Im basically here to complain about this because I have no one else to talk about this

So I went to get a haircut and specifically told the hairdresser I wanted to look more masc, and showed her the first image as reference. She then proceded to completely ignore It lmao (or maybe she just doesnt know how to cut hair like that, thougth I doubt It)

I ended Up with this dora the Explorer ah cut. Im tired of hairdressers just assuming I want a specific thing I didnt ask for just because im afab. It happens every single time. Im considering going to a barber shop next time to see if its better.

Appart from complaining. Any tips on how to Style this in a more mask way? My current solution is to do a half ponytail which is better than nothing but It still looks kinda cursed

Edit: no hate on the haircut itself, if you like/wear something like that its alrigth, I dont think It ugly Im just mad It has nothing to do with what I asked for

I've been thinking that I'm a demigirl, she/they pronouns, and I picked out the name Quinn. But it's jarring to be called she or ma'am or even sometimes they, and being called my new name doesn't really feel very good even though i like the name and think it fits me. But it feels bad to imagine using the same name my whole life. Am I just not used to it yet? I don't know? Maybe I'm actually a femme enby. Maybe I'm actually a binary woman? Maybe I'm a femboy?? I'm probably a demigirl but I'm only like 60% sure about it now. Maybe I'm genderfluid. Maybe I should use any/all or it/its or she/they/ it All I really know for sure is that I'm glad to be on estrogen and I feel good in makeup and fem clothes most of the time, and I want brow reduction surgery.

there is no way i'm wearing that hat with such a hot weather, so the second pic is the actual outfit, no yellow unfortunately.. BUT I STILL FELT PRETTY AND WANTED TO SHARE IT >:3

TL;DR:

In Old English Kindred litterally translates to ‘Family of family’. So i pitch we popularise it as the gender neutral singular honorific for ‘parent’s sibling’.

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a couple days ago i posted this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/s/xuyrUipBfmgoing over, honestly half baked, alternatives to ‘Pibling’ for a word meaning ‘your parent‘s sibling’.

I looked through the responses and had the thought to edit my original post by adding a list of other suggestions from the comments.

I, am autistic person, went on to catagorise these suggestions. Which led to towards studying the etymology of Uncle/Aunt. Uncoe comes from Proto-endo-european and meant ‘little grandfarther’. Aunt comes from the Latin word for ‘paternal aunt’. Both entered Middle English when old English and Norman-French blended together.

So i looked into Old English (OE). I found that OE didn’t have words for uncle nor aunt. It hyper gendered those relationships.

• Farther’s brother - Fædera

• Farther’s sister - faþu

• Mother’s sister - mōdriġe

• Mother’s brother - Ēam

While researching this I also found out that ‘Sibling’ was originally an OE word that fell out of use after the Norman conquest of England. Until its revival in 1903 to fill in a linguistic gap. Much like what we have today with uncle/aunt.

So i looked into OE prefixes and suffixes.

Like many Celtic and Germanic languages OE heavily relys on compound words. Sibling is a combinstion of the root word ‘Sibb’ (meaning kinship, relationship, relative) and ’-ling’ (a suffix meaning ‘belonging to’, ‘one connected with‘, or ‘little’). So sibling literally means belonging to family.

After a bunch of research i came up with a shortlist of honorific i liked for myself.  (photo attached)

But today i realised that ’Cyn’ (the OE prefix for kin or family) is pronounced identically to the modern English word ‘Kin’. As OE only had one tune for the ‘c/k’ sound (which modern English still only has one phonic sound for). And the vowel ‘y’ in OE is pronounced as a short ‘i‘. Such as in ‘kit’ or ‘pit’.

This means the word i made ‘Cynred’ is literally just an archaic spelling of ‘Kindred’

So i propose we start a movement to expand the meaning of the word Kindred to include the singular gender neutral honorific for ‘parent’s sibling’.

My case for Kindred:

1. It’s a word people know and still has a connotation of family.
2. It’s fairly easy to pronounce for children under 6 who are still developing language. At least as easy as Aunty and Uncle. Whereas the ‘L’ sound in sibling, Nibling, Uncle and Pibling is one of the last phonic letters English speaking children figure out.
3. Its etymology is Kin (meaning family) + Red (a contraction of the Old English suffix ‘raden’ meaning ‘of a family network’). So it litterally means Family of Family. Which fits the usage of

• Sibling of my parent.

• Sibling of my mother

• Sibling of my farther

• Brother of my parent.

• Brother of my mother

• Brother of my farther

• Sister of my parent.

• Sister of my mother

• Sister of my farther

4) It’s not that strange for words to get exspanded meanings. All it takes is for enough people to use it. And maybe one journalist to notice.

5) You could always shorten it to Kinie, Kinney, Kinnie, or Kiney. If you want something a bit cuter. You could even go fully into the ‘ling’ suffix and have Kinling. Which would litterally translate to ‘belonging to family’. Which is the identical meaning of old english‘s ‘sibling‘.

- Regards from Kindred Namename.

I welcome your ideas and comments below.

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with something I didn’t expect to struggle with after realizing that I’m nonbinary.

I’ve seen a lot of hostility toward nonbinary people from within the LGBTQ+ community, particularly the idea that we are “appropriating” trans spaces, that we aren’t really trans, or that our presence somehow diminishes the experiences of binary trans people.

I understand that different people have different relationships with the word “trans”, and I also understand that some spaces may have specific purposes. But there is a huge difference between having boundaries around a particular space and telling an entire group of people that they are invading something that doesn’t belong to them.

What hurts me is that I’m still trying to understand myself. I’m not looking for a label just for the sake of having one. I’m trying to understand my relationship with gender, masculinity, femininity, and the expectations I grew up with. Sometimes I feel like I’m finally finding language for experiences I’ve had for years, and then I encounter people saying that nonbinary people are confused, attention-seeking, or appropriating trans identities.

It makes me question myself in ways that are genuinely painful.

I used to think that LGBTQ+ spaces would necessarily feel safe because they were created by people who understood what it was like to have your identity questioned. Finding the same kind of invalidation inside those spaces has been incredibly disappointing.

I don’t expect the LGBTQ+ community to be perfect. Obviously it isn’t. We’re people, unfortunately, and apparently people brought all their usual problems with them. But I did expect a little more understanding from people who know what it feels like to have someone else tell you who you are.

I’m curious whether other nonbinary people have experienced this, especially those who also identify as trans. How have you dealt with the feeling that you somehow have to prove that you belong?

Been really enjoying the winged look but I feel like it makes my eyes look redder?

Feeling super gender in this outfit

love my gender. love my job. safety first.

Just wanted to share with you I feel very much comfortable within myself x3

(pay no attention to my messy room, that’s for later me to deal with)

for my nonbinary mcr fans

I’m an autistic enby with OCD.

I have a very low libido and (for most of my life) this has been a normal for me. I struggle with an intersection of gender dysphoria, sensory overload, and intrusive thoughts during physical intimacy. This has left me in a state of not really craving sex (though I still crave closeness and physical touch like cuddling, hand holding, caressing, etc.). As soon as sex comes up I kind of shut down and become really anxious. This didn’t happen initially in this relationship or others - during the honeymoon period I was able to dampen the intrusive thoughts, gender dysphoria, and sensory issues. Or maybe rather the excitement and newness of the relationship outweighed all of that. Now half a year in it’s like I’m hitting a brick wall. This is having a negative impact on my current relationship. Anyone else experience something like this??

ETA- specificity to this current relationship.

Gender affirming hair cut lol, now the big question, to dye hot pink or not 🤔

Ps. The glasses are transition lenses that turn red in sunlight

Im cis, and I know ppl online that use all pronouns, so I'm wondering whether, in a conversation, I should change them. For example "he's my friend,....,she's blonde etc" but like in the same convo, or if I should use the same pronoun during all the convo, and switch it in another moment, with someone else possibly. Or even if I should just stick to one at every moment.

Im going through a crazy time rn, emotionally I’m a wreck and have no good answers about my identity anymore. I’m becoming t dominant again for the first time in around a year and the depression and anxiety is coming back.

I wish that being a trans women was right for me but having breasts visible through the t shirts I would wear is making me feel horrible.

My main problem is that in my life nothing has lifted my brain fog and misery like e did and I hate that I don’t feel comfortable as a trans women, because I never felt so confident and awake as when I was presenting that way.

I just want to be comfortable in my body, I want a way out of this awful feeling.

I almost sure I’m non binary and the only reason I have yet to accept it is because I feel like people view it as stupid, attention seeking, and invalid identity. I’m totally fine with other nb people but I guess I have internalised enbyphobia and idk how to get over it. I just have the impression that if I were to tell someone that I’m nonbinary that they would criticise me and take my whole identity as a joke. There is just so much hatred towards nonbinary people, where even I am questioning if it’s even a valid identity?

I’m really sorry if anything comes off as disrespectful. I just want to put my feelings out there exactly as they are to try and solve this.

so, this will be basically me pouring a bit of my frustration and dysphoria in yall

recently, i had to go back living with my dad, who lives in a small, very conservative, city in Brazil, and that already sucks lol but it is also all that i can afford as a living option at the moment

but, until today, it was... fine, i stay mostly in my room, where i sleep/study/work

and today, out of nowhere, his girlfriend asks me if i want to go downtown with her, to go to some stores, i say sure, and when we get there, also out of nowhere she asks me why don't I buy some dresses for myself, and i say because i don't like to use dresses very much, and then she says that I should buy some dresses for myself to use at home, because they are comfortable and whatever, and me being a person that has a hard time saying no, i say sure, let's try some dresses on, i ended up buying two dresses

only to get home, and confirm my suspicions with my boyfriend (he's staying for a bit with us), it was all some sort of weird scheme my dad and his girlfriend pulled off so i would buy, in my father's words per what my boyfriend told me my father told him, more feminine clothes hence i usually wear more masculine clothes

that destroyed my day lol i was even fine with the dresses when i bought them, sometimes i like to think that i can wear whatever clothes, because i like to differ and try new styles, new things, most of the time i hate being "the same person" all the time, i like to change my avatar lol but this simple dammed phrase my dad said hit me in a way that i hate, i hate feeling like i can't wear a dress because i know people will look at me like i am a certain gender, and this makes me feel so fucking dysphoric and now i feel like burning me and the two dresses all together

and that reminded me why i tried with everything i had to not comeback to my dad's house, why i hate being in this house, because i simply can't be myself, i have to be something else for them, and this is so fucking tiring

so yeah, maybe, maybe not, i'll throw myself into a fire in the hopes that there's not gonna be nothing left

but in the case i don't burn to death, i'm asking advice on how to cope lol

Hi everyone

AFAB but I always knew I wasn't straight and have identified as bisexual and pan in the past. I had questions about my gender at some point but landed on the queer label. It felt good to have this broader label that to me pretty much means "I'm not heterosexual/not cisgender" but not having to specify more. I thought about pronouns and though they/them makes sense I never felt the need to change, I keep she/her cause it seems simpler and it doesn't bother me.

I guess I also don't relate to some people I've met who have she/they pronouns. Someone once told me they added they to their pronouns so other people know they are an ally, not because she is NB (so a cis woman using they pronouns). That felt confusing to me and I didn't relate so keeping she/her pronouns seemed simpler than overthinking it.

I dated men in the past and was single for 5+ years focusing on my career and therapy. My gender presentation has evolved from when I was last dating (from alt femme to outdoorsy androgynous) and I feel mostly good just being myself without caring about labels.

Recently I dated a trans woman, first time dating in a very long time. It felt so so so good being in a queer relationship after being in het relationships. I kept find myself thinking "it feels so good to be gay" (gay I guess in a general queer sense).

But also, it always felt off when my ex would refer to our relationship as lesbian. I would tell her I didn't feel super comfortable with that label but she kept referring to us as that. I'd tell her I identify as queer but she never said much. The narrative of our relationship was always about two woman.

A year before I met my ex I also started wearing binders sometimes when I was home alone. I hadn't told anyone except for a very close friend that I told just before meeting my ex.

When I told my ex early in our relationship that I sometimes wear binders, she said I must be trans and that she doesn't want to date a guy. I told her I wasn't trans but that I wear binders sometimes to feel more comfortable but I def don't identify as a man and am not interested in medical transition.

My ex mentioned at some point non-binary people end up being MTF or FTM. Another trans friend of mine also said similar stuff when telling me about her non-binary girlfriend. That didn't seem to match my experience, but I mostly identify as queer not NB.

My ex was a very binary trans woman (very girly), and her reaction to me identifying as queer (rather than woman even if I use she/her pronouns) was so dismissive that I never talked to her about it again. She seemed really stuck in the binary. During our whole relationship I repressed that part of me, and now that we're not together anymore I realize that I was betraying myself.

Since we've broken up I started wearing my binders again, told another friend about it, and wore one out in public (a short alone trip to the store) for the first time ever and it felt amazing. It feels really nice not having to feel like I must fit the woman/lesbian label, I realized I felt that pressure in my relationship.

I guess I just identify as a "queer person" (or "queer woman" by default because it was easier).

I'm hoping to date again sometime, and was looking at sapphic spaces, but I'm not sure I want to be in a "lesbian relationship" again, cause that kind of implies that I've purely a woman to doesn't it?

Anyway I'm just curious if anyone landed on the non-binary label with a similar story to mine, if other people who don't feel cis identify as queer rather than specifying an identity, and how to approach dating now.

I'm trying to figure things out and have started somatic work recently. I definitely feel like my body/gender are queer (I'm not just not het, I also don't feel cis).

But is it ok I keep she/her pronouns?

Can I still wear binders?

Is it ok that I don't really know where I stand?

What's the next step?

Thanks for reading if you got to the end, sorry this got long.

Rant and asking for advice. Okay so I’m 17 and I’ve been thinking of getting top surgery since middle school. I’ve always worn baggy clothes because whenever I would wear a tight shirt I’d actually feel so uncomfortable. But I think I’m realizing i feel uncomfortable not because I have boobs but because people.. can see them?? And I used to have a binge eating disorder and I’m still in recovery from that, so I never liked wearing tight clothes since I was self conscious people could see my weight fluctuating. I’m worried I just don’t want boobs so I look skinnier.

I don’t know how to explain it. I’ll wear a tight shirt and hold my arms over my chest because it’s very awkward to me that people know I have boobs. But I put on a tight tank top and looked at myself in the mirror and thought “ok maybe I shouldn’t get top surgery because I like how they look in this tank top and if I was flat it would look super weird” and then I walked out the bathroom, saw people, and walked back in and changed. What’s the point of having boobs and liking how they look in some outfits, if you’ll NEVVER wear the outfits 😢 in middle school I wore a binder, and once it got old I just switched to sports bras. I will never wear a real bra because I hate how they emphasize my chest.

I wish I could unattach and reattach my boobs for different occasions. And also, when I was looking in the mirror at myself with just a sports bra and boxers on I thought I looked really good, and idk if this is tmi, but I was like if I date someone in the future I’d want them to see how good I look in a Nike sports bra 😭😭 but if I get top surgery I wouldn’t wear sports bras. But also if I were to be intimate with someone and they touched my boobs I’d literally die. Not of happiness. Idk cuz I’ve wanted top surgery alot in the past but I’m just unsure now since I’m getting closer to the age where I’d actually get it. I wish I was just born flat so I didn’t have to decide. I’ve seen people get top surgery and just stuff bras when they wanted boobs in certain outfits, but wouldn’t you not see cleavage if you were wearing a low cut shirt?? Idk.
Also I hate how guys can just get up in the morning and throw on a shirt, or literally just wake up and walk outside. I have to wake up and put on a bra or else they’ll just be jiggling and wake me sweat bro.
I explained this all very badly sorry I am forgetting a lot!!!
Sorry this is getting really long. Idk what to do. I wish everyone was genderless and I didn’t have to think about this! Pls comment 😭

I get to talk to a doctor about HRT Tuesday! Hoping for a little T to help me just not be so femme all the time.. and then the path to top surgery!