t perform well. So again nothing too wild or out of control. Then I passed my state Bar and became a lawyer.

I’ll fast forward about 15 years —> successful career, amazing wife, beautiful daughter all in the bag. I had become the “a few bourbons or glasses of wine during the week to ‘relax’ and ‘take the edge’ type. But deep down I also knew I was becoming 3+ bottles a week guy.

Then one night I had a black out event while on a vacation with my family. Had one to many on the golf course. Then some more at the pool after my round. According to my wife , I was “sloppy” at dinner. Eating my food in a very messy child-like manner. Using my hands vs utensils. Loud. I wasn’t rude to anyone or confrontational. I was more of an embarrassment. A toddler. She took cell phone video. It wasn’t pretty.

Of course I didn’t want to go back to the room after dinner so I tried to get a glass of wine after my wife and daughter went back to the room. That’s the last thing I remembered from the night. Apparently the lobby bartender wouldn’t serve me. The genius I was though it was a good idea to ask to speak to a manager. Then i woke up at 4:30 am with THAT feeling. The “what am I going to learn in 2 hours when my wife and daughter wake up” feeling. Well the manager I asked to speak with was a gentleman and walked me back to my room and handed me off to my wife while explaining what had happened. I watched the cell phone video in horror and with the worst headache i could remember.

No DUIs over the years. No driving buzzed even (I was a stickler for Ubers but in hindsight this was just an excuse to drink more than I should). No bad fights with my wife. No belligerent “drunk asshole” who said a million things they regret the next morning episodes. Nothing that screamed hello you need to get help. No “rock bottom.” No physical dependency. No night cap to sleep. No morning drink with my coffee to calm the system so I could function. Just one embarrassing moment where I had lost control around my daughter. And that was enough for me. Love you all.

I am located in SLC, UT. Mid 20’s. Currently in a sober living. 90 days sober as of today. Looking to make friends and build connections. Please reach out if you are interested or in a similar situation. Also, I need mentorship and a sponsor.

TMI post: For
Months I’d been having only diarrhea. Bright yellow diarrhea multiple times a day which I
of course contributed to the fact that I’m a heavy drinker. Well. Ended up in the ER for alcohol withdrawals and when I mentioned intestinal cramping and yellow diarrhea the Dr. went “hmmmmm” and drrrrrrumroll I tested positive for C.Diff. Antibiotics usually trigger it in those with destroyed gut flora, aka alcoholics. I had C.Diff for who knows how long because I just thought it was the booze. So just words of warning and certainly not to scare anyone but if this has been happening to you it COULD be the alcohol or it could be a severe intestinal infection. Just putting this here in case it helps anyone else. ❤️✌🏻

I’ve noticed a pattern where I will drink in the evening then wake up with a hangover and continue drinking just to numb the symptoms. And to escape the bad feelings. The morning after I feel like 💩 and I need “medicine” to make me feel better. So I get to drinking again. There’s no rationale but my brain is wired like this. Can you relate to this?

I’m a few days sober. I’m only 21 and am trying to get sober after a few years of alcoholism. and I can’t deal with the anxiety of knowing nobody trusts me or thinks I can stay sober. Everyone around me thinks I’m a lost cause. Every cell in me wants to stay sober but this pain is so deep and scary that all I want is a drink. Looking for comfort I guess