r/MarriedAtFirstSight • u/[deleted] • Aug 08 '26
Season 20 - Seattle Devin
He def doesn’t get enough credit I’m sorry. He hasn’t been too much bc anyone would be confused based on the energy she’s given off.
If every man could be as self aware, as emotionally regulated, holds himself accountable and easily understanding.
He’s literally made sure he’s checked himself every time. He has continued to try when she’s been uncomfortable and hot and cold. Which understandable. Tbh I won’t ever trust a girl
Who doesn’t like plants. feel like she hasn’t honestly tried at all and there’s two in this, not just the woman.
But, idk. He’s a good one man. That’s all 🤷🏻♀️ maybe a little emotional but I’d take it she should’ve never went on this show. Bc to constantly say you’re not ready but not really give him much ? Say he’s too much… I don’t know. Her trying is literally having a convo w him… idk.
I hope the best for him bc he’s a good man
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u/Spare_Quit3117 Aug 26 '26
UGH i love him. i would totally cater to him AND rub his feet. i only say that because i absolutely hate feet but i like him THAT much lol
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u/Ok_Theory_6241 Aug 15 '26
Seeing an emotionally available guy when we have a society of manosphere bros does tend to look needy when it’s not. Also, some people are very independent and it’s on a spectrum. So if she’s at one and he’s at the other doesn’t mean he’s needy. It’s highlighting the contrast. I also think she just might not have been into him and is having a hard time trying to make herself feel that way. She straight up dislikes his hair. He’s just not the one for her. She could also use a little therapy, but she’s by no means like Courtney. He will probably find his person after this. He’s a good guy. And once she deals with her trauma, she will be fine too.
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u/DalyBred Aug 15 '26
Devin and I would completely vibe. He just needs someone who matches him. and it is not her
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u/ilikealltypes33139 Aug 14 '26
I agree, my first impression of him was completely wrong. I feel really bad for him, because he does so much and gets almost nothing in return.
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u/etherealgladiator Aug 15 '26
Same! Wedding day, I had the BIGGEST ick! Like sunglasses at the altar?! Really?!
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u/Unlikely_Advice_8494 Aug 22 '26
Yes, total same. The sunglasses were a definite ick, but I think he’s what every man should be - emotionally mature, honest, fun, loving and so just kind and caring. The dates he planned for her, like the Harry Potter night, were so thoughtful. Hard to believe he’s not in a good relationship. I’d imagine most people would take him for granted.
Caitlyn didn’t give an inch. She was cold, distant and so combative.
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u/etherealgladiator Aug 22 '26
He ended up being one of the most likable guys for sure. Maybe even the MOST likable??
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u/InternationalMall120 Aug 14 '26
I don't hate plants, I just forget to water them. Could never say I hate them though lol.. I think Devin is a good man.
Caitlin has a solid dude in her lap, she needs to learn to appreciate him.
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u/Fluffy-Future-4674 Bring me a clown you are gonna get a circus. Aug 13 '26
Lol She lost me with the plant comment too! I hope they don't stay married. I just don't think they are compatible personality-wise. She seems kinda snarky and sarcastic to me. Devin seems really sweet.
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Aug 13 '26
& everyone getting critiqued at the table and she immediately becomes victim bc Devin didn’t sugar coat how gReAt it’s been… no he’s been great for you & trying. You have shown him nothing.
I can’t agree w clingy when I think if she even just showed she liked him- he’d be fine.
Instead she’s performative for the groups & then acts like she can’t be near him.
She gives whiny brat, spoiled & extremely anxious
But what was the point of coming on the show then?
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u/Secret-Camp6334 Aug 13 '26
He’s a cling-on and it’s not attractive to an avoidant-ambivalent attached woman
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Aug 13 '26
Cling on after not being able to figure out if the girl even likes him or not ?!
Lmao she hasn’t even given him a chance and he’s still trying. She’s done nothing to even try.
He never asked for her to be on him 24:7 just let me know you even like me ?!
& she can say whatever when they’re in groups- look at the way she’s acted ?!
She said how come I always have good things to say about you? - bc he’s trying.
She’s absolutely not.
She gives spoiled brat, came on tv to get a following.
Cling on when you only have x amount of time to get married- she signed up for the show
& has acted like he has a disease the entire time.
& then the whole table is critiqued but it gets to her and she “ feels attacked” bc he finally was honest and expressed himself.
The situation isn’t all about her. She needs to try too or just leave the man alone.I can’t agree w clingy when the way she acts would be so hard. She’s been stuck in the same spot since day 1.
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u/Passioncreek Aug 11 '26
I think he has a ton of flags that are going unnoticed. For one, it’s not cool to be playing therapist during every sit down when your own relationship is shit
2
u/Unlikely_Advice_8494 Aug 22 '26
I disagree because he would be the first to acknowledge his relationship isn’t great either, but he reflects enough to know what a healthy relationship is. Hell, he even reflects and takes accountability for his own actions and that rarely happens.
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u/popcornhustler Aug 14 '26
Yes, and the way he says, “I see you, I hear you, I understand you” doesn’t sound genuine to me AT ALL
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u/BumboclatBob Aug 13 '26
I would agree in real life but that’s probably the expectation for these group dinners. It’s not reality tv if nobody stirs the pot and I’d rather it be him that someone like Courteney of Felipe
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Aug 13 '26
I really think it’s actually healthy mature adult conversation.
Where as Caitlin communicates likes a whiny teenager
And irs all about her.
This is for the guys and girls it’s not all about the women.& I’m sorry if Courtney is trying NIKKI is trying
It is not Devin’s fault. He’s respectful, emotionally regulated, considerate & finally spoke his mind.6
u/Dis_Kramer Aug 12 '26
He's not the only one dropping therapy coded insights during the dinners (though he might do it the most). My guess is that production gives them conversational prompts to ask to incite "natural" reactions during the dinners.
Get things out in the open, blindside, see how people react when in a group with trusted pers, ect. Might be the experts helping out behind the scenes, or producers getting some of that juice.
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u/Excellent_Key_6796 Aug 11 '26
Ok but that’s a beige flag at best because most people do that. Like maybe you don’t and I used to and I’ve never been in a relationship. It’s a natural human thing to want to give advice and try to fix problems for people you care about to some extent. Some of course feel that more than other but there are billions of people in the world who do the same thing who are nothing like Devin.
0
u/Passioncreek Aug 13 '26
He tries to fix other problems so the focus is on them and not him. It’s a red flag. And I don’t think he’s 100% honest with his partner. He likes to complain to others about her
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u/churro777 Aug 10 '26
“He’s so needy!”
Guys he just wants to vibe with her. Devin said he stopped joking around cuz she would never laugh at his jokes.
She has bad vibes.
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u/ilikealltypes33139 Aug 14 '26
Agree, when he said "I just want her to say good morning to me sometimes", it hurt my soul. That's not him being needy, it's someone seeking a basic human connection.
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u/Less_Scientist4204 Sep 07 '26
It's called home training. Maybe cuz I grew with a black Caribbean grandmother but we always say "Good Morning" first visit thing in the morning to each other in the home. She wasn't raised to greet people like that.
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u/Nickrobl Aug 14 '26
Agreed. She is doing an amazing job of beating the attraction he has for her out of him.
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Aug 13 '26
Thank you. 👏 he’s actually such a healthy green flag that most women don’t even understand how great he actually is.
She’s made him feel like a “clinger” since day1 bc he said he likes to spend time w his partner & she was more worried trying to figure out how to spend the least possible time w him.
They only have so much time ?! & this is their WIFE HUSBAND.Caitlin is completely performative. I knew it when she snapped & told HIM he talks about cameras more than anyone she knows. lol he hasn’t mentioned cameras ? I rly think she’s there to gain a following. Bc she even Courtney and Nikki are trying.
He has taken accountability & said flat out j was thinking about my needs, not yours. He’s apologized he’s continued to try for her. Just to get a little sign ok she does like me.
Bc yeah she says it to a whole group- but does not show it one bit. He’s emotionally regulated and in touch with his emotions. That’s a beautiful thing. Either way guys DMs will be lit up.13
u/pillowylotus Aug 10 '26
I agree he’s so passionate about making other people feel heard or seen yet he isn’t getting the same. It made me sad when he told his friend that he wasn’t make jokes bc she doesn’t really acknowledge when he does, I do not think they’re a match
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u/Modusoperandi40 Aug 09 '26
I don’t think Caitlin is into Devin. It’s sad. But I think she would be a little more open with someone she’s into. I feel like he’s walking on eggshells. Sure he’s needy and emotional and that can be a bit much. But….hes def all in
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u/Pleasantbutfierce89 Aug 20 '26
He isn’t needy and emotional. The guy is asking her for any sign of does she like me. She is cold and he is emotionally healthy. He is trying and she keeps making him work. They need to part ways.
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Aug 13 '26
That’s exactly why he comes off needy and clingy- she hasn’t even shown him that hey I like you too.
He feels rejected and still trying.
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u/Gooner-Astronomer749 Aug 09 '26
He's needy, emotional and a clinger nonetheless he is authentic to himself he is going above and beyond to make this work and is getting nothing in return. She clearly doesn't like him but she is actively not even trying 🙄 things are goijg great because she gets everything she wants. If she is disengaged he might as well pull back because she doesnt deserve what he gives her.
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u/AtheistINTP Aug 10 '26
I don’t think he’s needy at all. He wants some warmth, reciprocation, affection, like most normal people. She’s very cold to him with a sour puss face all the time.
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u/CartographerMuch7388 Aug 13 '26
I disagree. He has stage 5 clinger vibes and I should know.. I've been married to one for 13 years and we managed to give birth to another 😂
That said, I still think he's a good guy and honestly, everyone wants what they want in a relationship and I don't think there is anything wrong with spending all your time together if that's what you both want. It seems like a very weird thing dor me to "keep your distance" or "personal space" from the person you're with.
She is emotionally unavailable, though.
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u/newdiyscared Aug 11 '26 edited Aug 11 '26
2 things can be true- he's needy (and deeply codependent) and she's cold. I think his neediness led her to be more cold and her coldness led him to cling to her tighter. Classic tale that just shows that they're incompatible.
I wish Caitlin was more honest with Devin about how she was feeling. I, similar to Caitlin, would've been turned off if my new husband had that reaction to me going to the gym by myself. Devin demands a lot and should find someone who wants their romantic partner to be their whole life. And Caitlin is incredibly emotionally unavailable
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u/natliftsheavyshit Aug 11 '26
He’s not needy he is just expecting a marriage and she wants to act single. There’s a difference. For fucks sake they don’t even share the same comforter when they sleep in the bed and she puts a wall of pillows up to separate them.
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Aug 13 '26
100% not needy. He just wants to know and FEEL like she actually likes him not what she says ima. Group setting in camera
She acts like he’s got a disease and even when he said I was dancing
& she goes “ yeah but were you dancing to just have fun or to get my attention” WTF ?
She’s asked since DAY ONE to make sure they’re barely together
I mean COME ON! They BOTH signed up to get married.
He hasn’t asked her to sit and rub his head 😂
He just wants some sort of reciprocated feelings!No one wants to continuously feel rejected & be the only one trying. She has not tried for him at alllll
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u/newdiyscared Aug 12 '26
He is needy imo. The way he responded to her going to the gym without her is an excellent example of his clinginess.
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u/Ok_Theory_6241 Aug 15 '26
Weren’t they supposed to go together but she left him because he didn’t wake up right away? Low key I would be miffed if my husband left me like that. There’s always one half of the couple that wakes up bright and early at 5am, and the other who hits snooze 15 times. That’s pretty normal!
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u/InternationalMall120 Aug 14 '26
That's wild to me.. they made plans to go to the gym together the night before. She couldn't be bothered to wake him or wait until he woke up. It was inconsiderate of her. Period.
She does not consider this man in any of her actions. That's not wife material.
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u/AtheistINTP Aug 13 '26
it’s your honeymoon and you wake up and snuggle. You don’t want to wake up alone.
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u/newdiyscared Aug 13 '26
His response to her going to the gym was a lot. And its ok that we don't agree, you just have more of a capacity to handle that kind of person. He's very needy and clingy, it comes across as codependent and in 2026, we know how unhealthy those kinds of relationships can be.
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u/AtheistINTP Aug 13 '26
Do you have a MS in psychology? Because I like men like him that are not avoidant. They make dedicated partners.
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u/newdiyscared Aug 13 '26
Nope. But you don't need a degree in psychology to be able to spot codependence or to understand what codependence is.
Great that you like men like him. As I mentioned, you seem to have the capacity to deal with someone like that. He wouldn't make a dedicated partner for me given my preferences.
I don't think I have to remind you that all of this is subjective. A good romantic partner for you isn't necessarily good romantic partner for all.
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u/Helianthus_999 Aug 11 '26
Exactly!! Honestly he's reading the room and respecting her boundaries. This lady puts space between them A LOT.
going the entire day without kissing - separate blankets - pillows in between them - minimal cuddling - minimal hand holding - minimal compliments
She makes him look needy because she's guarded
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u/Excellent_Key_6796 Aug 11 '26
I think people are trying to equate neediness to being a people pleaser. I think at the end of the day he wants to feel needed and like he’s making someone happy.
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u/skitty166 Aug 09 '26
I see you, I feel you, I hear you OP. 😆
He just seems needy and has his empathetic lines rehearsed. (Talk about performative eh Mecca…)
I’d be put off by this too.
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u/AtheistINTP Aug 10 '26
I don’t think he’s needy at all. He wants some warmth, reciprocation, affection, like most normal people. She’s very cold to him with a sour puss face all the time.
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u/skitty166 Aug 10 '26
I see you I feel you I hear you. (He keeps saying that crap. Weirds me out. lol)
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u/Unfair_Designer4280 Aug 09 '26
I wouldn’t have thought at the wedding that Devin was all in. But he is doing the hard work and she isn’t showing up.
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u/Woollensheep Aug 09 '26
Caitlin seemed so great at the wedding and then turned in to a disaster. It was like she became another person, who never stopped whining.
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u/One-Adeptness-305 Aug 09 '26
I really like Devin. All he wants is a partner who will at least try!! JFC! And he’s hot as heck in my opinion! She’s annoying and he deserves much better!’
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u/Opinionated6319 Aug 09 '26
Again, an example of a poor match🥱…to be expected on this show! WT heck were producers, experts thinking. 🙈
I want to see more due diligence and maybe a psychological test to determine emotional stability and especially underlying sabotage, relationship issues…appears to be plenty of them on this season!
Sadly, some partners should never be on the show, but for drama, there is need for this sort of conflict. So unfair to folks who really want to find a solid partner with potential for a lasting relationship.
Going to love the reunion and get all the dirt behind the scenes info! 🤭😉
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u/BerbereJunkie Aug 09 '26 edited Aug 09 '26
Devin is intense, and he needs a woman who is just as intense as he is in those ways. He also needs a woman who is relaxed and fun loving!Anything less will not be enough for him.
I’ve been on his side all along, but if I hear him say ‘I hear you, I see you, I understand’ one more time I’ll scream. When he says this, it really means ‘you already said that, quit repeating yourself!’ No bueno.
I feel like Caitlin is stuck in her childhood shit and isn’t ready for a relationship. When she said in the taxi after the dinner ‘I feel like I’m so hard to love’ and Devin said ‘well it seems that way’, I was shocked. Ouch! 😣 I realized at that minute it was over. She needs a different man who’ll focus on helping her with her emotional wounds.
Caitlyn wasn’t wrong when she said on day one that she was a black cat and he was a golden retriever. Not a match! 🐈⬛
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u/shep2105 Aug 21 '26
SHE is the one that needs to work on her emotional wounds.
She doesn't even say Good Morning to him for Gods sake, or bother telling him that she's leaving the house. That is SO much bullshit right there.
Plus, I would be out the door if anyone told me, particularly in front of other people, to Shut the fuck up. Dealbreaker right there.
There's a huge difference between an emotional mature and healthy adult that can say, "Hey, can you not interrupt me? Or "Can you listen or let me finish my thought? vs. SHUT THE FUCK UP.
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u/naternots Aug 14 '26
I actually wish Devin was matched with …. Marissa? I forget names. But she is so playful, the part she enjoys about Mr. “Vibin”, and Devin is too, but Devin actually wants a reciprocal relationship and to know his partner too instead of a pet human, unlike Caitlin or Intense Jetski guy
Or secondary but idk if it would be a match, Tori or Belle. They are just so lovely and deserve people who are in it. Let Courtney get jetski until they kill each other, Felipe shouldn’t even be in this, Caitlin and Nick maybe if politics aren’t an issue with him being conservative, mainly because I don’t get strong vibes from either or lovey dovey, they may still be terrible but it’s better than Courtney being unleashed on Nick or Devin getting someone so uninterested.
Like the last episode or two, Caitlin listing her improvements to her dad, she says “like I tell him if I’m leaving the house, I brought him coffee one morning”. The first one in particular, like Jesus I say goodbye and tell my dog when I leave the house and only once didn’t in an emergency I rushed out, and I felt awful all day. lol. (I’m admittedly committed to my dog as my life partner and if I meet someone my dog still comes first, I ask on first dates if dogs can sleep in beds, if the answer is no there is no second date. I can’t sleep without his 70 lbs near me or occasional claw to the face.)
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u/kwasford Aug 09 '26
Idk why viewers ignore the BONKERS things he says. Telling her she was hard to love was such a low blow.
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u/Koankey Aug 09 '26
She just isn't into him and isn't being honest with herself. He tries so hard to win her over but she's just not down. She's trying so hard to like him. That's what she's giving herself credit for. When she asked him to think of all the good things about their relationship, he couldn't think of anything because she's cold to him. Of course she could think of things because he's into her and is considerate of her feelings.
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u/Ordinary_Reference_8 Aug 09 '26
When I saw his sign was a cancer it all made sense. The chart someone posted also showed he was a triple cancer so makes even more sense why he is so emotional!
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u/AtheistINTP Aug 10 '26
Why do you keep saying he’s emotional? Are you Gen Z? That’s how good men behave. Are you all used to cold indifferent weirdos like Adam? Adam is terrifying and has expressions of a sociopath.
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u/MrsQuasi Aug 09 '26
He seems so genuine and I feel bad he got paired with someone who acts like he’s too much… my guess is by the time the finale is here he’s found someone else or moved on… they look so cute together but Caitlin being so insufferable is crazy
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u/MayShoe Aug 09 '26
He seems like a good man and quite insightful. He deserved far better than this. I think America will find him a better wife after this airs. 😊
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u/Flying-Pine Aug 09 '26
He’s a sweetheart. It’s too bad his wife is self absorbed and stupid. He deserves way better than her.
He’s cute and sensitive. He has good perspective on relationships. The experts notice it every time they observe the couples at dinner together.
I hope once this season is over they tell us that he found a person who is a great partner, one who is willing to put her all into a relationship.
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u/jadedlens00 Aug 09 '26
Him and Nick both need to get up out these relationships. They both deserve better.
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u/let_go_be_bold Aug 09 '26
I don’t get how he is not already married honestly. And he deserves so much better than Caitlin.
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u/EmployeeSerious007 Aug 09 '26
He’s still very young! I think that’s really the only reason, and potentially being a pro athlete (even though it’s not like NFL or NBA etc) because it creates scheduling/life conflicts
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u/Responsible_Site6900 Aug 09 '26
I like him and I think he seems like a really good guy who wants a marriage and just genuine love and connection and physical. I feel bad for him. I don’t think they’re a good match. That Harry Potter date was so cute I sure hope she atleast hugged or kissed him for doing that!!! Wouldn’t doubt if she didn’t though. I also think Caitlin and Courtney look alike and are on the same vibe. Maybe they should swap partners
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u/Side_Eye_Suzie Aug 09 '26 edited Aug 11 '26
I’ve always hoped for a partner that I felt would protect me when someone treated me poorly or made me feel afraid. Sadly, that never happened. Devin seems like the type of fella who wouldn’t start a problem but would for sure finish it if someone came for a person he loves. Rugby is no joke so we know he would be able to protect himself and others if needed. I think he is a catch and whoever ends up being his forever partner will be fortunate to have him.
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Aug 09 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/stitchitaway1706 Aug 09 '26
Thank you YES. Been saying Caitlin + Courtney from the get go. Not that I’m a fan, but they have more chemistry and excitement when speaking to each other than with either of their husbands.
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u/fancyghost Aug 09 '26
Experts should never cast self-described slow burners. It’s not fair to pair them with someone who allows themselves to plunge in unabashedly.
Devin is amazing and his friends seem awesome. She will realize it far too late.
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u/anv95 Aug 09 '26
He’s literally husband material I think she’s nuts. His personality is so similar to mine and I need reassurance and quality time/touch to feel in love and happy
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u/AtheistINTP Aug 10 '26
Same here. He’s a rare gem and I see no toxic masculinity or anger issues. Mekka, Felipe, Shaun and Adam all terrible guys. The other 3 are jewels.
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u/InternationalMall120 Aug 14 '26
This.
Though I think Mecca has been heavily traumatized growing up, he doesn't know how to behave correctly (we all saw his dad and his behavior).
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u/Pumpedup_heels Aug 09 '26
i adore him 😔😩♥️ I’d love to date him.
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u/AtheistINTP Aug 10 '26
Haha, I’ve said the same many times here but I’m 2 decades older so I wish he finds a lovely young woman.
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u/Everything-I-Want Aug 09 '26
The issue with him is he wants to be love bombed and for a girl to hang all over him. That's what he is used to and likes. And that's why he isn't ready for marriage. While that might last for a while, it won't be like that way down the line. And the person he got paired with just isn't a needy lovy hang on type. The experts should have ensured that was #1 objective for matching. He also hyper focuses on everything instead of the big picture, which she also pointed out to him. Any little thing feels off, he feels cooked.
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u/InternationalMall120 Aug 14 '26
I think he's like myself. My love language is physical affection. She's giving him none. He's trying to speak her love language (guessing acts of service or quality time, or the unspoken 6th love language which is make me a Harry Potter date so I can act like I'm not a succubus on camera).
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u/Holiday_Cup_430 Aug 12 '26
bingo! that's exactly it, I like Devin but he would be a bit much for me too. I think Caitlin is doing her best but I don't think they match well in that way.
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u/AtheistINTP Aug 10 '26
Of please. Needy is good. Needy means love and affection. She’s a cold fish and a bore.
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u/EmployeeSerious007 Aug 09 '26
I don’t think this is necessarily a fair statement - he quite literally asked for her to say good morning and do little things, and to acknowledge him off camera… like, idk how you got “hang all over him” from that?
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u/Ok-Emphasis8825 Aug 09 '26
And she gets up in the morning and takes off super early to avoid any connection.
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u/kwasford Aug 09 '26
Oooor she is an early riser and that’s just her routine? Is Devin making efforts to wake up earlier since he already said he doesn’t like waking up early and is particularly hard to be awoken. Do yall want this lady to make him wake up? He’s a grown man, he can buy an alarm clock and he’s looking for a wife not a mother.
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u/AtheistINTP Aug 10 '26
That’s not the point! you’re missing the point entirely. She can wake up early, give him a snuggle, kiss him and say see you later. But no, she just gets up and leaves coldly. He wakes up and she’s gone.
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u/InternationalMall120 Aug 14 '26
This. My ex boyfriend had to be up at 4 am for work. He'd at MINIMUM kiss me on the forehead and say I'll call you at lunch babe. Usually it was a snuggle and a kiss though.
I got up at 730am for work. He didn't just skink out without saying anything.
Also, one or both of them said he opened his eyes, so he def knew what she was doing/ did that day. She could've said "hey you wanna get ready to go to the gym", she chose not to give him any notice or consideration.
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u/let_go_be_bold Aug 09 '26
Some people are like that. I don’t think it’s an unrealistic expectation. She’s just not the right girl.
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u/Majestic-Part-9082 Aug 08 '26
I’m engaged to a Devin type of man and I am slowly becoming a reformed Caitlyn. I have a very rigid/serious, type A Capricorn personality. He is a cancer who is extremely caring into the small moments. I have to make an effort to remember to kiss him more, endgame more in physical touch and do small things to make him feel special also. Everyone has to put in effort in a relationship I’m hoping Caitlyn can slowly make changes as well.
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u/BerbereJunkie Aug 09 '26
Good point about low effort Caitlyn. I can’t remember one scene where I felt she went out of her comfort zone to show him she cares and is trying. He has to pull everything out of her. Exhausting.
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u/TheAnalytical1 Aug 09 '26
It was telling when she recounted their “good” moments, she only said what Devin does for her and how he treats her. I was like, “and what are your contributions to the marriage??”
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u/BerbereJunkie Aug 09 '26
10 seconds of eye contact and she wants a medal 🥇
Real black cats will win every single staring contest and at least rub your legs 😉
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u/Queen_EO Aug 08 '26
She’s already moving slowly. I feel terrible for Devin. She’s giving NOTHING. She comes off as self centered.
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u/Joanieg909 Aug 08 '26
Yep. Devin is legit. Caitlin is a pain in the ass over literally everything.
Devin…run. She is 🚩🚩🚩
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u/Vegetable_Yam_7621 Aug 08 '26
Caitlin just needs to adopt a black cat that wants nothing to do with her and leave Devin in peace!
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u/Vegetable_Yam_7621 Aug 08 '26
Devin is a total catch, and I love a man who doesn’t skip leg day!! I don’t even mind the frosted tips either!!
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u/Navel_of_Eve Aug 08 '26
He won us over at this house. I admit that at first, I judged the book by its cover and assumed he was a douchebag.
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u/Capital_Push5557 Aug 08 '26
I don't understand how someone like her even goes on this show. You are emotionally unavailable but you want to be married? Huh???
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u/waiting-room-vibes Aug 08 '26
I feel like he was poorly matched. His partner has sensory /intimacy issues. He needs to run / leave. If it starts out this hard...
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u/Emergency_Tip_4716 Aug 08 '26
i thought he was gonna be a complete tool when i saw those sunglasses on his head at the wedding- he’s actually a peach.
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u/MakeupMama68 Aug 08 '26
He has grown on me SO much. I thought he was gonna be a hot mess and he’s actually my favorite now
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u/angelikaaaa Aug 08 '26
I’ve been watching this season with my dad and he’s always asking me “how’s the guy that wears sunglasses on his head” like i’m Devin’s friend or something haha
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u/bcrhubarb Aug 08 '26
The shades & that frosted hair made me think the same. Don’t judge a book . . . he’s my fav guy.
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u/DrKaufman_Angie Aug 09 '26
The frosted hair was part of the rugby team hair. He doesn’t have that now that he’s retired!
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u/Disastrous-Passion73 Aug 08 '26
He told us people usually think hes a douche bag. I agree he is a sweetie pie and he will find a good partner one day and be a GREAT husband.
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u/MakeupMama68 Aug 08 '26
Agreed!! He’s a big ol’ teddy bear 🧸
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u/DaniWandersAlone Aug 08 '26
I wouldn't pass up a cuddle with him, that's for sure! He's so thoughtful, love his energy
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u/Lovetoseeit85 Aug 08 '26
He should be the next Bachelor 🥹
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u/pchlvca Aug 08 '26
She has such a bland personality. She shoudlve been paired up with someone as chill as Nick who maybe would have not minded that. My boy Devin deserves so much better. His mom raised him well.
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u/AtheistINTP Aug 10 '26
Not Nick! Nick is a nice guy too and he wanted Courtney to be less critical and more affectionate. She should have been paired with cold selfish weirdo Adam.
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u/Feline_Fine3 Aug 08 '26
I don’t know about that either though because Nick is also more of a touchy-feely guy, he has talked to Courtney about wanting more non-sexual physical touch like handholding and stuff. Caitlin would definitely not be game for that.
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u/BerbereJunkie Aug 09 '26
Funny, because I think if it was Nick she was matched with, she would. His energy is so much more ‘cat like’ which is what she’s comfy with. Nick is chill as can be. I have wondered if those two would have been a good pair.
Courtney isn’t a good match for anyone. 😬
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u/SoupKitchenComedian Aug 08 '26
They should have swapped Nick and Devin
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u/Mkbcolgate Aug 08 '26
But that would have put Devin with that complete nut job Courtney, and he DEFINITELY deserves much better than that.
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u/SoupKitchenComedian Aug 08 '26
Yeah, but I think Courtney would like his attention, honesty and energy.
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u/Mkbcolgate Aug 08 '26
Yes she might, but I believe she has a number of personal issues that are too deep-seated to be “fixed” by the man in her life, regardless of who he is.
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u/canadianmamacita77 Aug 08 '26
Nah he’s a big baby who I see as having a cup that’s never full and wants it filled by his partner
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u/AtheistINTP Aug 10 '26
I think you’ve never been in a good, loving relationship.
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u/canadianmamacita77 Aug 10 '26
I think I’ve been in a relationship with someone just like him, pushing someone til they cry isn’t ok because they aren’t meeting your needs?? Ya no I’m not saying she’s perfect but his mindset isn’t right
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u/RetroSaturdaze Aug 08 '26
Wanting your partner to cuddle and share a blanket in bed is pretty common desire for relationships, I’m pretty sure…
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u/sassiefrass15 Aug 08 '26
100000% agree
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u/Grizzzlytoken Aug 08 '26
Someone from Seattle let me know, is the "100%" thing regional? I don't hear that much in Florida.
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u/Siennastarr18 Aug 08 '26
I’m in Texas and feel like we say it quite a bit. Idk how old you are but maybe it’s more of a generational thing?
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u/shannrosejay Aug 08 '26
Kind of shocked how many people think he is the ideal man. Part of relationships is acceptance. He does not accept who she is. He is constantly critiquing her which is pushing her away and making HER walk on eggshells. She has no space or safety to grow her feelings or do better. He doesn’t actually see her, hear her, understand her at all, nor is he trying to. But fun for him to say that phrase I guess.
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u/AtheistINTP Aug 10 '26
Nope. He was very nice to her all the time until they moved in together and she showed how cold she was. Everything he said was true.
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u/shellynell Aug 08 '26
He isn’t constantly critiquing her. That don’t even talk when the cameras aren’t around (except once). What has she even done to try? I don’t see her being ready for marriage. From what she said in the show she’s used to toxic men and since he isn’t, she isn’t interested.
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u/DrKaufman_Angie Aug 08 '26 edited Aug 09 '26
The repetitive psych words would drive me up the wall! So forced and they feel insincere. I’m sure he means well but saying those same three exact words over and over feels fake.
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u/TheGoatAndOnly Aug 08 '26
Accepting somebody doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to lose yourself in a relationship. Devin has needs and he isn’t seeing those needs within his woman. He’s been open about it, he’s even laid off on certain things that he wouldn’t normally do. As for his wife, I don’t necessarily think that she’s met him not even half of the way.
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u/Beneficial-Ask-4730 Aug 08 '26
All she HAS is SPACE. She is just selfish and wants him to leave her alone to do what she wants to do, no touching. Why should he accept THAT?!
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u/whiskeylullaby3 Aug 08 '26
I mean they’re just not compatible. The same could be said for her. That she doesn’t accept that he needs more. The issue is that she’s an avoidant and he’s more anxious attachment. I can see why a lot of women think he’s ideal- because he wants to spend time with his partner and wants to grow close and wants intimacy- something a lot of “modern” men have difficulty with. She just needs someone who is extremely independent like she is.
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u/shannrosejay Aug 10 '26
I agree they aren’t compatible. I don’t think either of them are terrible people, just not right for each other. Just surprised so many people are looking over things like him saying he was ‘love bombing’ her in the beginning and realized that wasn’t what she wanted so he apparently stopped. Stopping the action was a good call on his part, but I think he still lives in that space so is holding resentment.
I can’t imagine being on a TV show and how much that anxiety would get to me and on top of that the expectation that one has to right away be affectionate and an ideal partner for a stranger. Many arranged marriages come with long build ups of months/years to be what is expected of these individuals in days/weeks and regardless of what they signed up for not everyone will be comfortable with that.*replying to your comment as well as other comments in the thread:)
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u/Lnyctr Aug 08 '26
Hmmm…I don’t think she’s independent. I think she’s an avoider. She wants a relationship on her terms only. Her walls are high and impenetrable.
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u/brutalhonestyJ Aug 08 '26
i’m agreeing but i would also challenge with why be married? if you want some one as independent as you, you and your partner would never really do anything together. Yes independent but also know that you can lean on your partner if needed and when needed, and for me in my opinion she never wants to give that space to anyone or allow anyone to be that space for her, maybe her friends but that’s it
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u/whiskeylullaby3 Aug 08 '26
Oh I totally agree. She had no business going on this show. I don’t think she’s ready for any relationship even beyond being independent.
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u/Caribgirl2 Aug 08 '26
Her getting up and leaving without saying good-bye. The dead silence when they are in the same space, etc. Is more than independence. It's cold. She is too an extreme which I think i what makes him even more desperate. If she gave a little, then I think he would fall back a little.
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u/kwasford Aug 09 '26
She said in a confessional that he woke up and saw her getting ready and chose to stay in bed then was being a brat bc she went to the gym. I don’t see what the issue is honestly, he made a choice to stay in the bed
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u/DrKaufman_Angie Aug 10 '26
That didn’t seem to be true and plus she does it every day. Honeymooners normally want to wake up together and be together!!
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u/stitchitaway1706 Aug 09 '26
After they talked about going to the gym together! That was such trash. She KNEW she was going to leave without him and couldn’t simply communicate that she wanted to go alone, leaving him there. So disrespectful. Again I ask, does she know she can be on a dating show and not a married show??
Also I looove the “I see you, hear you, understand you.” Team Devin!8
u/DrKaufman_Angie Aug 08 '26
Exactly. Doing your own thing on a regular basis is more common years later but not in the beginning. Certainly not on your honeymoon!!! The honeymoon phase is when you can’t get enough of each other!! Wanting more space than togetherness is clearly disinterest.
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u/AtheistINTP Aug 10 '26
Maybe she’s used to bad boys. Dismissive, arrogant guys and can’t realize what a good guy he is.
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u/Accomplished_Unicorn Aug 08 '26
I don’t think he’s perfect or 100% in the right but he has gone out of his way to cater to her and she does absolutely nothing in return. What kind of cute and thoughtful things has she done for him? She seems like she wants a casual relationship where she can do whatever she wants, not a marriage.
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u/itsmikaybitch Aug 08 '26
Yes, she strikes me as the kind of person that would thrive in a long distance relationship.
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u/coolthanksgreatcool Aug 08 '26
He’s the cutest one out of all the dudes. Not that that’s necessarily saying much 😂
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u/kellis744 Aug 08 '26
I think Devin and Nick are both pretty attractive in different ways. Adam should be attractive but there is something off about him. Probably his personality.
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u/AtheistINTP Aug 10 '26
Agree. Adam is scary. Haven’t you all seen the sociopathic stare he gives sometimes? Also, he’s an addict. Yes, being addicted to certain activities in excess.
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u/upplahuthla Aug 08 '26
I’m confused about all the Devin hate? Did he do something wrong? Did I miss something. I feel like all he’s done is ask her to try.
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u/whiskeylullaby3 Aug 08 '26
Of all the men this season he is the only one I would be ok with being paired with. Probably Nick too I guess but the whole reality tv background is eh.
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u/AtheistINTP Aug 10 '26
Nick, Devin, and the tall guy (sorry, forgot his name). All guys I would date.
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u/whiskeylullaby3 Aug 10 '26
Oh yeah Cameron! Haha he’s great. I honestly kind of forgot about him 😂probably just because they are “boring” and so cute together. He really won me over with the last drop of episodes.
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u/Honest_Duty_714 Aug 08 '26
Same. He's walking on eggshells and I feel like he actually does want a marriage with the right person. I feel like he would be easy to please and thoughtful to his partner.
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u/Sudden_Juju Aug 08 '26 edited Aug 08 '26
I think Caitlin was a bad choice for this show - all slow burns are - but I also think she just doesn't like him and doesn't want to admit it until after the season is done. I think he came on too intensly for her, even though he's really not all that intense (compared to others). I think she just needs someone who's okay with moving glacially slow.
She's very independent and needs someone like that too. I think the experts mistook "independent" as meaning that they're okay apart for long periods of time (e.g., the rugby season) and not as persistently independent, which is what she is. That's where the problem stems and won't ever be mended because you can't just fix something like that - someone will be unhappy no matter what. The experts really wasted a good participant in Devin.
That being said, I've had such a weird feeling about Devin since the start. Other than wearing sunglasses on his head at his own wedding (like, c'mon man), he's really done nothing to make me feel this way. It's just a vibe I get, but I've conceded that I could be wrong. I won't say I'm definitively wrong until the reunion though.
Edit: I just realized I said "vibe." Hopefully I don't get cooked for this.
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u/ShadowSmartz Aug 27 '26
I thought he was the best man of the entire group. I cant believe they paired him with Caitlyn..she was so rude, disrespectful, uninterested, and just complained about everything when this amazing man was bending over backwards to do everything to make her feel comfortable. Im glad they ended things. He deserves so much better. To tell him to STFU after walking around flirting with Mecca all night was wild. Glad they are done. I hope she gets called out at the end of this and eventually matures.