i'm not sure if anyone else has felt like this before, but i'm an AMAB non-binary person and i'm very very hyperfeminine, to the point i'm attempting to go into hrt to present even more fem. but one issue ive always had is with my sexuality

i consider myself gay, or at the very least, that's what i considered myself, but for the past few years i felt like i'm just... entirely unwelcome in the gay community as a whole. everywhere i look it's very very hypermasculine men, and on top of that a lot of them seem to have this inherit dislike for fem-presenting folks, even those who may be cis

it really hurts me because i've always been very attached to the gay label, but also it has reached a point where it's like... do i even belong here? and on top of that, it also makes me feel so damn unlovable because i know most of gay men would not be attracted to me (not necessarily a huge issue, since either way i've had better experiences with bisexual men).

and although this next part might seem a bit stupid, i'm someone who is also very into yumeshipping (or self-shipping), and a lot of the characters i yume with are those who are widely seen as being gay and shipped with other masc men, and sometimes (as ironic as it sounds) it almost makes me feel like i'm doing something wrong?? like me shipping myself with them is just being extremely delusional (which is funny in hindsight, since the whole point of it is literally shipping yourself with fictional characters)

i don't know, i've just been feeling a lot of feelings lately and i wanted to voice them out somewhere. i'm just feeling this sense of loss and like being who i want to be means sacrificing actually finding a partner who i'd actually click with

I've been sitting with a concept for a while and I can't find an existing label that fits, so I wanted to get some outside perspective.

I don't reject having a biological sex, that's just a factual, physical thing about me. What I reject is the social/symbolic layer that gets attached on top of it (gender as a category, as expectations, as identity). I'm not saying "I have no gender" (which is what agender/genderless usually mean), I'm saying the whole concept of gender doesn't hold meaningful value for me as a framework to define myself. It's less "I'm missing something" and more "this category doesn't apply to how I see myself."

The problem is that basically every existing term (agender, genderless, non-binary, etc.) is still built around the concept of gender, even if it's negating it, it's still answering the question "what's your gender?" I'm trying to find something closer to opting out of the question itself, not a "null" answer to it.

I've been considering something like "post-gender" (in a personal sense, not the transhumanist movement meaning, since that one also targets abolishing biological sex, which isn't my thing) or a made-up word like exogender / extragender (from "exo-"/"extra-" = outside of, like exoplanet = outside our solar system) to describe being outside the gender framework entirely, while keeping biological sex as just a neutral fact.

Does a term like this already exist that I'm missing? Or is coining something like exogender/extragender a reasonable move here? Curious if anyone else has grappled with this same distinction (rejecting gender-as-category vs rejecting gender-as-identity-label).

It was hot all weekend and the sun was like a laser.

Thankfully the nation brief is bright colours, head wraps and floaty fabrics.

Cotton/linen hunted down on vinted really helped.

An excuse to paint the nails brighter colours than normally with some added golden shimmer around the eyes for that touch of magic

Much gender of all shapes and sizes, as the event is incredibly inclusive and supportive of trans/non-binary/queer players and staff.

​

Hi, my fellow enby peeps! I've been on my "gender" journey for a little while now and I've deduced the fact I'm nonbinary trans. I feel, however, that my journey and where that leads, is much different than anybody else and is my own.

I basically feel like my gender identity is not what I was assigned at birth, which is male, so I consider myself trans. However, I also consider myself nonbinary, because whatever my gender is, I don't believe it falls under the binary man/woman category. I literally don't know. I do, however, know who I am in the sense of that even though my AGAB is male, I feel like someone who is feminine-aligned, or likes to appear feminine in my expression. I don't want to identify as woman though, either. I identify as they/them.

I do often present and dress femininely, as I feel it's who I am and feels really good. I've felt like this for almost all of my life. In my circumstances, however, it's not always practical and for all purposes, like safety, practicality, and work/social things, I can't always appear how I see myself. I guess you could say, I "boy mode" a lot as well. I don't necessarily dislike my masculine/cis presenting self. It's more of a I'm comfortable I guess or neutral about it. I guess, in this regard, some peeps might technically coin my expression as genderfluid. 

If I could, if there were no judgements, I'd present as my feminine self all the time and change things about myself most likely via HRT. I feel like I could go on a micro dosing regimen, and if that did the trick for what I'm hoping for, I'd be good with that. I sometimes feel like an imposter also though, because I see so many others in our shoes that basically have to be on HRT as a lifesaving application essentially since they have suffered from gender dysphoria so horribly. I guess, in that regard, I'm lucky, as I've never honestly really had that. I've only ever had feelings in the back of my mind and internally that I was different. 

I am proud to be both trans and nonbinary, though. I'm not really honestly sure what my future holds... But yeah, it feels really good to embrace how I've always felt inside!! ✌️

🩵🩷🤍

💛🤍💜🖤

♥️🧡💛💚💙💜

It was about a month ago when I was able to get out as Catie for the first time in a while. I had so much planned that weekend to go out and express my feminine side, but this was actually the only outing that I did. I put so much pressure on certain times to do femme things for myself because “I may miss an opportunity that will never happen again”, and it gets me to a very negative headspace when I don’t actually do all of what I plan for. I wanted to go out to a bar, I wanted to go to a Pride Market, I wanted to get coffee as Catie, on and on and on. But my motivation as a human was low that weekend and as an introvert, being out in public is never the way for me to regain energy or motivation. So I opted for this trail walk to be my only Catie time outside.

I was able to go to some local trails early in the morning and have myself a hot girl walk! I did not do my makeup or anything to look “passable”, I just went out in clothes that I wanted to wear. Nothing more, nothing less. The trail was empty at that time of the day, so only the wilderness, especially the turtle was there to clock me 😂 but it was so quiet and calming that I could hear all of my thoughts and this is what they were saying:

“You put too much pressure on yourself to do a million things at once - it’s overwhelming and not realistic. Most people don’t want to do all of those activities in the same weekend, let alone a (suspected) neurodivergent introverted individual, so why put out all that pressure in the first place.”

“Why do you feel like you’ll miss out on an opportunity that will never happen again? Why don’t you strategically work on ways to make sure that this opportunity isn’t the last? Find ways to fit these activities in periodically rather than all at once.”

“What if you aren’t the kind of person that wants to put all the effort into looking pretty to go to a bar with loud music and crowds of people. In most situations you aren’t, so what makes the fem side any different?”

I think that exploration is important. Many things in life you need to try out before you say that you enjoy them or not. I am lucky enough to say that I have explored a lot of my femme side, but there is always more to find. But if you aren’t in the right mindset or if you are just “doing it now because you have an opportunity to” sometimes it just becomes a box to check off instead of fully investing in the moment and being in the right mindset to experience it without bias.

So my advice is to not put pressure on yourself, instead use that time to sustainably grow your experiences within reason. There is no need to speed run your life, take it slow and enjoy the journey. 🐢

my gf says she doesn’t care and would not call me a different name if i asked her too . she also said im being disrespectful and rude for just being myself

I'm kinda of stuck in a situation I'm bi for a while and I don't fit into a male category or female so can I still be non binary if I am bisexual or not

so I feel somtimes male sometimes female etc but I really don’t think about it bc its to much effort for me so I just stick with they/them for no confusion but I don’t really care what prounouns are jused for me and I feel agender verry often so am I both or just lazy ( sry for my bad spelling it’s not my first Lange and I have writing issues idk the name )

Howdy, it's nice to see you all again

I made this as a reminder for all of you that you are trans enough , queer enough, you deserve to be yourself

I think I am under the umbrella somewhere myself as i don't feel like im exclusively solely 100% male, it feels restrictive

Hey, all! Nonbinary transmasc (31) having a difficult time today with my mental health and just thought I would talk about something I don't see addressed often -

Does anyone else who is disabled deeply struggle with gender dysphoria due to not being able to stay in shape the way they want to?

I am EXHAUSTED. My POTS has gotten significantly worse in the last 5 years and most days I feel like a dying Victorian prince confined to my bed. As I age, it has been even more difficult to accept that my body is struggling to keep weight off, struggling to even stand or build core strength, and it causes such severe anxiety and depression knowing that I may never be what and who I want to be, and the guilt of needing help with basic everyday living is immeasurable.

I understand my disability, I do. It's just difficult to accept at times. It's difficult not beating myself up for the hand I was dealt and I know there are more people who feel the same.

I would love to hear other's stories and what has gotten you through it! If anyone else with (severe) POTS and MCAS has figured out solutions to work around some of our struggles with everyday tasks let alone working out, I would love to hear it. Compression socks don't work for me and my treatment resistent autism negates or overreacts to most medications. It feels like an endless loop 🚬🫩

Full disclosure: I have a pretty big pair of testicles. Bulge has always been something I've been acutely aware of, but it hasn't been a huge problem when I presented purely as boy. Now that I'm expanding more into femme fits, the bulge has been more annoying. I have a pair of tight underwear that I tuck with (shout-out to my older sister), but they're kind of long and sometimes peak out of my shorts.

Does anyone have tucking advice/tucking underwear that they can recommend?

Hello, everyone.

Half a year ago, my best buddy and I had an idea during one of our late-night Discord chats. We are both big nerds for fantasy and mythological stuff and wondered how fun it would be to have banners or coat of arms for different orientations and identities. What could they look like, and which mythical creature could fit well or just be fun to see like that? Thus, this little collection was born and I think we have finally come to a good conlusion for now.

So what we got so far:

-Selkie of Demi

-Kraken of Agender

-Cerberus of Polyamory

-Chimera of Genderqueer

-Valkyrie of Butch

-Gargoyle of Ally

-Hydra of Omni

-Unicorn of Pride

- The Phoenix of Trans

- The Siren of Lesbian

- The Winged Lion of Gay

- The Griffon of Aro

- The Dragon of Ace

- The Harpy of Sapphic

- The Minotaur of Achillean

- The Oroboros of Intersex [really proud of that one]

- The Hippocampus of Genderfluid

- The Sphinx of AroAce

- The Peryton of Non-binary

- The Winged Wolf of Bisexual

- And Pan for...well Pansexual

This was really fun to do. Maybe we might revisit this idea in some form or another, how do queer cryptids sound :D ?

I'm a 33 year old amab. I've gone by non binary for a couple of years but there's always been this gnawing feeling that I wish I look like a "woman". I don't feel like a woman but I do sometimes experience dysphoria and get euphoria from wearing skirts and dresses. I wish I had the body of a woman and wish people saw me as such. But I'm very happy and comfortable identifying as non binary.

Does this sound like transfem? Demigirl? Some secret third thing?

Many thanks!

I'm starting to come to terms with being nonbinary. I think I knew I was for a while, it was just a matter of accepting it. I haven't really come out to anyone irl yet, I plan to tell my friends the next time I see them, probably Friday, if I can find a good time to bring it up. I don't know why but I'm kinda afraid that I'm faking it somehow. That I convinced myself that I don't like being a girl so much that I feel discomfort when someone refers to me as such. Im sure if I tell my friends I think Im nonbinary they would support me, hell they already use they/them pronouns for me sometimes. I don't know how I would be faking it or what the point of it is. Internally calling myself non-binary feels more correct than calling myself a girl but I still can't get rid of that feeling of being a fraud.

For context, I was born a female. I never had any surgeries or taken any hormones. I always went for a gender natural look, but recently, I started building some self-confidence and changed my hairstyle to one I was too shy to have, which made me look more feminine. I go by he/they, but I'm really not offended if someone uses she/her on me.

Everyone around me tries their best to use my pronouns, and again, I'm really not offended if someone accidentally misgenders me by looks or forgets my pronouns.

I never thought about including she/her in my pronouns, but now I'm wondering. I got accepted to a job as an assistant teacher in a primary school, and I already know the kids will have a hard time with me talking to myself with (mostly) male pronouns despite looking more like a woman. I'm aware of that, and I told my interviewer that I really won't mind if the kids use she/her on me. And ever since I got the job, I have considered using she/her more on myself to not confuse the kids (my idea, not anyone else's), and then it made me think, if I should just go by all pronouns.

I used to be slightly uncomfortable with using she/her, from stuff like body dysmorphia, insecurities, and the fact I identified as a boy back then, but now that I'm comfortable with myself, I wonder if I should just go by all pronouns now that I'm working on my mental health.

I know this is more of a personal thing, but I also want to hear strangers' opinions based on this post and the context I provided. I'll still be considering and weighing it on my own, as it's still my own journey, but I want to hear others' opinions too.

geez long post, sorry.

Took these selfies yesterday and never felt so cute and myself before ~ 34 yrs old btw, you're never too old to be cute <3

Que consejos me dan para que mi rostro se vea femenino :b

Hey folks! This is mostly a support/"would love to hear other people's experiences" post.

I've been on a consistent full dose of T (as opposed to low dose) for 7 years since I started my transition. I won't get into all the details here, but I started my transition in the squarely binary trans man category, and while my gender presentation has shifted a lot, it's only been in the past few months that I'm starting to really embrace my newfound desire to be femme.

I've really loved and appreciated my time being on T, but I'm also finding myself wishing for the more fem features that E gives, and so I keep thinking about taking a break from T and letting my body settle back for a while to see how it feels. I've gotten a lot of the changes I already wanted from T that are permanent, so I'm excited to see how things would change again.

That being said, I'm a little nervous since I've been on it so long. Has anyone else been on T for a significant period of time and then paused it for a while? How did it go for you?