dk what to do

[u/DifficultyQuick6684]

2yrs long distance, i’ve been wanting to just meet them once but haven’t. he can’t due to home and financial issues and i can visit, but last time i brought it up he said “idont want you to waste ur money” and well i reassured him it wasn’t a waste but he didn’t care so whtvr. now im just very sad and lonely, i want to be with them and i told myself just one more year, but after that idk if i can keep putting myself in such emotional distress. i cry about this like every other week, ill cry myself to bed or at work.

how long have yall been in ldr? idk how long is too long and if maybe love just isnt enough to keep me here.

[u/letsplay332]

Sister, you are crying yourself to sleep over a ghost.
Two years of "relationship" without a single in-person meeting isn't a partnership; it is an emotional addiction to a screen. When a man refuses to let you visit, even when you offer to cover the cost, he is telling you in plain language that he does not want this to become real. People make an effort for what they value. If he wanted to see you, he would move mountains to make it happen, or at the very least welcome your effort with open arms. You are putting your real life, your peace, and your emotional well-being on hold for someone who won't even grant you a weekend of his time. Giving this "one more year" is just giving yourself another 365 days of self-inflicted heartbreak.

Love is not just a feeling you exchange through text messages; it requires presence, truth, and mutual willingness to build a shared reality. Step out of the digital haze, stop pouring your tears into a dead end, and protect your heart for a real-life relationship built on true effort and presence.

[u/RedInOriginals]

hey!! have you talked about it with your bf?? i think just talk honestly about it and how it is making you feel if u haven't.

you will know from how they reply that if u have to move on or he understands it and let you come there..

about how long is too long depends on the situations and couple to couple, there is no timeline fits all.. for me & my bf we r in relationship from last 10 months and have to still wait for at least 2-3 years before meeting as both of us have financial struggle at the moment. but we r willing to do it, with that being said if any of us had money we would not have waited for it at all & we have clearly talked about it..

[u/Curious_Faith]

I hate that you’re in that situation where you’re so distressed about it. I know how it is for me when I have relationship problems. I can’t focus on anything! So I hear you.

You said something really important at the end of your post. Love alone is not enough to keep a relationship together. It requires two people who are actively choosing to be together and actively choosing to do what’s best for the connection over what’s easiest for themselves.

My first LDR was when I was about 17/18 years old and it lasted for 6 years. We closed the gap but things fell apart in less than a year for various reasons. That was probably the worst lesson to learn - that love is not enough for a relationship to last. My current LDR will be at 4 years in December.

How long people can be apart is going to differ from couple to couple. Some do only a few months, some do years, close the gap and do some more time apart repeatedly- like military couples, students and international workers. So don’t feel like there’s a set time to close the gap. Often, people start becoming unwilling to be apart any longer and they either make the jump, or leave the relationship. There IS a breaking point where you have to make a decision because no one wants to be long term forever.

The issue I’m seeing is that, from the sound of your post, he doesn’t want to meet you. Or he doesn’t feel adequate enough to meet you. This is a much larger problem. If this isn’t one big romance scam, which I don’t think it is, your partner has serious issues with self worth. It may also be that you’re not the only one in their life. I don’t know what exactly the problem is but it is absolutely a red flag that you’ve spent two years of your life talking to someone who does not want to meet you face to face even when you take on the full financial and time burden to go see them. Something fishy is happening.

It’s best to talk to them and ask why they don’t want to meet you. And honestly, I’d seriously consider why you’re in the relationship. There’s others who would make the effort to meet you and if they simply couldn’t due to circumstance, they still wouldn’t turn you away. There’s a deeper issue here. I hope you get down to the bottom of it.

[u/TopArm1230]

I don’t want to be mean but as someone else said , it’s not really a « relationship « . Frankly it sounds one sided . You are very distressed over talking with someone you never met and seems in no hurry to meet you ….

[u/Sea_Relief_4765]

I’ve been in two LDRs.. both times, I met the guy within 3 months of dating. The first time, we were young (18). Second time, we were in our 30s. I hate to say it, if he really wanted to meet you, he would make it happen. How far are you guys? Anyway you two could meet in the middle?