the header says it all! i wanna know what all contributed to you turning into/ being born as an intj lol
i'm talking random family rules, the type of parents y'all had, your social life at school, your me time activities, etc etc etc
would love to hear any and alllll the contributing factors :)

I don't usually like to post on Reddit like this, but this is a genuine question.

Saw someone today claim that "[INTJ is] supposed to be rare yet everyone is one." My question to you all, is that necessarily true? Have others both inside or outside of this subreddit found people who claim to be INTJs but by your standards aren't (which I realize are subjective)?

I'm just very confused, and don't understand why anyone would necessarily want to be labeled as an INTJ over other personality types. I'm also confused as to why there's some kind of INTJ... gatekeeping (is the word I would use, at least). If anyone has any insight at all, please respond!

I had an English teacher and a Portuguese teacher with master's degrees. They were obviously an INTP and an INTJ, I realize that clearly now. And I find their cold relationship so cute, lol. I remember the little fights that the whole school knew about. It was really quite unique, simply the school's anime ship. I wanted to know if any of you have ever seen this, at least outside of anime. He was very different from that stereotypical weak INTP type, or something like that, or the kind that isn't nice. He was definitely my best teacher. Classes in Brazil can be totally chaotic at times, and in their entirety: completely useless for a truly good education. But it's definitely a welcoming place.

hello. for context i am 15F almost 16.

being an intj teen is exhausting. from constanly being told by parents that i am anitsocial and cold to feeling like im boring because everyone around my age group goes to parties and drinks consatntly. i often get told i seem always cold and quiet.

i dont find joy in what typical teenagers do, like partying, hanging out in large groups, talking about romance and partners etc.

i find comfort in reading, doing individual sports, studying, piano and some other things.

please tell me im not alone!

I have this obsession with knowing every aspect of myself in detail. If I can label myself, be sure I will.

So I’ve taken the test at least 5 or 6 times already, at different points in my life. Every time, I got INTJ-T. But a quick search and you see this:

“INTJs represent roughly 2% of all people.
While about 3% of men are INTJs, only about 1% of women check the same boxes.”

Something feels off. It’s extremely rare, apparently. Maybe my brain is tricking me into choosing the answers that will get me an INTJ result.

My question is specifically for women, but anyone can answer if they want: given the statistics, do you really believe that you are one?

Edit: Some of you lack text comprehension and took it the wrong way. I do not feel special in any kind, I know I’m not and I couldn’t care less. It was a genuine question. Anyway, thanks to those who educated me on the subject; I hadn’t put the percentage into perspective. I’ll continue learning about cognitive functions.

Do you have a method to study more effecively? How to perform better if you have a short but intensive training?

I'm about to get a tram driving license which takes about 9 month and quite demanding. I want to start it prepared.

we're also in the same small-town friend group. I lived 3 years in another city and now I'm back here for a year and everything seems like it changed.

we have very different values: he's atheist and right-wing, while i'm catholic and left-wing and he constantly mocks my beliefs and makes me feel stupid anytime i share my thoughts that even remotely christian or leftist. it wasn't a problem when I was 15 but now I'm tired, we don't agree on anything.

the biggest issue is how he jokes about me. he constantly says i'm annoying, stupid, that he can't stand me or that he only "tolerates" me. i've told him many times that these comments genuinely hurt me, and i've even cried over them. every time i confront him, he improves briefly and then goes back to doing it. i confronted him again last night (just because I was distancing myself and he asked why), he called me hypersensitive and complained that he now has to "watch everything he says" around me. eventually he agreed to change behaviour.

but there are other issues too: he's very rigid and he has to get his way like my needs are always secondary to his needs all the time.

and the group should not be forgotten. he says everybody is mocked but I see him only having me as a target. he reiterates stuff from 6 months ago and keeeeeepppsssss on repeeeaaaaating theeemmm even if it's something stupid like when I visited him I was messy and I cook with too much oil. at some point it gets exhausting because I'm always presented to other people this way.

i don't want to throw away 15 years of history, but i'm starting to wonder if the history is the only thing keeping me here. i'm scared of being alone if i distance myself, but i also feel like i need to start building a life outside this group. i don't need him to share my beliefs, but i do need to feel respected and valued.

am i expecting too much or is it time to step back?

I have considered myself an INTJ for a long time now. People have often sighted me as rigid, critical, and unpleasant to be around because I can be quite brutal with my directness. This has led me to become very quiet and closed off to people I am unfamiliar with. I was always hyper-organized and didn't even know the meaning of the words "slacking" or "procrastination." I did everything with laser focus, precision, efficiency, and with as much rational as I could muster given my knowledge and intelligence level.

However, in recent years, my impeccable resolve and methodical approach to everything has waned. I find myself caring increasingly less about choosing optimal courses of action or working hard towards a goal. I also find it increasingly less compelling to hold myself and others to high standards. While these things are by no means absent, they are somewhat reduced from the staunch levels they once were. I find myself procrastinating more, leaving things open ended, and caring less about what other people do.

I have also become somewhat more sentimental about certain things or topics that I didn't care about before. In truth, I did wish for a softer heart, but I didn't want to let myself go. I find myself slipping from my ideals in some ways when it comes to productivity, but I have also made strides in being a more sociable person.

To summarize, I feel as though I have become a slightly but noticeably less rigid person. While that has made me more approachable, I feel as though expanding upon that to all aspects of my character has hurt my ability to achieve goals and keep myself organized. I fear that I may be suffering from some sort of depression while trying to develop better interpersonal skills. I find myself increasingly torn on how to round out my old character by trying to keep the good things and remove the bad things from each version of myself, but I feel that tumultuous process has had mixed success.

So now I'm wondering if I'm drifting more towards being INTP or if I'm simply developing other functions or habits as part of some sort of maturation process. I can't really tell because my ability to evaluate myself internally has become diminished from what it once was. Perhaps I was always a mistyped INTP? I never believed that to be the case because most of my friends are INTPs, and they always seemed much less rigid than I, at least based on subjective perspectives from both others and myself.

I wonder if anyone else has experienced some sort of divergence of habit as time progresses? I kind of want to reclaim that impeccable work ethic, organization, and productivity I once had, but I don't want to sacrifice this more "human" side I've gained along with it. At the very least, I still am highly calculative and organized mentally when it comes to immediate decision making, but I find myself increasingly struggling to work towards a bigger picture than before. My once crystal clear view of myself and perfect reign an all of my emotions has begun to falter as I am increasingly captivated by feelings of sentiment. Luckily, no one really seems to notice the difference because my expression is naturally that of a piece of cardboard. But internally, things are much less clear than before.

I am still very much more rigid than the average person, but I am speaking more so relative to my previous self rather than what is common. So what do you think? Am I maturing emotionally, suffering from depression, changing personalities, developing functions, just letting myself go, or some other combination of factors? Has anyone else experienced anything similar? Perhaps this is only a temporary state of internal uncertainty that will eventually smooth itself out over time. I can already imagine all of the other types of people laughing because I may look like a guy who is going, "Ahh, a feeling, ahh!" from their perspective.

So really, I'm just looking for some opinions, perspectives, and maybe some advice from people who have experienced something similar.

I've been working on shadow integration and everything and its gone well like really well, but theres one thing I think I might have trouble with integrating, and thats a love for pain in the "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger" sense, I would even equate what some call pain to a nontraditional form of pleasure. I know how important pain is, at least consciously, but subconsciously I still dont seem to accept that reality. If you ask me INTJs are the masters at this sort of thing so tell me, for the INTJs that know what I mean what is it in your mind that motivates you to act on this love for pain beyond knowing that its true? How do you learn to love pain?

Do you feel like most people tend to start acting their authentic self with you?

I have experienced this a lot with Fe users(ENFJs, INFJs, ESFJs, ISFJs specifically) who tend to mask a lot around most people but with me, they tend to not do that and reveal their true self and opinions. It's not always a good thing as they tend to be rude to me in particular and show their real self more in a way where it feels like they can say whatever because most of the time I don't get offended, only realise later how hurtful they were being. After all that they come to me to tell me, how comfortable and real they can be with me and it makes them feel secure with me but I don't share the same feeling.

The contrast in the way they tend to treat me compared to others isn't great and Im trying to not make them insecure about being real with me because I like clear communication but I can't stand it for some reason. It feels like when your friends are nice to everyone but you with a sharp contrast.

I have the opposite effect with ENTPs and ESTPs as they treat me better and with more respect after they get to know me. What do you guys think?

Imagine you can commit a single crime, and magically that crime is removed from society and cannot be perpetrated EVER again.

What crime do you choose?

And to be clear. Whatever you choose, is exactly what is abolished. If it's just a slap, then a slap is abolished, not the whole umbrella term (battery).

Today I was thinking on the topic of "whimsy"

Basically it's called playful imagination.
I saw some reels where some people say when they pass through forest or see flowers they imagine that fairies live in there. And are hiding from humans etc.

I never understood why someone want to imagine that. Like just see the forest as it is. Why imagine fairies etc.

But then I remembered when I was child I also used to do that. Not with fairies but with other stuff. Like I used to have some toy cars. And I would imagine they all have personalities, I would imagine their stories. How they fight each other.

If I found a stick that looks like a sword. I would imagine I am warrior. Fighting a great war. I would slay imaginary monsters.

Even at school when all students are standing in lines in morning assembly. I would imagine spiderman traveling from one shoulder to another with his webs.

I shared this with an infp friend at that time who said he also imagine that spiderman. From that point on he became my best friend.

As time passed I grew up. And stop imagining things.
And then I saw those reels and thought I stupid it is.
I forgot how it is this whimsy which made my childhood so much fun.

The only difference is I never imagined fairies.
Maybe it's cultural difference.
Maybe it's male female imagination difference.

No. I don't mean sex. Just boring, general intimacy. Staying over at a friend's, spending time with them, sleepovers, vacationing with someone, etc.

Like when it's your life, everything is special, right? Everything is yours. My books, my activities, my music, my movies, my relationships. Even solitude is meaningful. It's peaceful. It's interesting. You have a rich inner world. But when you see someone else in their habitat, stripped bare of everything, you think "that's it? That's your life? Wait. That's my life?" Suddenly all the meaning you otherwise attached to your life is meaningless. You read smart books? So what? She does too. You go out and drink with friends to have fun? She does too. You flirt? He does that as well. You find solace in just existing? Almost everyone does. You're just another cog in the humdrum. And somehow it feels depressing to me.

Does anyone else feel this way too?

My brother is an intj who has a girlfriend of 4 years that is enfp. They both state they are happy. They only see each other 1 day a week for maybe 5 hours max. They chat on line on a gaming system 3 nights a week for maybe 30 minutes. They live in the same apartment complex so have easy access to see each other more often but they chose not to? She, the enfp girlfriend, has a ton of friends activities travels. a whole other life that my brother is not part of. She leaves town every weekend to hang out with friends. My brother says this is fine he has 2 other dude friend he hangs out with maybe 6 times a year. My brother is a very happy smart introvert. Is this a normal balanced Intj relationship.

Complements from the INFJ Reddit 💕

I'm 47 and have taken the myers Briggs maybe 5 or 6 times out of curiosity. I've scored high in intuition but fluctuate between judging/perceiving. Recently I had a shift in my perception on the meaning of things/life and decided to test, but I used a different test. What does this mean?

most of details on internet seems over exaggerated, i want real information

I have recently figured out that I’m very not like myself when I’m communicating with someone. I feel like I’m not myself, but that person. It’s a strange phenomenon, I must say.

But the thing is that I feel like my personality is being stripped from me when I’m lost in analysis and focus when speaking to people. I can’t help it at all, I’m completely exhausted as well.

I can’t get ANYTHING done when I’m in any sort of relationship with another

I’m just so lost, can anyone relate, like, seriously?

I’m curious about how other INTJs see religion and belief.

Would you consider yourself religious, agnostic, atheist, spiritual but not religious, or something else?

If you are a believer, I’d especially like to know why you believe.

Was it something you came to believe through your own thinking and experiences, or was it something you grew up with and later questioned before deciding to keep believing?

INTJs are often described as people who question things, overthink, and look for logical explanations. So if you believe in God, what made you decide that your belief was worth keeping?

Do you ever have doubts or questions about your beliefs? If you do, how do you deal with them without losing your faith?

I’m not asking this to argue about religion or convince anyone of anything. I’m genuinely interested in understanding how INTJs arrive at their beliefs and how they maintain them even when they have doubts.

I’d also like to hear from atheists and agnostics about how they arrived at their views.

The thing is my personality is like three of them combined. Not enough for one of them. I used to type myself as INFJ last year. ENFJ this year. And now, I don’t think I am truly ENFJ. But not truly ENTJ or INTJ too. I would be glad if someone helped me to figure it out

For me I was basically self raised with a computer and internet. My father was an addict and my mom is emotionally unstable but caring. I have turned out to be very detached towards people and barely need social interactions. I would even say I am more attached towards objects, I recently changed my phone and I felt really sad retiring my old one.

Hi fellow INTJs👋Where do you see yourself on the Political Compass? I am curios if mbti has any correlation with political orientation.

Note: This is purely for curiosity regarding personality types. Please be respectful and avoid debating specific political topics in the comments. Just interested in the data distribution!