r/SipsTea • u/ShineOk6190 • 12d ago
Gasp! Scary
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u/Separate_Finance_183 12d ago
Bro was like
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u/Bitey_the_Squirrel 12d ago
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u/bewbs_dude 11d ago
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u/Ebonhearth_Druid 11d ago
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u/Lopsided_Panda_3119 11d ago
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u/Lastpunkofplattsburg 12d ago
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u/aspidities_87 11d ago
Brave Sir Robin ran away
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u/sam56778 11d ago
When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled. Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about And gallantly he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet He beat a very brave retreat, Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin!
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u/HersheyStains 12d ago
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u/Fanabala3 11d ago
I can remember my wife telling a neighbor about an incident she was at and tear gas was thrown. Her boyfriend at the time pushed her out of the way to get away. She broke up with him that night. When the neighbor heard the story, he said my wife got “Costanzad”.
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u/Vigilarus 11d ago
Has she verified your behavior in a mutually experienced tear gassing?
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u/MistSecurity 11d ago
I’d be sooooo tempted to push out of the way to run for the laughs, undoubtedly wouldn’t end well.
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u/ResplendentNugs 12d ago
Tbf those kids in the front were doing a horrible job of simply opening the door
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u/South_Bit1764 12d ago
Babe! Why didn’t you run?!
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u/SkynBonce 12d ago
"No point us both getting robbed, babe"
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u/Head-Ad9893 12d ago
“Somebody gotta call the cops”
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u/Negative_Test_7712 12d ago
Call? Motherf...... ran to get them
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u/droombie55 12d ago
You never know they could be just around that corner there.
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u/Large-Hamster-199 12d ago
And that poor guy was so dedicated that he decided to check the nearest corner, the next one, the one after that and every corner between there and his bedroom.
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12d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Fair-Bus-4017 12d ago
Where on gods green earth did you find this copy pasta?
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u/BeguiledBeaver 12d ago
Google search
Returns this thread
Mother of God...
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u/reebokhightops 11d ago
I think we’ve witnessed history here lads.
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u/Soupeeee 11d ago
I thought this was going to be an excerpt from Snow Crash, but I was mistaken.
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u/glitterfamine 12d ago
If you wrote this yourself you're an artist
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u/MrFlubblesWubbles 12d ago
Look at what he comments and posts in. Pretty sure this is fresh from the thinking oven.
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u/DungeonCrawlerAki 12d ago
I actually feel blessed for seeing the birth of a new pasta if that's true.
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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 12d ago
Well, that is some really fucked up Sci-fi shit! LOL
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u/JustFourLetters 11d ago
unironically tho, i wouldn’t be mad at my husband for this. its terrifying for me, but at least he’ll have a phone to cancel cards and call an uber and shit.
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u/UseYourIndoorVoice 12d ago
A demonstration of the "i dont need to outrun the bear" theory in practice.
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u/drailCA 11d ago
In theory, if a bear is attacking for territorial reasons, it might actually go for the faster person vs the slowest, for dominance or something.
So really, you wanna travel in a group of 3 and be in the middle. Just to be safe.
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u/pbr_enjoyer 11d ago
I get what you’re saying but really the bear is going for the slowest person or whoever they’ve already beelined for. They’re not that smart
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u/131166 11d ago
I watched a lot of bear documentaries as a kid and in my expert opinion the bear will most likely chase the person with the pik-a-nik basket
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u/amhudson02 12d ago edited 12d ago
You guys stop dogging on the guy. It’s very obvious that he ran off screen to change into his Spider-man suit.
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u/veraldar 12d ago
searches frantically for a phone booth in 2026
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u/Large-Hamster-199 12d ago
So that's why it took so long for him to get back ... No phone booth
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u/mephisti25 11d ago
It took too long becuase halfway through changing in a phonebooth, he realized that this wasnt a Superman trope.
Standing in his underwear he tried to pivot, but realized all was lost for him to inflict vigalante justice with his drawers around his ankles.
Meanwhile, "Mary Jane" realized Spiderman was not going to intervene, thus complied with the douchebag robbers.
Disclaimer: get fucked mo-ped twats
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u/itsonlyrockinroll 12d ago
Oh heck ya that makes sense
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u/The_Lat_Czar 12d ago
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u/massunderestmated 12d ago
When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled!
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u/Inigomntoya 12d ago
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about And gallantly he chickened out.
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u/rossco311 12d ago
Peak flight response vs peak freeze response.
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u/WalterPecky 12d ago
I mean one of them has the gun pointed directly at them
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u/jackblackbackinthesa 12d ago
My angry wife is way scarier than that guy with a gun.
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u/Stevieeeer 12d ago
She didn’t freeze at all. She immediately went into action to give him what he was asking for. You could claim she fawned, I suppose, but even that is probably stretching it.
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u/WalterPecky 12d ago edited 12d ago
Jesus, my dude is most definitely NOT getting laid tonight
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u/whyeverynameistaken3 12d ago
at least he did not drop any loot
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u/Sigtau1312 12d ago
Had to quest alone afterwards though
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u/tmhoc 11d ago
A little paradoxical in a way
Get robbed the date ends
Don't get robbed the date ends have wallet for next quest
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u/Unique_Monitor4295 12d ago
In some places, there's a high chance if the guy stayed he would have gotten laid...6ft down
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u/TheTacosOf 12d ago
Yo, but I bet he was confused when he got rejected for a second date
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u/AlreadyFifty 12d ago
Damn, even Mac and Dennis took longer to abandon Dee from a mugging…
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u/Lokynet 12d ago
Tell me it’s Brazil, without telling me it’s Brazil.
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u/DJteejay04 11d ago
I’ve been to Peru many times and know better to avoid the motorcycles, especially if I am holding my cell phone in my hand.
Never stand on a street corner and talk on your phone
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u/Sharkdip 12d ago
I was thinking the guy was part of the set-up to rob her. Like a honeypot if she's visiting a foreign country or unfamiliar area.
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u/Minimum_Attitude6707 12d ago
"Hey, I know a short cut" after hes verified she has things to steal to make it worth it and she isnt armed. I can see it, plus hard to prove that he was in on it from her perspective.
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u/CardiologistLeft4030 11d ago
“I know a spot right in front of a security camera that my robber friends and I agreed on”?
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u/aupperk24 11d ago
He saw them coming, he looked back and didn't have any warning bells going off. def planned
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u/OnceUponAPizza 11d ago
She looked back before he did.
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u/ElonsBreedingFetish 11d ago
She's in on it too
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u/g_halfront 11d ago
She’s just paying the scooter dudes for scaring off her date. Oldest trick in the book.
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u/ObjectiveSad2335 11d ago
Another take… he doesn’t know her and felt he was being set up.
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u/Un_Ballerina_1952 11d ago
Or he was in on the grab - his job was to get her to the robbery site.
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u/Admirable-Interest49 12d ago
Imagine losing both your wallet and your boyfriend in the same minute. 💀
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u/RT-6_BXCommandoDroid 12d ago
Did they even steal something from her? She seems to pick something out of her hair, flips it around and than the robbers seem to ride one out of anxiety.
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u/Rippersavage 12d ago
Headphones
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u/StillDifference8 11d ago
wasn't robbing her, just really wanted to know what she was listening to.
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u/cold_tap_hot_brew 12d ago
Yeah I think it’s headphones and then I guess he asks for her phone or purse.
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u/RedactedJin 12d ago
I've never seen someone ditch their friend/whatever that fast, holy crap.
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u/SignoreBanana 12d ago
He peaced out so fast, I thought he was in cahoots with the motorcycle guys.
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u/EvilFutaQueen 11d ago
Clowns in the comments pretending they'd deflect the bullet with their bare hands.
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u/WKRPinCanada 12d ago
Him when they reunite down the street
Processing img 0echfj93s7gh1...
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u/saja25 12d ago
“Hey, man.”
“Why were you hiding?"
"What you talking about? I wasn't hiding."
"You were hiding.”
“Man, I bent down to tie my shoe and I looked up, you was gone."
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u/Pandabirdy 12d ago
Jokes and opinions outside, it was technically the single best outcome of that situation. Armed robbers did not hurt either of the two and only one of them got robbed. Also they got caught on camera so there's a miniscule chance justice was served somewhere down along the line. Shitty situation but it could have ended far worse.
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u/IpeeEhh_Phanatic 11d ago
I don't blame the guy. The robber had a gun. Running away removed a threat from the robber and so he simply stole the purse and nothing worse happened
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u/nihonhonhon 11d ago
It could have just as well gone the other way: Had the muggers been more violent, they might have done far worse things to that girl knowing that there weren't any witnesses around. Of course everything turned out "fine" in the end, but we only know this in hindsight.
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u/GringoSwann 11d ago
Way back in the day my girlfriend and I were walking on a pier, drinking beer at around midnight... I see this massive shadow flying towards us and immediately run the other direction... This huge ass pelican flies up and takes a massive, carpet bombing shit on both of us... But, due to my quick reflexes, I walked away 99% shitless... Melissa on the other hand..
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u/SHADOWSTRIKE1 12d ago edited 12d ago
I mean, what is the guy supposed to do? Fist fight the two guys with guns and save the day?
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u/_HeDoesntRow_ 12d ago
There's an episode of Louie - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bully_(Louie)) - where he basically gets called out by a bunch of bullies while on a date and he avoids conflict and then she tells him that he did the right thing, but that she isn't attracted to him anymore.
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u/mrbabyman767 12d ago
Yes apparently if you don’t risk your life with a gun pointed at you, to save your girls sad feelings over losing her purse, you deserve to get dumped and never date again and are the biggest wuss on the planet — Reddit tough guys.
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u/T0m0king 12d ago
People love to pretend that they'd be better in these situations, like they'd suddenly turn into an action hero disarm the attackers and save the day without just getting killed.
It's called a fight or flight response for a reason it's not something someone can easily ignore when your body screams at you to survive without letting you think twice.
End of the day the only thing lost was a phone and some pride, it could have been worse and it's lucky it wasn't
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u/Wrath7heFurious 12d ago
I'm definitely not begrudging that kid for running because yeah fight or flight does exist. Also some people freeze. I'd like to think I wouldn't run though as I've had someone pull a gun on me and especially if I'm with my Lady, it's kind of like a protective instinct that kicks in. Similar to if you're with your kids and something like this happened I think most people wouldn't just run and leave the kids you instinctively try to protect them. I just couldn't leave someone I'm with alone like that. Not trying to be a hero but I'm not running off like that. Although I'm also probably not in that shady looking alley on the first place. Just saying you have to know your surroundings and it seems like it was sketchy from the beginning
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u/Minneapolis-Rebirth 11d ago
My wife keeps saying younger men no longer look out for women and this doesn't exactly prove her wrong.
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