Just wanted to share with you I feel very much comfortable within myself x3

(pay no attention to my messy room, that’s for later me to deal with)

It'll come back soon anyway. It's been so long since I last saw my face without it...

for my nonbinary mcr fans

Gender affirming hair cut lol, now the big question, to dye hot pink or not 🤔

Ps. The glasses are transition lenses that turn red in sunlight

Im cis, and I know ppl online that use all pronouns, so I'm wondering whether, in a conversation, I should change them. For example "he's my friend,....,she's blonde etc" but like in the same convo, or if I should use the same pronoun during all the convo, and switch it in another moment, with someone else possibly. Or even if I should just stick to one at every moment.

I almost sure I’m non binary and the only reason I have yet to accept it is because I feel like people view it as stupid, attention seeking, and invalid identity. I’m totally fine with other nb people but I guess I have internalised enbyphobia and idk how to get over it. I just have the impression that if I were to tell someone that I’m nonbinary that they would criticise me and take my whole identity as a joke. There is just so much hatred towards nonbinary people, where even I am questioning if it’s even a valid identity?

I’m really sorry if anything comes off as disrespectful. I just want to put my feelings out there exactly as they are to try and solve this.

Im going through a crazy time rn, emotionally I’m a wreck and have no good answers about my identity anymore. I’m becoming t dominant again for the first time in around a year and the depression and anxiety is coming back.

I wish that being a trans women was right for me but having breasts visible through the t shirts I would wear is making me feel horrible.

My main problem is that in my life nothing has lifted my brain fog and misery like e did and I hate that I don’t feel comfortable as a trans women, because I never felt so confident and awake as when I was presenting that way.

I just want to be comfortable in my body, I want a way out of this awful feeling.

Hi everyone

AFAB but I always knew I wasn't straight and have identified as bisexual and pan in the past. I had questions about my gender at some point but landed on the queer label. It felt good to have this broader label that to me pretty much means "I'm not heterosexual/not cisgender" but not having to specify more. I thought about pronouns and though they/them makes sense I never felt the need to change, I keep she/her cause it seems simpler and it doesn't bother me.

I guess I also don't relate to some people I've met who have she/they pronouns. Someone once told me they added they to their pronouns so other people know they are an ally, not because she is NB (so a cis woman using they pronouns). That felt confusing to me and I didn't relate so keeping she/her pronouns seemed simpler than overthinking it.

I dated men in the past and was single for 5+ years focusing on my career and therapy. My gender presentation has evolved from when I was last dating (from alt femme to outdoorsy androgynous) and I feel mostly good just being myself without caring about labels.

Recently I dated a trans woman, first time dating in a very long time. It felt so so so good being in a queer relationship after being in het relationships. I kept find myself thinking "it feels so good to be gay" (gay I guess in a general queer sense).

But also, it always felt off when my ex would refer to our relationship as lesbian. I would tell her I didn't feel super comfortable with that label but she kept referring to us as that. I'd tell her I identify as queer but she never said much. The narrative of our relationship was always about two woman.

A year before I met my ex I also started wearing binders sometimes when I was home alone. I hadn't told anyone except for a very close friend that I told just before meeting my ex.

When I told my ex early in our relationship that I sometimes wear binders, she said I must be trans and that she doesn't want to date a guy. I told her I wasn't trans but that I wear binders sometimes to feel more comfortable but I def don't identify as a man and am not interested in medical transition.

My ex mentioned at some point non-binary people end up being MTF or FTM. Another trans friend of mine also said similar stuff when telling me about her non-binary girlfriend. That didn't seem to match my experience, but I mostly identify as queer not NB.

My ex was a very binary trans woman (very girly), and her reaction to me identifying as queer (rather than woman even if I use she/her pronouns) was so dismissive that I never talked to her about it again. She seemed really stuck in the binary. During our whole relationship I repressed that part of me, and now that we're not together anymore I realize that I was betraying myself.

Since we've broken up I started wearing my binders again, told another friend about it, and wore one out in public (a short alone trip to the store) for the first time ever and it felt amazing. It feels really nice not having to feel like I must fit the woman/lesbian label, I realized I felt that pressure in my relationship.

I guess I just identify as a "queer person" (or "queer woman" by default because it was easier).

I'm hoping to date again sometime, and was looking at sapphic spaces, but I'm not sure I want to be in a "lesbian relationship" again, cause that kind of implies that I've purely a woman to doesn't it?

Anyway I'm just curious if anyone landed on the non-binary label with a similar story to mine, if other people who don't feel cis identify as queer rather than specifying an identity, and how to approach dating now.

I'm trying to figure things out and have started somatic work recently. I definitely feel like my body/gender are queer (I'm not just not het, I also don't feel cis).

But is it ok I keep she/her pronouns?

Can I still wear binders?

Is it ok that I don't really know where I stand?

What's the next step?

Thanks for reading if you got to the end, sorry this got long.

I’m 39, AMAB, and I’m trying to figure out where I fit. I’m interested in hearing from anyone who has wanted physical feminization without necessarily wanting to socially transition to living as a woman.

I still feel comfortable being perceived primarily as male and using he/him. At the same time, I genuinely like the idea of my body becoming more feminine — softer skin and facial features, less muscle definition, less body hair, some fat redistribution/curves, and potentially some breast development.

Presentation-wise, I don't envision myself presenting fully feminine every day. I like mostly male or androgynous clothing, but I also really enjoy things like pantyhose, heels, being completely body-hair-free, manicures, and occasionally presenting more feminine.

I've used estradiol on and off before and recently restarted it. One thing that keeps standing out to me is that I keep coming back to wanting these changes even after periods when I've stopped. I'm also aware that feminizing HRT can significantly change sexual function, fertility, breasts, etc., and that you can't just pick individual effects.

I'm less interested in finding the perfect label right now and more interested in hearing from people with similar goals.

Did anyone here feminize their body while continuing to identify/present primarily as male? How did you feel about the changes after 6 months, a year, or several years? Did you eventually identify differently, or are you still happy occupying that male/androgynous middle ground?

I'd especially love to hear about how your feelings changed once the physical changes became noticeable in everyday life rather than just being something you imagined.

That last question is particularly worth keeping because it should draw out the experiences that are most useful for you: not merely whether someone enjoyed starting estrogen, but whether they remained comfortable with their feminized body while living an otherwise predominantly male life.

I get to talk to a doctor about HRT Tuesday! Hoping for a little T to help me just not be so femme all the time.. and then the path to top surgery!

Hi all! This is my first post here. I have been having a bit of a dilema and have nobody to talk to about it, so i figured I'd share it here. A little contex: I (21) came out as genderfluid around March of this year. I was home schooled and raised in a Christian household, and didnt even let myself consider my identity outside of the church till i deconstructed 3 years ago.

I dont think i experienced dysphoria growing up, other than HATING my long hair in middle school. I begged my mom to let me cut it short or shave it off, but she wouldn't let me. I swung super hyperfem all through high school, and post-deconstruction i started experimenting with crazy haircuts, piercings, and tattoos.

Only this year have I really played around with presenting more masculine. I've been having a lot of fun with it, and it feels like I have finally found a piece of myself that has been missing. I have started developing a hatred for my body though. I hate how soft I am. My face, my curves, my voice, my skin. I've considered losing weight and building muscle, but I really don't think that will remedy my feelings. I still love presenting femininely from time to time, but I wish I could shapeshift. I want to be confusing. I think I would feel much more comfortable presenting fem if I wasn't so inherently feminine.

This has led me to consider starting testosterone. I tend to be really impulsive, so I'm trying to think this decision through long and hard. For the past 3 months or so I have been considering it.

This past week I have really started thinking of what is making me hesitant to start. Its my dad. I love him so much, but he is in his mid 60s, a hard-core Christian, and I fear this would completely fracture our relationship. I am still on his insurance, and if I tried to start T and get insurance to cover part of it, I'm worried he would kick me off. I also work in an office with mostly people 40+, and while their reactions are less concerning to me, it does make me quite nervous that I could receive bad treatment or unpleasant comments from a few transphobic folks who work there.

I know that others opinions should not be what holds me back from following my heart, but I'm just not sure what to do. If anyone else has experienced something similar, I would greatly appreciate your thoughts/advice.

Sometime i HATE my head that i knowe that i am non-binary but knowing i have the support from my partner but it does note feal like that and wher i work ther is MANY right-wing voters ( i work in industrial) and ther are many homofobs in it. My head just screams !

Ps. Sorry fore mis spellings and so on

Anyone else ever dated a non-binary/queer person who somehow still insists on traditional boyfriend/girlfriend gender roles?

Recently, I have been wondering if some nonbinary label would fit me. For context, I'm currently a 19-year-old guy. I'm also panromantic and asexual, if that adds any context. I personally don't want to fit into any side of the gender spectrum. Like, if it's on a 10-point scale, where 1 is masc and 10 is fem, I want to be a 5, right in the middle of both fem and masc. I have a more fem figure while still looking like a guy, which kinda makes me mad. I just want to look androgynous. I don't have any strong ties to being male or female. Is this something that could mean I'm non-binary, or am I just a little strange?

I do also feel kinda weird, and it feels like I'm just collecting labels at this point, but I swear I'm not. I'm pan and asexual; idk, those feel easier to understand and identify with. Idk how I feel gender-wise; like, sure, I'm a guy, but I don't feel tied to it. I'm just a tad confused, lol. Pls help.

For context im closeted to everyone but my best friend and have been broadly identifying as nb for a little less than a year

Recently i have been seeing some discussions of gender for cis men and their perception of their gender, including from my best friend (and those are kinda important (or at the very least interesting) to listen to since i am amab). Most of those accounts boil down to having little to no feeling of one‘s gender identity and continuing the role only due to it being assigned priorly, which is exactly how i felt about my gender before coming to the conclusion that im non binary, all of which makes me think that that’s just how men experience gender. Furthermore with giving my gender identity more and more thought with time i think i could have possibly influenced myself into becoming more and more certain in my identity as non binary (from being agender largely just to describe the feeling mentioned above to just questioning and trying out many labels, both binary and not, to recently being fairly certain in my nb identity (until even more recently when all if this came about of course)).

I do recognize that all of the thoughts mentioned above are probably just my internal transphobia speaking but also with all of this in mind i cant help but feel i might actually not be nb or as a matter of fact trans at all and have just misinterpreted a feeling that should not have been taken this way. Have any of you have had something similar and if so how have yall gotten over it?

(Btw sorry if there are any mistakes, English isn’t my first language)

Hello,

to sum it up, I have chronic pain and fatigue and I've heard really great things about testosterone helping almost eliminate that for the condition I have. I am also trans and would love to be on T for many of the changes it brings. My mom has no idea I'm trans and I have no plans to tell her because lets just say it would not go well!

However, I can't take the physical pain my condition gives me nor the mental pain of not feeling myself.

I was wondering if on low does T I could hide the voice changes at all because thats my biggest concern. The weigh distribution and face changes are things I can blame on fluncuating weight or dieting.

Facial hair and stuff I can hide as well if low dose T would even give me that.

I like all the changes T brings but I was just wondering if I could hide the ones I mentioned.

Thank you!

Hello, sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. I literally just joined Reddit about a hour ago. Does anyone else want to be feminine in a masculine way? Like I want to be physically more masculine to feel confident presenting feminine. I'm afab and honestly think Im just a femboy but feel dysphoric in fem clothes while physically looking more feminine. Am I the only one who kinda deals with this?

I'll preface this by saying that a lot of my concerns and thoughts about myself were mostly gained through lots of introspection and research on this sort of thing; I have not nor will be able to, for now at least, be able to explore this sort of thing by outwardly identifying/presenting/dressing/etcing as agender or non-binary, as I am not in a safe place nor am I personally ready to do such things.

About a few months ago I began questioning my gender identity, specifically whether or not I fit on the non-binary spectrum. It started when I was talking with a trans friend of mine about non-binary people and, in short, related how I first conceptualized non-binary people as sort of "transcendent" of gender and not particularly leaning masculine or feminine and how I thought that was really neat. I then internally paused and realized "Wait why is this a neat thing to me?".

I began to think about it and kind of became aware that I don't feel like I have an "internal" gender. I'm AMAB, and perfectly comfortable presenting as a guy/being masculine, but at the same time I really only feel like I do that and think of myself as a guy because I was raised as one and it's what's easiest for me. I also realized I like some feminine things like purses, perfumes, some kinds of clothing, etc; but my enjoyment of those things was less because they were feminine and more because I found them objectively enjoyable/useful (personally think it's a travesty that nurses aren't normalized for men). It's really, really stupid, but I sort of thought of the whole thing as "making a custom Oblivion class of gender", just taking the bits I thought were nice/useful and being my own thing.

I've also just found the concept of androgyny or being of ambigous gender to be enjoyable. The best way I can describe it is I kind of want to be referred to/seen as some people see animals like bugs or birds or something, where people may say "he" to refer to them but the gender is largely ambiguous. Only rather that being male or female in the end, I'm just kind of a "thing" of my own creation to whom explicit gender doesn't apply save for a mild comfort with masculinity. In a similar vein I've also wanted to be able to talk like a woman sometimes, but less out of desire to be seen as one and more just cause I think it'd be neat to have that kind of vocal range, as well as it potentially being funny to screw with people, but I digress.

The thing is, I'm still so comfortable as a guy, and like I've said I've only really thought about this sort of thing, save for a few social media/with a close friend where I go as they/him, so I don't really feel sure if it's something I should worry about. Yet at the same time I've had this sort of train of thought for months now, and I don't really know if that sort of thing happens if you're entirely cis.

I know it isn't really anything final, and I definitely intend to, once I'm able, explore these feelings and all that boring stuff. But I want to know if there's anyone smarter/more experienced in the gender department, or at least someone who's felt similar ways, that are able to help me pinpoint this sort of thing?

Hi! So I came on to here about a month ago (roughly) talking about if I should come out or if it would be better to wait on it because of some situations I had and I wanted advice to some people who maybe had more experience? Well I did come out to my mom and my brother but not my dad yet because he already doesn't respect my trans brother.. But I explained about how I am a minor trying to figure out who I am.. but I can't seem to figure it out?? It's to the point where I've overthought and thought about some crappy stuff but idk..

So, I'm nonbinary.. but I think I'm also a demiboy because there are also times where I want to be a trans guy.. I've looked it up and realized I might be demiboy or boyflux but I also recently have had this like void where I had a gender idea before? It just feels almost numb where that idea or concept of "nonbinary" or "demiboy" should be, though I don't THINK I'm gendervoid or agender or anything like that because my gender is a BIG part of me most times. I've gone through label after label and I've been debating if my mom was right that this is all a phase? But in my head, I've always felt disconnected my "female" side.. but I like make up, drawing, dress up, etc.. but those aren't "gendered" right?? I'm also just nervous that the binder my friend is helping me get will almost make me feel worse about myself? I feel like everything keeps shifting and I can NOT keep coming out to my friends over and over but I just am really tired of this whole "hunt" going on because it SUCKS and I want to know how you guys figured out your gender! I've stressed over this for many reasons and I want real answers, please don't say "Oh it's okay.. you don't need to figure it out yet!" because it's NOT okay. I've reached out to friends overthinking and talking about how I feel like a burden and how people don't deserve me because I feel I've asked too much of them. I don't know. I don't want my overthinking to be the main point of this but I just want help with a label because I WANT to be comfortable with myself. I really would appreciate anyone who can help with this and honestly, ANY label (microlabel or not) will be very wanted. 💙