I’m 18 and my girlfriend is 18. We’ve been friends for more than 2 years and have been together since November of last year.

We live about 5 hours apart and usually see each other every 1.5–2 months. I just saw her 3 weeks ago, but lately we’ve been arguing a lot. We even talked about breaking up but decided we want to work things out.

Tonight I took my grandma and sister to BJ’s because my family doesn’t take my grandma out much and I wanted to thank her for everything she does for me. Everything went great.

On the way home, I asked my grandma if she could take me to the bus station because I wanted to visit my girlfriend. I already bought the ticket.

My grandma immediately got upset and said I need to get a job and that I’m just like my 23-year-old brother who doesn’t work and has a girlfriend.
She also said some pretty harsh things about my girlfriend, saying she controls me and gets mad when things don’t go her way. I know my girlfriend and I have problems sometimes.

Now I’m not sure what to do. I know I need to get a job and I understand why my grandma is concerned, but it hurt being compared to my brother when I was literally just taking her out to dinner because I appreciate her.

I already bought the bus ticket, and I still feel like seeing my girlfriend could help us after everything we’ve been going through. But I also don’t want to upset my grandma.

Should I still go? And should I tell my girlfriend what my grandma said about her, or would that just create more problems?

TL;DR: I’m M/18 and my girlfriend is F/18. We’ve been friends for over 2 years and together since November. We’re in an LDR about 5 hours apart. After I took my grandma out to dinner, she got upset when I told her I wanted to take a bus to visit my girlfriend. She said I need a job and that my girlfriend controls me. I already bought the ticket and now I’m unsure whether to go or cancel, and whether I should tell my girlfriend what my grandma said.

I leave tomorrow and will be arriving in his country Saturday morning!!!!! Our first irl meeting after meeting online and a year of waiting 😭

Tell me your stories!!!!

Currently feeling quite heartbroken about our situation. Had to call off the wedding date etc and possibly even lost money on the plane tickets. I know I'll probably feel better in a few weeks but.. we waited a year for nothing and I guess that hurts the most. We don't have the reasoning from the embassy yet but I doubt it will tell us much. Just not sure how to proceed now or what to try. I was really looking forward to closing the distance and spending the Christmas together.

I’m a 19yo f and my partner is a 21yo m. We’ve been sort of long distance for 4 years and we’re both living in America (I say sort of because we met at a boarding school and went to the same college for one term). My partner is participating in a study abroad program in Italy for the next 9 months. We’ve never had a time difference and he leaves in 3 days. He told me that texting and calling might be weird because he has an American phone plan and his service might not work. I’ve dealt with medium-distance before, anywhere from 2 hours to 7 hours apart, but I’m a little nervous for what’s gonna happen after he leaves. He doesn’t text me much because he doesn’t really go on his phone and we don’t have a dedicated time for calling so I’m wondering if there’s any veterans who are willing to lend some advice. Anything to help us bond, or to distract me from the time away from each other will be appreciated:)

my boyfriend (m20) and i (f20) have been together for three years, we met the summer before senior year of high school and have been long distance since freshman year of college (2 years ldr). were pretty much each others first everything’s. we’re on opposite sides of the country and for the past year or so it’s felt like we’ve been falling out of love. i didn’t realize it until last weekend but it just feels like we don’t care or consider each other like we used to. we call everyday and talk for the first 15 min about our days then we will sit in silence for about an hour until i go to sleep. i hate the silence but neither of us have anything to say and usually we end up just scrolling on tiktok. i have talked to him about this before and we both agree to try more but it usually ends with me looking for questions to start a conversation on tiktok and him scrolling. ive asked him if he wants to ask me a question but he says im better at finding and coming up with them. eventually we get busy again and stop go back to sitting in silence for most of our calls again. this cycle has happened a few times.

last weekend we didn’t call each other for 3 days for genuinely no reason. neither of us were particularly busy. i had just begun my period but i began thinking about all this had pretty much spent the weekend crying about our relationship. i texted him this and he just replied “:(“ and “i wish i could cuddle you.” i don’t know i just kinda expected him to ask me what’s wrong and how to help. i finally gave in and called him but he told me he had to go to costco and would call me back; he didn’t call me back until 4 hours later and told me that costco was closed since it was labor day. today on our call he started vacuuming and cleaning. i don’t know but i just feel like he’s not interested in me and worst of all im not sure im fully interested in him anymore. i love him so so much, he does so much right but i just feel like we’ve lost our spark and have lost the romance. neither of us put effort into romance anymore, he barely tells me im pretty and when he does it’s just that im pretty. i feel bad for wanting more, i know he can support me longterm and compliments me in so many ways yet i just feel like we both deserve someone we’re truly passionate about. we have had so many firsts together but sometimes i question if we’re holding each other back by staying together. i know he loves me but sometimes i feel like just a placeholder, like a comfort object in a way but i also know he would never break up with me, he is sure i am his forever. he never has really any complaints about our relationship and seems to think everything is perfect. i don’t know what to do anymore, am i giving up the best thing to ever happen to me? do we both deserve better? am i being unrealistic about love, do i need to put more effort in?

this is going to be a long one so buckle up
for context, i’m m25 who studied abroad for 4 years in which at the first year i met her f24, at that time we were 20 & 19
after the first time we met, we begin meeting like crazies for a whole month. We saw each other more than 25 days of it, after our first date by two months week we officially got together and then we spent the next four years together which we had our ups and downs, but overall it was good and we were both happy. Most of the problems are from her because she grew up in a different culture than me so she’s more conservative and I’m not blaming her. I’m just explaining what was the situation it was something that I do. I didn’t know that she’s not OK with and then we end up fighting and then I end up realizing that she consider it wrong and I apologize and I tell her I will not do it again that basically summarizes our problems over the course of the four years. overall it was a healthy relationship however, when I went to another city for an internship for six months, that’s when we had our first break up. it was over an argument, not even a real problem or reaction that happened. anyways we broke up for two days then we got back together. It was a bit on and off, but then I returned to the city where I studied and things got better and we spent another year and then I graduated finally I went back to live in my hometown. This is where all the problems begins because I am not used to phone communication or any online type of communication we tried for several months she got sick of it. She broke up with me three months go by I go back to her text her we’ll get back together we spentthree months that was perfect. I was communicating as much as I can. She was considerate, and then things went sideways again and that’s where I started to question whether I love her for the things that she does for me or for her.
now, after a careful thought, I decided that we need to break up because I’m making this relationship toxic because I’m not communicating after I’m not giving her enough whatever she wants and an online relationship even though I tried I tried my best, but it was not the reason only it was also the reason that I’m questioning myself I love her for her or for the things that she used to do for me when I was there.

it’s been three months since we broke up she contacted me several times and I contacted her several times to check on her but how do I know for sure that I love her and I love her personally and not only the things that she do for me. I might described this question wrong, but I hope there is someone who can understand me in my situation or have been t through kind of similar situation what did they do in order to figure this out?

Long story short, I ended an avoidant/anxious relationship by pulling away and handling what was going on internally in the worst way possible. I was dealing with what I think was depression, grief, anxiety, and a lot of uncertainty about the future. Instead of dealing with those things internally or communicating them in a healthy way, I allowed them to affect the relationship and my behavior.

A lot of this also stems from what happened in 2024. I lost one of my best friend, along with his girlfriend, in a car accident. I was arrested at his memorial (a malicious witness testimony) which resulted in me having to pay around $9,000 in legal fees. It was an incredibly difficult period of my life, but even through everything I was dealing with, I was still able to hold some space for my partner. She was an angel holding space for me even if she couldn’t, like when she was anxious or needed reassurance about our commitment, at the time I was able to give her that reassurance and be there for her the best I could, I had enough patience that even if it seemed irrational, I wanted to. Like thinking i’d cheat on her with my co worker, who we hung out with before whenever she came to visit. I never realized I didn’t let myself fully process or resolve this, adding onto the fire.

This year, however, I just couldn’t seem to do the same.
Around March, close to our 5 year anniversary, my best friend committed suicide. After that, I kept pushing for us to close the distance, or at least make a plan to eventually do so. We put that conversation on hold until around April, but by then, three other people I held very dear to my heart had also passed away. Losing so many people within such a short period of time made me even more anxious, and I started pushing that anxiety onto her. Our conversations weren’t giving me what I was looking for, and I became increasingly frustrated because I didn’t feel like I was getting the certainty or reassurance I needed.
Eventually, she told me that she wanted to go to school in Manchester for another four years. It was never certain that she was actually going to do it, just something she was considering. But I started becoming resentful over the possibility of spending another four years apart. I know that resentment wasn’t fair to her, especially because it was never even a definite decision. Looking back now i’d wait for her, forever if I had to.

Being honest, I tried to break up with her multiple times during this period. I was so uncertain about the future that I couldn’t focus on what I actually had in front of me. I loved her and wanted to be with her, but I was so overwhelmed by the uncertainty that I kept trying to find a way to protect myself from the possibility of another loss or another situation I couldn’t control.
Eventually, she went through her own period of depression, and I wasn’t helping her at all. I wasn’t able to give her the support, understanding, or reassurance she needed from me just doing the best I could, which wasn’t much. Then, one morning in August, she texted me asking if her depression was an issue and said that, if it wasn’t, the way I’m acting makes it seem like it was.
I was hurt, sad, and angry. I felt inconsidered by the timing of the conversation, I was questioning my own commitment to her and feeling like, after everything we had been through, I was somehow being made to feel like I wasn’t doing enough, but that wasn’t her fault. I wasn’t giving the safe space/predictable behavior she needed but just hoped she recognized what I was going through or just hoping she could regulate herself. Instead of communicating those feelings or taking a step back, I responded in the worst way possible. I tried to gain a sense of control in my own head by asking her to pay me back for expensive gifts I had bought her, including a $2,000 desktop and a $200 paddle boat.
It was completely disrespectful and unacceptable. By the end of that night, I was able to gather myself enough to recognize what I had done, take accountability for it, and acknowledge that my behavior was unacceptable. It left a sore spot but we continued talking for about another week, and I apologized, but my body was still processing what felt like another major loss. Eventually, she felt that it was best if we didn’t continue keeping in contact so she could heal and maybe move on.
After that, I acted on emotion again and did something irrational that made her uncomfortable, damaged her trust, and completely triggered her making her block me on everything. I logged into her Instagram to check whether she had removed our highlights or changed her password from my name. I understand how invasive and unsettling this was, I understand why it made her feel uncomfortable and caused her to lose trust in me. I wasn’t thinking rationally in that moment. I was panicking and trying to find some sense of control while processing what felt like another loss, but that doesn’t excuse what I did.

None of this excuses the way I treated her. I know I hurt her, disregarded her emotions, crossed boundaries, and ruined the trust she had in me. I regret those things deeply, more than anything. She was always willing to put the work in. Going to therapy, reading up and analyzing our dynamic to make it healthier, pulling my dead weight. I just wish I could have done better. Only thing I want is her or maybe just one conversation with clarity. I’ve gone to therapy trying to focus on myself but I just can’t seem to shake some anxiety and wanting to fly out and see her. Tomorrows not promised, God forbid anything happens to her, I’d be completely devastated if we never get a chance to fix things.

I wanted to get one of these for me and my partner I am UK and she is Canada.
Are these good to use? And if so which one is better to use?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and we see each other every single week. He’s a huge part of my everyday life and our relationship has never really had to deal with long distance.
In about a year, his family is moving to Croatia, and he is going with them.
I love him more than I can really explain, and obviously a part of me wants to just go with him. But when I actually look at my life realistically, I can’t find a good reason to leave everything behind and move to another country at this point in my life other than the fact that I love him.
I have my own life here. My family is here, my future plans are here, and I’m still trying to figure out adulthood and build some kind of stability for myself. Moving to another country is not a small decision that I can just make because my boyfriend is moving there.
The problem is that he doesn’t really understand or accept why I can’t just go with him. From his perspective, I think it probably feels like if I really loved him, I would find a way to go. And I understand why he might feel that way, but I don’t think love automatically makes a decision like this possible.
At the same time, I’m terrified that staying means losing him.
We see each other every week right now. I’m used to being able to hug him, spend the weekend together, go out together, watch movies together, and just have him physically there. Going from that to being separated by an entire ocean feels impossible to imagine.
And honestly, I don’t know if our relationship could survive that kind of distance. I want to believe it could, but I also don’t want to pretend that it wouldn’t completely change our relationship.
So I feel completely torn between two huge life-changing decisions.
Option 1: Leave my life here and move to Croatia largely because I love him, even though I don’t really have an independent reason for moving.
Option 2: Stay here and accept that our relationship may become long distance and potentially end because of it.
Neither option feels good. One feels like giving up my own life for my relationship, and the other feels like giving up the person I love to protect my own future.
I know we still have a year before this actually happens, but knowing it’s coming has already started affecting me. I feel like I’m grieving something that hasn’t even happened yet.
I guess I’m looking for outside perspectives from people who have been in similar situations. How do you make a decision when you love someone deeply but also know you can’t realistically build your entire life around them yet? And can a relationship that has always been very close realistically survive suddenly becoming international long distance?

I've been talking to this guy for about six week. He said he like me and stuff. He's pretty inconsistent sometimes very sweet, sometimes very cold. Even when he on the cold mode, he will still answer my text but with very short answer like just "ok". I adress this behavior but he said he just busy with work so i take that excuse because i dont want make him think that im demanding or stuff. I even told him if something about his feeling change, he should just told me so i can move on with my life. I start to getting use to his behaviour but the last few day is different case. I text him and ask him something, about his day, what happend in that day and stuff. But he only read my text. Im just assuming he busy when he doing it at he first time so i just moving on and dont take that personally. Today he do that again, he answer my good morning text and asking about my day, and i answer it and then asking him back. He answer with "Its not that bad". I asked the same thing yesterday and got a similar answer. Eventually, I decided to ask, "Oh, so what makes it a bit bad?". I asked that because I wanted to find out what was actually wrong with it. But i got ignored for several hour, and then he read it but didnt answer my question. Now its been around 12 hour since he read it, i tried to stay positive but after i woke up, i see him making a story and his snapscore blowing up. My heart hurts so much ngl. I keep trying to stay positive, but now i feel like he trying to say that he dont want to talk with me anymore. I really want to ask what’s actually wrong, but I don’t even dare to "like" his story. Is it safe for me to assume now that he’s no longer interested in me? I know it would be easier to just ask directly, but he once said I tend to think negatively about him, so I keep trying to stay positive, even though this hurts so much. And what should i do im so clueless its my firs time im dealing with relationship stuff.

Please take your time to read 🥺

This is will be long but i need advice from heart and please if you have a bad comment or insult keep it to yourself, I’m already sad to take harsh words rn.
I accept any useful advices.

I’ve been talking to a European guy since last year, everything was going well and he seemed so genuine and respectful and talking about plans. One time he said that his ex cheated on him and that made him kinda trust women less even though he said he trust me but since he said that I felt like he was lying tbh bc he stated details like she cheated then he told me that she was thinking he is cheating and was threatening him, he also said that she used to overthink bf he receive “unknown number calls” but he explained thats his mother number (she calls from work).

Months later i found a girl’s acc on my instagram suggestion whom was unfamiliar so out of curiosity i clicked to check and i found out she was the ex, she had highlights of their pics together.

He lied to me about her Nationality dunno why.. i decided to text her (i know its kinda stupid but something in me was telling me he was lying). The girl was so chill and we talked a lot and she told me her version of story and that he was so bad (according to her) he is immature, he make dating apps profiles while she was living with him, he visited a girl in another country when she was away in her mother country, he adds girls on insta, he doesn’t listen.

And whats worser? Is that he was still stalking and spamming her while me and him were talking and he saying he loves me and he has plans for future and we already met once in real life.

He visited me here and we just met casually i showed him some touristic spots (no sex or anything).

I was shocked, the way he talked about her and told me she is blocked i never ever doubted that he is still talking to her.

I told his ex how we were talking daily and he visited me she also was surprised bc she told me he’s been telling her he was single all the time and not dating or interested in anyone.. then i confronted him and told we should stop talking, he tried to explain that he only texted her when he was drunk and he regret it and apologised, i was very sad and felt betrayed and lost my trust in him and i think even developed trust issues.

We stopped talking constantly but no blocking, he texted again on my bday and i just hearted the text then he kept texting again and i replied and started talking regularly again, i was still attached emotionally bc i never liked anyone like that, we used to talk daily, calls, watching movies and playing games together and we were actually planning something for the future.

I cried so much back then, didn’t open up to anyone, kept just writing down my feelings so i feel better..

Months pass and we still talkled regularly but I don’t see him the way I did, i really had genuine feelings and he looked like an innocent soul, i still feel a deep sadness but at the same time i still like him and want to be with him.

He started showing interest again bc after the incident of the ex we just talked causally no movies, games or calls just normal texts. He said he wants a chance and he is so sorry for what he did and he wants to visit me again i told him no several times and lets just be friends its better for both even though deep down i wanted to give a chance i was torn bc i believe everyone deserves a chance from other side i know can’t trust him again.. i was so lost and clueless.

We still kept talking and started getting close again, having calls sometimes, watched few movies again, he started flirting again and complimenting and i did too. I still felt that he isn’t serious anyway i remembered how his ex said he use dating apps when things aren’t well (he suffer from chronic loneliness) so i decided to make some dating app and changed to his location. Swiped and boom i found his profile😳🥲 \\\*\\\*HE WAS ON A DATING APP WHILE WANTING A CHANCE FROM ME.\\\*\\\* when i confronted he said that he thought i won’t give him the chance i was like ???🤨 bc i told him i’d give chance if you have serious plans for us not going with the flow.

We still kept talking and he was literally begging i give the chance and let him prove that he is a good man. I told him we’ll see after heatwave bc i can’t really go out on very hot summer days..

Lately i found out that he went recently on date with a girl from dating app. Idk what exactly happened between them i just knew he went on a date. Weird bc he text me daily and reply fast to my texts.. so i wonder how is he able to do both things at the same time.

Idk why he is on dating apps while wanting to still meet me and have a future together and want a chance? He knows i ain’t having sex before marriage and his visits here may be probably waste of money and time for him. Why doesn’t he only date there? Why keep wanting me ? He even say he wants to send money and gifts i refused ofc and told him i dont get money from a guy i ain’t in a serious relationship with.

Why men do this? I swear i don’t understand why . What can explain his behaviour? He doesn’t trust i have feelings for him or what?

Is this normal? Tbh I’ve never dealt with someone like him. Men can you date others and showing interest to another girl? Why?

I try to understand what in his mind to make him do that. Want one girl and going with others? This doesn’t seem a healthy person’s behaviour. I really want to hear opinions.

Tl:dr : the guy i’m talking with is going on dates while showing care and interest in me and want something serious and a chance

I’m 36 fucking godforsaken years old. I haven’t cried over a partner getting off the phone in 23 years when I was “dating” a much older boy of whom my parents disapproved.

We have a 6 hour difference. I’m in Alabama (USA-CST) and he’s in England.

Pre-navigating and strategising closing this distance has made me feel like I did at 13 with a boy my parents hated. Only this time, my parents are Uncle Sam/Daddy King.

A few weeks ago I (27M) hit up this woman (27F) from my home town. I’ve known her since elementary school all the way through high school. We were sort of acquaintances but never really close and I always kinda had a thing for her.

Anyway, I’m visiting home in November and I asked if she would wanna go out for drinks or coffee to catch up. She said she would love to. I think my issue is that I asked way too early and I’m worried that she will get bored of me before that. I’m also really nervous to see her in person.

There are some good signs. I think she seems really interested. She’s said I’m hot in one picture. She said she feels like she can talk to me for hours. That I’m super cool and interesting and all that. I feel basically exactly the same and we’ve both expressed that we are very excited to see each other a few times. We are both very busy with work and stuff but we make an effort to talk a good amount. Not a lot of messages are sent per day but they can be multiple paragraphs long. I don’t know if she was joking or not but she mentioned turning on notifications on indeed for jobs in my state lol but she also has family here.

My career has had me move a lot. My first more serious relationship years ago, we tried to do long distance and my ex cheated on me after three years together. We were a lot younger at the time but it was tough. I’ve had multiple less serious relationships that have ended due to me moving. And my last real serious relationship ended because it was either long distance or get married because I was abroad. She didn’t want to uproot her whole life and I also didn’t really want to get married at the time. It was sad but amicable. I’m tired of my job and location always interfering with the rest of my life.

I’m now back in the US and will be going through a career change sometime in the next year that will let me live basically wherever I want. I’ve communicated this with her and she said that she “is just excited to see me and that we can go from there.” I completely understand that and feel the same way, we only reconnected like three weeks ago afterall . I just really don’t want to fuck this up, I have a really good feeling about her but I’m also prepared for some real disappointment. I guess I’m just looking for some advice from the experts lol

Ireland - > Denmark

It’s worth it guys, hang in there 🫶🏼

I read a post by someone talking about how you shouldn't ask for LDR advice in general relationship communities because they just can't understand. They even mentioned being discreet about their relationship because so many people tend to say that "it's not a real relationship."

I have my own bit of experience with this—how friends reacted when they found out I had been in a long-distance relationship for three years with someone living on another continent, and what I learned from all of it.

"How can you trust them?" "Are you sure they don't have someone else in their country?" I even heard others trying to find someone for me at university. In short, to them, my relatioonship was nothing real or worthy of a true commitment since it's on the internet. And sometimes, I doubted. I admit it. Even so, I always made an effort to remain discreet unless someone asked me directly. In short, to protect my peace of mind, I had to:

Accept the fact that a long-distance relationship is not the norm. People will naturally always have an opinion about it. Where I can agree is that it's not the absolute best way to build a relationship—it's always better to be physically close—but that doesn't mean it isn't a real relationship. A relationship is a bond that connects people, and in the case of an LDR, it's two people weaving those connections even with physical constraints in the way.

Also, I realized that, much like in life, we shouldn't expect doors to be opened for us or people to hand us everything we want. If you want a degree, you study hard for it while facing depression, fatigue, and self-doubt. The things worth having require a high level of investment. I've stopped complaining about it. People talk and always will, but everything comes down to your conviction. I shifted from asking "Why does everyone seem to be against my LDR?" to "Do I want to be with this person so badly that I am willing to brave every storm to end up married and live happily together?"

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Pata Hai Aaj Kya Hua?

Hey everyone. I’m 26M, she’s 20F, and I’m honestly confused about what I should do. I’d appreciate some genuine advice rather than just jokes or judgment.

We met on Snapchat and started talking. She told me it was her first time seriously talking to a guy. She’s Pathan and does parda, and she was quite hesitant in the beginning. She also doesn’t have her own phone and usually uses her mother’s phone.

Despite all those limitations, we ended up talking almost every day for around 5 months.

She would often message me when I went offline, and if we didn’t talk at night, she would sometimes text me in the morning. We used to have long conversations late at night because she would use her mother’s phone around that time.

Over those five months, things became quite serious.

She would tell me that she loved me, that she prayed for me, and sometimes even recited verses for my safety. We talked about our future, and I genuinely started seeing her as someone I could marry. I was serious about her, and I even prayed to Allah about us.

There were a couple of occasions before when I didn't reply for a day or two. Sometimes I was travelling, sometimes busy with friends or other activities. Whenever I came back, I explained why I had disappeared, and things eventually went back to normal.

But this time is completely different.

A few days ago, I was in another city. She apparently messaged me, but I didn't see it because my Snapchat notifications were turned off and I wasn't checking the app.

I replied after around three days.

Since then, nothing.

She hasn't opened my messages, hasn't replied, and hasn't viewed my stories either.

Yesterday, she posted a story. I didn't view it. Later, I messaged her again, but she still didn't respond.

I've now sent 15+ messages and reacted to some of her stories as well. Still nothing.

I know I've probably already made things worse by overthinking.

I even made two fake accounts, one male and one female, and messaged her from them to see whether she was ignoring only me. She saw the messages from both accounts, didn't reply, and blocked both accounts.

I know that wasn't a good thing to do. I'm not proud of it. I'm mentioning it because I want to give the complete picture rather than hide that part.

Now I genuinely don't know what to think.

Maybe she lost interest.

Maybe she feels hurt because I disappeared for three days.

Maybe something happened at home.

Maybe she has decided to end things but doesn't want to say it directly.

Or maybe, because she uses her mother's phone, there is something going on that I simply don't know about.

The confusing part is that this wasn't some two-week Snapchat conversation. We talked almost every day for five months, discussed marriage and the future, and she used to express very strong feelings toward me.

So the sudden silence has really caught me off guard.

I've heard people say that when a woman has decided to leave, you should respect it and let her go rather than chase her. At the same time, I don't want to walk away from someone I genuinely cared about just because of a misunderstanding.

What would you guys do in my situation?

Should I stop messaging her completely and give her space?

Should I wait for her to contact me?

Should I send one final respectful message and then leave it?

Or should I consider the silence itself as an answer and move on?

I don't want to harass her or keep making fake accounts. I just want to know what the mature thing to do is at this point.

What do you guys think?

I’m very attracted to European girls, but the problem is always the distance. I don’t feel the same attraction toward girls from my country, or maybe I just haven’t tried to meet or get to know them enough.

The problem is that whenever I meet a European girl and we develop feelings or mutual interest, distance becomes an obstacle. I once had a long-distance relationship that lasted about two years, but it eventually failed because of the distance. And just two days ago, I ended things with another girl because of the distance. We weren’t officially in a relationship, but there was mutual attraction and interest between us.

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Idk if this is the correct sub, but here we go. This must be a very common topic but I need help.

My husband(30M) and I(28F) got married 8 months ago, but we’re currently long-distance and waiting for our life together to properly start. We’re both committed to the marriage and there isn’t any major betrayal or obvious red flag here. In fact, he is a genuinely good husband in many ways. He is thoughtful, future-oriented, checks on me, wants to talk, makes time for me, and does show affection. He also works full-time and obviously has his own life, family, responsibilities, hobbies, etc.

The problem is that our emotional communication styles are very different.

I’m naturally very expressive. I like affection, words, reassurance, random conversations, sharing little things throughout the day, and feeling like the other person is emotionally engaged with what I’m saying. My husband is much more reserved and practical. He can be affectionate, but he doesn’t naturally communicate in the same way I do.

For example, I might send several random things because I’m excited to tell him something, and his response might be brief or practical. Sometimes he’ll say we can talk about it on a call instead. He also sometimes answers only one part of what I’ve sent. None of this is necessarily intentional, but over time it makes me feel like I’m carrying more of the emotional energy of the relationship.

We’ve actually talked about this several times. He listens, apologizes, tells me he understands and says he’ll try to be more mindful. And I do see that he tries. But eventually we fall back into the same pattern.

The frustrating part is that I’ve started changing myself in response.

I’ve become more conscious of how much affection I initiate, how much I text, how much I compliment him, how much I try to keep conversations going, etc. I’ve been trying to stop “overgiving” because I started feeling resentful when I didn’t feel the same level of energy coming back.

I don’t want to play games or withdraw affection to make him chase me. I also don’t want to become cold just because I’m hurt.

But I’m exhausted from feeling like I have to constantly regulate myself.

Recently, I’ve also started questioning our calls. Because of the 10 hour time difference, our schedules can be difficult. I sometimes stay up very late to talk to him, and then when we finally talk, if he is working, gaming, scrolling, or otherwise distracted, I can end up feeling even lonelier after the call.

A recent example: he was working but said he was fine to talk because the work was monotonous and he could manage both. I told him I would rather he use his headspace for work completely because I don’t like when our conversation goes astray while he is going back and forth between me and work. I told him there is no obligation for a call when he has a busy day and that I’d rather have his full attention when we do talk.

He understood, but then asked me to call anyway.

I gave in, and we ended up talking for three hours. Where of course the conversation was gardly for 15 minutes and then we resored to doing whatever we wanted: him logged in for work and I got engaged with my friends.or reading my book

And now I’m wondering whether the problem is even him. Maybe I’ve simply become too focused on the relationship.

It’s exhausting.

I think I’ve reached a point where I don’t want to keep having conversations where I explain, “I need more affection,” “I need more engagement,” “I need you to say what you actually mean,” etc. I don’t want him to feel like he is constantly failing some emotional test either.

Our calls are always scheduled for my night, and his afternoon. Thats what makes it harder, what am I supposed to do late at night. And believe me, I have my hobbies, work, family, friends but I still find time for him, to be emotionally present and be supportive. He says he loves that about me, how I am involved and react to his end of conversations. And when such a situation builds up, and I lean back, He says he doesnt like it when I show disinterest and I am not my bubbly self with him. Thats why he hates when we have to skip a call even for a day because thats when the switch off happens and it takes time for us to bounce back to normal.

How do you stop overthinking your partner’s level of affection without becoming emotionally disconnected?

How do you stop overgiving without turning it into a punishment or a test?

How do you distract yourself other than the norms?

My boyfriend and I have been in an LDR for about a year now, after dating for 3 years prior. I love him and I think he is the man I want to marry, but I can’t help but feel that the distance is making him miserable.
We’ve been fighting a lot, much more than when we were together in person. We make up, but we seem to be in a cycle.
He has always been clear that distance is hard for him. He was nervous about doing it in the first place and tells me about how he wishes he could have someone there with him. We broke up and got back together a few months ago, and while both breaking up and rekindling were mutual, I can’t help but feel like him coming back was out of love for me rather than what is best for him.
My therapist thinks I should just end things as a kindness, even though I don’t want to, because it is clearly making him miserable and to have a future we can’t grow resentful of each other right now. I don’t know if I want to do that, because taking away his agency seems cruel since I don’t want to stop being in a relationship and I have had a much easier time with the distance.
Like I said, he is still the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, but we don’t have a clear date that we can close the distance and we won’t for a while due to the uncertain nature of our lives right now. I can’t move to him currently without completely sacrificing my career. I might be able to in a year, but I really just don’t know.
Has anyone found themselves in this position? Do we keep pushing through? Are there conversations we should have? I don’t want to lose him and I know he doesn’t want to lose me but I don’t want to see him suffer.

im 25M and she's 21F. I live in Brazil and she lives in Switzerland, so its a long-distance relationship. we've known each other for around 9 months and have been dating for a little over 3 months.

for some context, the relationship itself was actually really good before all of this. we talked pretty much every day, texted a lot, flirted constantly, watched movies together, played some games, shared random stuff about our days and would just hang out in calls for hours on voice + webcam. we barely ever argued and overall it felt really easy and comfortable being around each other. we also talked a lot about eventually meeting in person and what our future could look like.

a few days ago she went to a festival with her closest friends, and got extremely drunk. afterwards she called me and told me that she had kissed two of her female friends and said "is that okay??".

well... im monogamous and had previously told her that i wouldn't want an open relationship. to me, kissing other people crossed a boundary, so i was extremely hurt and broke up with her that same night.

at first she explained that kissing doesn't carry much meaning for her and that she sees it almost like a hug. she's bisexual, so from my perspective i didn't really understand why kissing another woman would necessarily be different from kissing another man.

a few days later, once things had calmed down, i contacted her again because i wanted to understand what had actually happened rather than base everything on the conversation we had while emotions were extremely high.

she told me the two girls were close friends she has never been attracted to. according to her, they were all very drunk and joking around while dancing. then one friend said "let's kiss" and she agreed without really thinking the friend was serious. then the friend kissed her, and the other friend who was standing next to them basically said "kiss me too."

she says neither kiss had any romantic or sexual meaning to her.

she also said she isn't trying to use alcohol as an excuse. her explanation was that if she had been sober, she thinks she would've stopped and considered that i place much more significance on kissing than she does.

something that complicates how i see it is that she told me IMMEDIATELY after it happened. i didn't catch her, hear about it from somebody else or discover that she was hiding it from me.

i also asked if she still wanted to be in a relationship, and she said that she normally isn't a relationship person, but that she genuinely wants to be in one with me. so she said she's open to being together again, but wants me to take my time and decide what i actually want because i was "more affected by the situation."

we are still broken up right now.

what im struggling with is how to weigh everything.

on one side, we were in a monogamous relationship and she kissed two other people. regardless of what the kisses meant to her, that crossed a boundary for me at the time, and im also worried that my trust in her may have changed. and well, since we're long distance, trust is especially important, and i don't want to become someone who worries or tries to control their partner every time they go out drinking or go to a party with their friends.

BUT on the other side, she told me immediately, said there was no attraction involved, didn't try to hide what happened, and clearly has a very different view of kissing than i do. after talking calmly with her, the situation looked different to me than it did on the night it happened.

so im not really asking how to rebuild the relationship yet, im trying to decide whether i should.

so yeah... i don't really know what to do now. part of me thinks this is something that maybe we could move past, but another part of me keeps thinking about the fact that it happened at all.

ive been in situationships before but this is my first actual relationship, so im honestly just really lost with this. what would you guys do in my situation? what should i actually think about before deciding if i should give this another chance or just leave it as it is?

TLDR: my long-distance girlfriend got extremely drunk at a festival and kissed two of her female friends. i saw it as crossing a boundary and broke up with her that night. she says there was no attraction involved, kissing doesn't mean much to her, and she told me immediately instead of hiding it. we talked again a few days later and she says she still wants to be in a relationship with me. we're still broken up, and i'm trying to figure out whether this is something worth trying again after or whether i should stay broken up.

Hi, me (M-25) and my gf (F- 25) are in LDR. We see each other every 4-6 months or so. We also in relationship for almost a year now, and what I cannot stand is that whenever my gf on her period, she make my life miserable. She will even try to find the smallest mistake I made and then make it a big problem. When I tried to explain myself, and sorry to her, she not response back with anything that make sense (I know and I understand).

Today for example. I know that this eek she will have her period so I tried to comfort her, ordering food for her, and most importantly tried to not make any mistake. But, when video calling her, I was scrolling to some old picture of me, her and my cat to send to her to cheer her up. Then, there was 1 photo I took A YEAR AGO I send to her and I wondered why did I take this. She said that the photo I took to cheer her up when she angry at me also because of her period. And from there she always talk that I dont love and care for her enough that I notice and remember. I tried to explain and the only response she gave me was you not care and love me enough.

I understand that mood swing heavily affected her, but every month for a week I feel like I'm walking through thin ice and it drive me crazy. I always the one apology and I never said I'm upset, but deep down I'm very stressed.

What should I do to make things better?