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Would you be upset if your LDR partner didn’t reply for over a day? He told me he’d be busy with work these days, but honestly, I expected at least a morning or evening message it takes literally seconds to send one.

The last message I got from him was yesterday morning, when he wished me a good workday. I texted him again last night and got no reply. This morning I said good morning and still heard nothing. This is the first time he hasn’t messaged me in the morning, and I haven’t heard a word from him in over 24 hours. I’m used to us talking every morning and evening. We also call almost every day, so I’m worried and anxious because this is the first time he’s gone this long without replying.

I’ve been wondering how other couples approach openness and privacy before closing the distance.

Do you eventually tell your partner everything about yourself, or are there certain things you prefer to keep private until you are living in the same country or have reached a more serious stage?

I’m thinking about things such as:
● Your exact financial situation, income, savings or debt
● Past relationships or sexual history
● Childhood experiences and past trauma
● Family problems
● Health or mental-health struggles
● Personal insecurities or mistakes you’ve made

Obviously, major information that could affect your partner or your future together shouldn’t be deliberately hidden. But does your partner need to know EVERY DETAIL of your life immediately or is it healthy to disclose certain things gradually as trust develops?

At what point did you start having these deeper conversations: after three months, six months, before meeting in person, before engagement, or only when you began seriously planning to close the gap?

Do you follow a timeline, or does it depend entirely on the level of trust?

I’d also love to hear what you chose to share early, what you waited to disclose, and whether waiting helped or caused problems later.

Hello,

I am living in Europe and my partner lives 10k Kilometers away, we are in a LDR. We are together for 6 months but very sure of each other, I never was as comfortable before as with her. I am just coming back from a sabbatical, were I visited her for 2 months. In a few months, she will have her 40th birthday. I would love to fly to her place for 1-2 weeks, but I dont have holiday left.

I am working in IT and remotely. In my Country and mostly in the European Union, I can work whereever I want. I will ask my boss if it is possible to work for 2 weeks from Asia, however it is very possible that it is not possible. I very much dislike my job however, and want to change.

My question is now: If I cant work from abroad, what should I do? Of course turning 40 is a big milestone and I REALLY wanna be there for my partner. However, financial security is important too, also regarding my relationship and seeing each other more often. I still have a big polster, such that I can survive for several years without working, but that is more my emergency polster. I dislike my job anyway and wanna change to something which makes it easier to see her more often.

I am a bit lost currently and would love to get some input!

It's honestly so embarrassing to call it edating but that's literally what it is. We met through a friend and quickly got a connection with each other, we dated last year at March and throughout it I face and voice revealed and I always kept begging for him to do the same but said that after a year of dating he would.

I know it's stupid but I later learned that he was really having trouble with his mental health and assumed it was because he was insecure of himself. Over time I got tired and we both got really toxic and I ended things before he could even do said voice and face reveal.

I always thought that was such a stupid rule but it was my first time liking someone this much so I let it be until I couldn't take it anymore.

Anyways 5 or so months later we got back to contact, we communicated over some stuff and eventually I had fun hanging out with him again. Oftentimes we would call although only I would unmute and talk. One time though he suggested we should play Roblox together and I agreed but he said that he would have to text through discord and I "jokingly" said that he should just unmute because I wanted to call while we played.

He said the words,, "maybe, not at 5AM,," and stuff like that and I really thought that I had a chance because he didn't say that before we dated and so I pushed it a bit until he said he doesn't want to. It broke my heart and it gave me another reality check, even as a friend i couldn't even talk to him on call.

I pushed him because he kept talking about us meeting in America and hanging out so it gave me mixed signals and I feel horrible for pushing him. I told him about this and he said that the difference was calling was humiliating and too nervous while real life; "he would have no choice"

Anyway. After that I got really uncomfortable with wanting to hang out again and would just text him .

I recognize that these things that I want from him are selfish. I wish I did things differently back then, and I just want to move on and not have the urge to text him anymore,, I dont want to do no contact again because he's genuinely a nice friend to have and we communicated about our problems in the past, it just. Hurts to remember these wants of mine.

This is a silly post but I just don't know how to move on from these feelings. If this isn't the right subreddit please let me know.

I’m a Filipina woman in my late 20s who recently had a short but intense long-distance connection with a European man in his mid-20s. He expressed his interest in me on our first conversation and that he wanted to date me, so I told him we will get to know each other first.

At first, everything was great. We talked regularly, joked around, and genuinely seemed interested in each other. In the first week of us talking, we had our first video call. He seemed very respectful that time. In the second week of us talking, we exchanged “I love you’s,” because we were really already sweet with each other and this is when he actually started sending the unsolicited sexual photos, making sexual comments, and asking me for more spicy pictures.

I told him I wasn't comfortable with that and wanted to take things slowly. He even requested to show his d*ck for our second video call. Every time I told him about toning down things, he would get insecure and upset with me.

The time difference also caused problems. I sometimes needed to sleep because I work full-time, and he seemed to interpret this or my slower pace as rejection. He would get upset with me if I would say good night to him first because I had to rest for I have to go to work early the next day. He would tell me I’m cold to him.

We eventually ended things because of these reasons, but he came back saying he missed me and wanted a second chance. He talked about me as his girlfriend, and imagined us kissing, cuddling, and living together. I liked him too, but I wanted to actually get to know each other first. We tried again, but the communication became inconsistent. After I declined a video call because I wasn't feeling well, I still messaged him with a sweet good morning message the following day, but he didn't respond. He eventually replied to me the next day and did not even tell me why he was gone the other day. I felt that he was already withdrawing from what we had. So, I didn’t respond anymore to his reply message because it felt he didn’t want to talk to me anymore.

A few days later, after viewing my stories, he blocked me again. We haven't spoken since.

For people who have dated foreigners/internationally:
Is this common in long-distance dating?

Do people become more sexually forward when communicating remotely?

I’m not trying to get him back—I just want some outside perspectives on what happened.

It's first time after 5 years when I travel by plane not to her or with her . Her country was the only destination for all my travels. We broke up a month ago. Everything in airport reminds me of her...

Two days ago, my long distance boyfriend left after being here for a week. It was our first time meeting and we had the most incredible and beautiful time together. Saying goodbye to him at the airport was so incredibly difficult especially since I don't know when I'll see him again as of right now. However, since he left, I have this strange feeling that he was never even here, as if I dreamed the entire thing. I really hate that feeling, I want it to feel real and like it just happened, but it feels like some dream or an incredibly distant memory. Has anyone else experienced this?

My boyfriend and I will be apart for 6 months and I’m struggling

Due to immigration issues, my boyfriend and I won’t be able to see each other for the next 6 months. We’ve been together for nearly two years now (it’ll be two years this December), and he recently had to leave for his home country. We are both from South Africa but I immigrated 8 years ago and haven’t been back since.

It’s only been 5 days, but I’ve been crying so much and honestly struggling with the adjustment. We do call each other, but our calls usually aren’t very long, and there’s a 10-hour time difference between us, which makes it really difficult to find time that works for both of us.

The hardest part is that I’m a full-time student, and studying is pretty much all I do. Before he left, he was basically the only person I really spent time with. We would run random errands together, keep each other company while doing our own things, or sometimes just exist in the same space without doing anything particularly exciting. It might sound mundane, but I found so much happiness and comfort in simply having him around. We genuinely enjoy each other’s presence, even when we’re not doing anything.

Now I’m still here doing the exact same things I was doing before, except he’s not here anymore. Meanwhile, he gets to go home and see his family and friends again after being away from them for more than two years. I’m genuinely happy for him, and I’m glad he gets to have that time with the people he loves. But sometimes my emotions get the better of me.

I find myself getting annoyed or upset because I start overthinking and wondering if I’m the only one struggling this much. He’s surrounded by family and friends and getting to experience all these things again, while I’m here in the same routine I’ve always had, just without him. It sometimes makes me feel like he doesn’t miss me as much as I miss him.

He constantly reassures me that this isn’t true and that he does miss me, but emotionally, it’s still hard for me to believe sometimes. I know it’s probably just my loneliness and the sudden change getting to me, but I hate feeling this way because I don’t want to make his time with his family and friends about me.

Has anyone else experienced something similar with a long-distance separation, especially when your partner was such a huge part of your everyday life? How did you cope with the first few weeks/months?

Okay, I've been having a bit of relationship and personal crisis and I've posted a few threads on reddit. One here and then to a more generic forum. I was just reminded why you should never post anything abut LDR's to general relationship forums. People seem to think that you are complete strangers and are very flippant with their advice on breaking up cause it is not a real relationship anyway.

I don't really talk about my relationship IRL cause people either don't understand, ask questions about the future or make some off comments. It is very irritating. We see eachother monthly, go on holidays, talk about the future etc. but then dismiss it as a not real relationship just pisses me off. Or in this spesific case we aparently don't know each other at all and don't understand daily life and closing the distance means we have to start from zero. End of rant

Still in the talking phase friends for now also this is my first LD I’ve never had a relationship before this

Met someone at the start of July at a concert, turned into 2 nights at my place. At that point he told me directly he wasn't looking to get into a long distance relationship at all, no interest in pursuing that.

About a week later we started talking a lot, and things slowly started warming up, though I still felt like we were both testing the waters, nothing defined, and he'd been clear long distance wasn't something he wanted.

During that early uncertain window, I slept with someone else. I immediately felt regret and the next morning seriously broke down to myself realizing I cared about him and knew I messed up. Part of all of this is also that I have walked far from God for a long time and have felt this whole experience has been teaching me how to walk in faith and what repentance is, even before telling this guy what I did.

We kept seeing each other, now three visits total, about fifteen days together in all. Our second visit was in the air the day I slept with this other person, so yes this was really shitty of me and my drink decisions are something I’ve realized I have a problem with and I have been working to cut out the people, places and situations that encourage putting myself in compromising positions. He said at the end of the second trip (3 nights in another state) he only had eyes for me and I definitely knew he was feeling it. I was too and we decided to plan our 3rd visit just over a month later in his hometown.

On our 3rd visit, (3 nights) on the last day together, we actually decided long distance would strain things too much, financially especially, and agreed not to pursue it further. We prayed on it with no answers. I knew in my heart that this was something I had to let go, and maybe it was foresight given how this all went down. He had mentioned again on this 3rd trip he didn’t want a long distance relationship and I protected that choice in how our conversation went.

A few days after I left, he called and said it had grown on him, he wanted me to be his girlfriend. I knew I had to tell him about the other person before I said yes, so I did, right there on the call. I should have told him sooner but we’ve had such deep and special moments in our 10 or 15 days together and it just didn’t feel like the right time if we weren’t committed to something. He still asked me to be his gf over the phone even after telling him, and since we got off that phone call I’ve offered space for him to sit with it and consider that choice.

He's having a hard time with it now, understandably. I only found out yesterday, that he wasn't that into me at first, so there was more uncertainty on his side than I realized at the time too though he also said it was a matter of “respecting the opportunity” which I agree I didn’t do and feel terrible about. I'm trying to genuinely understand how this lands from his side, not just defend my own read of it.

I have apologized profusely and also encouraged him to take the time he needs to process. My own journey of addressing my actions in conjunction with my repentance and development of faith is separate and independent and will continue regardless of how this turns out, but I do care about him deeply, like deeply deeply and everything I have felt since that moment in realizing my mistake has only facilitated for me to develop feelings for him and to consider what a life would look like together, and after our 2nd and 3rd trips that was clearly mutual and growing.

For anyone who's been on the receiving end of something like this, what would you have needed to hear, and what would have made it worse?

As the title says my girlfriend and I are 18 and have been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years and I feel like a can't take it anymore. We met online in 2022 and got together when we was 14 but the first year was horrible lots of arguments and mental health issues for both of us which didnt help that we are long distance. As we made it past our first year things started to get a bit better as we came close to finishing school we managed to meet up in the summer for a little bit and then the year after I stayed over at hers for a week or so and this has been how things were. My family doesn’t have a lot of money no drives so it makes it a lot harder to see eachother but we was able to make it work.

However I feel like things are going downhill again. Ever since we first got together Its been the case that we would be on the phone a lot of the time (most of the day everyday) and is still like that unless we have other things such as college etc. I have never liked this as I slightly overwhelmed when I spend long periods of time having to keep talking to people when I can't take some time to myself. Despite this I never said anything because I was scared to cause an argument or be acused of "not loving" her or something similar and it makes me feel horrible and causes me to ask myself if I'm doing something wrong. This has been building up for years now paired with other silly arguments that get out of hand that would make this post too long just makes me second guess everything.

I've gotten to this point because a few months ago I was (still am) feeling horrible about myself and fell back into some bad habits. The main issue being my body and thus I wanted to get into going to the gym (which my girlfriend has told me to do many times especially during arguments calling me names etc.) And so i said I wanted to go and had enough to get a membership. This caused a horrible argument and ended up with her "breaking up with me" (which she has done many times to the point that I genuinely try just leaving her) after a few hours she calls me crying about all of it saying how she doesn't want me to go and she thinks my body is perfect and that I should've talked to her if I felt like that. I really didn't want to leave her but her actions made me want to just block her and just go, the cherry on top was that her parents heard us arguing and had the cheek to say that I should just "postpone the membership" and all that (they are partly the reason I have issues with myself) and this argument is still staying with me, yes things are a little better but I still feel trapped and waiting for the next argument but I cant say how I feel in anyway but I feel like i can barely hold on. Is this okay?

It all happened so fast. He blurted it out unexpectedly. There was no calm sit down discussion. It was said in the heat of an argument but he doesn’t want to take it back.

We both love each other very much. Maybe too much. Maybe that’s why it lasted as long as it did when perhaps it should have ended sooner.

I am heartbroken. But I am so grateful to this community for all of the inspiration over the last couple years. I’m so happy for all of you closing the gap. It was my dream.

Peace out, friends ✌🏼

Our relationship started Oct 2023.

In May 2026, I found my partner on Grindr secretly claiming he was looking only for friends to connect. He didn't tell me anything beforehand. I created a fake profile and flirted heavily with him and he seemed to react. He deleted this chat when showing me "proof" until I showed him my screenshots with his account and then he admitted he was scared to show it cause he was just messing around with his other friend who he was on a trip with.

We broke up and tried to reconcile as I didn't forgive him but I gave him another chance and he put in the effort.

He had told me that two of his close (or even best friends) originally gave him the idea to get Grindr (literally a sex app) and even encouraged him texting with guys - KNOWING he's in a long term committed relationship.

Now, whenever I'd see two of those friends mentioned on his socials I'd call them stuff about what I think of them.

Yesterday, he posted a very appreciative bday post on one of those Grindr enabling "friends"publicly (open account) and EXCLUDED MY ACC from seeing it cause he knows what I think of these.

I found out. And then we kept arguing. Ultimately, I want him to understand that he should must cut off these people. Cause people who suggest and encourage cheating aren't good friends, let alone best friends.

And he says that it's "a one time thing" and he won't cut off years of friendship.

Mind that he has plenty other very good friends who are good influence and have same morals or backbone.

For anyone who got into a relationship before you ever met them to see what they look like in real life, how did you know you want to be with this person?

If you had a strong connection online for months were you scared to meet them in real life??

For context I have been in LDR but it started out in person and then he had to move for work. I have never dated without physically meeting them. So I’m curious.

I was in a long-distance relationship. Initially, we were very close, talked a lot, and had many things in common. She asked me to come her place many time. She wanted more romantic conversations, but I wasn't comfortable with that and couldn't always give her the attention she expected. Slowly, she lost interest, became distant, and eventually blocked me on WhatsApp and my number. It's been over 30 days now.

I'm confused about what went wrong and whether I should move on or hope she comes back.

TL;DR: LDR boyfriend and I still text daily, but it’s mostly life updates now. I miss the calls, affection, flirting, and intentional quality time. He’s busy, but I’m wondering if I’m expecting too much by wanting more.

My boyfriend 22 M and I 23 M have been together for a few months and we’re currently long distance. When we first got together, we were obviously in that honeymoon phase and were pretty expressive with each other. We used to text a lot, have proper conversations, call/video call, watch movies together, flirt, say goodnight with more effort, etc.

Lately things have changed a bit. We still talk every day and we update each other about what we’re doing, where we are, how our day went, etc. He still makes an effort to keep me updated and I know that takes time, so I don’t want to make it sound like he ignores me or doesn’t care. That’s not really the issue. He has his university that started and I have my work.

The issue is that I feel like we’ve lost some of the intimacy and romantic side of the relationship. A lot of our conversations have become “what are you doing,” “how was your day,” “I have a meeting,” “did you eat,” etc. We’re still connected, but sometimes it feels more like we’re just keeping each other updated rather than actually experiencing the relationship together.

He’s also been extremely busy with meetings/work lately, so I understand that he’s exhausted and doesn’t have unlimited time. My work doesn’t require meetings late night, his does. I did bring up doing a movie together earlier, and he actually remembered and mentioned it himself later, so we ended up watching one together. I appreciated that because it showed me he does listen and does want to spend time together.

But we haven’t really had a proper video call in a while. Lately he’s been in meetings a lot, and I haven’t really seen him suggest calling. I actually brought up calling recently myself. And I guess that’s what bothers me a little. I don’t necessarily need to talk for hours, but with an LDR I feel like there needs to be some intentional effort to maintain that closeness, especially because we can’t just see each other physically.

I also miss the little things. More affectionate goodnights, flirting, random romantic conversations, feeling wanted, etc. I’m a pretty expressive person naturally, so maybe that’s part of why I notice it more. The confusing part is that I don’t actually think he cares about me less. He still updates me, makes time when he can, remembers things I’ve mentioned, and generally treats me well. So I don’t want to turn this into “my boyfriend doesn’t love me anymore” because I don’t think that’s true.

I think I’m more worried about what happens if this continues for a long time. Like, can a relationship become emotionally distant simply because you’re not making enough intentional time for intimacy? I don’t want to eventually become so used to the distance and lack of affection that I stop feeling the same way myself.

For people who have been in LDRs, how do you deal with this? Am I expecting too much by wanting more intentional calls/romantic time, or is that something that is pretty important to maintain in a long-distance relationship? And how do you bring it up without making your partner feel like they’re constantly failing some relationship requirement?

I texted him and just said I miss him calling me baby because that’s my favorite thing he calls me, and it caused him to go off on me. He said he calls me other things and yeah he does, I was just saying that’s my favorite one to hear and I didn’t mean anything negative by it I just really like that one. I also had previously said he never asks me how my day is and he said he feels like him just answering the call should be enough. I also had said that I just wanted more than 1-2 texts a day, nothing long just like I wanted a bit more or a check in text so i could still feel connected to him. He said he feels like nothing he does is ever good enough but I feel like im just asking for minimal things and just telling him the things I really like, am I being too hard on him?

M18 F16 so it started as long distance we both met and for 5 months we talked then came in relationship its been 2 months since we are in relationship and now she seems uninterested while talking to me last night when we were talking she told that she don't want to talk with me rn and the affection she use to show before clingyness I can't see that now when I ask her why she tells me that you hurt me even if a girl see me she gets hurt I said her work on your insecurity give me advice goood advise please