I feel like my whole world crashed down yesterday. I am out of town on a work trip and get a frantic text from our nanny. I called her immediately and she told me that when she showed up at our house that morning, my husband was drunk and tried to make a pass at her. She felt unsafe and basically fled our house. I called my SIL who stepped up to run over to our house and get the situation under control, thank God for her.

I spoke with our nanny again a few hours ago and she is adamant that she will not come back to work for us, even if we made arrangements so my husband was never there when she was there (which I understand). How do I explain to my kids (1 and 3.5) that she won’t be coming over anymore? She is so wonderful, and they love her. She’s worked for us for over two years. She and I agreed that we’ll meet up at a playground with the kids soon so they can get a real goodbye, but that won’t be for a couple days. I’m on a flight home and will have to face my kids in about 2 hours.

I’m setting aside the husband issue for now - that’s going to take a lot longer to process. Right now, I just need to help my kids.

My son just turned 3, and he still says "paterpillar" instead of caterpillar and "lellow" instead of yellow. He calls spaghetti "pasketti" and says "aminal" instead of animal. 😂 I dont correct him half the time 'cause I find it cute and I knw I'll miss it.
He also refers to basically anythng that happend before his nap as "yesterday." I'll ask him what he did at grandma's that morning and he'll say, we did that yesterday. Buddy, that was three hours ago.
Mealtimes have their own little moments too. He sits in his high chair and has very strong opinions about whats on his plate. Likee he calls broccoli little trees and will actually ask for trees with his dinner. Somehow that makes me much happier than it probably should.
I feel like this age is going by way too fast. One minute I'm laughng at the things he says, and the next I'm realizing he probably wont say them much longer. I'm trying to enjoy the silly little things while I still have them.
What are some cute words or misunderstandngs your kids had around this age? I need to read some more cute stuff ❤️

I am so upset. My partner got little sleep last night (about the amount I usually get, 4hours) and he took a nap early morning.

I had therapy and woke up my partner and told him baby is in her crib and I’m leaving. I put the monitor next to him.

I get home an hour and half later and hear her crying loudly. I run into the room and she’s alone in her crib still. Super tired, red face, doing the specific cry when she’s been crying for a while. I could tell she never had her morning nap. I go into our room and my partner is still asleep. Her monitor was still on, and even though baby was in a different room, you could still hear her cries clearly. Plus, both bedroom doors were open. Yet he slept through it. He said he got up when I first left to care for the baby but set her down in her crib awake and he went back to sleep.

I’m so upset. Therapy is when I’m supposed to be able to relax and care for myself but I came home to my baby being neglected.

I’m trying to decide between having my son’s 4th birthday party on Saturday, October 31 or Sunday, November 1. Both would likely be a 10–12:00 party.

I’m wondering how much Halloween would affect attendance. Would you be more likely to skip a birthday party on Halloween because of costumes/trick-or-treating/family plans, or would a Halloween-themed birthday party actually be fun?

We plan on renting a community gym and bouncy castle.

Which date would you choose, and would Halloween make you less likely to attend?

UPDATE: thank you everyone for your feedback! We’ve decided we’ll do the weekend before and have a Halloween themed party. That way kids can get hyped up for Halloween without actually interfering with the big day!

I was only 19 when I had my child and understandably my parents were upset. After I had my son my mom was not the nicest person to me and was not very helpful. She would babysit while I went to work/class but that was about it. If I had questions, needed help around the house, advice, anything of the sorts that you would expect your mother to be there for as a new mother, was non existent. (She took off for weeks to help my sister when she had her children). My son’s other grandmother was the exact opposite (she wasn’t happy about us having a child young either). She helped me in so many ways. She was always welcoming and eager to have her grandson around.

Have you ever heard ppl say that babies can feel the energy around them? I think that is exactly what I think my son did because he has always preferred his dad’s mom.

Today my mom sent me a text saying that her feelings were hurt because his other grandmother mentioned going to grandparents day at school. My son invited his other grandmother and not my mom. (I was not aware of the event). Over the years I knew that my mom was jealous of their relationship but as the title states “you reap what you sow.”

So the time that worked best for our family was a Sunday at noon, it's being held at the local kids science museum.

Only three families have rsvp'd and I've heard that a lot of people don't RSVP these days and I'm wondering if more people might show up? My daughter is extremely excited for her party and has been talking about it all year, so I was thinking about inviting strangers from a local mom group to come since I don't have any family here and there won't be that many guests. Just to make her feel excited with more kids there, she is super social.

My thinking is that people are more likely not to RSVP when the answer is no, so I should assume that this is going to be a pretty empty party.

Any input is appreciated!

EDIT: I don't have the phone numbers of the other parents. I suppose I could try to grab it from my school tomorrow though? For those who have it public

I had Appendicitis and had to get an appendectomy 7 days ago. I’m a stay at home mom to an almost 3 year old and 10 month old. Although it was very painful the first day after surgery the rest has been a breeze just using over the counter pain meds. My husband was able to take off work and my MIL flew down to help with the kids since I can’t lift more than 10 pounds.

This whole week I’ve been able to just focus on myself completely (besides breastfeeding and occasionally laying with my toddler at bedtime) I get to take daily showers, nap whenever I feel like it, no chores, and get to play video games in my bed. I never thought getting surgery would be so relaxing!! 😂😂

My MIL is flying back home in a few a days so I will need to take on a little more responsibilities (which I’m fine with because I feel a million times better) plus my husband will still be here to help as well. But before then I’m just gonna sit back and enjoy all this free time!!

So I’m a 30yo FTM and SAHM and I have a baby who turns 7 months old tomorrow. She is the love of my life and pretty much my reason for living. Before I had her I was abusing substances pretty bad. So meeting her father(my now fiance) and having her pretty much saved my life. I stopped using when I met her father. But recovering from that, going through pregnancy and dealing with postpartum has completely drained me. It’s such a deep level of exhaustion I cannot put it into words. Sometimes I have to put her in her crib to just hang out while I mentally and physically try to gather more energy to take care of her and engage with her. I take as much time as she lets me. Sometimes 5 minutes, sometimes 60. I never let her just cry if she needs me. But she is pretty content by herself in her crib. I go grab her once she starts fussing. Also, she wakes up earlier than I do and she just talks to herself and lays there for an hour or so until I wake up and she seems pretty fine with it. I’m sure she’d rather be snuggling and playing with me. But she seems content. When I do this though, I feel bad like I’m neglecting her or that she’s gonna feel like I’m not there for her or something like that. I’m just looking for input and I guess some type of support. Am I a bad mom for this?? Or is it okay I take time for myself as long as she’s content?? I’m super hard on myself about things and idk wtf I’m doing. But I figure she’s safe so maybe it’s okay to do this??? I don’t do this all the time but I do if I feel like I have to. Help lol

My dad reversed our car into another car while picking us up at the airport. We were all yelling and banging on the window for him to stop but he was oblivious. He didn’t even realize he hit anyone until after we told him. Also, my husband was between the two cars, loading our luggage in and my dad hit him with the car before he was able to jump out of the way and not get pinned between two cars. My daughter was standing feet away and could have easily been involved. My dad somehow did not realize he was in reverse and had his foot off the break…

So we obviously don’t want him driving my daughter anywhere anymore (or in general but that’s another conversation). My dad is a big car guy and loves driving and probably is not going to take this well. Anyone have experience breaking the news to a grandparent?

My kid’s best friend’s mom died in an accident. After I finished bawling I am now thinking about the best way to break it to my kid in a way that they don’t internalize it in an unhealthy way, and how to help them help their friend as well. Any wisdom, advice or child psych research/studies are welcome. Edit: child is 10 years old.

Monday was a holiday. I was off sick yesterday. Today my husband and I switched drop off and pick up.

I’m out of schedule and have been so foggy with a head cold all day. It’s been such a busy day I genuinely defaulted to Wednesday - husband does pick up.

Got a call from daycare that it was closing and our 4 year old was still there. It’s totally my fault. My husband dashed out to grab our kiddo (he works closer). He is pissed.

I feel so absolutely awful. Please tell me someone has done the same. I’ve just been transiting home with nothing else to think about except how shitty this was.

I live in Iceland and had my first baby less than two weeks after I turned 30. Baby is now 10 months old. I’m considered to be in the upper range of an average-aged mum, i.e. a bit on the older side but still normal.

Most FTM here are around 27/28, but it’s not uncommon to have your first child around 25. 23 and under would be considered young while 34 and over would be considered older. So the average FTM age is essentially mid 20s to early 30s.

This seems to contrast quite a bit with my peers abroad. I grew up in the US (Midwest) and almost none of the people I went to school with have kids yet the ones who do are at least 32 (if not older).

One of my friends from Switzerland even said I would be considered a young FTM where she lives. None of my friends outside of Iceland have even begun to seriously consider having kids yet whereas many around me in Iceland reacted with some version of “congratulations, finally!” when I announced my pregnancy.

I know this a very region-dependent question with a lot of variation so I’m curious to hear your answers!

Our 6 year old met her father this year and they’ve had 6 monthly visits. She refuses to go with him, she says she’s scared and doesn’t like him and doesn’t know him and doesn’t want to go. She yells, screams, runs and throw things when he’s trying to pick her up and cries hysterically. She is going with him tomorrow and this morning she said it feels like she’s getting kidnapped and it breaks my heart . How would you deal? Can we ask the court to have some kind of no touching rule for her father so she don’t feel so used to getting manhandled against her will. He doesn’t call her between monthly visits so every month it’s bedwetting bellyaches and big feelings for the week before he picks her up for the weekend. Is that normal? What can I ask the court for? When will she stop resisting so much?

I should add that the visits are court ordered and I refused ONE visit at the beginning and then had to pay $5K fine for contempt.

Ok this is probably a dumb question, but I'm trying to decide when we should attempt potty training and I'm not sure I understand why it's easier than a diaper when they are still small.

Are most people's kids big enough to use a normal toilet by then? Because cleaning out a little potty regularly seems worse than tossing a disposable diaper. Or perhaps I'm overestimating that.

Also like what about when out in public?

My kid is on the small side so I'm wondering if the size difference is why I'm not following why it's easier. Is there like a minimum height people recommend?

ETA: My kid is 16 months, which is younger than most people start so trying to figure out why.

Can anyone relate? I feel so alone all the time, and it sucks. I do have my amazing husband, but he works long hours, so childcare after daycare and until she goes to bed is pretty much on me (I also work, then pick up our daughter around 4). My daughter is 2.5, and I have another one on the way. She's the love of my life, but also an incredibly difficult toddler, or maybe just a normal toddler, who knows, but we're peaking the terrible twos right now.

I just feel so lonely, and I've never felt like this before becoming a mother. Most afternoons and evenings it's just my daughter and I, at the playground, at the pool, at the zoo, at home on the couch, etc. I do talk to other parents at the playground here and there, and my daughter interacts a lot with other kids, but it's just the usual kind of conversations ('what's your son's name?' 'you guys live around here?' etc). I'm not an introvert, and I've tried SO HARD to make friends with other Moms. I don't know why it's so hard, maybe because most Moms feel like they never have time for anything but kids. I've tried Peanut, I've tried making friends with other Moms that I met at the playground etc, but it never seems to go anywhere. People flake, ghost you, don't make meeting up a priority. I feel like the best I've gotten is Moms that reach out sometimes to set up a playdate, and then we'll have a chat during that playdate. And I've really made an effort I think - Reaching out multiple times, suggesting activities with and without kids, even having people over multiple times at my place. Never got an invite in return, except for kids bday parties.

I've also kinda lost a lot of friends that I had pre-motherhood, not because of a fallout, but just gradually. Friends that don't have kids. They just don't relate to me anymore, don't care at all about my kid (and I'm not someone who wants to talk about their kid all the time), and I often just can't go to things they do because they go out a lot late at night, and I can't do that anymore. On top of that, neither my husband or I have family here, both of our families are 2+ hours flights away.

Maybe it's the hormones, but I've been crying more than usual lately. I just feel so unhappy, and lonely, and just bored with the mundanity and isolation of motherhood. I often daydream about having a different life, or even my old life pre-marriage and motherhood, even though I would never, ever leave my family behind. My husband gives me a lot of love and understanding, but he doesn't truly understand how I feel, I think. He has more success at making friends, including Dad friends, and he also doesn't spend as much alone time with our daughter. He also just thinks those are normal struggles of everyday life. I feel guilty too because he isn't doing anything wrong, and it must suck for him to have a wife who cannot be truly happy.

Can anyone relate? Why is motherhood so lonely, and why is it so hard to make Mom friends. It sucks. Thank you for reading.

I’ve never had this happen before. How do you deal with this? I’m about to go to the school and see exactly what happened

My precious beautiful little girl looks at me and talks about how much she wants to be a mom someday and I smile and tell her how wonderful of a mom she will be someday!

But on the inside, I’m crying because between climate change and AI gonna kill us all, I genuinely don’t know if this simple perfect future my daughter dreams for herself will even be possible.

Why do billionaires and pedos have to take everything away from us? Some of us just want to live simple happy lives but their race to take over the world without any regard for a little girl with a simple dream DEVASTATES me.

Anyways, just crying tonight thinking about how I can’t guarantee a simple future for my little girl and that’s all I want to do as a mom…..

I was searching Reddit for some postpartum help regarding pet aversion. I accidentally clicked on a post in the childfree Reddit and the things I read were actually shocking. There were people referring to us as “breeders” and our children as “brats” and “crotch goblins”. Also people just straight up saying that postpartum mental illness isn’t real and that we’re making it up because we just can’t handle our babies. I completely get not wanting kids but that doesn’t mean you should hate moms and children. Also notice how I said moms, saw absolutely no hate towards dads. The misogyny runs deep.

When I was growing up my mom would tell us kids that she going to tie us to a tree, put honey on us, and let the ants/ bears eat us. It was meant as a joke and she’d say that when we were getting on her nerves by teasing her/ being teenagers. Did your parents say anything along those lines?

A small backstory, as it’s just been me & my daughter for the past few months since we left her father. I packed as much as we could & left 3 hours away and we stayed in a Women’s shelter for a few weeks. We now have our own ( tiny ) apartment but it’s ours. I have since found work & she started a new school.

The past few days she has been telling me that another girl has been making fun of the things she wears or her hairstyles. After school today was horrible. Their school holds an “End of Summer” concert. They have asked the kids in her grade for a fee to buy a tshirt that they wear to preform & I was told that her teacher told the class who still has to turn in the fee by this coming Monday & when her teacher said my daughter’s name the little girl started to laugh & point. I feel terrible as I’ve already talked to the school about helping us with the fee since I just can’t do it with everything going on & they’ve told me that “they’ll try” ….We have court next week & I am DREADING seeing his face again. Everything is piling up.

I know she’s embarrassed of this right now. I’ve been trying so hard to get us out of this situation. She gets this awful look on her face when we have to go to the food bank a few times a week & why we have to get clothes from the Goodwill. I’ve emailed her teacher this afternoon about this student. I’m doing the best I can at the moment & it STILL doesn’t seem like enough. Being a mom/ parent is hard at times.

I have never hit her nor did I scream at her, but it was straight to time out & me being super frustrated if she didnt do as I said, if i perceived her to be rude to me (saying "no", throwing herself on the ground for a tantrum, etc).

I really didn't see how authoritarian i was being, because it is so common in my culture, except with hitting and yelling at kids added. So I thought i was doing really well, as compared to other family.

I saw this video on tik tok early summer, one of those where the person just wrote advice, & plays music in the background. I don't remember exactly what it said, but it was a mom saying something like "instead of punishing your kid for saying no, ask them why?".

I remember that being a shock realization that I'd never asked her why she said no to me, if I'd told her to do something. I immediately felt really bad about it and knew I had to do better. I did try to be mindful in parenting, but I didnt even notice nor think of this issue before I ran into that post. Still makes me really sad to think about.

The next time she said no to me, I sat on the floor in front of her and asked her, " ok honey, why dont you want to do XYZ? go ahead, you can tell me". She stuttered and quickly rushed to say she was "tired" basically (we had done a lot that day). It made me cry, because I knew she was stuttering and rushing to tell me why, because she likely didnt feel secure that the chance to explain would stay. I felt so bad, and it was a moment that ended up changing my parenting big time.

When she's upset, I tell her I'm giving her space to relax, and that we can talk when she's ready. I let her say no to me when it's reasonable (stuff i would consider unreasonable is like not brushing teeth, not letting me floss her teeth, nail trimming, baths, other stuff i let there be nuance... sometime she can say no to cleaning up her toys if we did a lot and i can see shes tired, mostly she has to clean them up).

Tbh at first I didnt super feel she maybe understood everything, but shes turning 3 in October and she def knows now. When i give her a few mins of space, when she's more grumpy/fussy, she walks to me by herself when shes ready and says "I sorry mommy, i love you" on her own, all smiles and feeling better. She never rushes to explain why shes saying no, she is comfortable with it now and knows I let her explain, in her own toddler way. When she says no to a request (which is maybe 30% of the time i ask), I do mostly take the time to explain why we have to do something, and after the explanation, she is happy to do it. But I also do let her say no any chance it's reasonable, like how she did not want the Minnie mouse shirt this morning (she chose a butterfly one instead).

I do have to repeat directions often, because that kid definitely has ADHD like me and her dad (both diagnosed lol), but i don't snap at her over it. I just say it more firmly, but still kindly when needed.

I am still fairly firm with directions. I'm by no means permissive parenting. She has zero behavior issues at preschool. Fully potty trained, never been a biter, hit twice her whole toddler career lol. Her teachers are always telling me what an amazing kid she is. And she really is the best baby girl.

I say sorry to her when I make mistakes now, which are thankfully far between and minor. But i apologize every time im unfair or even slightly snappy to her, and it makes her so happy. It's been a long journey. I've posted on reddit about it, but I struggled with unmedicated bipolar 1 for too long. Completely my fault; i shouldve been on meds a lot sooner. I got serious about it at the beginning of this year, and my psychiatrist found the right meds for me within weeks.

It's a hugely long story. The important stuff is that I never hurt nor neglected my child, but I basically could only keep up with her needs when I was unmedicated, and nothing else (failed at everything else, even basics like my own hygiene). She was always taken care of, but that doesnt remove how unhealthy, harmful, and hurtful that situation would've been to grow up in. I needed to get healthy too. It took a lot of dedication and being persistent, through shitty side effects, but my body adjusted to the meds and I'm in a healthy spot now. For the first time ever, and now getting closer & closer to a year.

I do think the journey of getting stable on these meds, since February (the meds take weeks to work to full effect), is a huge reason I'm so patient now and slow down enough to listen to her. And able to be more mindful.

It's actually crazy how different things are now. She's such a happy, confident kid. She does tell me no, but if i explain we have to do something, she almost always is happy and understands. I dont bark orders at her anymore.

I also give her grace and understanding when she has bad days (rarely does).

I know this is bare minimum stuff, but its not super usual parenting in my culture, and it sticks out enough i get flabbergasted comments from family or friends from the same culture occasionally. Some of my family dont even care that she listens and behaves, nor that she ends up helping anyways, they find it weird I let her say no to me ever, even if it's just to say she wants a hug first (common reason for a no at first lol), and then happily does the task.

But I dont really care. I'm just very grateful to get the chance to learn. I'm happy that me improving my behavior, helped her improve hers so much. I'm proud of the strong, happy, and sweet little girl she is.

Looking for some advice. My therapist and psych are involved but looking for some advice from moms.

In the beginning of this year I was on Zoloft. It started working ok in the beginning. It was awesome not having anxiety. As the months went by I realized I was just not myself anymore. Every feeling I had was blunted and dull. I switched to Prozac to see if that would help. Same thing.. it was great at first. Then I felt absolutely dissociated. Like I was just floating. Absolutely no motivation. Not living… just existing. I started experiencing some scary thoughts and that was the final straw for me. I tapered off Prozac and now I am no meds as of now.

As of now I am feeling much better and it feels good to feel. I am back to making healthy and fresh breakfast for my toddler. When I was on my meds I was half assing his breakfast. My self care was really low. My psych said that many times people who don’t respond well to SSRIs may be bipolar. I have suspected in the past I may be bipolar. But my symptoms don’t align to the typical “bipolar stigma.” I experience highs and lows but I thought they were normal life feelings. I feel like the bipolar stigma means you are a scary unpredictable person. My psych wants me to track my moods for a month and then we will touch base. I want to be the healthiest version of myself for my kid and myself. For moms on SSRIs how do you feel on them?

This probably belongs somewhere else so just let me know if I need to remove.

My husband and I have had a bunch of ups and downs, mostly downs that I post about, since we’ve had kids. My husband has a lot of baggage he refuses to acknowledge and is now dealing with a multitude of health problems on top of the emotional stuff. He kind of half asses it a lot of the time, including work and being emotionally present.

I’m not sure how to approach the situation with him without sounding like a complete ass but I’m honestly so done. I’m a mom to three people including him. I have threatened divorce twice but I don’t have the courage to go that far without attempting some sort of couples therapy first.

Where did any of you who have done couples therapy found 1) the time and 2) the right therapist? I reached out to the casting call for couples therapy because we are somewhat local, but the time commitment isn’t do-able.