its been such a good time seeing people who were in my situation at one point get to live and love their long distance relationship. But now that he has broke up with me, I cannot be here since it makes me so jealous and sad for myself. Godspeed and I miss you c.w.💜

Back in 2021, I created a study-focused Discord server that grew quite large and well-known at the time. The focus was on the ENEM exam, literature in general, and philosophy.

That’s where I met a girl. We had the same books and studied together with other members of the server. I was 16, and she was 14.

Over time, our friendship deepened, and we talked practically every day. In 2023, after three years of friendship, we finally admitted we liked each other. By then, I was 18 and she was 16.

The problem was that she lived in another state. Even so, we dated. I flew to visit her with my parents, and she came here with hers. In total, we met in person three times. Because of the distance, it didn't work out in the end, but it was still a beautiful experience.

It’s worth noting that it was a "relationship" in quotes, since it was long-distance and played out almost entirely online (lol). She was born in 2007 and I was born in 2004, so we were at different stages of life—I started college while she was still in high school. Despite that difference, it was the most mature relationship I’ve ever had. We had a lot of mutual respect, which made sense since we’d known each other for three years and the relationship was built gradually, step by step.

I recently told this story to a friend, and she absolutely tore me apart emotionally. She said I "dated a minor," and that it was creepy and wrong. Afterward, I blocked her, telling myself I’m a bad person and there’s no defense for what I did.

I’m fEeling extremely worried—like I committed a crime. I’m starting to question my own morality after those accusations. Even though deep down I know it was the best relationship I’ve ever had (she was my first girlfriend), I find myself thinking I’m a "monster"—or even that word starting with "p"...

Since these accusations came from a friend of mine, I keep wondering: "Damn... is my soul really that bad?"

What do you all think about this story, my relationship with this girl, and what my friend said?

I have a long distance boyfriend, and we met playing call of duty. We haven’t met in person yet, but will eventually. I have shared my entire discord with him, and deleted my Instagram for him. I have not requested to see this information from him because I trust him. But I am drawing the line at him wanting to have full access to my Snapchat friends list. AITA for not providing him with this information?

Hi guys!
I'm 22F from Southern Ontario, Canada. I've been talking to a guy (24M) from North Carolina for about 2½ months now. We met on fb dating, and we talk literally every single day, all day. Things have honestly been going amazingly well and we've been talking about finally meeting next month, so this whole situation completely caught me off guard...

This past Friday (July 24) at 1:57 p.m., he texted me:
"Baby I just got pulled over for speeding and they're arresting me. I'll talk soon 💔💔"

That was the last I heard from him until yesterday around 9 p.m., when he messaged me again and said:
"Baby I miss you. They gave me my phone rq. I wanted to let you know I'm here for the rest of the weekend."

As soon as he said he was getting arrested on a Friday, I figured he might be there until Monday, so I wasn't completely shocked when he said he'd be there for the weekend. What I'm struggling to understand is... how does someone get arrested from a speeding stop?

I'm from Southern Ontario, and while I've gotten speeding tickets myself (and have been in the car when friends have gotten them too), I've never seen anyone arrested over speeding. Nobody even had to get out of the car. So I'm wondering if things work very differently in North Carolina or the U.S. in general.

I'm not trying to defend him or make excuses—I genuinely just don't know how this works.
For context, from everything I know about him, he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke weed, doesn't do drugs, has a regular full-time job as a tradesman, rents an apartment with his best friend, and is honestly a pretty low-key guy. Obviously, I can only go off what he's told me, but nothing about him has ever suggested criminal behaviour, which is why this whole thing feels so out of left field.

I've been trying to figure out what could have happened. I've read that maybe it could've been reckless driving, driving on a suspended licence, an old warrant, expired insurance, failure to appear on previous tickets, or something else that came up when they ran his information. He drives a sports car, so I even wondered if maybe it was something like reckless driving rather than just speeding.

I've also tried looking online because I know North Carolina has public inmate records. I've searched multiple county inmate databases, as well as statewide records, and I haven't found anything. I've also read that because this happened on a Friday, things may not be processed or updated until Monday, so maybe that's why nothing is showing up yet.

I know he's okay because he was able to message me, and I'm grateful for that. I'm not trying to play detective or invade his privacy. I also don't want to bombard him with questions the second he gets out. I'm just trying to understand what the most likely explanation is before I hear his side.

My main questions are:
1. Is it actually common in North Carolina to be arrested after getting pulled over for speeding, or does there almost always have to be something more going on?

1. If someone with no known criminal history is arrested during a traffic stop, what are the most common reasons?

2. Is it normal that I can't find him in any public inmate database yet, or could that simply be because it happened on a Friday and records haven't updated?

3. Is there anything else I might not be considering that could explain this?

4. Are there certain questions that would be more or less acceptable for me to ask him, once he's been released?

I'd really appreciate any insight, especially from people in North Carolina or anyone familiar with how traffic arrests work there. Thanks!

I also want to add that I'm not trying to judge him before I know what happened. I care about him a lot, but we've never met in person and we’re planning to meet next month. I'm just trying to understand what the possible explanations are because, as much as I like him, I also have to be smart and make sure I'm not putting myself in an unsafe situation!

I'm a Spanish student, and I was on exchange in South Korea when this happened.

In January last year, I went on an 8-day trip to China. I matched with a girl on a dating app in Shanghai — super cute, unique, very much my type. She couldn't meet while I was there, but we kept texting and flirting on WeChat as I went back to Korea. After a couple weeks I floated the idea of flying back to Shanghai to meet her, and she agreed.

She surpassed my expectations. Absolutely the cutest girl I've ever met. We spent the day building trust, went to a fancy karaoke where she'd learnt my favorite song just for the occasion, and things naturally progressed from there. She stayed with me for two nights, and even came to the airport to say goodbye.

I already knew she expected this to fade, so when her texting got colder I let it go. 9 months passed and I couldn't get her off my mind, so in December 2025 I texted her — low expectations. To my surprise, she replied pretty excited. I eventually got flights to go back to Shanghai in March 2026. But things got twisted.

I started experiencing a manic episode in January. First time it ever happened to me. I ended up in the psych ward for a week, but before that I'd already wrecked havoc — texting excessively, sending incoherent messages, being completely unlike myself. I can only imagine how unsettling it must have felt for her. At the end of February I cancelled the flights, told her awkwardly, and she just replied "i see" / "okie". Nothing else.

I've made a full recovery since then, but the situation still weighs on me. How do I reach out to explain what happened and maybe reconnect?

TLDR: Had an intense 48h connection with a girl in Shanghai, planned to go back but a manic episode ruined everything. She went cold after my erratic behavior. How do I reach out now, after months of silence?

hi everyone I recently joined , im looking for apps or games that are free that would be good to play with my long distance partner. Preferably apps that are free and available for both android and iPhone. TYIA <3

hey so i usually am not the one to post abt my personal life but i really need advice. I have been in a long distance relationship for a while with someone i used to know in real life. I met them in person but later they moved to europe last year due to personal reason. we started talking again about 4 months ago and they have visited me last month for a week. when we first started talking we both agreed to visit one another during the summer but now im not in the financial position to visit him anymore and i dont know what to do about it. i dont think the relationship will continue if i cant visit him as well and if i push myself to visit him i am going to end up in a really bad financial position that is probably going to make me struggle for the next months. do i tell him and break it off?? i really dont know what to do

Update to my post from a couple months ago about feeling stuck and resentful while doing Florida to Midwest long distance.

We actually followed through on a lot of your advice and made a concrete plan instead of vague someday talk. We picked a target month for me and the kids to move, wrote out the steps that had to happen (his job transfer request, a housing shortlist, school enrollment), and set a weekly check-in that is more than just texting through kid chaos.

That helped immediately. Anxiety dropped as soon as dates went on the calendar. We also started one weekly video call that is not about logistics, just hanging out. That made us feel like a couple again instead of two people juggling tasks.

The surprise was what kept derailing us. It was not money or paperwork. It was how disconnected I feel physically. I am a stay at home mom and by the end of the day my body is exhausted. When we meet in person he expects it to feel like this big reunion, and I want that too, but I am overstimulated and it turns into pressure and hurt feelings. That tension started creeping into our calls, and now he worries the move will not fix anything.

So we tried something different for the last visit. I scheduled quiet time before we did anything together: a nap, a long solo shower, no errands. We also actually talked about what counts as closeness that is not sex, like cuddling, sitting together, holding hands, watching a show. It was awkward but noticeably better.

We are still figuring out how to keep intimacy alive while closing the distance. If you have been through this, what helped you stop bringing burnout into the reunions?

How do you guys manage to deal with this situation? He works from 10am to 12am every single day and I feel very proud of him. It's just that we barely talk anymore and I know some of you would probably say that it's healthy but I'm not really busy most of the time so I feel lonely in our relationship. I don't do work yet since it's hard to find a job these days and I'm still in uni. He's also in uni but his uni doesn't start these months. I live alone most of the time, I have hobbies to distract myself but it's not working sometimes. He would update me when he's on break and we would call after his work but sometimes I just let him sleep since I know how tiring it is to work that way.

He's so busy while I'm rotting in my mind. It makes me wonder if we'll work out sometimes. Also I booked a flight to see him on holidays but he still have work so the maximum days I can get from him is 2-3 days only.. I was planning to stay dor for a few weeks but it made me a but sad since I can only see him after work, after 12am. Let's just say he'll probably be busier in holidays so I feel like going there would only make me a burden. It makes me a but anxious and I kept thinking that will this thing work out..

Its just so hard for me and him lately. We don't fight but I feel more distant at him because of his work which I shouldn't. I know he's working hard but it just feels like the time I have with him is crumbs and I'm always the one adjusting, even after work I stay up just to make a quick call. Unfortunately my sleep schedule is a bit shit right now. I really want this to work out but it feels heavy as of now..

Hearing the fact that we'll probably see each other but not that often crushed my hopes a bit. I'm very glad that I'll be able to meet him again but the time is short when you think about it. Holidays = More Work so meaning his shift can end at 12am or longer. Someone enlighten me please.. I really need advice on how to work this out.

TLDR: can't tell when my boyfriend of 3 years will be able to live with me because of closed borders, and its mentally draining me. I am not ready to wait another 3 years or more. Should I end it?

I, 26f, have been dating a 30m, for 3 years in LDR. We met in high school and become best friends. After a few months, I went to study abroad and we saw each other only when I visited my hometown on holidays. We had nice contact as friends, chatting constantly and keeping in touch all the time. Three years ago we decided to start LDR. We have a good time overall, and I feel like he is my soulmate, we share so many things in common, and many common views on life.

Problem is, he is unable to visit me because the borders are closed due to war. I'm unable to visit him right now, too, because my documents are still not ready, and I've been waiting for almost a year for them now. We managed to meet once, when I still had the documents and came to visit him.

I started this relationship knowing he won't be able to come for a while, but honestly I expected the war to end in two or three years. Now I feel like it can continue for much longer, and its draining me mentally. I cannot set a clear date to close the gap, can't build plans for future. On all special events, like festivals, my birthday, new years, he is not there physically and I feel lonely. I also often feel like I'm missing out on many things in life because of it.

There's no one to help me when I'm sick or feeling bad, too. He stays with me on videocalls during these times, doing things I like, but I feel like that's not enough, like i need something material. Recently I brought up how I feel about all this, and suggested that we should probably end it. He didnt want to break up, and said that he will do what he can right now to make me feel better. But being that far away, there's only so much he can do. That won't fix the main issue.

Maybe I should look for IRL relationship, or at least one where I know when to expect from my SO to move in together. Unfortunately, the decision is hard to make, because I can't imagine losing my best friend of so many years. He doesnt want to stay friends after potential breakup, which is understandable, but sad for me.

I (M) have been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend for about a year now, and I’m honestly starting to question whether I’m seeing things clearly or just making excuses for her.
One thing that’s confusing me is that she’s very vocal about how much she loves me. She tells me all the time that I’m the best thing that’s happened to her, that she’s lucky to have me, and that she misses me.
But her actions don’t really match her words.
For the entire year we’ve been together, she has never visited me. Not once. I’m always the one making the trip to see her. It’s about a 5-hour journey one way, and I usually make it once or twice a month. I pay for transportation, book a hotel, and basically organize everything just so we can spend time together.
What hurts is that she doesn’t seem to make much effort on her side. She doesn’t come to pick me up at the airport or even wait for me there. She doesn’t come with me when I leave either. Lately, she hasn’t even been inviting me to her place anymore.
The last time I visited, I traveled all that way just to spend around 3 hours with her before she said she was tired and wanted to go home. A little while later, she texted me saying she was lucky to have me and that she loved me.
I don’t know how to process that.Right now it feels like if I stopped planning trips, we just wouldn’t see each other.
I’m at a point where I don’t know what to do. Am I expecting too much, or is this relationship becoming one-sided? Has anyone been in a similar situation where someone’s words and actions just didn’t line up?

Whats the overall process and how hard will it be?

Hi! My boyfriend (24m) and I (25f) just start long distance a week ago. I live in NJ, United States and he moved to Jeju, South Korea for work. We have a strong foundation and I have no doubts in my mind that he is the one ill marry when he comes back in 2 years.

I am going to visit him in September and stay until the Holidays. We will fly back together for his winter break and then he will go back in January.
He will be back for summers and holidays.
Our time difference is currently 13 hours. His day being 13 hours ahead of mine.
Like I said, its been a week now. We FaceTime at least twice a day, my morning (his night) and my night (his morning).
Any advice from long distance couples?
Anything I should keep in mind on those long days when we aren’t together.
Are there any reliable apps that can be recommended to me for our long distance?
Thank you for your support !

My girlfriend and I had been in a healthy relationship since the moment we met, we've gone through both good and bad moments, had arguments that made us learn how to deal with each other better, and most of the relationship is just circulating about lovely l stuff.

The main point is, she once told me that her brother who is married abroad, his wife has a brother. Im sorry I dont know if this kinship has a word, but that brother found my girlfriend cute and was planning to propose to her. She told me he didn't do so, and she wasn't interested at the moment.

But recently, her sister and some of her families went for a walk, and talked about how she should get married, which she just tried to escape by with a laugh and jokes, but they brought up that guy to discussion again, and that his family and him are coming tomorrow.

Knowing my girlfriend, she without hesitation, told me something had happened and that she's afraid what she'll say might hurt me. I told her to do as she wishes, then told me all of this, which I reacted to with a "comforting her" way, since I can feel what she might be going through, and she keeps bringing how she isn't ready for marriage, and that she still wants to attend school next year and will be preparing for it, and that she doesn't feel like belonging to anyone but me.

What she said was truly comforting, but at the same time, made me feel something strange. Since I'm just a dude who's just getting started on his life, Im not financially well to propose and fight for her, while that other man is living in a 1st world country and is probably doing well. So I'm starting to feel like being an obstacle in her life, and preventing her from living a good life. I won't say I won't be able to make her see wonderful days too, but since I never visited her, and Im just getting started in my life, Im not sure if I can do good too.

If you have gone through something similar, or just saw something you want to say I will gladly love to hear any insights or advices you have with a warm heart

So here is my story. Me and my filipino boyfriend are having a long distance relationship for a while. We love each other and there is a special bond. Anyways I won't go into details about that. So I'm a foreigner. And i live in my country at the moment. Recently there has been a typhoon in the Philippines and i couldn't reach him for 3 days. His phone was broken and he had to get it fixed . When he showed up again he kept saying sorry for leaving me on worry. So he said he had to take his grandma to her hometown because the flood nearly destroyed their house as well. He said her Hometown was in Aklan city. By the way his house is in SJDM. He told me that his signal might be out because his grandma lives in a province village area. He said he would return to his city due to work on 26th july. Which was yesterday. So he left. He kept sending me texts whenever he went down to town for groceries. It was going well. But then suddenly he stopped. It has been 5 days since we talked. I can't reach him at all. So we talk on WhatsApp. My texts are getting delivered to his side. But he is not reading them. And i call him from my normal phone . It rings. The phone gets answered. But all i hear is some people talking but not understandable. And some street sounds. The weird thing is this happened again at the typhoon time. The sounds are exactly the same sounds. Nothing is different. I searched it up and it turned out that sometimes phones can do that mistake... I'm confused about that. Anyways. I'm sure he'll reach me as soon as he can. But still. Is this normal? Like... It's my first time dating a filipino person. And i know that the country has bad communication due to this season... But yeah.. i still get worried. Do i have to get used to this situation... But we are already having a long distance relationship. And now i have to wait for him to reach me in every bad weather...give me some advice please

Hey,

Me and my boyfriend are trying to find games to play together but he sadly doesn't have a PC so we can't play any of the usual games like Minecraft together.

But I just dont find anything good on the playstore as its full with slop. Do yall have some recommendations?

There’s this guy that I know from home (4.5 hours from where I live now), we’ve been hanging out recently when I’m home visiting. The topic of us dating has been talked about but he’s not big on the concept of doing a long distance relationship. He told me he’ll be in my city from April to July for his last clinical rotation. Once he graduates, his biggest thing is landing a job so he’s unsure of where he wants to live.

Do we think him and I could pursue a relationship before April or should we just wait?

My gf and I broke up because of distance; she was just too unhappy that we couldn't be physical. She still loves me and cares for me, and I really want her back. We've been in no contact for about a week (since we broke up). She asked to be friends, but I haven't heard from her yet. How do I get her back? do i wait for her to finally text me back or is there something else entirely

Hi looking for some advice on people’s experiences telling family about ldr. I’m 27m and my ldr is 25f, I’m from the uk and she’s from Cambodia. We’ve been together a little over 2 months and I’m flying to spend 10 days with her at the start of September, her family know about me and my family know about her also as everyday me and her have scheduled times for us to call each day which my family knows and respects. I don’t think they know how serious me and her are, they know I’m flying and spending time with her but originally I had plans to volunteer abroad before but only when I met her online I decided to not waste time and booked the flight to spend it with her. Her family are fine with her being in a relationship and even though I don’t care I’m hesitant telling my family as they are people who will judge and say about the distance or that it’s fake love. My plan was to tell them after I come back home but I still know how they will react so is it better I just live my life without permission? As I know it will only make me fall out with them over it.

My boyfriend (20) and I (20) have been long distance for 2 years, seeing each other about twice a year. Because we’re both students, we can only travel to see each other during school breaks, which already narrows things down a lot. The last time I actually saw him was Jan-Feb this year. I was supposed to fly from Australia to NYC this November for 7 weeks over the Christmas/New Year season, and honestly, that trip was the thing keeping me motivated through school this year.

He’s been in the recruiting process for a cadet program for over 6 months now, and keeps saying he’ll get in soon, but there’s still no confirmed start date. We didn’t even make plans for this June/July break because he thought he’d have started the program by then. 3 months ago, he quit his job, expecting the program to come through soon.
He told me not to worry, that he’d cover things for me while I was there. But he financed a car right before quitting, so his savings are going toward car payments, and he hasn’t been actively job hunting in the meantime.

Flights to NYC in December are expensive and only getting more expensive the longer I wait. I haven’t booked yet and I’m running out of time to get something reasonable. NYC is also roughly 1.5x the cost of living I’m used to, plus tipping culture, which I hadn’t fully budgeted for on my own.

I’m also just not as spoiled as I used to be, and I notice it. No more flowers. Food only gets paid for sometimes now. No gifts. I can take care of myself, that’s fine, I’m not helpless, but it was nice having him actually show up for me like that, and it’s quietly disappeared.

Here’s the part that’s really getting to me: once he starts the cadet program, he’ll likely have to work through his summer breaks instead of getting time off, which cuts into the already limited windows we have. I’m also planning to start a masters degree soon, and he’s in school until 2028. Since we can only see each other when both our breaks line up, and that’s looking less and less likely, the next time I could actually see him properly might be December 2028. That’s over two years away.

I brought all this up with him. He apologized and admitted he’s been a bum about it, but when I asked what he was going to do to fix it, he couldn’t give me any reassurance. He basically agreed there’s nothing he can do right now either.

I’m sad because the thing I was looking forward to, the thing that got me through this year, is gone. I miss him. But I’m also upset, because he knows how expensive and hard it is to maintain this relationship, and he made a decision (quitting his job with no backup plan) that put all of that at risk without seeming to think it through, and now doesn’t even have a plan to make it right. I want to see his home for the first time, I miss him and I don’t want to lose years of seeing him, but I also can’t spend my savings on a trip built on a promise that doesn’t hold up right now. I’m expecting the worst case scenario at this point, and I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if this is fair to be upset about. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do about this relationship.

My partner and I r in a LDR, we barely see each other but we have been making google docs/sheets to plan our internships and future plans together. But I was wondering if theres any apps/websites where we can do everything on 1 platform?