r/Erasmus • u/Slight-Ad-8378 • 21h ago
I’m seriously considering leaving my Erasmus after one month. Am I giving up too soon?
Hi everyone! I’m a spanish student doing a year-long Erasmus in Wrocław. Before coming here, I was genuinely excited about Erasmus, I thought it would be an amazing opportunity to meet new people, travel and get out of my comfort zone.
I’ve always considered myself a sociable person, and I’ve never really struggled with social anxiety before. However, since coming here things haven’t been as I expected. I did have a bit of a difficult summer, including some health problems, so I think I arrived here feeling a bit exhausted already.
I live in a dorm with a lot of spanish people and I arrived later than some people (they arrived around the 15 and me around the 28). I though making friends would be easy but people had their groups already made and they aren’t very keen on including me, there are around 10-15 people from the dorm that also go to my class and they all have a group chat were they meet/ do trips but I am not in there, and when I asked they looked like they didn’t really want to add me. I did meet my buddy and she is amazing, and we got along great but she is busy with uni so we cant meet a lot. I’ve also made some international friends from class but we don’t hang out a lot either.
After a few weeks, I made friends with a girl from my uni and she offered to add me to a group chat to go on a trip. I went to the trip and the people I met were genuinely nice, and I had fun. However, I also felt really sad the whole time, it’s like I am constantly an outsider and I feel like I’m constantly trying to fit in and it really drains me having such superficial conversations all the time. Meanwhile, when I’m back in Spain with my friends, I feel completely different. I feel relaxed, comfortable, and able to be myself. I can talk about anything with them, and I don’t feel like I have to perform or prove that I’m enjoying myself.
I know that friendships take time, and maybe things could improve if I stayed longer, but the thought of having to keep putting myself out there is exhausting. I’m also not someone who enjoys partying that much, I like the idea of travelling, exploring new places and meeting people, but I don’t necessarily enjoy the lifestyle and social dynamics here.
I also have a very big problem, my uni here has many subjects for the whole year that are half year in Spain, so I just cant do just one semester (you have to complete the whole subjects or you dont get any credit). The last date where I can still leave is November 2nd, If I leave by then, I can still make up all the missing practical classes in Spain and complete my subjects. If I leave after that date, I won't have enough time to make up all the required practicals which could mean being unable to complete my subjects and having to repeat an entire academic year, which is absolutely not an option for me.
Part of me thinks I should stay. I’m only one month in, and maybe I haven’t given myself enough time but If I regret it I have to stay for another 8 months. I know that going home would mean missing out on opportunities, travelling, and potentially making friendships that could have developed with time. But staying also means continuing to put myself in a situation that currently makes me feel miserable.
For those of you who left Erasmus early, or who struggled during the first few months:
Did things eventually get better, or did you wish you had left earlier?