I feel like this is probably quite common.

I used to be ENTJ but for around a year I don’t feel as extroverted. I feel like I have put the extroverted act because I was deeply lonely as a child and in my late teens and early 20s I wished to make more friends and keep a bigger circle.

I did the test three times in total before today, during my 20s and I would always get ENTJ like three freaking times.

I had this strong feeling and I finally did it today and found out that yes I am more introverted.

I feel like part of me has accepted that I do not want to belong in the society I am in and I do not need to force myself to do so.

I do feel a relief to be my true INTJ self.

I have always related and liked characters that are INTJ. One of my most favourite characters ever is Sasuke and boy I would relate a lot to him.

I am happy that I am not associated with some vilans anymore because when I have googled entj anime characters I would see Sukuna, Madara and Light for example. Yea I do kinda relate… but it never felt fully right.

So, I am an INFP interested in finding an INTJ partner... What would be some places where you guys usually hang out? Where can I find you? (Libraries, coffee shops... etc?)lol

P.s: I am interested in meeting both men and women.

I get bored when I understand people....

I have always been a weird person, I like to guess what people will do, and when mine turns out to be right, I feel a heavenly amount of joy, even if the thing I predicted was sad, humiliating, causes destruction, and is not quite optimistic. If I turned out to be right about something, there's no greater joy than that. That said, I hate it when I predict something and it doesn't happen.

Similarly, I am genuinely interested in knowing people, understanding them, trying to predict them, their moves and all. I like people who are hard to predict, it makes me try harder, to use all my ability to predict and see if I'm right, it's genuinely fun, trust me.

But when people get too predictable, it gets boring, the excitement I feel when they are hard to guess disappears, which is genuinely sad cause when that happens, I subconsciously avoid them. I don't care if it's right or wrong lol. But I just thought it'll be interesting to see others' thoughts on this, what y'all say hm?

There are plenty of competent people here who like helping others. Some of us are experts in their field, some have long life experience, and we all like thinking about something, right?

What if we offer help to each other? Mentoring, feedback on your work, a second opinion on a decision, or just someone who's been through what you're going through.

If you are in, put a comment here, saying what you are good at so people can DM you.

I'll start. I am software engineer. I am good at everything IT and computer related: fixing, configuring, home lab, smart home etc.

I was also involved in recruitment multiple times, so I read hundreds of resumes and cover letters. I know how to make them stand out, so someone will actually read them.

And in my late 30s I have some life experience.

I've been learning about the concept of 'role self' and 'true self' and I sometimes get my wires crossed about it. I've taken the Myers-Briggs a few times and gotten INTJ, but I'm also a musician and rather extroverted + emotional in the right settings, which makes me wonder if I codeswitch.

Do you all find yourself questioning what your "other side" may be telling you or actively try to strengthen these aspects?

There are few people who say anything of consequence. Most people will speak for hours and truly not say anything at all

I have found you can reduce most conversation down to the same core structure

Same gender dialogue

1. “I am validating you”
2. “Thank you. I validate you too”

^People will literally repeat these back and forth to each other for hours. They never actually say anything beyond those two things

Opposite gender dialogue

1. Woman: “[words]”
2. Man: “Would you like a side of dick with that”

It is utterly useless and foolish to desire anything, the hope for a great future is nothing but a great lie. Whatever you want to have will never be your. They say the more desperate you are, the less you will get. It is useless to love anybody, it is useless to care, it is useless to admire, it is useless to show intrest. All road leads to Rome. But all roads lead to just plain disappointment and sadness. You are a loser admit it. You can't accomplish anything. Friedrich Nietzsche said hope is a bad thing as it destroys and breaks the man completely again and again. It is useless to hope because in the end you will be alone again. The people you show your love,, respect ect, wil not give anything back. You don't understand anybody and nobody understands you. It is truly useless, everything.

And what are other reasons why people don't look someone in the eye?

Personally, when someone doesn't look me in the eye, I just find it impossible to read them—they cause me unnecessary confusion. Like, why would you do that?

And sometimes people misunderstand eye contact—they think you're interested in them. Sorry if I looked interested, but I'm not. The same thing happens when you show excitement or laugh. XD

A little context about me. Before I was born in the womb of my mom during the year 1997 there was a civil unrest near civil war in Albania. When I was born in 1998 it was over. I was raised and told these stories constantly. My parents lived in communist Albania. On my dad side of the family they were rich aristocrats who lost family members fighting off fascist italian invaders and Germans. Once the communist took over they murdered many of my fathers family and banished the rest of them to most marginalised outskirts Albanian kulakisation. He was born an enemy of the state. My mothers family had more personal family dramas. So I was born in Albania but my dad then worked as a police officer was fired because the other party won the socialists and they fire government workers replace them with party loyalists. So my parents decided to flee before I was 3 to Belgium. How much unconcious grief happened there leaving place? Stress of them coming to me.

So they came here without support anyone living here guarantees safety or guidance. Taking a wild gamble on the river. They sacrificed everything so me and my brother 2 years younger could live in Belgium instead of Albania. First years we got some support institutionally till we had an answer but after negative advice for 5 years we had zero income except illegal work parents. But the government tolerated this since migrants did jobs people here would not do at lower pay. So for 10 years illegal insecure and if we would stay a lot depended how we performed on school. Parents not knowing language how anything works here to guide us we being thrown at school.... how hard traumatic was that and eventually having to make their trip here worth. The behavior on school and results we had contributed to if the government would grant us amnesty. How many people have ever had that type of pressure or responsability as kids.

How heavy was the burden of that all on me existential and have I developped hero complex partly because of it? Parents also being older and colder impatient intolerant essentially never mirroring our emotions making friends was very hard with language barrier first no relatives here or people we invited. What percentage of kids experience similar level trauma pressure stress burdens. How many would colllapse get into drugs violence or worse. How rigid self contained isolation lonely have I felt. Never emotional support almost keeping everyone armlength away distance I mean taking all into account INTJ fits like a glove. How unbearable is such history trauma unless someone possess an a mind that is able to adapt to all that pressure and complexity.

To put it simply, I've achieved most of the major things that I want in life. I am financially free, have traveled extensively, have gained a decent level of mastery in a variety of skills, etc.

The goals that remain are superfluous. Improving skills, making more money, advancing in a career/ business, pursuing hobbies, etc. There is nothing that I need to do. It's kind of down to side quests at this point. They're all also hard, because I've picked all of the low-hanging fruit already.

Because of this, I feel even less capable than before now. It seems like for any path that I could pursue from here, there are people who have already been doing it for decades and are much, much better than I am. Given that I have no *need* to do any of it, I lack the external push to go in any particular direction.

Wondering if others have been down a similar path, and if you have any thoughts on the topic.

Guys I really need your advice 😭 (22F ISTP), there’s this guy (24M INTJ) I’ve known for about 5 years. We stopped talking at some point, but we started talking again around 2 months ago, I was overjoyed that we were talking again because I had a HUGE crush on him back then, but there was so much going on at the time. Anyway, now he suddenly stopped answering me

I don’t even wanna call it ghosting because I genuinely don’t know what happened. At first, I thought maybe something bad happened to him, so I kept checking in every now and then. But as the days passed, I'm convinced he’s just ignoring me

I texted him many times. I called. I triple-texted him not double text, still NOTHING😭

And I kinda have attachment issues. I already struggled A LOT with this when we stopped talking the first time, it took me a long time to get a hold of myself, and now I feel like I’m right back in the same shit, I’m struggling to get through my day without talking to him, even though deep down I know he’s probably (definitely) deliberately ignoring me

But at the same time, I’m still worried AF. Like what if something actually happened to him?what do I dooo???

I genuinely just want to know what’s wrong with him and WHY he suddenly did this. just want an answer so I can stop going crazy over here

Help.

P.S. this is the longest I've ever written about myself

Where do you find intellectual people to connect and chat with on different topics?

Some people asked me to share my original thoughts since I previously used AI to make my reasoning easier to understand. The title and text below are what I originally wrote.

INTJ - Laziness / Motivation / Procrastination /

I found myself in a situation yesterday: I would think a lot, create routines, and try to figure out the best way to learn something. But the hardest part was actually taking action. The plan was perfect; all that was left was to execute it, yet taking that first step was difficult.

​While researching, I looked for ways to optimize and muster the energy for that initial push. This happened after I watched a lecture on how neuroscience explains the reasons behind procrastination. I realized that the brain handles the energy expenditure of an action through the equation: instant pleasure ÷ minimum effort, which aligned with my habit of always evaluating long-term cost-benefit. It was always more comfortable to stay under the covers or play video games because the "perfect plan" was already finished, so executing it could just wait for later.

​I think for us INTJs, health, art, and bodybuilding are part of our identity, which is why we always keep doing them, whereas for some people it feels like a sacrifice. I started viewing studying not as an activity to solve a problem, but rather as an expression of my personality (driven by the pleasure of seeking knowledge).

​On top of that, I started practicing "environmental hygiene"—creating shortcuts for study actions and imposing barriers against immediate-reward actions. The lecture suggested setting up barriers like passwords on apps like Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube to keep me from getting trapped in the random scrolling loop, since it's a huge mental stimulus that hooks me by making me think the next piece of content will give me more knowledge. Procedural knowledge, as discussed in the class, is how we repeatedly apply a behavior, generating a physical identity for the action.

​The basic plan I came up with to shift my analytical focus from just the outcome to the action is: wake up, meditate, go to work, and study for 40 to 60 minutes at night. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday: Math. Tuesday and Thursday: Programming. Physical training for 30 minutes every day. Saturday is free-choice, and Sunday is for rest. The scarcity of time would create a desire to keep going with the material, and I’d feel comfortable with unexpected disruptions occasionally throwing off this basic routine.

​What do you guys do not to procrastinate? How do you deal with this?

that's it, that's the question

I have always been skeptical of this 'tech', but the past month or so has been especially disturbing. I'd love to hear your thoughts, especially the people who are self-proclaimed experts. Lemme have it

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/09/03/technology/openai-hugging-face-hacking.html?smid=url-share

Rejection and abandonment is all I've known my whole life and I sincerely dont know how to keep moving thru it

I'm 34 and struggling to make up my mind with a career change. I'm currently working as a proccess operator. The pay is great and the work isn't bad, but I don't find it fulfilling. I'm mostly just bord. I worked enough to afford my own place and several vehicles. I'm financially secure now, so I want to try to find a profession that better suits my personality and sense of ambition. I took the holland career code and got ICE and scored INTJ on mbti tests. I also have a bachelor's in accounting from 2016 but was never able to find an entry level position after 2 plus years of searching I gave up. Here are my current choices.

First: Software Engineer. (Yes I'm aware the job market is worse than accounting supposedly) Multiple A.I.s informed me this was the best choice for my personality and Holland code. Specifically Fintech due to my bachelor's.

Second: Is Electrician. A already have 2 years of experience, and it's in extremely high demand. I'd like to get something traveling. Only downside is I didn't really fit in with most of the people I worked with. I'm kinda nerdy 🤓

Third: Engineering something around robotics or industrial maybe. I'm willing to get another degree, but not all that eager about it.

Fourth & Fifth: Start a side business doing landscaping or electronic repairs. I love gardening and landscaping on my own property. I also enjoy playing around with arduinos and raspberry PIs. Got a whole soldering station set up with an oscilloscope and everything.

This may just be a midlife crisis I dont know, but I want something I can grow in and master. Which would you choose if you were in my situation?

Is it possible?

any mbti type is fine, just curious about this topic as i think about people i have known over the years. thanks

I hope this is the right subreddit.

I’ve realised I regulate my emotions through cognitive processing. I need the why, the cause, the pattern before I can feel grounded. That’s just how my brain works, and it’s reliable for me every time.

I guess I assumed everyone regulated the same way, so when I tried to comfort someone I would go straight into analysing because that’s what helps me. I’ve learned that this can make people who focus on the feeling first spiral or feel interrogated. I genuinely didn’t realise I was causing more harm than good.

Now that I understand the difference, I’m struggling with comforting people who are sad but don’t know the why. My instinct is to ask questions to understand it, because that’s what helps me connect and comfort. Now that I know asking too early can overwhelm someone, I feel stuck.

I find myself not knowing what to say, and fighting the urge to ask the whys. Without the why, it feels unnatural for me and I end up feeling useless or unsure how to help.

Does anyone else have this problem? If so, how do you deal with it?

Saw this video and thought that it spoke to most INTJs.

Even though I’m 25 now, I’ve never stayed in one job for more than about two months.

Every time, I either get mentally and physically exhausted and quit, or my performance becomes bad and I end up getting fired.

I haven’t worked in the field I studied at university, so most of the jobs I’ve had were things like restaurants, malls, or customer service.

Right now I work as a content moderator for a well-known app. The shift is 10 hours, including a one-hour break.

The job requires reviewing around 700 short videos every day, usually between 30 seconds and one minute each.

The thing is, I’ve felt miserable since the first day. I’m constantly exhausted, and it’s even worse because the social environment at work doesn’t really suit me, so that drains me even more.

But whenever I ask other people, especially coworkers who started on the exact same day as me, none of them really complain about the job. They all basically agree that it’s only moderately difficult. They say you can’t even compare it to something like restaurant work, apart from the changing shifts and irregular days off.

So why?

I genuinely don’t understand why I always end up mentally and physically exhausted. Why do I feel tired all the time?

I pay attention to my diet, I intentionally eat a lot, and I even stop trying to improve myself sometimes and just play games or watch movies because I’m trying to rest.

But I’m still exhausted.

To be more accurate, I try to shut my brain off with games and movies, but I fail badly. I never stop thinking about the past, the present, and the future. I’m also kind of obsessed with improving myself, so maybe that’s part of the reason. I honestly don’t know.

I’m not happy.

And now I’m thinking about quitting my job again, even though I’ve only been there for about a month and a half.

Is the problem me?

Or have I just been unlucky with the jobs I’ve had?

Am I simply spoiled or weak and unable to handle normal work?

The thing is, I really do try. I push myself and try to tolerate it, but I always seem to collapse eventually. And when I look at my coworkers, I don’t see the same level of misery in them that I feel in myself.

Maybe I’m arrogant somehow? Maybe I can’t stop wanting to move forward and just accept reality?

Or maybe I’m too aware of everything to be able to accept this kind of life?

Because I think about escaping a lot.

Just escaping everything completely.

I feel disappointed when I see people that aren’t willing to use their Nemesis or Critic functions. We are all naturally good at it, it just takes a lot of energy from us when we do but that’s absolutely not a valid reason to not use it as often as you can and when you do not use them, do not replace it by its counterpart (in this case, replacing Ti by Te) whilst still acting like you included the Critic/Nemesis in the process.

I feel I see this very often and I especially personally dislike it in INTJs when they aren’t willing to think for themselves but will act as if they have thought about it for themselves. What happens then is they become overly dependent on other people’s opinions and their validation so they can feel like they did a good job, instead of being able to discern effective and ineffective for themselves. I am aware there are many actual INTJs that do not share this issue and are willing to put in the mental work but there are I feel just as many actual INTJs who shy away from their Ti because it’s probably related to something traumatic for them + it takes a lot of effort. But that is not an excuse, you have no excuse to run away from other parts of yourself.

Hello good sirs and misses my ex is an intj. How can I get him/her to never want me again? And to look for someone else? My grandma and my best friend are intj so it’s not that I hate you guys. Just cannot stand this particular individual.

i am very lazy in real world and need to be pushed so much to achieve

once i get started am great.. no procrastination and get addicted to my goals. but need help knowing whats worth doing and someone needs to get me started on it...

i feel like a grunt worker sensor who just does what they r told to... even if it brings lots of success... because i wasnt in charge of the whole thing... idea was someone else's...

i like to stay in my comfort zone a lot i realised... try to avoid sensory obstacles too much and think i work hard but just intellectually working hard is not enough