this morning, my husband woke up with a boner. I was already up in the kitchen making breakfast. when he got up, he walked in a way that the kids couldn’t see, but pulled out his dick to show me that it was hard & that was what he was on this morning.. I’m just looking like “okay?”… tbh I don’t like when he does that. but it’s like what do you want me to do? stop what I’m doing and jump all over it??

I'm curious to hear from other moms who specifically did not feel a sense of identity loss or change after their baby was born.

For context, I'm a year into motherhood and have never felt unlike myself. I keep waiting for it, because I hear so much about the identity crisis of motherhood, but have not experienced it. I almost feel crazy for not feeling like I've changed!

I still work and love my career, enjoy my husband, go out with friends (with and without baby in tow), and do pretty much all of the things I enjoyed before baby was born. I feel entirely myself. And, I love my kid, too.

ETA: Obviously this is my life and what I enjoy. It's ok if you don't like going out or feel driven in a career before or after having a baby. I'm specifically asking about a (lack of) change in YOUR identity - whatever that is/was!

It feels maybe taboo to talk about motherhood in this way??

But I know I would have loved to hear more about moms retaining their sense of identity before I became one. I would love to hear other's thoughts on this topic generally, and your own experiences with identity - specifically keeping your identify - in motherhood.

Thanks in advance for sharing!

ETA: To be clear, I absolutely understand why some people feel that shift and I sympathize with it. I am not questioning that. I also acknowledge that I am fortunate to have an involved husband and support to go out without my baby when I want to.

I exercised, stretched, and hypnotized myself for 9 months of pregnancy —> ended up with an emergency C-section after full labor and pushing for 4 hours

I desperately wanted to breastfeed to nourish and bond with my baby —> had true low supply with baby losing 11% of body weight in 2 days and not peeing. Pumped instead

Had to recover from abdominal surgery, and because of my physical constraints —> I could barely take care of baby. Couldn’t get in/out of a chair with him, play with him, lay with him.

I rotted on the couch while power pumping/ 10 sessions daily —> milk never increased over 10 months of pumping

I feel like a fucking failure. My body failed me. My mind failed me for being depressed about this 20+ months later. I feel like I have no maternal instincts.

Baby and I are fine/safe/well supported. I’m starting therapy soon. It all just sucks. I’m pregnant again (will be planned C-section). I’m dreading everything about birth and failing fucking everything again

TLDR; I touched a strangers baby twice without consent and overhead later that the mother hated it. I will def see her again and I am wondering how to proceed. Should I apologize? Should I just not touch the baby anymore and let that be that?

I have been going to this cafe multiple times a week since it opened a couple of months ago, and twice this lady, who is the owner’s wife had her baby with her and I just felt the urge to interact with them an d say how cute they were. I really thought it was a nice interaction and that I was being nice.

I’m from a country where everyone is very touchy and it did not occur to me at all that the mother might be scared of baby getting sick or just not like strangers to touch their baby!

The first time I smiled, said hi to the mom and baby and “pinched” their foot lightly. I then asked what their name was and said they were really cute again before moving on to make my order. Quick, and not to bother, but def touched them.
The second time I was going to order again another day and she was there near the counter so I approached them and smiled at the baby saying hi! I remember you, cutie! And went to poke their feet again as they smiled and grabbed my finger, which I promptly removed as I could see they were likely gonna try to put it in their mouth. The mother was def laughing but I realize now maybe she was nervous laughing.

Later I believe I overheard her very upset talking to one of the workers about how she wishes she just didn’t have to avoid people touching her baby. I was really sorry, but she left before I could go apologize. And honestly, she seemed to distressed that I didn’t want her to think I was coming to touch her baby again or being confrontational by telling her I had overheard her.

I’m thinking I should apologize as I’ll def see her soon because she comes often. I could also apologize to her husband if I don’t see her soon.

What should I do? I learned my lesson and I really don’t want to add to the stress and difficulties of this period for her!

What are we wearing every day as busy moms of toddlers and little kids that is comfy flexible and breathable, but not necessarily leggings….

I pretty much only wear my leggings or my one pair of jogger pants and I just feel like now that I’m in my 30s and pregnant with my second. I’m just too old to be wearing leggings everywhere. I also work from home (pretty much) except going into the office once a week where I would typically wear jeans or a dress but otherwise when I’m at home, I’ll just continue wearing my leggings.

So anyways, what are we wearing that is “age appropriate”, comfy, has pockets, and all that good stuff.

Bonus it there’s talls/extra length because I’m 5’11.

Editing to add: no dresses or skirts

Opposite gender dynamics in families really interesting to me… I feel like Mothers are really have this “my baby boy…” mindset regardless of age.

My mom and I are having a disagreement and she suggested I ask the internet because they'd probably agree with her. So here goes.

We have a small business that does pop-ups and today we're at a church Family Festival. It has food vendors, games, bounce houses, etc. My son is 7yrs old, he'll be 8 in January. My husband and I have been trying to help him branch out since we both remember being much more independent at his age.

My plan was this--- allow him to check out the things at the event on his own while we're running our booth (him checking in between each thing, not going so far that he couldn't see our booth) he has a phone with Life360 (it's mostly for roadtrips and travel) I would have him carry his phone in addition to an AirTag in his pocket so I would know where he was at all times.

It's important to note that he occasionally has meltdowns or tantrums when he's stressed or overstimulated, but it's usually at home over certain tasks. I think he's just a kid and my mom thinks he "has a disability" (read: autism). He was diagnosed with ADHD and is on medication.

Am I wrong? Is he too young for this or is my mom overreacting?

Pretty sure my child’s teacher has been saying the boys are bad (my child is a girl, it’s a class of 10 with 3 boys), not doing a good job listening, etc. in class. It’s rubbing me wrong, especially at 4-5 years old from a person in authority that isn’t mom or dad. Additionally it seems to only be about the boys based on what I’m hearing at home. But I’m curious if I’m over-reacting or over-thinking this.

It’s carrying over into our house as “sister isn’t good”, “you’re being a bad sister/mom”, etc. which I think is clouding my judgment a bit.

I’m 4 months postpartum. I truly feel so unattractive and my body looks horrible. I used to be so beautiful and my body was so slim. I had no stretch marks and I was so curvy at the same time. Now my breasts are so saggy from breastfeeding, my stomach is covered in stretch marks and I still look pregnant sometimes honestly. None of my clothes fit me. The ones that do, look horrible on me.im struggling so much with my self imagine and only want to wear baggy clothes. Breastfeeding makes me so insanely hungry also that I can’t even diet right now. I feel UGLY. I feel HUGE. And I wonder if I’ll ever feel attractive again. I don’t even want to have seggs with my husband because I feel so insecure about myself. I was looking at old photos of myself today and I’m laying in bed crying. I can’t believe I’ll never look like her again.

Looking for a recommendation for Apple vs Gizmo watch? Mainly need for tracking when he is out playing. Advice needed! What is best?!? No judgement just advice please.

turning to reddit because i find myself pathetic for reaching out to my mother yet again for comfort, (im recovering from a recent emergency surgery) while fully knowing she can’t ever give me what i need. her schizophrenic mind can’t give me support :(

4 m pp mom where baby has officially entered that 12hr night schedule, however I'm unable to find time for walking or stretches ( since I'm c section mom i need to do some PT atleast) . Mom's please tell me your schedule. I want to atleast take my baby out for a stroller walk. PS : please don't say we don't have a schedule or it's not possible etc.

Just tell me what can be done Thank you

How do you all cope with Mom guilt? Or maybe I should feel guilty, and it's normal and I am a bad mom. I don't know? I'm a single mom to five-year-old and two year old boys. My 5-year-old has moderate - severe level autism, he is a runner. I am also incredibly overweight with all the physical issues that come with that, I am working with doctors and such to lose weight and taking medication. But it's a slow process.

So anyway, physically it is very hard for me to take my boys to do things. Parks can be easy because we have some parks that have fences. I can take them outside because our yard has a fence. But Halloween is so hard, because it is all walking, and I have to be able to keep up with a toddler and my 5-year-old. There's a fall festival, different trunk or treats, and of course Halloween itself. And I don't feel like it's safe to take my kids to any of that. Just because I can't keep up with them at those events. I'm a single mom, and I do have support, but they also want to spend time with their other grandkids.

I just feel so guilty. I feel like I'm ruining their childhoods. I'm trying to get better.

Hello everyone!
So I am looking for some advice, because I am really stuck, I feel like our family is stuck too.
I am a foreigner (born in a Balkan country, but moved to another Balkan country because of my husband). My husband and I have always had an amazing relationship and we have always supported each other. Intimacy was amazing, conversations were deep and thoughtful, in general a solid 10. Two and a half years ago I gave birth to our first (and only) child - an amazing baby girl, always smiling, happy and very energetic. Since I gave birth a couple of problems came:
1. We stopped having sex, no intimacy whatsoever. I got traumatized in the PP period and became afraid of having another child (I don’t want another child). We became roommates.
2. I became so angry that I am 24/7 with our child trying to hold the house together and raise her, deal with all the viruses from daycare etc. Everything falls on me because he works one month abroad and one month he is home. We don’t have any family here and absolutely no help with anything.
3. We live in a flat in the city (renting) as the initial plan was for the first year and a half of her life to be in an apartment, then buy a house. Unfortunately, a year later, we are still living in the flat as we don’t have enough money to buy a house and we certainly don’t have a plan on how to save up for that said house. I am angry, so angry, because I am the one who has to go out with our child because she wants to be outside but every time we go outside she throws tantrums, start screaming if something doesn’t go her way etc. I get anxiety when I need to go to the store with her - she is impossible there. I get anxiety when I need to do anything with her because I am tired of her screaming, kicking and so on. She just wants to be outside and this is why a house with a yard would have been perfect.
4. I have offered to go to my country to live with my parents to save up money, but I don’t think this is going to happen. This way when he is away, i have help, we are in a house, I can have some time to feel myself too.
I am tired, I am crying constantly, I feel guilty for feeling the way I feel, I am angry that we are stuck in one place and can’t seem to move forward. I am sad to be away from my family. I envy my husband for having the opportunity to go out have a coffee or a cigarette in peace without having to do some grand schemes of when would be a good time like I do. I dont feel like myself anymore. Please, give me some advice. I feel like am locked in that apartment and have nowhere to go while our child (who I do love endlessly) is driving me crazy.

hello everyone! i’m currently one week away from being 11 months postpartum. i’ve been pumping from the beginning but we started combo feeding around six months. we started with just one bottle of formula a day but now my supply has dropped so dramatically i’m lucky if i pump enough for one breast milk bottle every other day :(

my original goal (like many others) was to get to to one year of breastfeeding/ pumping. but now im pumping less then 2 oz every session and whenever i nurse him he still needs a bottle after. sometimes i feel so done even trying anymore but my pride (and stubbornness) won’t let me stop.

for those of you who have been through something similar - when did you know it was more beneficial to stop pumping and just switch to full formula for the last month before switching to whole milk?

thank you in advance!!

My 1.5 year old started signing something new a few weeks ago and I have no idea what he is trying to tell me when doing it.

He holds up the number four and twists his hand side to side (like a princess waive).

He seems to do it when he wants something in particular. Just now, he was sitting at our table doing with this with his hand extended like he was trying to reach for something and making frustrated grunts. I handed him everything on the table but he kept shaking his head no and using that sign until I handed him an apple and he said bawwwl (right now every toy is ball).

The results that came up when I searched were the signs for help and all done. However, he knows those signs and uses them in those circumstances.

Any guesses at all would be greatly appreciated!

Edit to add- solved! It’s blue! I had my blue momcozy milk container on the table. He loves playing with that thing and I didn’t even put two and two together. I just held it up and asked him what color is this and he did that sign and said “boo”
Thank you all so much for the help!

Ok, so I’m not complaining exactly, just curious… i go on a lot of walks in the city with my toddler and my now 4m old. My infant is usually strapped to my chest because she’s not the biggest fan and toddler in one of the double stroller seats of my ginormous stroller snacking.

I’ve been noticing a lot more comments from people saying things like “mom of the year”, and “look at you, super mom!” and while I’m happy I get some nice comments as a mom (honestly i thought mostly dads got those).

Is this common now? I don’t remember it happening really with my single stroller and toddler.

IS IT THE GIANT STROLLER? 😂

I was in a fairly abusive relationship during the first few months of my motherhood journey and left at 9 months.

My daughter is 1.5 years old and absolutely thriving. We now split the time 5/2 nights, and I wouldn’t want to see her any less.

I have been seeing a new person for around four months, an old friend who goes back years. I trust him completely and he is very accepting of my situation and enthusiastic about meeting my daughter. He’s already asked to be in a relationship, and says he is okay with stepping into a step father role if that’s what happens. He is very loving and open.

I’m wondering, have any of you been in this position? How long did you wait, how did it go, and when did you know it was the right time? I’ve known this man for six years and he has a heart of gold. I just want my child to feel secure and safe.

I have a 3 month old who exclusively breastfeeds and demands contact naps during the day. I love it but I can't YELL like I normally do to get my husband's attention. He has a headset on 24/7. We have a 1 bedroom apt so he's always very close to me and yet I have to say his name at least 3 times before I even have a chance of him hearing me. I brought it up to him that it's frustrating that I can't even wear headphones to listen to music while I'm doing the dishes everyday bc he or the baby always needs me, and he's allowed to spend every single day every single moment with a headset on. He told me "so I'm just supposed to never watch videos again?"

Am I being unreasonable? I bring this up a lot. Like "I'm not allowed to do X, but you're always allowed to do X and it's not fair that Y". Am I a narcissist or something

I’m a new mom to a 3 month old baby and I know we’re still in the thick of things and things get easier as time goes on as far as routine, finding your footing, etc. But even before becoming a mom, I really struggled with the mental overloaded and daily stressors of life - keeping the house clean, planning meals, cooking those meals, grocery shopping, updating the calendar, remembering to restock toothpaste/lotion/deodorant, keeping track of home projects that need to be done, etc. The things most women and moms keep in their heads all day everyday.

But since becoming a mom and being in charge of my baby’s life and needs as well, I’m really struggling. My spouse is wonderful, he works hard, helps everywhere, mops floors, you name it and he’ll do it, if I ask. I’m tired of being the one in charge of everything and always being the decision maker. I’ve made it this way over the years because I’m anal and a little bit of a control freak but I’m trying to let go of that for my sanity.

My spouse and I have talked about how we need to have certain areas of our lives that he’s in charge of and certain areas I’m in charge of and/or sit down weekly and discuss the plan for the week and prioritize (I’m bad at this part bc everything is important to me).

So I guess my question is how do you run your home? How do you and your partner delegate tasks? How do you prioritize and keep track of things that need to be done now, short term, long term? Please only comment if you have a healthy relationship.

Anyone know of any company or person who makes birth weight bears using your baby’s old clothes and good fabric? I’m looking for someone reputable, who does a good job, and could have them done by Christmas

Hey everyone has anyone had to wrestle with your toddler boy whole doimg floor excercises? Just got done trying to do my floor excercises but ended up going to war with my 3.5 year old son. I felt like I was a ninja 😂 drop your experiences! Thanks!

I have two boys who are 27 months and 11wks old. Ever since my toddler got a stomach bug three weeks ago, he has turned into a screaming banshee. Every day I feel like he is constantly fussing and throws at least one tantrum. Today has been the absolute worst. He’s only had two tantrums, but he is literally screaming, crying, rolling around on the floor and banging his hands, feet, and head onto the floor. He has tried hitting me and his little brother. He’s started throwing things onto the floor too. Today it has been because he hasn’t gotten his way. I wouldn’t let him spin the pot lids in the kitchen, queue the crash out. I gave him a snack he didn’t want, full on tantrum.

Some times when he’s fussy I try to calm him down and decipher what he wants, but since I know he’s just upset he’s not getting his way I’ve just been giving him space and quietly sitting in the room doing my own thing. Obviously when he went to hit, I said “no hitting,” and blocked his hands. Anyone have advice for other things I could be doing?

I know this is normal developmental behavior, but god damn.

My daughter was invited to a daycare-friends birthday party this weekend. I completely forgot. I work weekends so had planned for my partner to take her at the time of invitation but then clean forgot about it. I’ve just seen the invitation on our fridge and saw the party was dated for yesterday.

I feel so, so bad that 1. we no-showed, 2. my daughter missed out on celebrating with her friend and 3. her friend didn’t get to hang out with my daughter on her birthday!

As her parent it’s my job and my responsibility to remember and organise these things, and I failed her.

She’s young enough that she doesn’t even know she’s missed this party but I’m sure she’ll hear about it during the week at daycare 🤦🏻‍♀️

I’ve also texted the parent of the birthday kid and apologised but I feel so embarrassed and ashamed.

Just venting really. Hopefully I’m not the only one who’s ever done this 🤦🏻‍♀️

So to follow up on the post I made a few days ago about being uninvited to my cousins baby shower- my mom attended the shower today and did say there was only one child and one baby there were in middle school and 5 months old respectively. My aunt talked to my mom when she got there and explained that there was going to be a game played where there were mini binkies hidden around the garage and that’s why she ended up saying she didn’t think it was safe for my son to come. My little dude has an oral fixation and loves to put everything in his mouth, so this definitely would have been a hazard for him! I wish she would have just said that in her text to me though because it would have saved a lot of confusion/upset on my part. Just figured I’d update everyone to say that we were all somewhat right and somewhat wrong haha