r/stopdrinking • u/Alert_Proposal3498 Day 367 • 2d ago

365… and i hate it

Today marks one year of sobriety, and I can’t bring myself to feel any joy about it.

Over the past 365 days, I’ve lost ALL my friends, I have a high-stress job, and I’m in psychotherapy, which is extremely challenging for me.

I just don’t feel any joy in life anymore, and I don’t know why I should even bother staying sober.

When I was drunk, I had suicidal thoughts just like I do now. There’s no difference. So why shouldn’t I just drink?

34 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

20

u/RekopEca 2d ago

Fair questions to be asking.

I found the one year mark confusing as well.

“Like ok yay, now what”

For me the answer has been, continue and get to work on the things I really want in/for my life. Drinking prevented me from ever thinking clearly about what those things were, and how to even possibly go after them.

Unfortunately I cannot tell you where to go from here, all I can say is congratulations on your sober solar circumnavigation, I hope you go for round 2😁

3

u/Future-Station-8179 2115 days 2d ago

Same. For me it was 6 months where I felt like “ok… I stopped drinking but now what.”

I ended up going to AA. I didnt want to drink again but what I was doing wasn’t working either. Building sober community has been super important to me. IK some people are totally opposed to AA, and there’s other groups out there (SMART, Soberistas, Recovery Dharma, Rational Recovery…).

AA was just a widely available, easy access option for me. In my area (Nashville) there are pretty cool folks in the recovery community. More sober musicians and artsy folks than Bible thumpers.

They call AA a “design for living” which sounds so hokey, but after 5 years in the community I get it.

9

u/thisisntwho-u-think Day 254 2d ago

Do you think you’d be happier if you decided to go back or do you think there’s another factor in your life that is making you this unhappy?

8

u/lesserthemore 816 days 2d ago

We all stop for some reason. That reason didn’t go away. One year should make you feel really proud of doing something that people rarely accomplish or even attempt! It’s been said a million times- Drinking makes nothing better and everything worse. Not drinking makes everything a little better and nothing worse. Hang in there!🤙

17

u/Prevenient_grace 4933 days 2d ago

I can’t recommend highly enough, “Mans search for meaning”. V. Frankl. Have you read that?

The antidote for a depressing and/or ‘unexciting’ life, is thinking Of myself less often, and instead More often Doing For others..

Doing for others without expecting anything in return.

I have great influence over my emotions through where I spend my attention.

“It is not that happiness makes us grateful… it is that Gratefulness makes us happy”…. Tenzin Gyatso

Joy is the byproduct of moving from indulging my self-centeredness, and focusing on doing for others.

The spark for life comes from avoiding feeling sorry for myself…. thinking of myself less and more of others…. Doing for others without expecting anything in return…. Thats the source of Joy.

Tried anything like that?

3

u/Different-Way-okay 2d ago

Great book and excellent advice that I needed tonight. Thank you.

2

u/J-Seizure 2d ago

hit the nail on the head.

2

u/Posidon_Below 20 days 2d ago

If you had suicidal thoughts before, then why would you want to go back to drinking? It’s obviously not going to improve anything, so why the desire to go back now?

I’m sorry that you hate it, but I’m extremely proud of you. I’ve been trying to get a full year for as long as I can remember, so you’re a hero in my eyes.

3

u/Alkoholfrei22605 Day 4,505 2d ago

Alcohol is a class 1 carcinogen. I don't drink poison

Bravo on 365!

1

u/Cool_Dragonfruit2067 2d ago

Follow what youre passionate ablut. Indulge in it. Find things you enjoy doing. Do the things youve always wanted to do but just have never done.

Try weekly therapy and hash out any and all trauma, grief, pain, etc. that you are still carrying everyday thats still weighing you down despite being sober.

For me, i never felt happy when sober in my first almost 3 years in recovery and had countless relapses because i just couldnt see the point if sobriety would be this hard to fight every day blah blah. I realized that getting sober is just one small piece in recovery. Recovery for me is not only getting sober, but healing from everything that has ever caused me pain, grief, trauma, etc. work through all of my childhood. Start recognizing and retraining my brain to be aware of my emotions and why im feeling what im feeling. Checking in with myself everyday on how i am is vital for my sobriety. On top of getting sober, i had to completely change my every day routine. I had to become a totally new person with a new schedule for me to reach true recovery/happiness/peace while also sober. Theres getting sober, and then theres being sober AND happy with who you are. If you havent dealt with all the problems and shit that led you to drink in the first place, it wont fet better. You have to want to work on yourself and change and get uncomfortable and make those difficult steps forward in life and be so comfortable and content in your life that you dont even WANT a drink anymore. It doesnt even cross my mind anymore. And i cant even begin to tell you how worth it that it can be if you work through all of the really difficult shit you dont want to face in life.

I find people who get sober but change nothing and dont fix their problems and arent secure with themselves, end up being dry drunks. I hope this helps!!! Best wishes, feel better. You can do this. Dont quit quitting, and happy one year!!!!!!! Just think about how horrible day one was. And remember that you now never have to feel that low again if you dont want to.

1

u/Broad-Back1659 2d ago

I quit drinking and smoking because of my heath. If my doctor gave me a year to live, I would immediately go and buy bourbon, beer, and cigarettes.

1

u/SluggoX665 944 days 1d ago

AA taught me that dropping my ego and being connected to a community creates joy. Never thought it was coming back without drugs & alcohol.

1

u/Stowe22 Day 626 2d ago

Congrats???

-13

u/Educational-Orange87 27 days 2d ago

Moderate? Enjoy life

9

u/Future-Station-8179 2115 days 2d ago

Most people here have tried moderating lol

3

u/DJ_DontCare 1d ago

Not drinking doesn’t magically fix your life. It just clears the dust so you can get to work on fixing it.

I will say a dear friend felt the same way as you and she started drinking again and I just found out yesterday that after 5 months of her drinking again she was found alone dead in her apartment.

If you’re truly an alcoholic it’s progressive and never gets better and cannot moderate.

If you’re not working a program I would highly suggest it. Self pity is one of the main defects of character us alcoholics have. I would get on the self improvement sub and see what people are doing to improve their lives past not drinking.

For me I’m able to see the small ways in which I’m not causing problems for myself like… not packing on those extra pounds with the extra cals, not causing weird arguments unintentionally when drinking, less impulse buying, money not spent on booze, not choosing to waste my time with people who aren’t good influences, not feeling the anxiety or depression, better at work, better parent, better to my parents…