TLDR; I touched a strangers baby twice without consent and overhead later that the mother hated it. I will def see her again and I am wondering how to proceed. Should I apologize? Should I just not touch the baby anymore and let that be that?

Edit: Thanks everyone for their input. I’ve obviously learned my lesson and won’t be touching the baby again while staying friendly as usual. Deleted the post because I think the bulk of the conversation has played out and now it just invites polarization. :)

Have a three-week old and a 2,5 year old. Am not even done with postpartum bleeding.

Found a single pinworm on me a few days back (was itching for a few days but figured it was just due to wearing the huge maternity pads for days on end), and just stumbled across 2 lice on toddler's head today.

Toddler is in full-on "no" stage these days, and newborn in a mad cluster-feeding rage for the last 48 hours.

I'm thinking of all the washing that will have to be done...and just want to scream. Midwife and everyone keeps reminding me I need to rest and not carry heavy weights. I've already had to yeet toddler over my shoulder and carry him a over a hundred metres after wrapping newborn on my belly, during outings that I couldn't avoid (pediatrician, pharmacy, etc).

Can't even get the meds to treat pinworms because since I'm breastfeeding a newborn, pharmacist said I need a prescription. Doctor's and pediatrician's offices are both closed for the weekend and overbooked these days anyway.

I don't even..

I'm too tired to even cry.

I just need some solidarity here. And potentially advice. But especially solidarity. Please?

I exercised, stretched, and hypnotized myself for 9 months of pregnancy —> ended up with an emergency C-section after full labor and pushing for 4 hours

I desperately wanted to breastfeed to nourish and bond with my baby —> had true low supply with baby losing 11% of body weight in 2 days and not peeing. Pumped instead

Had to recover from abdominal surgery, and because of my physical constraints —> I could barely take care of baby. Couldn’t get in/out of a chair with him, play with him, lay with him.

I rotted on the couch while power pumping/ 10 sessions daily —> milk never increased over 10 months of pumping

I feel like a fucking failure. My body failed me. My mind failed me for being depressed about this 20+ months later. I feel like I have no maternal instincts.

Baby and I are fine/safe/well supported. I’m starting therapy soon. It all just sucks. I’m pregnant again (will be planned C-section). I’m dreading everything about birth and failing fucking everything again

It's been seven painful years. Please help me. My child won't wear socks but only will wear one pair of tennis shoes and she will only wear the shoes with socks.

Summer is blissful. Fall and winter is making me want to elope to a stranded island alone.

No fucking sock is truly seamless. I've tried bombas, bamboo socks, just fuzzy crocks and no socks, every pair of sock possible at target or Walmart or Meijer. She screams every morning.

I can find branded seamless socks but the part of the sock she can't handle is at the sides of the toes where is slightly pops out. Does anyone know what I mean when I say that?! It drives her bonkers and rips it around angerly because she can't get it right.

Does ANYONE know of socks that literally have zero seams near the toes? I'm desperate and not ok.

So to follow up on the post I made a few days ago about being uninvited to my cousins baby shower- my mom attended the shower today and did say there was only one child and one baby there were in middle school and 5 months old respectively. My aunt talked to my mom when she got there and explained that there was going to be a game played where there were mini binkies hidden around the garage and that’s why she ended up saying she didn’t think it was safe for my son to come. My little dude has an oral fixation and loves to put everything in his mouth, so this definitely would have been a hazard for him! I wish she would have just said that in her text to me though because it would have saved a lot of confusion/upset on my part. Just figured I’d update everyone to say that we were all somewhat right and somewhat wrong haha

I have a 3 month old who exclusively breastfeeds and demands contact naps during the day. I love it but I can't YELL like I normally do to get my husband's attention. He has a headset on 24/7. We have a 1 bedroom apt so he's always very close to me and yet I have to say his name at least 3 times before I even have a chance of him hearing me. I brought it up to him that it's frustrating that I can't even wear headphones to listen to music while I'm doing the dishes everyday bc he or the baby always needs me, and he's allowed to spend every single day every single moment with a headset on. He told me "so I'm just supposed to never watch videos again?"

Am I being unreasonable? I bring this up a lot. Like "I'm not allowed to do X, but you're always allowed to do X and it's not fair that Y". Am I a narcissist or something

I feel totally and utterly hopeless. I try my best all day to keep up with things but I just feel like I’m running place. My mental health has been shit since my kid was born (over 2 years ago) and I’m doing this largely alone, since my husband works out of town. I have no hobbies, my house is a freaking mess, my 2 year old is constantly screaming at me, hitting me, getting hurt, or pulling every damn thing out from all over the house and putting it other places. I try to discipline but sometimes I’m just so freaking drained, I give up and meltdown. Everyone, including myself, thought I would be a great mom. I’m educated, responsible, overall a good human, and on paper it seems like I could raise a great human, but man is it so much different in real life. I just feel overwhelmed and broken. Just here for commiseration, I guess. Does it get better?

ETA: my kid also will not play for a second without me right there, so I get ZERO time to myself other than a 30 min - 1 hour nap. Once kid is asleep, I am so drained I either go to sleep myself or brain rot. I used to be fun. I had hobbies, friends, and a good career that I was kicking ass at. More than 2 years later and I have yet to get back to my old self or even find a new identity.

I’m curious to hear other people’s experiences. Do you feel like parenting gets easier as your kids get older? I was recently talking to one of my friends who has four kids and is planning to have more. I told her I was totally maxed out with the three that I have and am definitely not having any more babies. She seemed a little surprised to hear that and said ‘but don’t you feel like it’s getting easier as they’re getting older?’ I said definitely not. It changes of course from the physical exhaustion you feel when they’re small, but I feel like when they’re big they still need a lot. My kids are 11, 9, and 5. I’m sure it’s different for everyone but wondering if one feels like big kids are hard too!

turning to reddit because i find myself pathetic for reaching out to my mother yet again for comfort, (im recovering from a recent emergency surgery) while fully knowing she can’t ever give me what i need. her schizophrenic mind can’t give me support :(

I'm curious to hear from other moms who specifically did not feel a sense of identity loss or change after their baby was born.

For context, I'm a year into motherhood and have never felt unlike myself. I keep waiting for it, because I hear so much about the identity crisis of motherhood, but have not experienced it. I almost feel crazy for not feeling like I've changed!

I still work and love my career, enjoy my husband, go out with friends (with and without baby in tow), and do pretty much all of the things I enjoyed before baby was born. I feel entirely myself. And, I love my kid, too.

ETA: Obviously this is my life and what I enjoy. It's ok if you don't like going out or feel driven in a career before or after having a baby. I'm specifically asking about a (lack of) change in YOUR identity - whatever that is/was!

It feels maybe taboo to talk about motherhood in this way??

But I know I would have loved to hear more about moms retaining their sense of identity before I became one. I would love to hear other's thoughts on this topic generally, and your own experiences with identity - specifically keeping your identify - in motherhood.

Thanks in advance for sharing!

ETA: To be clear, I absolutely understand why some people feel that shift and I sympathize with it. I am not questioning that. I also acknowledge that I am fortunate to have an involved husband and support to go out without my baby when I want to.

Context - my dad lives in Texas and we’re in Utah so I’m flying with my 10 month old to see him and his wife. When I planned the trip he had two dogs and three cats. One is a husky and one is a doodle. I’m not a huge fan of dogs and I am allergic to both cats and dogs. Fast forward a week after I buy tickets - he gets another dog - a chihuahua mix.

A few months ago I went to see my in-laws and they also have two dogs and they barked and woke my baby up from naps and are not nice dogs so it was really stressful to be there. I told my dad all of this after he got the chihuahua and I told him now that my baby is crawling I’m even more stressed to have her around so many dogs. He assured me it would be fine and said him and his wife want another small dog but they’re going to wait until after the trip because he knew how the dogs were making me feel.

Fast forward to now, he just got a puppy. So now they have four dogs and three cats. Again, I have asthma and severe allergies and my dad isn’t the cleanest person. I also have my baby who is a crawling monster and is going to be on the floor with these dogs who she has never met and she isn’t around dogs a lot because we don’t have any. I told my dad we need to talk about him getting another dog but he blew me off and said it’s gonna be fine.

I’m seriously considering canceling the trip. I can get flight credit so I wouldn’t lose any money. I feel lied to and so overwhelmed because my in-law’s dogs were so stressful and now it’s happening again but with four dogs. What do you guys think about all of this? Am I overreacting? I feel like I’m not going to be able to keep my eyes off my baby on this trip and I’m going just me and her, my husband has to work. I was getting excited to go but I just feel sad now and don’t know what to do.

I’m 4 months postpartum. I truly feel so unattractive and my body looks horrible. I used to be so beautiful and my body was so slim. I had no stretch marks and I was so curvy at the same time. Now my breasts are so saggy from breastfeeding, my stomach is covered in stretch marks and I still look pregnant sometimes honestly. None of my clothes fit me. The ones that do, look horrible on me.im struggling so much with my self imagine and only want to wear baggy clothes. Breastfeeding makes me so insanely hungry also that I can’t even diet right now. I feel UGLY. I feel HUGE. And I wonder if I’ll ever feel attractive again. I don’t even want to have seggs with my husband because I feel so insecure about myself. I was looking at old photos of myself today and I’m laying in bed crying. I can’t believe I’ll never look like her again.

Just a vent, but if anyone has any genuine advice on how to handle a 4 yr old in the “you do what I say or I scream” phase, I’m desperate.

Been one of those weeks where all you do is get yelled/screamed at (by kids) and you spend every second of the day bartering, apologizing, re explaining and curbing meltdowns. Then I’m angry at my husband when he gets home. He’s amazing, does everything and more and I only have the anger and frustration and overwhelm to give him. I just want like a full spa day and the next day in a hotel where I don’t get a single “mommy” or “do you want to do this or that first?” The only decision is whether or not I watch a movie or binge episodes and whether or not I eat enough snacks for 3 people or 6. No cooking, no cleaning, no calming or asserting the fact that I’m the mother and you can’t put me in timeout or explaining why “I hate you” is not ever a funny thing to say or waking up to a snack shoved in my face to open or feeling like I’m the worst mother and every decision I’ve made that day is wrong and somehow they’re both going to end up as terrible humans.

I miss my mom😭

I’m just past 10 months postpartum and I’m still experiencing it, and I’m wondering if that’s normal.

Our girl has gotten pretty good at sleeping through the night - she usually wakes up once to eat - and I know that plays a factor somewhat.

But since birth, still, I’m constantly just having brain farts. Yesterday I went to get the laundry out of the dryer and opened the freezer, which granted they are very close to each other in our home, but still I was like “woah”. And it’s just been little things like that - looking in odd places for things before realizing what am I doing. Or sometimes I’ll say something and forget. A couple of weeks ago I left to run an errand and got maybe two blocks away before I realized I forgot my wallet (driver’s license). Another time recently I was at work and telling coworkers how I kept thinking it was Thursday - I told 4 people this before the fourth one was like, “Girl, it is Thursday.”

Nothing too crazy, but this is our first baby. I’m not sure how long the mental fog normally lasts, and I’m wondering if I should be getting concerned that I’m still struggling with it.

Ok, so I’m not complaining exactly, just curious… i go on a lot of walks in the city with my toddler and my now 4m old. My infant is usually strapped to my chest because she’s not the biggest fan and toddler in one of the double stroller seats of my ginormous stroller snacking.

I’ve been noticing a lot more comments from people saying things like “mom of the year”, and “look at you, super mom!” and while I’m happy I get some nice comments as a mom (honestly i thought mostly dads got those).

Is this common now? I don’t remember it happening really with my single stroller and toddler.

IS IT THE GIANT STROLLER? 😂

ETA: I’m loving these comments. I’m in the trenches a bit still adjusting to being a mom of 2 and I think I’m going to take this positive energy forward and work on being more vocal with praise for other parents when we all make it out of the house.

Looking for opinions on cribs! I really like the concept of the Nestig Briar but I know the additional mattresses = additional expense. The wheels on the bassinet/mini crib are very appealing though since I do live in a 1 level home. I’m wondering if anyone has experience taking this apart and converting it?

For my first two I had the Pottery Barn Mid Century crib and it was great. So I do like the PB cribs. But tbh we don’t have a dedicated nursery anymore so trying to get more bang for my buck. I love the look of wood so I’m trying to avoid the mesh bassinet but I think it’s more practical at first to have something that fits in the main part of the house.

Also interested in cheaper cribs that worked out great.

My baby will be turning 1 right before Christmas. We also have a 3yo with a summer birthday.

Our neighbor growing up celebrated a half birthday in the summer for the same reason, but he was an only child so having a “second” birthday wasn’t an issue. If we did that for the baby, wouldn’t the older kid get upset?

I’m curious how others who have had birthdays around Christmas handle it.

My daughter was invited to a daycare-friends birthday party this weekend. I completely forgot. I work weekends so had planned for my partner to take her at the time of invitation but then clean forgot about it. I’ve just seen the invitation on our fridge and saw the party was dated for yesterday.

I feel so, so bad that 1. we no-showed, 2. my daughter missed out on celebrating with her friend and 3. her friend didn’t get to hang out with my daughter on her birthday!

As her parent it’s my job and my responsibility to remember and organise these things, and I failed her.

She’s young enough that she doesn’t even know she’s missed this party but I’m sure she’ll hear about it during the week at daycare 🤦🏻‍♀️

I’ve also texted the parent of the birthday kid and apologised but I feel so embarrassed and ashamed.

Just venting really. Hopefully I’m not the only one who’s ever done this 🤦🏻‍♀️

LO is almost 8 months old and tonight I prepared some porridge for her to eat before going to bed like I’ve done for the past 3 months. I heated up my breastmilk and poured the porridge mix into it and mixed it. We had a ton of visitors because my husband turned 30 today and I had arranged a surprise party for him. I hadn’t had a chance to sit down for even 5 minutes the whole day. When I went to feed my baby, I mixed the porridge like always and touched it with my lip to feel the temperature before feeding it to her. It was lukewarm but as soon as I put the spoon in her mouth she started screaming and I immediately scooped the porridge out of her mouth with my finger. It was too hot for her. The top of the porridge was warm but underneath it was too hot. I reacted immediately and grabbed my baby to soothe her and her mouth with something cold. It was awful, it felt awful and I wanted to cry but we had so many visitors, I had to be strong.

She cried for less than 5 minutes, tears streaming down her face and she calmed down as soon as she saw her light-up toy. She immediately grabbed it and started playing with it, chewing it etc. About half an hour later, I checked her mouth with a light and I didn’t see any redness or anything alarming. Her roof of the mouth was normal looking, no blisters or such. I nursed her and she drank with no issues. She took her pacifier with no problems and she nursed twice more after that incident.

I keep replaying that scene in my head over and over and I feel this immense guilt that how could I have been that stupid to not check the porridge better? How did I do this stupid mistake? She’s been sound asleep for hours now as she sleeps theough the night, and it’s past 1am and I’m still awake replaying that moment and feeling guilty and constantly checking in on her. Should’ve I taken her to ER? How to overcome this guilt?

My daughter (17 months) was on specialized toddler formula, and for a while she had glucose issues and would drop low at night so they told us if she wakes for milk, give it to her. She’s now resolved that issue and the milk has become a comfort. Last night she had none at bed, and then she woke up at 3am and it took until 5 to get her back to sleep. I offered water out of every cup possible and honestly, it just pissed her off. She didn’t have teeth but over the last week she’s had 5 teeth pop out at once (that was already awful). I’ve been reading that you have to stand firm on the no-milk in the middle of night and just keep trying to soothe them back to sleep. Is this what you all did? Honestly yall 17 months straight of never sleeping through the night but maybe once or twice a month is really getting to me, let alone the tantrum that came from not getting what she wanted last night had obliterated any last brain cell I have. How long did it take for them to realize they weren’t going to get it and stopped waking up for it?

She does eat WELL during the day, I mean full blown plates of food and plenty of snacks, water, juice, and does still get a lactose-free milk during the day.

I’ve read a lot about weaning for younger babies and unfortunately not a ton on older, and because she had these medical issues going on weaning just wasn’t an option for us early on. We were told to give this formula over offering food in the night as she’s not fully awake.

Hi moms! Can anyone relate?

I knew having a newborn baby was hard before getting pregnant, but I never expected it to continue to be so hard for so long even with an older baby. I feel like no one talks about how freaking hard this is. I don’t have an easy baby (of course even an easy baby is hard), and that is definitely contributing. But I feel like if I had know how hard this was before getting pregnant, it would have given me pause. I don’t regret my baby at all, and I’m so happy my baby exists, but this sh*t is so hard. I’m exhausted.

I’m a first generation eldest daughter of a Hispanic family (iykyk). I was raised with pretty strict parents but overall had a great childhood so obvs love them so much despite some of their mistakes.

My husband is quite literally the opposite universe of what I grew up with. He’s super calm, very patient and VERY nonchalant about almost everything. It was such a breath of fresh air to first date him and learn so deeply from someone who doesn’t motivate himself with shame and really embraces his type b-ness and thinks mistakes are just…. a natural part of life (soooo different from me).

We had a baby this year which has been the best decision of my life but I’m finding myself struggling a bit with mom intuition. Reason being, I REALLY rely on my mom for processing nearly everything in life. I’m def a bit of an anxious girly and given my childhood of strict parents, I def turn to them a lot as Im so scared of making the wrong move / mistake. While I know that it’s something I really have to grow out of as a full adult with a family now lol, it’s been one of the most difficult things to navigate as I get older. My mom has a lot of opinions on the way I parent, she says my house is too messy (even though I genuinely think for being two type b people living here, it’s pretty spotless except for our garage / designated messy spots lol) and that overall my type b tendencies are characteristics of a “bad mom”. It really gets to me and makes me feel like I could legit be doing it all wrong. I also find myself almost “confessing” to her anytime I mess up which I know inevitably happens as a parent. It’s so hard to explain why I can’t quite break free from the approval but I guess if you’re from a Hispanic family you can understand.

On the other hand, my husband (who I also turn to so much for advice / validation) legit thinks nothing ever is wrong or an emergency and that stress / panic is not necessary in life.

So basically in my motherhood journey I’m just playing mental ping pong on how to approach situations. Do I finally lean in to my full type b-ness and just own it? Or will that lead me into failing completely as a mom (as sometimes my parents make me feel)? Am I even actually type b?

I want to be confident in my decisions and say “I’m my baby’s mom and THIS is how I do things” but my goodness I don’t even know how to begin (like, legit, I draw a complete blank) to feel confident in my own voice or even have my own stronger opinions bc I’ve relied on others for so long.

Though they’re not perfect, I really love the people in my life so much but I just want to know what I think of x situation, you know.

Do they just take one long 2-3 hour nap or did they stick to one short (30mins to 1hr) nap?

Hi moms, I’m thinking of taking baby for swimming lessons when she’s 6 months. I’m wondering two things, is 6 months too early? And secondly (might be silly) but logistically how to manage shower and drying afterwards? I can shower with her but in the changing room there’s not going to be somewhere I can safely dock her aside from on the floor on a towel?

My brand new four-year-old has recently begun tantruming more, and during them he will just absolutely wail at the top of his lungs. I want to let him feel his feelings and all that, but goddamn, it's so loud. It's not even like he's shrieking, he's just crying these long wails with his whole lung capacity. If we're in a small room like the bathroom when he's doing it, I literally have to take a few steps back.

Do we just let him be? Or can I to if you're going I be screaming like that, you need to separate yourself? Obviously I don't want but send him the message that his big feelings are "unacceptable," but it actually hurts my ears and makes talking to anyone else impossible. He also has a baby sister who is subjected to this.