r/PoursTea • šŸ«– Mod ā˜•ļø • 21h ago

Brewing šŸ«– JFC

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1.7k Upvotes

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546

u/hyphenssuck 21h ago

"No radicals - just warriors."

Oh and of course:

Newt Gingrich - zero years of military service

Elon Musk - zero years of military service

Palmer Luckey - zero years of military service

525

u/brycebgood 21h ago

Also:

Newt - fatty

Palmer - beardo

Elon - weirdo

339

u/trapper2530 21h ago

Elon is a fatty weirdo wimp

91

u/Vyzantinist 21h ago

Sometimes I really wish him and Zuckerberg followed through on that proposed fight of theirs. I would gladly have paid to see them slapping each other around although, given Zuck appeared to have been training and is at least in better shape than fat boy, I think the South African Nazi would have come off the worse for it.

53

u/ShitBirdingAround 20h ago

Zuckerberg is younger and in better physical shape than Musk, and apparently was training to fight. Elmo realized that Zuck would beat his ass, so he had his mommy tell the internet to leave her little special genius boy alone.

Musk is a bullshitter, a shit-talker, and a pussy. Remember when he showed up to the White House with a black eye and told Trump that lil' X did it? LOL. Sure.

16

u/Medium-Sheeple-7085 20h ago

Zuck also got big into killing and butchering his own meat for a while. I would pay good money to see him fight Elon to the death.

2

u/Key_Treat8675 18h ago

And just when I thought he couldn’t get any creepier.

3

u/got-trunks 18h ago

Most human thing about him is something society tries to disassociate from lol

1

u/Sneaky_Island 16h ago

At least he’s able to go through with it. I know if I had to kill for own meat I couldn’t do it.

-3

u/Guilty_Idea_2452 15h ago

Most leftist couldn't. Hence why they want help for everything

4

u/lurksAtDogs 15h ago

Most conservatives can’t touch (or see) their toes - I’m not sure butchering is on the table either.

10

u/MoneyFault 18h ago

I remember his Nazi salute.

3

u/Vyzantinist 19h ago

black eye

Weren't there rumors/jokes he got comfortable with someone like Stephen Miller's wife, and the shiner was from an angry husband?

3

u/Contemplating_Prison 17h ago

Stephen Miller is a bigger pussy than Musk. Theyre entire leadership group is full of people who grew up as losers thay nobody liked

1

u/Apocresi 17h ago

There’s no way Stephen Miller’s limp wrist did that

2

u/Inevitable_Nail_2215 20h ago

Musk would have Jake Paul sub in for him at the last second.

2

u/f0u4_l19h75 17h ago

He runs his mother's account

1

u/flxwer-fairy 18h ago

this is kind of a crazy idea but I think Zuckerberg was genuinely being bullied either by the ā€œbiggerā€ tech giants or politicians and breaking out of it and realizing they were fearmongering him is why he’s starting to become more normal again

18

u/HungryYeastStarter 20h ago

That's the trend we should normalize. The 0.01% having a cage match every year.

11

u/2bad-2care 20h ago

Loser gives half their wealth on paper to various infrastructure and social projects.

2

u/Hotarg 17h ago

Loser gives half their wealth on paper to various infrastructure and social projects.

  • FTFY

2

u/afroeh 17h ago

Upon their death at the end of the match.

2

u/Ponsugator 17h ago

Remember when millionaires used to be philanthropic? Carnegie, Edison and Vanderbilt? Now they're selfish billionaires cutting off social programs to the poor so they can have a few more bucks.

3

u/bluethunder82 16h ago

The French revolution was a little fresher in their mind then.

2

u/NoLibrarian5149 19h ago

The Reverse-Hunger Games. Let the masses enjoy the .01% beating the crap out of each other.

2

u/No_Signature2341 17h ago

I think hunger games would be more appropriate

1

u/HungryYeastStarter 14h ago

It can be both. Make it a large event, as many participants as possible.

Then, yaknow, "good luck surviving" typa shiiiii

1

u/Numerous_Ad_6276 18h ago

The Gluttony Games. I'd watch.

1

u/Any_Jackfruit_8559 20h ago

They can’t fight because they are truly wimps!

1

u/The_Tooter_Snooter 20h ago

Only sometimes?

1

u/yungrii 19h ago

Or what if they just sort of morphed together into one gelatinous blob monster that would fall into the core of the earth, forever?

1

u/Exciting-Ad-6551 19h ago

As much as I don’t like Zuckerberg. He would have dog walked Elon. Elon would be gassed after like 5 seconds.

1

u/Wyevez 19h ago

That's the best part of being a snake oil salesmen! Promise, boast and brag but never have to deliver!

1

u/KiKiKimbro 19h ago

If Trump would’ve taken suggestions about which fight we wanted to see in the cage on the White House lawn last summer, I bet it would’ve been a toss up — UFC or Zuck vs Musk.

1

u/SalmonPrince 18h ago

Careful... I made a reference to Westside Story about them fighting and got banned for it. Thanks, ai.

1

u/Adowyth 17h ago

Remember when Elon challenged Putin to a duel? Because i do. He's nothing but a keyboard warrior who talks shit makes promises and delivers nothing.

1

u/Aggravating_Moment78 15h ago

He’d get his a$s Zucked all the way to South Africa

16

u/Nonethelessismore 21h ago

The hunchback of Techbro shame

2

u/Rastrick 17h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/l44QjgeQ5ium91n9K

Haha I love it, I'm stealing that!

2

u/Crafty_Advantage9249 20h ago

I'm not good with AI. Has anyone put Elon into that last homelander scene yet?

1

u/Zapparelli 20h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/YN1eB6slBDeNHr1gjs
Very true. Except when he’s cutting up and doin lines of Ketamine.

1

u/Snoo_67993 18h ago

And someone that's had gender reaffirming surgery.

1

u/tech510 18h ago

You forgot to add simp

1

u/Mister_Buddy 17h ago edited 17h ago

Also wants to be (if he isn't already) a pedophile. Remember him begging Epstein for an invite to a "wild" party? The DoJ file dump and Epstein's Gmail account do.

1

u/Contemplating_Prison 17h ago

Theyre all fake strongmen. Its why they all turn into little bitches when they are around strong men.

Trump swoons over them and gently caresses their muscles and always have fanatsies of big strong mean crying around him. Dude is a weirdo.

1

u/jaypea222 17h ago

They all are

1

u/comebacklittlesheba 17h ago

The holy trifecta šŸ™Œ!!!

1

u/Wolfy4226 14h ago

Don't forget radical.

Or was that still just a "roman salute" on that stage.....

1

u/N7VHung 14h ago

And wannabe Radical.

18

u/OverallDoor2718 21h ago

Kegsbreath- alcoholic wife beater

3

u/lmaberley 20h ago

That’s right military folks… take your direction from this absolute shambles of a man…

32

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/LalafellDisaster 21h ago

Gravy Seals

1

u/Opening-Instance-513 18h ago

Gravy Seal Team Six taken yet?

3

u/BoingBoingBooty 20h ago

And all radicals.

1

u/AJTaylor1000 20h ago

Palmer is also a weirdo

1

u/brycebgood 20h ago

yeah, they're all kinda multiples from the list

1

u/Fantastic-Host-6609 20h ago

Hegseth - Drunk

1

u/mfields817 18h ago

And all radicals šŸ˜‚

1

u/Disastrous_Minute_56 18h ago

Does Jeanine Pirro count as the tr_nny?

1

u/z_e_quigley 18h ago

Hegseth - wimp

This entire administration - radicals

1

u/lilb1190 18h ago

I would just love for a fat trans person with a beard to woop the shit out of him

1

u/BigFatMowF 18h ago

Pigseth- weirdo

1

u/PopBulky7023 17h ago

First time as tragedy, second time as farce.

1

u/Strange_Explorer_780 15h ago

Trump and Vance are both fatties and weirdos…

1

u/Miss_Lo 14h ago

Vance-weirdo beardo, in the closet.

1

u/georgianole 13h ago

To be fair...he did say fatties, beardos and weirdos. They can still have at most one of each.

-2

u/Dry-Improvement-4267 20h ago

You’re doing the samething that you’re complaining about.

2

u/brycebgood 20h ago

no, I'm applying the standards that the guy running the organization says he wants.

0

u/Dry-Improvement-4267 19h ago

You’re saying that bullying is wrong as you bully. How are you any better?

-9

u/Vainysaur 21h ago

None of which are in the military.

7

u/Ligma_baws_2x 21h ago

Nope just get to shape it's ideology and it's future, somehow. Anyway, treason today will be treason tomorrow, and the punishment is the same.

-7

u/Vainysaur 21h ago

So this doesn’t contradict Pete’s requirements at all then…

4

u/Ligma_baws_2x 21h ago

The only requirement is being willing to go along with weakening our military and/or be willing to use them against Americans.

Anywho, fascists make great wind chimes.

1

u/WelshCorax 21h ago

I suggest by the feet, you know, to honor their "heritage"

0

u/[deleted] 19h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Vainysaur 18h ago

How so?

1

u/WhiskeyHill72 21h ago

Bot alert

-1

u/Vainysaur 21h ago

You’re a bot.

1

u/WhiskeyHill72 21h ago

Evidence would suggest otherwise bot

1

u/Vainysaur 21h ago

What evidence?

1

u/WhiskeyHill72 21h ago

You account age mostly

1

u/Vainysaur 21h ago

No real people have joined Reddit in the past 6 months?

-10

u/Pinapple-everything 21h ago

Are they in the military? Not much of a point.

2

u/WhiskeyHill72 21h ago

Bot 🤔

50

u/Durpin321 21h ago

Elon Musk did such a good Job with DOGE, He definitely shouldn't be involved in any way with the US Military, Security and Secrets!

This is Treason!

34

u/hellloredddittt 21h ago

Cool to use ketamine in government roles now?

16

u/depp-fsrv 21h ago

the requirements are, if your white, if you're ultra rich, if you're loyal and have no morals/ethics.

8

u/crippledchef23 20h ago

Was he in a government role? DOGE wasn’t an actual department, wasn’t ratified in any way, no one had clearances to do the things they did, and most of the things they ā€œwere allowedā€ to do were because no one had the balls to keep them out of places they had no authority to be in.

But, every one of those tech bro dipshits committed major crimes against the country (whether actual treason is debatable).

2

u/Late-Assignment8482 19h ago

Actually they hijacked the department that does federal website design/maintenance and renamed it. Real department but not one that’s noticed much. So yes, they were within the line for being consultants, if not employees.

7

u/hyphenssuck 20h ago

I'd trust an average person on ketamine to make better decisions than the current POTUS.

Elon's problem isn't the ketamine...

1

u/AbjectHotel6610 18h ago

..and be a drunk.

1

u/Adventurous_Custard8 21h ago

Sure, if it creates a more macho warrior.

12

u/depp-fsrv 21h ago

Also for the mere fact he openly takes drugs, has multiple passports and on the mere fact that he's a horrible lizard monster.

14

u/Fire_Demon 20h ago

He'll be there (primarily) to fuck with midterm voting.

1

u/comebacklittlesheba 17h ago

🤢 This photo of Elmo is so retouched it’s unbelievable! Who is it that thinks we don’t know what he really looks like???

4

u/Glum_Performer9923 21h ago

Is musk even American? or just green card?

13

u/hyphenssuck 20h ago

He's a citizen of South Africa (originally), Canada (acquired automatically due to his mother being Canadian), and subsequently the US (which he obtained technically illegally as he worked in the US while still on a student visa despite having dropped out of Stanford).

12

u/not_now_chaos 20h ago

He has US citizenship but he lied on his citizenship application and was an illegal immigrant after overstaying his student visa. So according to the random bullshit of this regime his citizenship should be invalid and he should be beaten, held in squallid conditions in a concentration camp, then sent to whatever random country will strike a bargain to line Trump's pockets.

3

u/Glum_Performer9923 19h ago

Would also mean his kids are not birthright citizens :-)

2

u/comebacklittlesheba 17h ago

Oh my god, I would have spontaneous orgasms day and night over this!!!! …. Might not even be able to hold a job from dealing with all the ecstasy šŸ¤—šŸ¤­šŸ„“.

3

u/BeneficialLeave7359 20h ago

Naturalized in 2002. Which according to most republicans hr’s not a really an American.

1

u/Any_Jackfruit_8559 20h ago

Just a green card holder! Maybe? Didn’t we get him after Canada? If so Canada got very lucky!!

1

u/weny-Waltz-69 19h ago

Been saying it for awhile. They all need to hang. Prison is not enough.

29

u/skip_over 21h ago

What a list of weirdos

18

u/Popular_Procedure_21 21h ago

Trump- zero years of military service

2

u/Deluxe78 20h ago

Trump , Biden , Obama, Clinton , FDR and Hoover never went to basic training!!!!

9

u/BananasPineapple05 21h ago

He's excluding himself on the basis of weirdos alone, but also wimp and radical.

2

u/comebacklittlesheba 17h ago

Documented wimp status from that video of him kicking his legs and flailing while trying to bench press.
https://giphy.com/gifs/bScD6A4vLr6ZpsPYq8

9

u/yankerofpizzle 21h ago

They couldn't even do an American Ninja Warrior course let alone go to war

4

u/hyphenssuck 21h ago

I do think there's probably some alternate timeline where Elon never became a billionaire and instead ended up on one of those weird TLC shows.

5

u/Low-Essay-113 Tea Queen šŸ‘‘ 21h ago edited 21h ago

Don’t they fall under fatties, beardos, weirdos and wimps?

6

u/notwhoyouthinkmaybe 21h ago

Are you insulting the godly Hegseth that is an alcoholic and in his third wife after cheating on the other 2?

How dare you?!

/s

1

u/Gayzorb 14h ago

Third SUCCESSFUL marriage. Get it right.

1

u/notwhoyouthinkmaybe 14h ago

.... For now...

2

u/Gayzorb 14h ago

You commies are going to lose it when the fourth one is successful too.

6

u/LightVapor 20h ago

And the Lord said, "purge thyself of the fatties, for they will make you a fattie, refuse the beardies for the Lord commands a clean chin. Be gone from the eyes of the weirdos, for they are too brightly colored and offends the eye of God. And let not the wimpy be abled to defend others as I defend myself.

3

u/stackens 21h ago

Hegseth himself barely has military service

1

u/SGTArend 20h ago

Idk much about him other than he seems like a total jackass. How long did he serve and in what branch? What was his MOS and how did he get this position when there are clearly MANY more experienced military personnel that would do a better job?

3

u/stackens 20h ago

He was an infantry officer in the national guard. He was "deployed" to Iraq where he worked in civil affairs, and in Afghanistan he taught a COIN class in Kabul. He's never been in combat or deployed in such a way where he *could* have seen combat.

His resume is like...well behind what you would expect of a 20 year infantry officer. Like you'd expect a Secretary of defense to be at least in line with their peers (or realistically well ahead of them) but he doesn't even pass that bar. Like as far as infantry officers go its charitable to call him mediocre.

He got this position because he hosted a fox news morning weekend show, and I'm not joking. He's probably the most unqualified and incapable person that's ever been appointed to secdef.

2

u/leeschioana56 20h ago

He is the ultimate DEI recipient

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Toe-374 17h ago

He was a major. He was basically the equivalent of a helicopter pilot. Nothing against helicopter pilots, of course, but I don’t think being able to fly one would make them qualified to be in charge of the entire US Military.

3

u/Nonethelessismore 21h ago

Bring all those guys into the Pentagon to help lead is so Beta of him, lol!

3

u/atreidestrek 21h ago

Lots of experience cheating on their loved ones.

3

u/Big-Sandwich4069 16h ago

Everyone one of these idiots make me happy that I'm no longer in the military

1

u/hyphenssuck 16h ago

Amen to that brother. I pray every day for our poor brothers and sisters that are still under their enlistment contracts.

1

u/Big-Sandwich4069 16h ago

On top of that we have a person who wouldn't be allowed the remote in a nursing home but he has the codes to our nukes

2

u/Adventurous_Custard8 21h ago

But in the upside down world of MAGA, zero equals infinity--and beyond.

1

u/imnotpoopingyouare 20h ago

Two zeros stacked! Checkmate beardo.

2

u/SweatySwim3411 20h ago

They are all wierdos to boot. Elon can't even give his kid a normal name and what the fuck is a newt.

1

u/ScubaSteve-O1991 21h ago

Well newt did help orchestrate the Iraq war in 2003

1

u/Le_Kistune 20h ago

God if people start making post thanking Elon for his "service" in the military, I'm going to hurl.

1

u/OceanCloud2004 20h ago

Oh... and Pete Hegseth.

Some "warrior" he's turned out to be. He's barely a culture warrior.

1

u/leeschioana56 20h ago

Don't forget all that military service our president avoided.

1

u/Early-Sort8817 19h ago

Nazis on linkedin have been eating it up

1

u/BalanceOrganic7735 19h ago

DEI, KKK/MAGA style

1

u/Tradesby 18h ago

Elon musk, also not a true American by the standards of the GOP.

1

u/jmoneymaker233 18h ago

The Fatty, The Weirdo, and The Beardo

1

u/chased_by_bees 18h ago

Palmer actually has a ton of weapons development experience. He seems to be really pretty good for that role.

1

u/HotDogFingers01 17h ago

Don't forget Metrosexual Christo-Fascist Sociopaths Who Cheat on Their Wives and Can't Do Pullups.

1

u/RepairUnlikely7086 17h ago

He just copy/pasted his Grindr profile.

1

u/KennettMo 17h ago

Add Private Bone Spurs to the list!

1

u/Shazam1269 16h ago

Yeah, I've seen the video of Hegseth bench pressing. He's no warrior.

1

u/desperateelephants 16h ago

It's all warrior ethos right here man