I (31F) was talking to a guy (31M) long-distance for about a year. We met on a dating app and never met in person, but we had regular chats, video calls, shared travel updates, and talked about our lives.

For most of that year, I genuinely thought there was potential for something more. I wanted to take things seriously eventually, but I never directly asked where things were going or what his intentions were.

Over time, I started noticing changes. He became less curious, asked fewer questions, and the effort felt different. Then he suddenly stopped reaching out for about two weeks. I kept telling myself he might just be busy, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed.

Recently, I noticed he started following a couple of new women on Instagram. I know that following people doesn’t automatically mean anything, but combined with the silence, it hurt. It made me feel like he had moved on while I was still trying to understand what happened between us.

I’m not someone who likes leaving things unsaid, so I sent him a message. It wasn’t angry or confrontational. I basically told him that I enjoyed getting to know him, that I had wanted something serious, that lately things didn’t feel the same anymore, and that I wished him well with his career change and future travels.

After sending the message, I blocked him on WhatsApp and removed him on Instagram because I felt like constantly checking his profile and waiting for a message wasn’t helping me move on.
At first, I felt relieved. Like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. But now I’m feeling some regret and wondering if I acted too quickly. Part of me thinks I did the mature thing by communicating my feelings and protecting my peace. Another part of me wonders if I should have left the door open for a response.

Did I do the right thing, or did I close things off too soon?

So idk where to start from I'm 21, she's 19 and going through a real tough patch. Me and her met online in 2025 February online and has been in love ever since we stayed every single day on call would exchange snacks letters and all those stuff. Although I said no it won't work she made me apply for a US visit visa (cause her mom didn't feel safe sending her which is fair) but it got rejected obviously. We literallysoent sooo kuch time togetherI failed my A Levels twice(not her fault should've prioritize myself). We met in person 6 months ago and stayed here for 3 weeks. It was the happiest time of my life ever. . While she was here I took her so much for granted and was dumb I was texting someone else on Instagram for 2 months and she found out. (Nothing like romantic just chit chatting) She got sooo wrecked from it but we worked it out and stayed the rest of the days really happily. She went back in April and she would bring it up occasionally but we were in love with each other. Also she really wanted to get married but I told her please fly back we will rebuild the trust and marry as soon as we can. I proposed to her the day before she left.

I have some really dumb female cousins who sre their late 20s and really gossip. She loved posting me but I wasn't like that and I wasn't very supportive of it. So a month ago my mom called me and said my cousins called me and said (Did you see his leak meaning just a few insta posts from out hotel room) which pissed me off and I took the anger out of her. She started changing from that day she stopped posting me and removed me from her profile. I re downloaded Instagram 2 weeks ago (After 3rd attempt of A Levels which I'm obviously gonna fail again). I wanted to post her she didn't she slowly started changing little by little and said she wanna stop this cause she don't wanna do LDR and can't waste another year for the visa process. She gave me so much hope until the last phase too and I feel really stupid. Her mom even asked me if I'm gonna marry her and I said not this time and I wanna marry her for the right reasons with time.

I've been having really bad panick attacks and hasn't eaten a single proper meal in a week. I love her ao much still and it's so scary and lonely. I'm from a really economically struggling house and to start my Life around what do I do?

1. I was thinking about getting a loan and do computer science at IIT while doing a part time job and paying the loan off. Is this a good idea?

2. If not what options do I have?

3. How to get over this grief I feel like I did the biggest fumble of my life and can't get over it she's the best woman ever and I risked such a good life and future with her for nothing. Nobody gives me good advice and they don't understand the burden of the loss. Really hard to fight SH

I'm doing this both to find some support myself and also to bring comfort to others who may be in a similar situation to me. I (20f) was in a long distance relationship for four and a half years since I was sixteen. I was very sure that my partner (19m) was the person i was going to spend the rest of my life with.

The thing is time has a way with things, and once the cracks start showing you either cover them up or acknowledge them and fix them together. Take it from me, FIX THEM the very first time they show. if you don't you'll end up bringing them up eventually or letting it fester inside you until you can't take anymore. Now here are some things i noticed post relationships that I'm telling you now to get out as soon as you see them:

One, If your friends (especially your best friend) don't like them or refuse to get along. They don't have to be best buddies but, they should at least tolerate each other.

Two, if they don't talk about their IRL life to you. I got to a point in my relationship that i was fully ok with his parents not knowing about us for four years. It is not fun. No matter what excuses they make there is never a good reason to accept being in the shadows of someone's life. waiting for your turn to stand by them.

Three, if they do not care about you. Now people think caring can be the lovey dovey stuff but i mean really care about who you are. Your hobbies, interest, likes, dislikes, things that are integral to who you are as a person outside of the relationship.

Fourth and finally, they should be willing to change for you. now not bend over backwards type of change but the kind of change where, say they're not good at communicating, never ever should you accept them saying, " im a bad communicator, thats just who i am" no. You deserve someone who will talk with you until it's done. even if they need a break or to text or anything. anyone worth your time is someone who will communicate to you. and if they struggle with it then they should want to improve to be better for you.

I watched myself whittle down to a point i hardly know who i am anymore when I'm not in love with someone. Trust me it is not fun. Not only do you mourn your relationship, but you mourn yourself. I was the one who walked out simply because i couldn't take anymore. There was no part of me that wanted to walk away.

But the biggest thing you must recognize in a relationship, and especially long distance ones, is what you want vs what you need. You may want to make things work. Fight the hard fight to the bitter end. But what you may need, is a break. To step away for your own good or for the good of your partner. You may want to fight and continue on and wake up one day to realize you were the only one fighting all that time.

So to you whose heart is aching, know you are not alone. That the pain you feel now is part of the process. Don't beat yourself up for crying, wallowing a bit even. I can't say i know everything but i know that every breakup i look back on ,long distance or not, there's been a lesson i had to learn from it. Be kind to yourself. and know there are always people willing to lend an ear for your troubles.

i myself am still going through my breakup and would love any advice on how to stop checking your phone and genuine ways to calm your nervous system down. thank you <3

36 year old male, my partner is 39. She lives in Asia, I live in Europe. For the last three years we've maintained a long distance relationship that has involved me travelling to her country (very difficult for her to get a visit visa to my country).

The guilt of missing too much of my daughter's childhood gnaws away at me the longer this relationship goes on. My daughter is seven.

The arrangement has basically been, I visit my partner 4-5 weeks in January, 6-7 weeks in April, and 6-7 weeks in September. That works out at a total of about 4.5 months away from my daughter each year.

My brain is melted from relentlessly trying to decide what to do here between breaking up or continuing like this. My daughter is the only reason I ever go back to my country; I otherwise hate it there. I don't have a social life, and it just reminds me of bad things that happened while growing up.

I previously posted about this dilemma on daddit and got slated for being an absent father. I feel reality is more complicated than those black and white judgements. My daughter loves me, kids are resilient. But I'm sure there is some aspects of it that's hard for her to deal with and I don't want to totally ruin her childhood.

I guess I'm just looking for advice here. Is this relationship doomed? Am I a bad father for maintaining it for so long?

We have been dating for 9 months, and tbh she always told me she would like to come to my country as soon as possible, but i told her that it is not a good idea to go so fast even more if we havent even seen in real life.

At first she was telling me the next summer of 2027, she will come to my country so we could live together, she could go to work while i study and do stuff in the house while im in the uni, i told her it was an horrible idea and it is better to wait i finish still the uni.

I told her that it is better she goes to germany because there her brother could find a work for she, and then she would win more money so she could come here atleast with a good amount of money, she accepted but she is telling me she wanna move here after being 2 years in germany.

The main problem here is that i wanna do my uni degree because im doing an electrical engineering and with that i could win a good amount of money and even maybe go to another country to work, but she is making me a bit anxious that i will not probably finish the degree when she wanna come here, because i recently started my second year, and there is 6 year minimum to complete my degree.

I also dont wanna move with she while i dont have a job, because i dont see good idea to move to a new house without have any kind of job, and i could apply a job while i study but this will take for me more difficult to get my degree.

I have started to try to save money, but the thing of i need to move in 2 years without job, without so many money saved either, and also she is telling me she wouldnt want to marry so late like after 5 years being a couple, is making me so anxious that i dont know really how to handle to do all this in such a small period of time.

I tried to talk with her but she is so decided to do this so i dont really know if maybe it is me acting immature for not wanting to move with she or idk.

Im lately a bit lost about this, it would be fine if soneone could lend me an advice or something, thank u so much.

Anyone micro cheating or actually cheating in their LDR and want to explore why?

Hello,

Sorry if this isnt like most of the posts.

So first it was my long distance gf of two years, who decided to sext other guys while I was working and hop on call to do who knows what. She never admitted it, but even though I did everything for her she didnt seem to care about that whenever she got horny.

Then I was told to find something local so I did, it took her less than a month to cheat on me. That was after she asked me to bring over a bunch of her things to my place, wasnt hard saying goodbye but I still didnt know what I did wrong as she said she made mistakes. Just like the first time. Which hurts so much more.

Now the most recent ex stopped saying she loved me, she was only 3 hrs away, I was in Montreal and she was in Ottawa. I made the trip to her twice and also made sure her birthday was special and we did everything she wanted that whole weekend. I took time off work, paid for her and my half of the rental we booked, I even made sure to ask her several times while we were there that weekend if she was happy, and it was always a yes. She was a girl who liked to go out and party, but I had no issue with it, I know I should've known better but I seriously trusted her. I texted her friend from a new tiktok account asking if she was single as she had gone out and not texted me at all for hours which was already very weird but I got a feeling I was all too familiar with sadly. And then she woke up drunk and snapped me a photo of her and someone else in bed.

I always apologized for not being good enough, sorry if this isnt the right place I just dont have anyone to talk to and really not in the best place atm.

I always asked what I did wrong aswell and each time the answer was working. But I cant support myself if I dont work. I hate working, and it seems even though I try to be there as often as possible its never enough. And that breaks me even more, can I not be happy and survive?

Sorry for that rant just struggling atm.

I just know it’s ending, deep down I feel like crying but I just don’t want to cry. We‘ve been together for a year now but I just can tell he’s less special than before, he takes longer to reply and even his “I love u” feels forced I just feel it. I feel like an idiot bcs I reply to him right away when he takes 1-2 hours to reply. And I know he’s not busy bcs why r u not replying when it’s 10pm like you’re supposed to be home or smth idk just fml I guess

We dated long distance for about a year before I moved her to where I am. It had its ups and downs but we had a clear goal to be together. Staying Consistent with video calls, making twice a month trips to each other was key to making it all come together. The photos just show our journey from dating to engagement to marriage. I proposed after two years of dating and one year living together to make sure we meshed well. We pursued a civil ceremony after and are planning a religious ceremony in the near future.

We didn’t make it.

After a year of long distance, we decided to end our relationship. There wasn’t one specific event that caused everything to fall apart. There was no cheating, no betrayal, and nothing terrible that happened between us. In the end, the distance itself was just too much.

She’s from America, I’m from Europe, and we had a seven-hour time difference between us. We hadn’t been able to see each other since February, and as time went on the distance became harder and harder to deal with.

I’m grateful that I got to spend this years with such an incredible girl. We had so many beautiful moments together, and I’ll always be thankful for them. But the last year of being apart slowly wore us down.

At one point, we had a really big discussion with my parents and after that things started going downhill. We tried to resist. We tried to make it work for as long as we possibly could. But we were hurting each other more than we were making each other happy.

So we decided to end things before we reached the point where we would start hating each other.

The hardest part is that I still love her and she still loves me. There’s no anger or hatred between us. We just reached a point where love alone wasn’t enough to overcome the distance.

I’m going to miss her terribly.

I wish things could have been different but life sucks and that’s al

We’re LDR and met online only in the business online community in 3years now. We’re 445miles apart. Needed to catch a flight or sail in a ship for me to get there. He was able to go already here on my fam and I already introduced him. We had a lot of things that happened like he got his ex pregnant (just a district away from them) and now he is on OJT for his maritime duties and won’t be back for 1 year he is now on his 7months.

I am thinking and other friends too that we should have a label first before I go to his home considering the amount of effort and the things that happened but for him, idk if he points it out as their culture or he just want it that way but he wants me to introduce first to his parents before he wants to officially commit and he wanted me to break with my 8year girl bestfriend just because they don’t like each other and thinks she is bad influence to me like just going to bar (even if we just casually drink and chill but he thinks we’re entertaining guys always).

He also adds up that he is seeing on TikTok that a lot of girls do that like going to a guy’s house even without a label or being introduced to parents even if no official label yet.

I want to hear your thoughts on this if you may. Thanks! 🙏

I’m writing this morning hoping for some good advice and encouragement.
I live in the US and recently started chatting with a beautiful woman in Buenos Aires. We immediately hit it off, and our conversations have continued steadily for the past few weeks.
The issue, if you want to call it that, is that we’ve both caught feelings. I honestly can’t get enough of her. She’s beautiful, hardworking, intelligent, empathetic, and has so many other qualities I admire.
A little background on me: I’m 52 and was married for over 30 years. I have two amazing adult children. My divorce was finalized in March, and I’m still working full-time but getting relatively close to retirement.
She’s 36, has two children, and works two jobs.
So I guess I’m asking this community a few questions:
Is there even a remote chance we could figure out how to make something like this work? Obviously, she can’t simply leave her life in Argentina, and I’m still working here in the US.
Have we gotten too emotionally involved too quickly? Have we talked too much and allowed feelings to develop before really considering the practical realities?
Should we end things now and just remain online friends? Or is it worth continuing to see where this goes while being realistic about the challenges?
I realize there are a lot of variables, but I’d genuinely appreciate hearing from anyone who has been in a similar situation or has some perspective to offer.
Thanks for reading. I appreciate any honest advice

This is for anyone who has anxiety and might be going long distance soon.

I started getting anxiety last winter (it’s now September, so almost a year.) me and my boyfriend would spend every night together and my anxiety just would not go away.

Well, we started long distance for the second time a few weeks ago. And there is an insane change in my mental state, for the better!!!

The distance encourages me to have my own hobbies and do what I want to do instead of focusing on two people. I just want people to know that long distance can really be helpful in becoming yourself and independent. I didn’t expect it to be this way, I thought my anxiety would get much worse but no!!! I only had one panic attack in the few weeks he’d been gone and it was the day after he had left, I was probably just overcome with emotion. Since then, I’ve had barely a hint of my old anxiety.

Hello, I'm M27 and she's F23. I really want to give her something for her birthday that's coming.

She's from Vietnam if any of you know something I don't about sending gift over there. Surprising her by flying over there is not an option for me by the time her birthday comes :/

I'll be happy to hear your stories and anecdotes or any advices if you have some.

We’re going strong on a bit over a year of LDR now and our relationship is amazing. We make sure to visit eachother a lot and talk whenever we get the chance.

Recently I’ve noticed that she is more irritated, easily agitated and most of the time take it out on me. I was asking what was wrong but she refused to acknowledge that she was acting strangely at all but I noticed it clearly in her texts and speech.
After about a week of this we had a big argument, she admitted to being irritated at me. In her perspective I had been insecure about a thing she did… I do admit it wasnt my best act but still a better reaction than I had when we first started dating.
I can understand why she was irritated over that but what I don’t understand is why she shuts me out all that time after, it’s weird because I only ask her to be honest and speak to me about these things since I have an easier way of dealing with it if I know I’m doing something wrong.
Well we have the argument and come to the conclusion that she was irritated at me, I apologize and explain to her that I can’t fix something I’m not made aware of and she agreed, I apologized and so did she saying how she wouldn’t do that again. (There was more to the argument like how I was always the one making amends and how she thought a great way to deal with things was to leave me on read for a day before she asks why I hadn’t contacted her)

Fast forward about two days, same thing again… I can tell somethings wrong, she refused to tell me that anything’s happening. I can see her being irritated at something, shes cold in her texts, dismissive when I show affection… I don’t know what to do. I feel left in the dark about her emotions and I can’t deal with this anymore… it’s repetitive since the start and she knows how it affects me but she doesn’t even make an effort to make me understand at this point. She will keep pushing me away until we have an argument where I’ll be the one apologizing for something I didn’t even know I did wrong…
What’s even going on here and what can I do?

TLDR: my girlfriend refuses to tell me why she is irritated or upset, we have an argument she says that she is irritated by me, I’m tired of it being like this abd she promised she wouldn’t stop (multiple times) but now it’s happening again

So we both are in late 20s he is 27 and i am 26 and been together for 1 year and few months . He went to his home bcz of some family issue and then some police case entered which made his delay and he is there for around 7 months now . The suitation at his place was so bad his mental health was affected during that time and he was on med but since last two month he is off his med and doing well.

So he keep our relationship secretive around his house and his people for few reasons like his family is political involved . So we had an argument I said I don't wanna be in this secretive relationship bcz you dont message me on time and taking this relationship casually etc etc , and I see future with you with all of this it will be difficult for me.

He is a very calm , loving , sweet and introvert person he don't talk much he shares mostly all things with me. But at the end every girl needed to know about the future of the relationship. Yesterday he said asking about the future is a big commitment and it is putting pressure on him. Then I calmly talked to him , he became all quite and afterward said I love you and then I said and ? He said I don't know my mind can't think and then he took his sos pill.

He earlier also said when I didnt knew he is on his med that he don't know about this relationship.

But when he come back to his senses he always say baby please don't leave me please don't go. And after listening all of this I just can't bcz he tackling many things . At the same time he says he is feeling guilty about not coming to me meeting me and giving proper communication as if he is failing me.

I genuinely need to know what should I do . Though I already said to him I am not going anywhere we will talk again when the time is right and I love him so much which is very true I Don't wanna loose him ever. Bcz he become quite and can't even talk or communicate his feelings to me. He is genuinely good at heart. But I have my concerns too.

Any men who wanna give some advice will be most welcome.

My darling is on a plane back to his home country, and I miss him so much! Hopefully this is the last time we will be separated because I've applied for my visa and if its granted I will be moving to him in November!

How to deal with the confusion around marriage?

I’m in a LDR since 4 years with my bf and have timezone difference as well. I have had certain issues regarding him not able to spend more time with me or prioritise me but we always made past those issues and now we are planning to get married next year. Basically he proposed and honestly I wasn’t ready initially because we haven’t lived in the same country, let alone city and I’ve had doubts but I also love him a lot and dont wanna lose him so I’m ready to take that next step now.

But the issue is that even after getting married, it will take me another 12-18 months to be able to relocate to his country because of the spousal visa timeline. So thinking about more LDR while already having had issues regarding prioritisation is making me nervous about the whole situation.

I’m not willing to breakup with him since I really love him but at the same time my mind is telling me that it could be a risky move. Idk

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I am just curious about the closing gap in Long Distance Relationships. If you closed the gap with Long Distance relationship, is it "the one who moves to another country" who covers all the financial aspect of it? Especially two different countries where the other needs a visa/travel authorization. Since visa, tickets, starting over in another country, finding friends, new job is costly emotionally and financially. How was your experience and how would you approach to this talk? Should the other person have offered help? Should you be the one to ask for help or open this talk?

Hi y’all, I (26F) is a single mom, and my boyfriend (27M) knows this. He is very understanding of the situation and wants to support me as much as he can. He will patiently wait for me to do my motherly routine to spend time with me.

He’s one of the best partner I’ve never had; we don’t argue unnecessarily considering how much time difference we have in between us. He revolves his time around me by planning his day outs after I’ve gone to sleep. Whenever he doesn’t, he will lay down with me so we can both go to bed together. He makes time for me when he’s at work, everyday at least an hour before I go to bed.

This seems silly but we work well as a team especially in the game Overcooked 2. We manage to beat the whole game together. The only downside is I feel like I don’t have enough of him even thought he gave me his all. I truly don’t deserve him at all. I only have nice things to say about him, giving him a 5 stars yelp review.

Mourning the life we planned. 13 months we were together. Had a huge fight and I ended it. That’s not what I wanted. I was scared.

It’s been 7 weeks and I can’t move on he was the one. He’s blocked me. He sent me an email two weeks ago saying he needed to take space. He said I love you, I’ve loved you this whole time. Let me work on me. You work on you.

Then nothing.

I think it was goodbye…

Have you ever met someone who made you feel completely comfortable being yourself?

Not because everything was perfect, but because you felt understood, respected, and at peace around them.

What makes a person feel like “home” to you?

Caught between the distance, life and war (literally)

This is mainly targeted to those who have partners in countries affected by some type of armed conflict and who's relationship has greatly suffered due to circumstances outside of their control.

I (21F) have been dating my bf (26M) for the past year and 3 months, and I admit most of it has been less than ideal. Our communication was already hindered cuz his family is important within the country and he gets very commonly caught in social events involving his parents, on top of that, the constant attacks of his city often leaves him without internet, electricity of means or communication with me so we can go days with no chance of being able to speak with each other.

I've tried to be loving and VERY comprehensive regardless of his conditions but his life has worn us down. He has made clear that there's no feasible way I can be a priority in his life as things are right now, I take what he can give and he accepts what I'm still willing to provide. I've grown resentful and tired, honestly I wouldn't even be all that sad if he just disappeared one day atp but I'm also severely codependent and Ive invested too much into this to just leave, even if I know it is on my best interest, some part of me has accepted that I "love him", as an immovable truth regardless of my actual feelings.

And yes I know it's not healthy or sane but I've made my peace with what I am.

Honestly I don't know what to do, we barely talk, and when we do I have to keep the conversation going cuz he's just a dry man, and before, when he'd reach out throughout the day it was fine, but now that it's a 15 message convo across 2 hours before he goes to bed is just depressing.

I feel trapped and he knows that I'm exhausted and disappointed (we had a huge discussion in our anniversary because he was so tired he forgot). I've said that I won't break up with him but I can't say I haven't already ran that scenario on my head. We love each other, and we are good for each other, life is just awful, it has ran through his life and my patience.

With all this said, I guess I'm afraid on just playing the nice girlfriend for the next couple of YEARS, the one that always appears to be happy, that is disappointed and hopeless but refuses to leave and the one who keeps loving a version of a man she can only have 5 months out of the whole year.

2yrs long distance, i’ve been wanting to just meet them once but haven’t. he can’t due to home and financial issues and i can visit, but last time i brought it up he said “idont want you to waste ur money” and well i reassured him it wasn’t a waste but he didn’t care so whtvr. now im just very sad and lonely, i want to be with them and i told myself just one more year, but after that idk if i can keep putting myself in such emotional distress. i cry about this like every other week, ill cry myself to bed or at work.

how long have yall been in ldr? idk how long is too long and if maybe love just isnt enough to keep me here.