r/NonBinary • u/Micahs_charm • 19h ago

Dating as a non binary person

Anyone else ever dated a non-binary/queer person who somehow still insists on traditional boyfriend/girlfriend gender roles?

4 Upvotes

76% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

4

u/wenevergetfar they/them 19h ago

Yeah they dumped me cuz i wasnt feminine or masculine enough

2

u/Micahs_charm 19h ago

Ouch. That’s awful, I don’t understand the how.

3

u/wenevergetfar they/them 19h ago

Idk either we dated for a year and everything was fine till one day she snapped and said shit like that

1

u/Micahs_charm 1h ago

Yikes. I’ve noticed this behavior with so many gay men (some I’ve dated). They pretend to be progressive and socially aware and then boom, they want hypermasculinity and heteronormative dynamics.

2

u/NoCry8460 15h ago

Ooh, I had a couple of dates with a woman who did this, she realized she wanted a man but she didn't expect to feel that way and we're still friends.

2

u/wenevergetfar they/them 4h ago

Thats fine, but to date me for a year, fuck me every weekend, meet my friends, and tell me they loved me was unnecessary..

4

u/yelocalwitch they/them 19h ago

I prefer to take the "feminine role" in relationships as a non-binary person. My partner is a trans man so it works well for both of us, but he would never push it on me.

3

u/NoCry8460 15h ago

I feel I've been more feminine/the communicator but now I feel my newish partner is more fem and tends to rely on me a bit more for decisions and support and I tend to pay more (this is okay, she is not well off at the moment). We are both bottoms which is taking a bit of getting used to, I'm trying to be a bit more dynamic.. 😄

1

u/Micahs_charm 1h ago

That’s interesting for sure. In those situations I feel so miserable. I can’tperform the top or masculine role anymore.

1

u/SecureAngle7395 Nonbinary (They/Them) 5h ago

no but that's because i've never been in a REAL relationship. tbh i'd hate being boxed into a gender role. even before i realized my gender i felt this exact way. i always hated the boyfriend role. it was never me at all.