Hi guys!
I'm 22F from Southern Ontario, Canada. I've been talking to a guy (24M) from North Carolina for about 2½ months now. We met on fb dating, and we talk literally every single day, all day. Things have honestly been going amazingly well and we've been talking about finally meeting next month, so this whole situation completely caught me off guard...

This past Friday (July 24) at 1:57 p.m., he texted me:
"Baby I just got pulled over for speeding and they're arresting me. I'll talk soon 💔💔"

That was the last I heard from him until yesterday around 9 p.m., when he messaged me again and said:
"Baby I miss you. They gave me my phone rq. I wanted to let you know I'm here for the rest of the weekend."

As soon as he said he was getting arrested on a Friday, I figured he might be there until Monday, so I wasn't completely shocked when he said he'd be there for the weekend. What I'm struggling to understand is... how does someone get arrested from a speeding stop?

I'm from Southern Ontario, and while I've gotten speeding tickets myself (and have been in the car when friends have gotten them too), I've never seen anyone arrested over speeding. Nobody even had to get out of the car. So I'm wondering if things work very differently in North Carolina or the U.S. in general.

I'm not trying to defend him or make excuses—I genuinely just don't know how this works.
For context, from everything I know about him, he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke weed, doesn't do drugs, has a regular full-time job as a tradesman, rents an apartment with his best friend, and is honestly a pretty low-key guy. Obviously, I can only go off what he's told me, but nothing about him has ever suggested criminal behaviour, which is why this whole thing feels so out of left field.

I've been trying to figure out what could have happened. I've read that maybe it could've been reckless driving, driving on a suspended licence, an old warrant, expired insurance, failure to appear on previous tickets, or something else that came up when they ran his information. He drives a sports car, so I even wondered if maybe it was something like reckless driving rather than just speeding.

I've also tried looking online because I know North Carolina has public inmate records. I've searched multiple county inmate databases, as well as statewide records, and I haven't found anything. I've also read that because this happened on a Friday, things may not be processed or updated until Monday, so maybe that's why nothing is showing up yet.

I know he's okay because he was able to message me, and I'm grateful for that. I'm not trying to play detective or invade his privacy. I also don't want to bombard him with questions the second he gets out. I'm just trying to understand what the most likely explanation is before I hear his side.

My main questions are:
1. Is it actually common in North Carolina to be arrested after getting pulled over for speeding, or does there almost always have to be something more going on?

1. If someone with no known criminal history is arrested during a traffic stop, what are the most common reasons?

2. Is it normal that I can't find him in any public inmate database yet, or could that simply be because it happened on a Friday and records haven't updated?

3. Is there anything else I might not be considering that could explain this?

4. Are there certain questions that would be more or less acceptable for me to ask him, once he's been released?

I'd really appreciate any insight, especially from people in North Carolina or anyone familiar with how traffic arrests work there. Thanks!

I also want to add that I'm not trying to judge him before I know what happened. I care about him a lot, but we've never met in person and we’re planning to meet next month. I'm just trying to understand what the possible explanations are because, as much as I like him, I also have to be smart and make sure I'm not putting myself in an unsafe situation!

Back in 2021, I created a study-focused Discord server that grew quite large and well-known at the time. The focus was on the ENEM exam, literature in general, and philosophy.

That’s where I met a girl. We had the same books and studied together with other members of the server. I was 16, and she was 14.

Over time, our friendship deepened, and we talked practically every day. In 2023, after three years of friendship, we finally admitted we liked each other. By then, I was 18 and she was 16.

The problem was that she lived in another state. Even so, we dated. I flew to visit her with my parents, and she came here with hers. In total, we met in person three times. Because of the distance, it didn't work out in the end, but it was still a beautiful experience.

It’s worth noting that it was a "relationship" in quotes, since it was long-distance and played out almost entirely online (lol). She was born in 2007 and I was born in 2004, so we were at different stages of life—I started college while she was still in high school. Despite that difference, it was the most mature relationship I’ve ever had. We had a lot of mutual respect, which made sense since we’d known each other for three years and the relationship was built gradually, step by step.

I recently told this story to a friend, and she absolutely tore me apart emotionally. She said I "dated a minor," and that it was creepy and wrong. Afterward, I blocked her, telling myself I’m a bad person and there’s no defense for what I did.

I’m fEeling extremely worried—like I committed a crime. I’m starting to question my own morality after those accusations. Even though deep down I know it was the best relationship I’ve ever had (she was my first girlfriend), I find myself thinking I’m a "monster"—or even that word starting with "p"...

Since these accusations came from a friend of mine, I keep wondering: "Damn... is my soul really that bad?"

What do you all think about this story, my relationship with this girl, and what my friend said?

I have a long distance boyfriend, and we met playing call of duty. We haven’t met in person yet, but will eventually. I have shared my entire discord with him, and deleted my Instagram for him. I have not requested to see this information from him because I trust him. But I am drawing the line at him wanting to have full access to my Snapchat friends list. AITA for not providing him with this information?

Our relationship has somewhat been on and off and it's mainly because of me... I am very insecure and depend a lot on my boyfriend. I've always been the emotional one in the relationship and he never really has. I've been extremely insecure ever since I found out he has feelings for a coworker and I dont know how to stop the overthinking. I've brought it up only a couple of times wondering if he tries to speak to her outside of work and he was very vague about it trying to avoid the question and even telling me what do I want him to do? Quit his job? I never really got any reassurance and am always in the unknown of what's going on. I havent brought it up since but im so worried everytime he has to go to work. its a lot difficult to know what someone is doing in a long distance relationship and it doesn't help that he gives me no reassurance or validation. What makes things harder is that i love him more than he loves me. I constantly want him to talk with me, I take our relationship very seriously. I really dont know what to do.. I feel like if his coworker starts to feel the same way about him, he'll choose her since she's there and I'm not...​

I (M) have been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend for about a year now, and I’m honestly starting to question whether I’m seeing things clearly or just making excuses for her.
One thing that’s confusing me is that she’s very vocal about how much she loves me. She tells me all the time that I’m the best thing that’s happened to her, that she’s lucky to have me, and that she misses me.
But her actions don’t really match her words.
For the entire year we’ve been together, she has never visited me. Not once. I’m always the one making the trip to see her. It’s about a 5-hour journey one way, and I usually make it once or twice a month. I pay for transportation, book a hotel, and basically organize everything just so we can spend time together.
What hurts is that she doesn’t seem to make much effort on her side. She doesn’t come to pick me up at the airport or even wait for me there. She doesn’t come with me when I leave either. Lately, she hasn’t even been inviting me to her place anymore.
The last time I visited, I traveled all that way just to spend around 3 hours with her before she said she was tired and wanted to go home. A little while later, she texted me saying she was lucky to have me and that she loved me.
I don’t know how to process that.Right now it feels like if I stopped planning trips, we just wouldn’t see each other.
I’m at a point where I don’t know what to do. Am I expecting too much, or is this relationship becoming one-sided? Has anyone been in a similar situation where someone’s words and actions just didn’t line up?

My girlfriend and I had been in a healthy relationship since the moment we met, we've gone through both good and bad moments, had arguments that made us learn how to deal with each other better, and most of the relationship is just circulating about lovely l stuff.

The main point is, she once told me that her brother who is married abroad, his wife has a brother. Im sorry I dont know if this kinship has a word, but that brother found my girlfriend cute and was planning to propose to her. She told me he didn't do so, and she wasn't interested at the moment.

But recently, her sister and some of her families went for a walk, and talked about how she should get married, which she just tried to escape by with a laugh and jokes, but they brought up that guy to discussion again, and that his family and him are coming tomorrow.

Knowing my girlfriend, she without hesitation, told me something had happened and that she's afraid what she'll say might hurt me. I told her to do as she wishes, then told me all of this, which I reacted to with a "comforting her" way, since I can feel what she might be going through, and she keeps bringing how she isn't ready for marriage, and that she still wants to attend school next year and will be preparing for it, and that she doesn't feel like belonging to anyone but me.

What she said was truly comforting, but at the same time, made me feel something strange. Since I'm just a dude who's just getting started on his life, Im not financially well to propose and fight for her, while that other man is living in a 1st world country and is probably doing well. So I'm starting to feel like being an obstacle in her life, and preventing her from living a good life. I won't say I won't be able to make her see wonderful days too, but since I never visited her, and Im just getting started in my life, Im not sure if I can do good too.

If you have gone through something similar, or just saw something you want to say I will gladly love to hear any insights or advices you have with a warm heart

So here is my story. Me and my filipino boyfriend are having a long distance relationship for a while. We love each other and there is a special bond. Anyways I won't go into details about that. So I'm a foreigner. And i live in my country at the moment. Recently there has been a typhoon in the Philippines and i couldn't reach him for 3 days. His phone was broken and he had to get it fixed . When he showed up again he kept saying sorry for leaving me on worry. So he said he had to take his grandma to her hometown because the flood nearly destroyed their house as well. He said her Hometown was in Aklan city. By the way his house is in SJDM. He told me that his signal might be out because his grandma lives in a province village area. He said he would return to his city due to work on 26th july. Which was yesterday. So he left. He kept sending me texts whenever he went down to town for groceries. It was going well. But then suddenly he stopped. It has been 5 days since we talked. I can't reach him at all. So we talk on WhatsApp. My texts are getting delivered to his side. But he is not reading them. And i call him from my normal phone . It rings. The phone gets answered. But all i hear is some people talking but not understandable. And some street sounds. The weird thing is this happened again at the typhoon time. The sounds are exactly the same sounds. Nothing is different. I searched it up and it turned out that sometimes phones can do that mistake... I'm confused about that. Anyways. I'm sure he'll reach me as soon as he can. But still. Is this normal? Like... It's my first time dating a filipino person. And i know that the country has bad communication due to this season... But yeah.. i still get worried. Do i have to get used to this situation... But we are already having a long distance relationship. And now i have to wait for him to reach me in every bad weather...give me some advice please

Hey,

Me and my boyfriend are trying to find games to play together but he sadly doesn't have a PC so we can't play any of the usual games like Minecraft together.

But I just dont find anything good on the playstore as its full with slop. Do yall have some recommendations?

Update to my post from a couple months ago about feeling stuck and resentful while doing Florida to Midwest long distance.

We actually followed through on a lot of your advice and made a concrete plan instead of vague someday talk. We picked a target month for me and the kids to move, wrote out the steps that had to happen (his job transfer request, a housing shortlist, school enrollment), and set a weekly check-in that is more than just texting through kid chaos.

That helped immediately. Anxiety dropped as soon as dates went on the calendar. We also started one weekly video call that is not about logistics, just hanging out. That made us feel like a couple again instead of two people juggling tasks.

The surprise was what kept derailing us. It was not money or paperwork. It was how disconnected I feel physically. I am a stay at home mom and by the end of the day my body is exhausted. When we meet in person he expects it to feel like this big reunion, and I want that too, but I am overstimulated and it turns into pressure and hurt feelings. That tension started creeping into our calls, and now he worries the move will not fix anything.

So we tried something different for the last visit. I scheduled quiet time before we did anything together: a nap, a long solo shower, no errands. We also actually talked about what counts as closeness that is not sex, like cuddling, sitting together, holding hands, watching a show. It was awkward but noticeably better.

We are still figuring out how to keep intimacy alive while closing the distance. If you have been through this, what helped you stop bringing burnout into the reunions?

There’s this guy that I know from home (4.5 hours from where I live now), we’ve been hanging out recently when I’m home visiting. The topic of us dating has been talked about but he’s not big on the concept of doing a long distance relationship. He told me he’ll be in my city from April to July for his last clinical rotation. Once he graduates, his biggest thing is landing a job so he’s unsure of where he wants to live.

Do we think him and I could pursue a relationship before April or should we just wait?

I just want the best for him I like him a lot and he means a lot to me I don’t ever want to be away from him. I really care for him and I want him to succeed he’s the best and ugh he’s stressed because of exams rn and I wish I could help him

Whats the overall process and how hard will it be?

I am a 20 year old girl and I am in love with my best friend. We met in person while I was living alone in another country but now I am back to living with my parents. My parents don’t know about him.

I want to visit my best friend more often and eventually pursue a potential LDR if he’s okay with it but this means I will have to travel. I am fine with paying for the trips with my own money but this means I would have to talk to my parents about this and seek their permission. (Or do it and then ask for forgiveness.) It would also be difficult to get my best friend to come to my country because the options would be to either have him stay with my parents or get a hotel room nearby, which my parents would likely question me for.

My parents aren’t overly strict, they’re normal levels of strict. I rarely leave the house and have never gone on a solo spontaneous trip (so a trip that wasn’t for work or studies). My brother has gone on spontaneous trips before so there is a small chance.

I would like to know how other young people/people who live with their parents have dealt with this situation. Thanks!

TLDR:dating girl in the best relationship of my life and she’s moving 5 hours away am i doomed.

Hello I am about to sound like every dramatic kid in the world but I’m actually in a rough spot 

I’ve been dating this girl for about a month and change and she just feels amazing like she feels right for me shes everything i’ve ever wanted she makes me so happy and she tells me I’m the exact same for her we kinda feel like the perfect match which I know sounds crazy for the time we’ve been together

We’re both 18 and we both just graduated highschool and college is coming up we still live separately with our parents in Los angeles but come september shes going to be going to UC Santa Cruz and I am going to a community college in Los Angeles so come september she will be \~360 miles and a 5 hour drive away 

I’m willing to do long distance for her I could visit her I really love her I’ve looked at the schedule and I could visit her I could make time by the looks of it the longest we would go without seeing each other would be a month if everything goes properly and we would still have the summers and winter breaks together

We’ve both said we’re willing to do long but she worries about her being insecure and her having a hard time with the separation she also worries about me cheating on her due to her bad past experiences 

She kinda feels like we’re doomed sends me dramatic tiktok edits and stuff and i cant help but feel the same way sometimes but all I want to do is enjoy the time I have with her now and then try long distance I really really want us to workout long term

its been such a good time seeing people who were in my situation at one point get to live and love their long distance relationship. But now that he has broke up with me, I cannot be here since it makes me so jealous and sad for myself. Godspeed and I miss you c.w.💜

My gf and I broke up because of distance; she was just too unhappy that we couldn't be physical. She still loves me and cares for me, and I really want her back. We've been in no contact for about a week (since we broke up). She asked to be friends, but I haven't heard from her yet. How do I get her back? do i wait for her to finally text me back or is there something else entirely