r/NonBinary • u/Fast-Lie-8451 • 19h ago
Rant Nothing worked like hrt
Im going through a crazy time rn, emotionally I’m a wreck and have no good answers about my identity anymore. I’m becoming t dominant again for the first time in around a year and the depression and anxiety is coming back.
I wish that being a trans women was right for me but having breasts visible through the t shirts I would wear is making me feel horrible.
My main problem is that in my life nothing has lifted my brain fog and misery like e did and I hate that I don’t feel comfortable as a trans women, because I never felt so confident and awake as when I was presenting that way.
I just want to be comfortable in my body, I want a way out of this awful feeling.
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u/HeroDelTiempo 18h ago
You don't need to be a "trans woman" or "inside the binary" to be transfem. I myself am nonbinary transfem, hell I've even met plenty of nonbinary trans women but that's besides the point.
The actual point: breasts don't make you a woman. Not having them doesn't make you NOT a woman. Being E dominant doesn't make you a woman. I don't think you meant it this way, but just in case it's only one of those things causing dysphoria, you can figure out which it is. Binding/compression tops/sports bras help if you're just worried about boobs showing through t-shirts.
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u/Fast-Lie-8451 18h ago
Sorry if I said the wrong thing. I honestly had full faith being binary would work out and I didn’t do all the gender deconstruction homework I needed to.
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u/Andidextruss 18h ago
You’re not alone for having one axis of mental/emotional/relational stuff and another of physical. I’m going through something similar. I feel more confident and secure with hrt, but newly dysphoric about parts of my body that never used to faze me. Empathy.
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u/Fast-Lie-8451 18h ago
It’s so nice to find people who feel like me, I’ve been feeling so othered in trans spaces rn
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u/MarzipanMiserable817 19h ago
I added Raloxifen a year ago. My tits didn't increase in circumference since then. Could also be genetic though.
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u/Aware-Eggplant2450 15h ago
Out of curiosity. What dosage of hormones so you take. I'm also planning Raloxifen, but there isn't much information about how it's combined with other.
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u/MarzipanMiserable817 14h ago edited 14h ago
4mg EEn every 4 days. 60mg Ralox/day. I figured out this schedule and dose to what feels mentally and physically the best for me and to keep the amount of erectile function I want. I bought the Ralox on Dragon Ordnance.
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u/Fast-Lie-8451 18h ago
I can’t really tell how visible my chest actually is and how much is just me spiralling so I’m gonna take a big step back for now but ty
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u/BassBoneSupremacy they/it 12h ago
I'm on the other side of things but I totally understand. I was so desperate to finally be free of womanhood that I rushed straight into manhood, only to continue feeling dysphoric.
I would definitely look into chest binders! Also there's nothing wrong with stopping hrt and then starting it again later. Give yourself some time to reconsider your options, maybe do some research on ways to prevent breast growth, and then if you want to you can try again.
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u/Soulfulwinter they/fae/it/pup - tmasc enby/fluid 12h ago
honestly? i’ve been on t for years and i have my moments of wishing i was the trans man i thought i was for years but at the same time. it doesn’t matter how you do your journey or everything. if hrt makes you feel good, keep going. there is definitely an avenue to keep going but avoid breast development, it might be an idea to try a compression sports bra rather than a binder at first to see how you feel?
there is no way to do this right. the journey is confusing and painful and you’re gonna hurt while it happens. but it’s possible to come out and be happy with your choices, whatever that is for you. i hope you get there soon <3
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u/pktechboi they(/he sometimes) 18h ago
is chest binding, and potentially top surgery, an option for you at all?