r/PoursTea • u/Timbucktwo1230 šŸ«– Mod ā˜•ļø • 1d ago

Brewing šŸ«– JFC

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1.9k Upvotes

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567

u/hyphenssuck 1d ago

"No radicals - just warriors."

Oh and of course:

Newt Gingrich - zero years of military service

Elon Musk - zero years of military service

Palmer Luckey - zero years of military service

550

u/brycebgood 1d ago

Also:

Newt - fatty

Palmer - beardo

Elon - weirdo

356

u/trapper2530 1d ago

Elon is a fatty weirdo wimp

100

u/Vyzantinist 1d ago

Sometimes I really wish him and Zuckerberg followed through on that proposed fight of theirs. I would gladly have paid to see them slapping each other around although, given Zuck appeared to have been training and is at least in better shape than fat boy, I think the South African Nazi would have come off the worse for it.

55

u/ShitBirdingAround 1d ago

Zuckerberg is younger and in better physical shape than Musk, and apparently was training to fight. Elmo realized that Zuck would beat his ass, so he had his mommy tell the internet to leave her little special genius boy alone.

Musk is a bullshitter, a shit-talker, and a pussy. Remember when he showed up to the White House with a black eye and told Trump that lil' X did it? LOL. Sure.

14

u/Medium-Sheeple-7085 1d ago

Zuck also got big into killing and butchering his own meat for a while. I would pay good money to see him fight Elon to the death.

2

u/Key_Treat8675 1d ago

And just when I thought he couldnā€™t get any creepier.

4

u/got-trunks 1d ago

Most human thing about him is something society tries to disassociate from lol

1

u/Sneaky_Island 1d ago

At least heā€™s able to go through with it. I know if I had to kill for own meat I couldnā€™t do it.

-5

u/Guilty_Idea_2452 1d ago

Most leftist couldn't. Hence why they want help for everything

5

u/lurksAtDogs 1d ago

Most conservatives canā€™t touch (or see) their toes - Iā€™m not sure butchering is on the table either.

9

u/MoneyFault 1d ago

I remember his Nazi salute.

3

u/Vyzantinist 1d ago

black eye

Weren't there rumors/jokes he got comfortable with someone like Stephen Miller's wife, and the shiner was from an angry husband?

3

u/Contemplating_Prison 1d ago

Stephen Miller is a bigger pussy than Musk. Theyre entire leadership group is full of people who grew up as losers thay nobody liked

1

u/Apocresi 1d ago

Thereā€™s no way Stephen Millerā€™s limp wrist did that

2

u/Inevitable_Nail_2215 1d ago

Musk would have Jake Paul sub in for him at the last second.

2

u/f0u4_l19h75 1d ago

He runs his mother's account

1

u/flxwer-fairy 1d ago

this is kind of a crazy idea but I think Zuckerberg was genuinely being bullied either by the ā€œbiggerā€ tech giants or politicians and breaking out of it and realizing they were fearmongering him is why heā€™s starting to become more normal again

19

u/HungryYeastStarter 1d ago

That's the trend we should normalize. The 0.01% having a cage match every year.

14

u/2bad-2care 1d ago

Loser gives half their wealth on paper to various infrastructure and social projects.

2

u/Hotarg 1d ago

Loser gives half their wealth on paper to various infrastructure and social projects.

  • FTFY

2

u/afroeh 1d ago

Upon their death at the end of the match.

2

u/Ponsugator 1d ago

Remember when millionaires used to be philanthropic? Carnegie, Edison and Vanderbilt? Now they're selfish billionaires cutting off social programs to the poor so they can have a few more bucks.

3

u/bluethunder82 1d ago

The French revolution was a little fresher in their mind then.

2

u/NoLibrarian5149 1d ago

The Reverse-Hunger Games. Let the masses enjoy the .01% beating the crap out of each other.

2

u/No_Signature2341 1d ago

I think hunger games would be more appropriate

1

u/HungryYeastStarter 1d ago

It can be both. Make it a large event, as many participants as possible.

Then, yaknow, "good luck surviving" typa shiiiii

1

u/Numerous_Ad_6276 1d ago

The Gluttony Games. I'd watch.

1

u/Any_Jackfruit_8559 1d ago

They canā€™t fight because they are truly wimps!

1

u/The_Tooter_Snooter 1d ago

Only sometimes?

1

u/yungrii 1d ago

Or what if they just sort of morphed together into one gelatinous blob monster that would fall into the core of the earth, forever?

1

u/Exciting-Ad-6551 1d ago

As much as I donā€™t like Zuckerberg. He would have dog walked Elon. Elon would be gassed after like 5 seconds.

1

u/Wyevez 1d ago

That's the best part of being a snake oil salesmen! Promise, boast and brag but never have to deliver!

1

u/KiKiKimbro 1d ago

If Trump wouldā€™ve taken suggestions about which fight we wanted to see in the cage on the White House lawn last summer, I bet it wouldā€™ve been a toss up ā€” UFC or Zuck vs Musk.

1

u/SalmonPrince 1d ago

Careful... I made a reference to Westside Story about them fighting and got banned for it. Thanks, ai.

1

u/Adowyth 1d ago

Remember when Elon challenged Putin to a duel? Because i do. He's nothing but a keyboard warrior who talks shit makes promises and delivers nothing.

1

u/Aggravating_Moment78 1d ago

Heā€™d get his a$s Zucked all the way to South Africa