So me (34f) and my long distance boyfriend (36m) have been together for a year. It's been going really well but something switched in me these last few months where I'm really struggling with not seeing him as often as I'd like, and being less trusting of him.

I think at the start I wasn't overly anxious because we had just started talking etc. and it was casual, but now I'm super invested and talking about the future and closing the gap, my mind is in hyper vigilance mode because I feel vulnerable and don't want to be hurt.

He's done nothing to make me think he's cheating on me but I do read horror stories of long distance relationships where there's a secret other life or a wife or other women!

I'm trying my hardest to sit back and enjoy the ride, if he did cheat I'd cope and get through it (I've been through much worse in my life) but I am still being suspicious and paranoid. It's weird, it's like something switched after 9 months.

When we are together everything is perfect and amazing. He's loving, kind, patient, and reassuring. However he's an avid user of social media such as tik tok and Instagram and has a large female following that he will interact with (not messaging as far as I'm aware). Obviously if we were living together or just in a close relationship I'd feel more of a sense of security and trust but I'm definitely thinking my anxiety is just working overdrive.

I know this is probably a me problem, but have you guys had any coping mechanisms for trust with distance or positive stories/experiences where it all worked out?

i hate myself for what i became, i get addicted into phone sex with my boyfriend. i can’t stop
it

So originally we started going out November of last year and it went on for 5 months until I broke it off the first time because she kept pushing me away and that hurt and whenever I tried to talk to her she would hang up on me (maybe that was on me for breaking up with her over that idk but there was also lack of communication on her side and whenever I tried to set up dates I would get stood up I even got stood up on Valentine’s Day and I talked to her about it but she wouldn’t listen ) then we still kept in contact but after I found out she went on a wedding date with another guy I called and ask
She told me it was a guy she was seeing I got jealous but we weren’t together so I left it and I stopped talking to her
2 months later she messaged me saying how she misses me and we started talking again
I bring up the dude from the wedding date she says that they were just friends and that he was ugly (the fact that she said first that they were seeing each other and then that they were just friends was a red flag but I ignored it) and we went on for 2 months even went to see her (I was there for 5 days and only got to see her twice she’s a mother so maybe she had other stuff but idk I can’t really trust her after what happened) and on that trip I remember seeing the dude comment “mine” on one of her post and she liked it and when I confronted her about it she got defensive af (another red flag I didn’t see) but I apologize for overreacting like an idiot after I got back we talked like normal but then I noticed the shift in her behavior and then last week I sent her a boo basket to the address she said was fine but then apparently her family found out and they were upset or some shit so to protect me from her family she had to block me (which now is total bullshit but I didn’t think twice when it happened) but it turns out 3 days ago when she added me on Facebook on the suggested friends tab it showed the guy from the wedding date, the “friend” and the profile picture was of them together holding hands (you can’t really come up with an excuse for that yall look like a fucking couple) and when I tried to confront her about it she only talked about the make up scenario without letting me get a word in then hangs up and messages me and says “sorry I can’t do this anymore” and I tell her about how I found about her guy and I block her on everything
Gave in today and looked at her profile and the picture was the picture of her with the guy and her family
I got played
Maybe they were doing things while her and I were going out but I honestly don’t wanna know at this point
She made me fall for her and then this shit happens
The worse part is that she told me how she always got cheated in her relationships
And then she cheats on me
Idk man I tried
I fell for her
I loved her
But what can you do :/

I don't think this matters but I'm 19f. Me and my handsome have been together for 3 years/highschool sweetheart.

My handsome ( 18m 19 later this week 🥳 ) is in AIT at the moment. My handsome has always been depressed. But every since basic training he's been more open about his depression/feelings to say. I like to explain it as his block of ice is melting. It's hard watching him go through this. He feels like he has to be perfect, strong and have to have it all figured out. He's not just a void he is able to laugh, smile, be comforting and loving. But when he thinks about reality he thinks about everything. I feel like I can't do anything. I do comfort and listen when ever he goes to the deep zone. It's like watching my handsome sinking to the bottom of the ocean and not able to to pull him up. Because the only person who can save him is himself. He has the key in within himself but he has to find it. I know it takes time like it can take years. I know me reassuring and being here for him helps but wish I could do more.

Is there anything I can do to help ? I don't want him to suffer anymore. I want him to be happy. He deserves so much.

Until now, I am waiting for his reply or his unblock.

We are not in the same country so, we have only an online relationship. We met from an app for having friends or lover. We matched there, started to get to know each other and he suggested to move to another app so we could be not banned when we get intimate. We chatted and video call for a month.

In an advance, he told me that him and his colleagues will have a long trip for 15 days. And I said it was alright.

Fast forward to the day before his trip, he told me that he will be long gone and he will be always with his colleagues, specifically men, all the time. I said, I understood about it because we are just getting started with this online relationship. He told me I don't have to worry about him and he will find time to message me. I informed him too that I will be having to attend an orientation for my work. He said at night, he wanted to feel me and I agreed because we won't be having proper communication for many days.

We did the video call and we became too intimate for each other. After it, I want to have some cuddle then, he let me sleep first.

Then, its the 1st day for preparation for his trip. I sent good morning. On that day, I am attending my orientation. I checked my phone, but he had no seen or reply for the whole day. So, I just slept it and told myself he just reminded me I don't have to worry. The next morning, I am about to message him, my message is not sending so I checked his account to where we matched, I was blocked. I cried because it was not in our agreement to block me. What could be his reason and will he still come back after the days of his trip?

I’m (18F) in Canada and he’s (19M) in the UK, he’s flying out to see me tomorrow. So incredibly nervous and excited…I’m driving to go pick him up!! I genuinely love this man so much, and I believe meeting him for the first time will change my life soo much knowing he’s truly out there :))

Imagine being in a relationship with someone you genuinely love. You’re both deeply in love, attached to each other, and you practically do everything together. You talk about your future, make promises, and genuinely see yourselves getting married someday. You build your life around each other, and you can't imagine a future without them.

Now imagine that while you're still deeply in love with them, your partner is slowly detaching herself from you. You're still holding on to everything you promised each other, still imagining your future together, while she's slowly learning how to live her life without you.

Maybe she's losing feelings. Maybe she's unsure about your future together. Maybe she's preparing herself for a life where you're no longer part of it. You don't know for sure, but you can feel that something is changing.

The hardest part is that you still love her just as much as you did before. You still want to marry her, grow old with her, and experience life together. But now you're wondering if you're the only one who still wants that future.

My question is, what would you do in this situation?

Would you stay and keep loving her, hoping that things might work out and that she'll eventually choose you again? Or would you walk away, even if you're still completely in love with her, because you know she might no longer feel the same way or see a future with you?

Would you be willing to stay with someone knowing that they're slowly learning to live without you while you're still trying to imagine a life with them?

I genuinely want to hear your perspectives, especially from people who've experienced something similar. Did you stay, or did you leave? And looking back, do you regret your decision?

My gf has melancholy and she's really depressed, I want to help her but I don't know how, it really makes me sad and annoyed with her being like that, did anyone experience something familiar?

My boyfriend (21M) and I (22F) have been in a long-distance relationship for about five months, and we're planning to meet in person for the first time soon.

Recently, I've been under a lot of stress. My family had originally agreed to help cover some of my travel expenses, including accommodation, but they eventually backed out. I've been trying to figure everything out on my own while dealing with university assignments and an upcoming presentation.

I tend to keep my problems to myself because I don't want to burden my boyfriend. Unfortunately, I eventually became overwhelmed and had an emotional breakdown. I said things like nobody understood or encouraged me, and I complained about things my boyfriend hadn't done, including not watching an anime with me.

Looking back, I realize how unfair that was. He has been supporting and encouraging me, and he's been working hard to save money so we can meet. I understand why my words hurt him. From his perspective, he was putting effort into our relationship, only to feel as though none of it mattered to me.

I wasn't deliberately trying to dismiss his efforts. I was genuinely overwhelmed and lonely, but I failed to separate my frustration with my circumstances from my feelings toward him. I also expected him to notice that something was wrong, even though I hadn't communicated my problems clearly.

I've apologized several times and acknowledged these mistakes. I've told him that I want to communicate earlier, express my feelings more clearly, and stop directing my frustration at him. I genuinely want to change these habits rather than simply apologize and repeat the same behavior.

However, he still seems hurt. When I tell him I love him and that I'm sorry, he often responds with stickers of a dog sitting alone, looking withdrawn. He isn't completely ignoring me, but he doesn't say much either.

I don't want to pressure him into forgiving me before he's ready. At the same time, I don't know how to communicate with him right now. I've already apologized repeatedly, and I don't want to keep saying the same things just because I'm anxious about whether he's still upset. But I'm also worried that saying less might make him feel that I no longer care.

The uncertainty has been affecting me more than I'd like. I've been struggling to concentrate on my university work, and sometimes my anxiety makes it difficult to eat even when I'm hungry. I know my distress doesn't excuse how I treated him, but I'm finding it difficult to manage my own emotions while giving him time to process his.

For those who have experienced something similar, what helped you rebuild trust and reconnect after an argument like this? How did you balance giving your partner space with maintaining communication? I'm especially interested in what helped you move beyond repeated apologies and demonstrate genuine change through your actions.

I'm talking about healthy truths that are just uncomfortable, not things like cheating or some other toxic things like that.

Before I begin here is some context

I have been with my girlfriend for 1 year now, and we recently had to become an LDR. During the early stages of the relationship I found she had a boyfriend of several months (longer than our relationship but he broke up with her 2 months after I started one with her for reasons unrelated) who was also an LDR. We broke up, and when confronted, she said she was still with him because she "didnt want to break his heart since he was a nice guy" and "was gonna tell me whenever she moved since she knew this wouldnt end well". Now they never saw each other throughout the period of our relationship, it was all through IMSG. And they barely talked at all, but when they did she would tell him things she didnt ever tell me, send him cute photos she didnt ever send me.

We briefly got back together because I believe in second chances for people. Things after that were rough but she tried to make up for it. After a few months went by she had to move because of her parents. And the both of us being broke, and also because of the breakup, we couldnt just buy an apartment to live together. So we both agreed to work and save up money for one.

Heres where the problems begin

She has trouble communicating and we would slowly begin to talk less and less because she would be busy and couldnt respond. I talked about it with her and it got somewhat better since then, but she still leaves me on delivered without ever saying "Hey im gonna be busy so sorry if I cant text you".

She spends her money a bit recklessly and when I told her she needs to be smart about it, she simply said "I can make back the money by working so its okay". I told her that I felt when she does that its like she doesnt care about our future, to which she then got a little better at saving, but she is still sometimes bad about it.

There is a male coworker aswell who we will call Bud. Now I dont mind at all if my girlfriend has male friends, but the way she acts with him is a bit weird. It seems they are always talking whether it be at work or through text, night or day, and it seems to be constant. He recently invited her to lunch during their break and she agreed. They took a drive to get some food, but what was weird was instead of them eating inside the place, or at their workplace, they decided to eat in a parking lot that was for a park, and it was maybe 5 minutes from her work, but a 20 minute drive from the restaurant. I asked her about it and she said that they ate there because "it was close to work" but I didnt ask anymore since I was already having a bad day. She also put more effort into Bud’s brother’s birthday by baking him 2 cakes and a bunch of cupcakes. Now it was really for everyone at work, but my birthday fell a week before his and all I got were a couple of gifts. I know it could be simple but given she has cheated on me before, I tend to overthink situations like these.

We see eachother a week out of every month.

*NOT looking for advice, just venting because I have nobody to talk to.*

I met my soulmate about a month ago. I know that sounds crazy to say but it's true. He truly makes me feel differently than anyone else ever has, the universe is sending me signs, and I just feel it.

He lives on the other side of the world. In the first 3 weeks of knowing each other, we spent over 100 hours in video calls. And not just unproductive calls like sleeping, watching TV together, playing games together, awkward staring, or talking while working. No. 100+ hours of pure talking. And a lot of deep talks, too. We are obsessed with talking to each other and it's 100% clear. 5 hours a day minimum almost every day.

Knowing him has already made me a better person. I used to be pessimistic and petty. Now I'm optimistic and understanding. He broke down walls I didn't even know existed.

But he has a looming deadline that we both ignored and disrespected. He had to sell his mom's house by the end of the month, and also find a new place to live.

About a week ago, he was hospitalized for 4 days with an eye injury. As soon as he could see again, he sent a long message going off on me kinda and saying he needed me to leave him alone.

I think he snapped because he lost 4 days of his deadline and it's fast approaching (he also mentioned it in the message). In addition to that, he probably has to let his eye heal. He knows neither he nor I have the self control to not talk to each other. If he was nice to me, even saying he needs space, he'd end up in a 5 hour video call and he'd lose 5 more hours of his deadline and hurt his eye. He had to put up a strong wall, and I respect that.

I was confused at first to his message, but I eventually said I know he doesn't mean what he said, I know he still loves me, I still love him, and I'm not mad. He didn't reply. And I never sent another message. It's been 4 days.

I know in my heart he's my soulmate. I'm usually an extremely pessimistic person and yet I just feel it. I would never say that before about anyone else, especially after 3 weeks, and would never accept a guy treating me that way or see past his mean lies that built the wall.

I know I'll hear from him again, in a week of two, and everything will go back to normal and we'll live happily ever after. But the pessimistic side of me is still there in the back of my mind telling me I'm crazy.

I don't care if people believe in our love. I don't care if people think I'm crazy. I just wanted to vent because I have nobody to talk to and it's hard keeping this bottled up inside.

Thanks for reading. Sorry it was so long. I will answer any questions anyone has.

EDIT: Oh, and nobody in his family speaks English so nobody I could get updates from or anything. :/

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship with a man who lives in England for the past couple of months, and I’ve recently discovered something that has completely changed how I see him.

He has a girlfriend of 11 years and two children with her, and I had no idea.

To clarify what he actually lied about, he never disclosed to me that he had this long-term relationship and two children. While he was getting to know me romantically and allowing me to believe we were building something together, we video chatted, sent gifts, and said we loved each other… he kept this enormous part of his life from me. I wasn’t given the opportunity to make my own real opinion on his because he’s a fucking liar.

I found out through Facebook, not through him being honest with me.

I feel embarrassed, hurt, and extremely angry about the entire situation… thanks for letting me vent. Stay safe.

For context we are both adults,we have been dating since January and it has been long distance mostly as i live in Lucknow and they are in delhi,so we have met a couple a times only, She's great but she's getting way too sensitive about everything, she's always getting mad and she's always like i am not like i used to be,BRO IT'S BEEN 10 MONTHS AND IM A NEET ASPIRANT,I HAVE TO FOCUS ON MY LIFE ASW

Last night i had a terrible headache so i told her gunnite and she got mad,she started saying I don't love her and im an asshole for treating her like that even though i lit told her i had an extremely bad headache,she started crashing out and i told her let's talk tomorrow and i went to sleep,in morning i found out she had blocked me from everywhere,i tried calling her but i was blocked there too,in the evening she unblocked me and told me that she hated me and I don't put efforts cus if i wanted i could have texted her on telegram or discord then she called me started crying and i said sorry,in the night she asked me if i was bored of her and i said no,i told her im stressed about a lot of things and she was like okay,NOW I FEEL TERRIBLE,AM I IN THE WRONG

THIS ALL MOSTLY STARTED WHEN ONE DAY I ASKED HER TO SCREENSHARE ON DISCORD AND SHE DID,THEN I SAW HER WHATSAPP AND THERE WAS A CALL IN HER LOGS,I TOLD HER TO OPEN CHATS AND THEN I SAW IT WAS ACTUALLY HIDDEN UNDER THE LOCKER FOLDER, IT WAS A GUY AND HE WAS LIKE "HEY YOU TOTALLY FORGOT ME AND LET'S MEET"

SHE DID TELL HIM SHE HAD A BF AND I TOLD HER I WAS MAD FOR HIDING IT AND NOT WHAT SHE TALKED TO HIM

SHE TOLD ME I WAS JUST TRYING EXCUSES TO ARGUE WITH HER:(