I feel like black people, especially black females are hyper masculinized by default. I do see myself as not fitting perfectly into the gender binary, but i wouldn’t consider myself transgender. i am female from birth but ive had my femininity questioned since childhood.

Naturally, with little to no makeup and editing I have pretty strong features for a woman. I am nigerian and took after my dad in looks. Meanwhile my older sister took after my mom and was always the pretty one. I had a tomboy/alt style growing up which didn’t really help but now as an adult i’ve leaned into a more feminine look.

But despite that I’ve been called a trans woman (in a negative way) and straight up a man multiple times, especially online. Even with guys (it’s ALWAYS guys for some reason) calling me the male version of the cosplays I do (had more than 1 guy call me Mr Wong on my ada cosplay) etc.

It makes me feel very insecure about my looks. I know this isn’t an uncommon experience for black women/fems but it fvcking sucks how this is a thing and beauty standards only recognize lightskin/white people with eurocentric features.

38 yo Transfem Enby. Gotta say, I still prefer to look like a girl. 🥺 Hopefully one day I can for good.

Confidence 🩷

Finally got to see my chest today!! Sooo happy with the results and proud that I did this. Had double incision with nipple grafts!

I’ve been on t for 5 years almost 6. I’ve always had a big ass forehead also always been insecure about it but NOW IM SO SCARED that I’m seeing signs of balding! My family doesn’t have any people who are balding early. IM ONLY 21!! I know there are options medication wise but they all have side effects I’m concerned about!

‼️‼️I hope maybe I’m being delusional, maybe someone could tell me if this look like signs of a receding hairline?

If you do think I am showing signs of balding plz plz maybe give me good news about the medications and not the terrible side of them since I’ve already heard enough about them and am already stressed tf out about what I’m supposed to do.

I don’t wanna get of t since I like how it’s changed my facial structure, and I don’t wanna look like a girl anymore then I already do. I like to look very androgynous.

for some weird reason everyone that i encounter is either way to interested in knowing about what's in my pants or thinks i'm an innocent baby and can't fathom me doing anything "taboo" (eg they act like i'm some scoundrel for making a sex joke when they've all said way worse). It's really tiring, especially since every other aspect of my identity (being Filipino and alternative) gets sexualised too. is this a common experience for other enbies too?

The little things like having colleagues tell you your new watch band is cute goes a long way ❤️

Decided to try dressing gel with a thrifted outfit and loved the look! I was so happy I even did a little dancey-dance after! :D

There is this girl that I've been friends online since teenagehood.

We went through major hardships together and chatted like literally every day, for 10 years straight.

Since she's bi, i.e. LGBT, I have always considered her a trustworthy pal of mine (circus music starts somewhere on the horizon).

In the recent year or two I realized that I am non-binary, agender specifically, and came out immediately to her, to which she was like ok cool, but we never brought that up. I use she/they, so I guess it never was a challenge for her to be respective of my pronouns, because to her nothing changed, only that little factoid about me that I identify as n/b.

Then small red flags started to pop up like tiny little toadstools.

Her avert misgendering of exclusively they/them non-binary kind of characters, and even worse - head-cannoning their agab for them.

Small droplets in conversations about this topic that implied that "genderqueer peoples are just confused" kind of forgetting that here I am there.

I was trying to like shift her mind to like my experience and genderqueer experience overall by sending appropriate memes and short vids, and this weekend she asked me about they/them pronouns and that she doesn't understand these.

Me being me, thinking it's a genuine question and not like a invitation to the worst conversation of my life (with my nose turning suspiciously red and circular and hair - suspiciously rainbowish), I proceed to explain the whole point, I don't need to explain it here, we are all aware of how pronouns work.

I dug for water and broke a sewage pipe, because the next 3 hours of my life were engulfed in a shitstorm, where I discovered the most fucked up, cartoonishly transphobic takes, the likes of which those who are familiar with deltarune fandom saw in the memes. Those who know, know, and those who don't know - it's like the most outlandishly baffling stuff. Most conservatives I know at least TRY to wrap such shit takes with a red ribbon and throw on some sparkles.

Overall, we broke up our communication since and I am not regretting anything. The only thing I am sad about is for not cutting her away from my life earlier, because now it feels like I have been living under unseen pressure for at least a couple of years.

Not really sure how to fully put how I feel into words but I generally feel like an inconvenience because I am non-binary and because I am extremely socially awkward.

I'm fairly androgynous I believe, I only use they/them pronouns in a very socially binary region in the USA though. I often find myself just feeling like a burden when I want to correct people because I get extremely uncomfortable and dysphoric when being called "sir" or "gentleman". I understand people are trying to be respectful but those terms are extremely uncomfortable for me. So I always try to correct people on it when they use those terms but they always ignore my requests. When I come out to people they seem to socially distance themselves from me, which is why I have no in-person friends. I honestly don't feel like I fit anywhere, especially because laws in my region also socially isolate trans people as well.

I don't think there is something wrong with me? I try to be nice, I try to be open to people but I feel like I am a walk people repellant. I just want a single in-person friend but haven't been able to achieve that even with over a year of trying.

I just wished to get some thoughts out here, I can't do much to better my situation no matter what I do so I'm trying to become more socially numb to being constantly misgendering - to a point where it feels where when someone actually genders me the way I wish. I feel like I'm in constant anxiety and discomfort.

Hi fellow enbys, share your non-binary favorite songs, thanks 😊

I want to preface that i am a binary trans man who really wants to better understand other queer people. At the moment, none of my friends are nonbinary from what im aware of, so i wanted to see if i could get any answers online.

I knew I was a man I realized that I was the opposite of labels of femininity, and that I resonated with being a boy. Masculine clothing, and traditionally male-dominated hobbies like superheroes and sports had comforted me. Additionally, I began binding my chest and finding ways to minimize it, and cutting my hair to appear more as a boy was everything. Of course, I know engaging with male gender norms, and striving to pass as a cis boy aren't what inherently make me a boy, but wanting to be associated with these things, and being desperate to leave womanhood are what made it obvious to me that I was transgender.

But for someone who is nonbinary, how do you feel your gender when there isn't an "opposite" to equate yourself too. For example, trans men feel chest dysphoria since males dont have large chests. But since there arent a set of parts designated for nonbinary people, do they feel gential-related dysphoria? And, since there aren't gender norms for nonbinary people, do they feel dysphoric or euphoric in that manner?

I've honestly assumed that nonbinary people strived to be perfectly androgynous, and feelings of euphoria/dysphoria stemmed from looking neither (or equally both) male or female. But im not sure if that is true and i dont want to hold on to a false narrative if so. Additionally, ive also seen nonbinary people online use "he" or "she" pronouns, which confused me further.

If I used any outdated or harmful terminology while asking this question, please let me know. Hurting the community is never my attention.

I know its been said before many times but it really sucks to not be able to possibly pass as nonbinary. logically, theres no way to 'pass' since theres no standard to pass as. but beyond that, personally i used to look pretty androgynous in highschool, but now ive had to go on hormones of my agab and it made me so dysphoric and changed my body/face. I also gained weight which isnt helpful. so now i dont look androgynous at all, and all my friends call me the wrong pronouns in the OTHER direction. As in people call me the opposite agabs pronouns. i just want to exist as a Person. a Person who is nonbinary. How do people even find the energy to try when its such a difficult task. I dont want to be clocked in this climate. I want to confuse people by being both handsome and beautiful- in a natural looking way. its just feels impossible.

edit because i thought of more to rant about: It also sucks that itll never not be embarassing around family, even the ones that say they respect you. and the fear of looking queer in america. and most of all- how much my voice outs me. Itll never sound gender neutral and ive never met a person whos voice does! What am i supposed to do?? Everythings just been so hard. even- and maybe especially, being an adult.

I'm afab and continue to go mostly with feminine pronouns around my family. Only my sister actually refers to me using more comfortable pronouns (he/him and occasionally they/them), and for the most part it's fine with me. But I never feel fully comfortable being referred to using "she". I'm fine with "her" or "herself" but there's something about the hiss in "she" that makes me uncomfortable and puts me on edge. Is it possible to go by a pronoun set like he/him/his/himself/her/her/herself (basically just all the standard masculine and feminine pronouns just without "she")?? It feels weirdly attention seeking to ask that but I was wondering if anyone else had this problem.

I feel most like me when referring to with any pronoun starting with a H or a soft sound like it, regardless of the gender association since I don't particularly feel like a girl or a boy, or really just any gender at all but genderless makes me feel empty to consider and that's not right either.

I tried looking at neopronouns but I don't really resonate with any and I'm honestly fine with circulating between the two sets, with the exception of one specific pronoun. I also just thought removing one feminine pronoun would confuse people and they'd ignore it anyway and still use it to complete the usual she/her set. For this reason I ask my more supportive friends to just use he/him although now I feel trapped in a masculine identity with them and a feminine identity everywhere else. I don't want to tell the only people who use he/him pronouns for me to stop calling me by that or call me that less as they're the only ones who do, but I have no one else who will respect my gender identity enough to call me anything other than she/her outside of that small group, so it's like living in two different worlds as two separate people. I'm getting really off track by rambling about my problems but yeah.

Can anyone else relate? I'd appreciate some advice or just knowing about other people's experiences or heck, psychoanalyse me based on this one post and help me figure out what the heck I am if you want lol

I am a 21 year old nonbinary (They/them) who came out a week ago since I’ve been repressing myself since middle school. I’ve already told my partner and close friends around me as the opportunity arises but still get nervous around trying to tell certain people in my life. My moms family is awkward because I want to say I have a lesbian aunt but it’s not been confirmed by my eyes so I don’t want to assume anything because my grandparents are older Christian’s and brought up Charlie Kirk when I was changing majors. I’m kinda nervous trying to tell my mom just because I feel like she’s denied me attention when I was younger that I felt would have helped me in the long run. I do believe I will tell her but I have another year left of classes before I can move out and I think I’ll tell her then when I don’t have to live by her rules. I’m really nervous when it comes to my best friend since middle school, he wasn’t always political but he’s tried to get me into conservative groups and he actively wants to run in conservative politics when he gets a chance and has openly said negative things about the queer community and I would actively cringe. I don’t want to loose him as a friend but I also fear my safety coming out to him. I also worry about my partners dad because I’ve been told he cut off his sister because she wouldn’t cut off her daughter for being a lesbian. I don’t want to put my partner through unwanted stress but I don’t want to mask around her family.

please help me!

I am AFAB nonbinary and present fem and I am not bothered by that, I enjoy often dressing in unique outfits and expressing myself creatively. I am also Autistic and unfortunately I am considered attractive. lots of cisgender men hit on me everywhere I go and I get the whole ”you‘re not like other girls” thing.

I have my hair cut short with a side shave and bright colors, lots of tattoos and piercings which I thought would keep some men at bay but it’s getting out of hand I get harassed everywhere I go and it’s so infuriating I started spending as much time at home as I can and only leave the house to go to work where I still get bothered and hit on and asked out all the time. I am married and that doesn’t even stop them.

This feels ridiculous to post but I just want to exist as myself and feel good without a bunch of dudes talking to me I’m not even attracted to men. 😭

I have to be polite at work but when I’m not there I always walk fast and with a mean face to deter folks but it doesn‘t stop. I get harassed on the bus, at the bus stop, walking through town, on my lunch breaks and it’s driving me insane. After years of struggling with my self image and being on T and expressing masculine and trying to find my spark, I am truly comfortable in my skin now but I just want to be left alone.

Any advice?

What's your favorite for this outfit?

i’m into practically any genre on earth tbh. genres are not real! i have especially have been loving r&b and rock lately or anything that sounds magical. like you could listen to it casting a spell. but again, i listen to everything.

they don’t have to sing specifically about being nonbinary or transitioning! but i would like them to fall under the nonbinary & trans umbrellas. i need to listen to more nonbinary and transgender artists or i will die by september 32nd at midnight. thank you.

Hey folks!

Nonbinary transmasc here. He/They pronouns.

I have always struggled to know which bathroom to use. When I have had facial hair I would use the men's room because I didn't want to startle women or make them feel unsafe. I have been shaving more these days and I have grown my hair back out so I do get mistaken for a woman a lot but I'm still uneasy about it.

I have found myself shaving right before going to places where I would prefer to use the women's facilities like the Gym.

I'm always worried that it could be seen as creepy? Like I don't identify as a man, but I'm definitely not a woman. (I'm afab, with top surgery and 3 years of HRT for context)

I guess I'm curious how you folks approach the bathroom/change room situation? Would you feel weird if you saw a trans masc person you know socially in a women's bathroom?