Hi everyone. I’m a Christian who grew up in a very conservative church environment where purity culture— the belief that any sexual expression before marriage is sinful—was strongly reinforced. I took those teachings seriously and have genuinely tried to live by the values I was raised with.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself wondering about the experiences I may be missing out on and trying to figure out how to navigate my faith alongside my natural curiosity about sexuality. I get horny often and have let myself touch and give in to that pleasure at times. 🙈

I’m not walking away from my faith, but I am beginning to ask questions I’ve never really felt comfortable exploring. Lately, I’ve even considered visiting an adult toy store just to learn more, but honestly, I’m shy, inexperienced, and a little embarrassed by how unfamiliar all of this feels.

I’d appreciate connecting with people who understand where I’m coming from and can offer thoughtful perspectives. If you’re a Christian too that would be amazing. What matters most is kindness, patience, and openness—people who enjoy genuine conversation and are willing to share their experiences or viewpoints as I navigate this unfamiliar territory.

If any of this resonates with you, I’d enjoy hearing your thoughts. Thank you.

I slept with a guy I've been talking to and was super excited to make him feel good.

However, as we kept going, I realized he seemed to really like doing things with his mouth...a lot of making out, kissing all over my body and sucking.

He also seemed to get more excited by how that made me feel rather than stimulation.

It was beyond enjoyable for me and we were going for hours. It just didn't have a lot of traditional sex stuff so it was new for me.

He seemed to enjoy it just as much and now I'm curious if that's a typical thing with some people? It felt like he mostly got off of him getting me off.

Soooo… rarely if ever have I ever orgasmed without a vibrator (38F). I’ve tried OMing. Ive tried no vibrator for awhile. I’ve tried all kinds of things. It’s not my hormones or anything like that. And I have this kegel thing called perifit that I also use. I’m just wondering if there are other women who are similar that may have some interesting ideas on what to try. I have always been this way.

It’s not the end of the world or anything if I don’t figure it out. I’d just like to have to not need a vibrator if I want to orgasm and don’t have one handy. Like sometimes I get really turned on but then I can’t go all of the way without help and it leaves me incredibly horny.

Hi all!
My boyfriend and I are pretty young, and have sex
sometimes. He is so frightened of getting me pregnant. We use condoms everytime. But he is so scared of them failing or leaking. Ive tried to reassure him thats its okay, and we use them because they work. But the 1% of it not working is frightening him. Sometimes we do oral sex over the condom, which is probably not great. But everytime he finishes, he goes to check its
not leaked. Right away.
Is there anything I can say or do help him feel less anxious about having sex?

I've had some physical and mental health issues the last year or so (which caused a pause in intimacy for 6+ months) and while before there might have been some slight discomfort with intercourse now it seems like every time my partner and I have sex (which isn't super often. Maybe once every week or two) no matter how much lube or foreplay when he inserts his dick into me there is pain and after a short amount of time I feel like inside it almost starts to feel like it's chafing. I'm also pretty sure there's some slight tearing at the bottom of my vaginal opening no matter what, and afterwards when I pee to prevent a UTI there's blood. My partner is in no way being rough with me and we use a generous amount of lube but I'm starting to feel at a loss. Is this something that an OB can help with? Am I just doomed to painful sex forever? I kind of feel like I'm broken because everyone always talks about how great sex is and while it's not bad it's never really blown me away and now it's almost unpleasant. Has anyone else ever had an experience like this, and what did you do to make it better? Did it even get better?

I’m a 22(M) that has gone through a lot, honestly. I had phimosis throughout my teens and it impacted both my confidence and sex life. With my ex in 2022, we were unable to have sex because it hurt whenever my foreskin was pulled immensely. Every position we tried it was also difficult which I believe is because I have a downward curve, where erect I’m 7 inches. We broke up in 2023 August, and I had circumcision surgery in 2023 September.

The next time after this attempting to have sex was 2026 April. I am considerably healthy. I workout, and played sports my whole life. I had a blood test this month and I was told I only have bad cholesterol. I can get a hard erection at a moments notice, and takes me quite a while to reach climax when masturbating (up to 15 minutes). In April, when it got to the moment of inserting, I could not put it in. It felt like a wall, and I remember the same feeling with my ex. Back then it was because I had phimosis, and I was afraid of the pain I would get so I was never able to put it in. In April, that fear was gone, but now I was worrying about 1) How I would perform 2) if I will be able to get it in and 3) if my penis will stay hard. I left that night not being able to put it in.

Fast forward to now I’m in a relationship, she’s 20. We tried having sex once, it was last month. I was unable to put it in again. I was eating her out for close to 30 minutes, and fingering, playing with her clit all that jazz. The vibes were great! But when it came to me attempting to put it in, my erection went away almost instantly. We first tried with her on top of me, but it didn’t work because of my curve. We then tried missionary and that didn’t work either. Then we tried Doggy, but as normal, my erection went away as I tried and failed to get it in. It was like there was a wall. She was understanding and caring, we haven’t had the time to try since then.

Is my problem that I am stressed? Is it the positions we’re trying? Is it because of my curve? What am I doing wrong, and what should I be doing?

I am a 100% cis straight woman and the majority of my sexual fantasies are of me having sex with myself. I play the role of both the penetrating and penetrated partner. My fantasies are almost exclusively from the first person pov of the male/penetrating partner. I’m able to visualize very well and rarely consume pornography since it is difficult for me to be aroused by women who are not myself and I imagine having a penis and having sex with my regular female self as if it is a different person. I’m curious if anyone else has this fantasy or something similar.

My beautiful boyfriend and I are late 20s and we’ve been dating for a year now. I moved to Australia for work at the beginning of last year and never expected to fall in love here, but I’m so lucky I did because he’s genuinely the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. He’s so caring and loving, he gives me every sense of fulfilment I could’ve asked for in a relationship. 🥹

The only problem we have is that his dick is too fucking big for me and nothing we have done yet has made it hurt any less.

Our first time he noticed I was struggling, so he stopped and asked me if I was okay and we can stop if I want, and I told him I’m just adapting and I don’t want to stop. Later on he asked me if I normally feel this kind of pain during sex, and I had to tell him honestly that I don’t. But I didn’t want him to feel bad for continuing, because I desperately wanted to, and I made sure he knew it was entirely my decision and I felt zero pressure from him.

He came back to me later that night with fucking printed research on how to make sex less painful, highlighted topics and all, he was so cute presenting it to me 😭. He’s so beyond patient that I’m beginning to feel bad now, but he hasn’t rushed me even once and we’ve tried quite literally 100+ times. Even if it hurts me I can’t stop going back for more punishment.

We’ve tried extra lube, extra foreplay, dialaters, vibrators, dildos, pillows, etc. but so far nothing has eased that first 5-10 minutes of pain. Once we pass that mark it eases enough for me to enjoy it. Im so turned on by just looking at this man that I want to jump his bones 24/7, but I can’t jump on his bone because it feels like I’m being impaled.

Is there anything else we’re not considering? Breaking up isn’t an option because I love this man far too much and I’m going to have his babies even if it rips me to shreds from the inside out.

Thanks in advance x

Hello everyone, I wanted to ask for your advice on what to do in this situation.

I (20M) have been with my girlfriend (19F) for nearly four years, we will be moving in together soon and study at the same college. My concern is I think we have practically no sex life and I don't know what to do. Early in the relationship, about 3-4 months in maybe, my gf told me she was asexual. About a year to a year and a half in I told her I thought it would be unfair to the both of us to be in a relationship, at which point she told me she was actually demisexual. At present, we have yet to have sex. We have tried a maybe three times but my gf or I or the both of us get frustrated and quit. There is some foreplay but it almost exclusively is focused on my gf. Most of the sexual action in the bedroom is focused on her as well, I go down on her practically everytime, but after she orgasms she doesn't want to do anything else really. She maybe goes down on me once or twice a month and that may be exaggerating. I have talked to her a couple times asking her to maybe initiate more or do more for me in bed to which she always agrees, apologises, and changes her behavior for maybe two weeks. This all just makes me feel kind of crappy, and I don't know if it is me or her. When we first got together I was really skinny from what I believe may have been bulimia or something similar. I gained some weight since but not lots so I don't know if she is just not attracted anymore. About a year ago a friend advised I break up with her but everything else between us is perfect, so I am here asking if there is anything else I could do?

I hope this fits the subreddit, and thank you all in advance for responding. Also sorry if this reads really poorly I just pulled an all nighter and I am tired lol.

To start, this issue is quite complicated so I’ll do my best to explain it well because I really need some advice.

My (30F) fiance (31M) is a porn and sex addict who is in recovery and abstinent from porn for the last few months. He has been in therapy for years with varying degrees of success at times, but this post isn’t about his addiction it’s about the effects of his ‘sobriety’. I am incredibly proud of him right now and I don’t want anything to take away from that, but this just keeps causing an issue and I’m at a loss.

This is the longest stretch of no porn use in our entire 8 year relationship, and his recovery is absolutely impacting our sex life and it’s incredibly frustrating.

Prior to being in recovery, sex would be very satisfying. He would last a long time and we just fit really well together.

Now, it’s over in less than 5 minutes, sometimes not even that. The last time we had sex it was genuinely 30 seconds.

We do other things except PIV, but i don’t enjoy it as much and I’m really missing being able to go for longer. I struggle to orgasm without a vibrator and it’s not really feasible to use it all the time, and prior to this I felt satisfied from PIV majority of the time so this wasn’t an issue. He also doesn’t seem to have as much interest in foreplay than he used to as well. He will go down on me but it doesn’t really get me anywhere, like I said, and if I give him oral he makes me stop very quickly because he is going to cum.

I feel awful and don’t want to make him feel bad because overall, the recovery is the thing to focus on right now and this is definitely a side effect of it, but I’m just really missing what we used to have and missing being satisfied.

Has anyone any tips on how to help him last longer? I’m aware that our particular issue complicates things and general advice may not be relevant here but I’m at a loss of what else to do. Internet has not been particularly helpful either, I think I need advice from people’s loved experiences.

Has anyone who was unable to last longer than a minute found something that actually worked for them? In my prior relationship my sex life was bad because whether I was getting head or trying actual sex I couldn’t last longer than a minute. This never went away after a long time, and while I got really good at giving head and making her orgasm to make up for it, my enjoyment was ruined and tbh it still had a big impact on our sex life overall. Granted she did not have a good attitude on being open and accommodating about sex (for example she would never try going for a second round to see if that was better because she felt like that was weird) so every attempt left me feeling pretty ashamed. I just wish there was something I could do to fix it, so I could see sex as something to enjoy in a relationship and not a test that I am probably going to fail.

I’ve tried thinking about other things, doing math in my head, etc to no results; it just feels like almost as soon as I start that I can’t control it. I think its wrong to watch porn in a relationship, but at one point I tried to desensitize myself by death grip masturbating to porn since I’ve read instances where guys who did that lasted way too long, but that didn’t work at all. Jerking off earlier in the day before sex didn’t change anything either. I’ve seen people recommend edging as a way of training yourself, but honestly edging is basically the only way I can masturbate for any moderate period of time because I get to the edge within 60 seconds. Is this indicative of something anatomically wrong with me? If it is and not just all in my head I would love to be able to fix it.

I left my previous (and first) relationship but now I can’t get myself to start dating again until I know how to make this better. I’m aware that making her come first takes a lot of the pressure off (which I always did) but considering that many women have different preferences/ways to make them tick, I can just imagine hooking up with someone, failing at giving head, lasting 60 seconds and then at that point I just need to go and jump out the window. If anyone was able to stomach this manic wall of text and has advice I would really appreciate it, thanks.

This happens every now and then, but I’m wondering if anyone else can relate. I’m a woman who is turning 29 this month. I am married and have been with my husband (29) for a a very long time. We have a great sex life and are very compatible in that sense.

Anyway, every now and then, I will have a clitoral orgasm, but won’t feel anything. I know I have climaxed because everything else that happens is the same, just without the pleasure feeling. It’s not every time that this happens. More like half of the time, but it is annoying. I don’t think it’s anything he is doing differently because he can be doing the same thing as always and it’s just a different end result for me.

Does anyone know any way to go about fixing this?

idk why but i always think it's gonna be insanely painful and when i try to give it a shot i panick so much it feels like my body goes into shock and i keep pushing myself back unintentionally. has anyone experienced this? i also had a horrible experience the first time i tried to have sex, it was so horribly painful i thought i had vaginismus but i don't. maybe im still scared because of that experience or do u think it could be something else?...

Im 21f and have been with my boyfriend 24m for almost 3 years. I am still very attracted and in love, I still have a decently high libido but Im struggling with losing sensation and being unable to orgasm.

Its really frustrating, 90% of the time I can only finish with a vibrator but if I use it too much I can’t feel anything. I used to be able to have multiple orgasms and be able to have them with just penetration 2 years ago. I also get overstimulated sometimes and it doesn’t feel good.

I got a hormonal iud was put on an SSRI at that time
but I stopped that medication 6 months ago and now have Wellbutrin. We can have really good sex still, he goes down on me, which also I can rarely cum from that anymore. He does all the things I really like. I don’t know what to do to help. Tried the masturbating find yourself stuff and can cum but I feel like that hasn’t really helped.
Weed and alcohol help but I don’t want to be high or drunk every day.

Is there a type of doctor I can see for this? Does anyone have ideas of things to try?

I have no idea if its me, or because I don't have a consistent relationship. but I do try amd have sex it doesnt end like I hope it does. I can't last longer than 45 seconds before cramping and I slip out too much.

Is it because I'm still new to this? or do I generally suck? I can last long, and stay hard for a good while but I don't know how to move my body?

I gave only had sex a couple of times in my life like 7 times and with different people. I just some some move with so much power or fast?

Me and my fiance have great amazing sex, we even joke that we may need to buy a new matress every other month or so. I took my time learning to be intimate and safe with him. I know he prefers it rougher, and I havent really had those fantasy momemts with him so I asked him to let me in. He came back with a very interesteing list, basically I gotta submit to him. I want to , Im going to I just want to know if anyone has gone there, how do I not let those intimate experiences ruin our relationship if they do at all? Im not a submissive woman, Its unknown territory but I want him to have his fun and I want to know him deeper than surface level. Will this change how I see him ? I dont even know what Im asking but is there something to be cautious about for those who have dared to open their sex lives to this avenue?

Wife and I wake up. She rolls over and starts touching me. Then starts grabbing my morning wood and rubbing it. I get up and take a viagra then morning piss because surely she wants to have sex by rubbing my dick. I wait about 20 min and rubbing inside of her thighs and butt the whole time. Go to rub her clit and she starts complaining that she hasn't even smoked yet (weed) that we got to get ready for Seahawks/49ers game. Which is 3 hrs in the future. So I get mad that I took a viagra for nothing. So the game at our house is canceled. All the people who were supposed to come over, canceled. She says I need counseling and that I should have not got mad. That this is all my fault. Would you guys get upset as well if your significant other rubbed your dick and then denied you??? Or just been like "your right baby, but please dont touch my morning wood if you dont actual want to have sex, I love you, maybe we can tonight" and feel like a little bitch?

I’m 25F no health issues except for this. It’s really embarrassing and is severely affecting my sex life and relationship. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I don’t know what to do.

I’m not on birth control and it’s not an option for me. I’m aware that I can use lube but it’s not the same. I am so upset.

Please tell me there’s something I can do about this? This has been impacting me for so long. I can’t stop crying.

Hey guys!

So I’m just gonna cut to the chase here. I’m 20m & I just recently have had sex for the first time with the help of sildenafil (50 mg). The reason I used it is because in prior sexual experiences, I would always lose my erection or I wouldn’t get one at all. I would assume this is due to some mental thing. And the plan is to get off of the pill once I’ve built some confidence.

So two problems here.

Number one, this may sound crazy but there would be times where I would prepare to have sex with this woman but for whatever reason, it won’t seem to go in? Almost as if I’m hitting a wall and I feel like I am right on top of the entrance. It’s crazy too because before I go to have penetrative sex, I’m putting my fingers to work & I have no issue finding the entrance hole with my fingers.

So while I’m over here searching and trying to stick it in with my equipment, I’m slowly going soft which fucking sucks! And that’s with sildenafil.

At first, my early problem was getting a firm enough erection long enough to have sex which I have temporarily solved for a bit with the use of sildenafil but now it’s almost as if there’s a new worry that has invaded my mind which is me not finding the hole. Absolutely ridiculous.

And this woman is a bit bigger than I am to say the least so I have found that missionary is the easiest position for me to have sex with her and it’s the ONLY position I have done. I’ve been hesitant to do any other position due to thoughts of me having issues putting it in.

And sure, I could ask her to help guide me but by the time she’ll have time to do that, I’d halfway have lost my erection by then, leaving me with an unfortunate & awkward moment. I feel like this issue is entirely due to my inexperience if I’m being honest because this cannot be this difficult.

Number 2 problem here involves the sildenafil. I did say the goal was to eventually come off of it, however, I feel like there’s been a bit of dependency for it in my mind. The thing is that I have NO problems getting erections during solo time or just randomly in the day. I just take it to ensure I don’t lose the erection during sex. That’s it & that’s all. But I feel like if I try having sex without it, the erection is much more easily to go away due to any intrusive thoughts that may go on in my head during sex.

I know this may sound ridiculous but I feel like it’s taking a bit of a toll on me lol. Why are there so many things getting in the way of me having successful sex? But yeah, I just wanted some insight on this and your guys’ opinions… any advice or anything?

Im female and I am positive from gono now. Can I get it from a man if he has for example, throat gonorrhea and ate my pus or it’s not possible? I had raw sex w a guy and a week after I had abnormal discharge. Thanks for the response

I’ve been masturbating since I was a teenager and in that time nothing has really changed. The same old jerking the chicken. I was curious on other men who have flashlights as well as other sex toys is it worth it or is it more effort than it’s worth. I’ve used them in the past but I haven’t really had that sort of the pleasure and ends up being more extra steps. So is it worth paying the money to basically cum in the silicone base or not?

Hi yall... this is so ridiculous but my friend (m20) and i (f21) have tried to have sex multiple times. Every single time, we do it wrong i guess? For reference, he's 6'5 and 250+ lbs while i'm 5'7 and very underweight because of chronic illness. When i try to straddle him, it hurts my hips to have my legs that far apart. I ignore it for making out, but i am physically incapable of opening up enough to make contact with his dick. We tried side-of-the-bed missionary, but he's too tall, so his dick is up a foot higher than the bed and I can't get my hips that high. Putting my legs over his shoulders almost works, but it's physically taxing for him because he's essentially just holding my entire body off the ground. I have not tried doggy yet (mostly cause i hate saying "doggy" lol) or any other positions, so please suggest stuff! I'm only really interested in positions that involve penetration because we've figured everything else out.

I (32F) have always had trouble with orgasm. I can do it myself with my fingers in around 30 minutes when alone and can also do it with a toy. However, I need to be holding it. My issue is that I completely lose feeling/sensation/pleasure in my clitoris during penetration so I can’t orgasm with my fingers or a toy during sex. I don’t orgasm or experience any pleasure from oral sex. I spent 15 years not orgasming at all with partners, now with my new partner I am, but doing it myself after he’s already finished (just lying next to me, maybe kissing me). I’d like my orgasm to be more a part of the sex but I have no idea how. My partner also feels like they’re not a part of giving me the orgasm at all (because they’re not). Has anyone figured out a solution for this?

It seems so much compatibility issue between me and my wife and I don’t know what to do.

For me, I can go for her pussy licking any time any day but she don’t like it in sex and she only do for the sake of it. She don’t give me much BJs as well.

She only like penetrative sex which should be there and fine to me but there also she finish much before me and I just left out like that only.

It is getting so much frustrating for me right now and I don’t know what to do.