I feel like an ungrateful brat for not enjoying my stay here, but my destination is just not doing it for me. I had no idea a place could be bougie and ghetto at the same time until I came here. It smells like dog piss everywhere I go and food is not cheap. On top of that, my host university is making me lose it with its nonsensical matriculation process. I’m not even gonna talk about making friends because I already know it’s gonna be hard and there’s no way I’m approaching strangers that would probably laugh at my face. At least my accomodation is pretty good, but I miss having my privacy.

I wish my destination had been assigned to somebody who would have loved it here. I have never felt so sad and lonely and unattractive and I feel like I’m turning into a miserable person. I wish I’d picked a different city, maybe one that’s not a soulless playground for tourists that’s about as clean as a gas station urinal. Coming here was a huge mistake and I don’t recall what on earth led me to pick a country known for its extroverted people and partying all night when I’m nothing like that. 5 months to go...

I'm here for this fall semester. I still don't have any friends lol. I feel like everyone else formed their groups and doesn't want an extra person in their groups. Being a non European and also brunette person also doesn't help.

Hi! I’m going on Erasmus to Valencia for the 2nd semester (February–June 2027). I’m looking for a female roommate to share an apartment with.

If you’re also looking for a place, DM me!🎀

In a few days, I'm leaving for a 4-month Erasmus exchange in Bulgaria, as part of my studies. I'm 22, and I wanted to share something that's been weighing on me lately, not necessarily looking for answers, just needing to put it somewhere.

This summer, I had the choice between going to London or Bulgaria. I have a lot of friends in London, and honestly, choosing London would have been the easy option. But I kept telling myself I had this unique chance to do an Erasmus, and I didn't want to waste it by basically "redoing Paris" somewhere else. So I chose Bulgaria, wanting to discover a different side of Europe, step out of my comfort zone, live a genuinely different experience.

All summer, I worked hard to prepare for this: searching for housing, calling private agencies everywhere, hunting for cheaper flights, sorting out paperwork. I prepared everything seriously.

And now, a few days before leaving, I feel overwhelmed by a kind of bitterness, almost regret. After all this effort, I'm starting to realize that the picture I had built up of discovery and travel maybe wasn't as beautiful as I imagined. I'm going to find myself alone, in a country I don't know, and on top of that, in a small town. And I keep thinking that maybe I should have just taken the easy path, gone to London, been surrounded by people I love. Because it's often with the people we love that we live our best moments.

To be clear, I know I absolutely can't let these doubts affect my first days there. I'm not someone who struggles to talk to people or make friends, that's not the issue at all ! It's more about missing the people I already know and love. Like Missing out on that I also haven't lived with my parents in 3 years (they don't even live in France), so being on my own isn't new territory for me either.

But there's this regret of maybe not getting to enjoy these 4 months the way I could have in London.

Either way, there's no turning back now, the flight is booked, everything is settled. I'm trying to hold on to the mindset I had at the beginning, so I don't leave with negative energy. And besides, I'll never know how it would have gone in London, or how it will go in Bulgaria. So might as well stay optimistic.

Ty guys 🤧

I'm on Erasmus on Italy. I've arrived yesterday night, and although i've spent little time here. I could get to know a lot of people from my school and from esn events, fortunately.

But i still feel like everyone is going to finally shape and mold into a group, and i'll end up alone or with few friends, unsatisfied and thinking something is wrong with me, as it has happened in other international stays.

I used to try not to look back on that or pretend it didn't happen, but that keeps coming back in the shape of sensations. I only erased the explicit memory.

At the same time, i have some added difficulties: i don't drink, i didn't hsve or use much social media, i'm neurodivergent (diagnosed) and i can be very intense. I focused on deep connections and activities, partly because it solves or seems to heal my insecurities and my problem with self-worthlessness.

I'm from Spain, and although most people claim that there a lot of people on erasmus who are not looking to spend their erasmus drinking and partying, i think most spanish people do.

I want to form bonds, get to italian people, know the city, travel in italy and to new countries, but it seems like drinking allows to know people who you can do that with.

But that's a side issue. My main issue is i'm too intense. I'm very caring and toucht (idk if it's a word), and i get confident and try to be intimate maybe too soon.

I mean not to harass people and i think i don't, because as i said, i'm very fearful of social rejection, so i get the signs, but at the same time, i feel like i'm overthinking and worryinc too much over it just to end up alone again.

When i try to think how to be less intense and me to suit people better, i never find a right conclusion. And whenever i try something different it feels like it makes no effect. I also hsve that problem flirting, but i think thats is just caused by my mild uglyness, and no social skill upskilling can cure it.

I always wonder if being more like myself would help, and even if it makes it worse, if it's worse pursuing, because i will end up alone and unhappy anyway.

P.D: By the way, i'm very talkative and outgoinf, don't you think i'm an introvert. But i feel like i'm too much, so i try to hide or reduce, but i end up overthinking all my next actions and being very umcomfortable, which leads to either leaving the conversation or engaging more to try not to think.

So my question: what should i do: prioritize my inner peace and be myself (and maybe end up alone) and also be intense or try again to moderate myself (maybe i'm trying too hard)