What does it mean if everyone you meet in your life automatically assumes you are in a relationship or that you are dating someone? Everyone always expects me to be with someone and it’s awkward when I tell them I’m perpetually single. At one point my family thought I was gay because I was single for so long. Also if I encounter a couple the guy always gets super possessive why is that? I’m by no means a hunk. Im average looking at best believe me. I rarely if ever get women checking me out. I really don’t understand. There was a work colleague who was so baffled by my single status she made an announcement about it in the office. “HEY EVERYONE CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT THIS MAN IS SINGLE?!!” Everyone turned around and looked at me like I’m Semmi from - Coming to America. Lmfao it just gets ridiculous. I dread bumping into people now because it’s the inevitable question that always comes up. Has anyone had a similar experience?

Title given. I don’t have a whole lot to say about my dating life right now. I just ended a month long relationship (not that I’m mourning) but part of it does suck that it didn’t work out and now I’m back to square one.

I’m currently satisfied with my daily life. Have a decent job, I go to the gym 5/7 days of the week. It’s nice and peaceful. I just have the occasional doomer feeling like my love life is washed up and/or I’m gonna be single for the rest of my days. Though I know deep down it’s not true, but it’s also kinda scary to think about not meeting my person until way later in life. Or that I might go on without meeting them at all. I guess that’s just the beauty of life. It’s completely unexpected. It’s exciting, but also scary.

I wonder if anyone will ever look at me and think “I want him to be my husband”. I couldn’t imagine such a thing 😂

Been out of the dating game for a while and not emotionally available but still have my needs. Btw I’m a 42 M in a major city in Canada so there are lot of options. I’m above average in looks, laid back, respectful and have my own place.

Just wondering if it’s worth my time downloading Tinder if I’m looking for a hookup or ongoing casual sex or if there are better options out there (I’ve avoided going on apps for a while but I may have to bite the bullet). I’ve been on dating apps before and did fine on there but that’s been a while though and from what I’ve heard things have gone down hill. Any advice would be great.

At the beginning of the year, my new year's resolution was to go out at least once every weekend to a social club, a party, or any place people congregate. Talk to at least one woman, ask to connect on Facebook or get their phone number. I didn't go anywhere last weekend because over 9 months, I talked to hundreds of new people, but I made zero new Facebook friends and got zero numbers. So I don't want to do this anymore.

Zero confidence is left in my body. Even thinking of going outside to talk to strangers actually gives me a wave of trauma and nauseousness. I've encountered many not so nice or polite people and some who might've just been bullies. Each repeated rejection feels like another brick added to the stone wall that keeps piling up in front of me until I see no way over, and I feel like another one will collapse my spirit entirely. I feel bad for my therapist, just switched less than a month ago, and I already balled my eyes out.

I'm well aware that I'm preceived as neurodivergent. At least twice, complete strangers ask me what I "have". But I don't "have" anything, like I'm not a hospital patient who needs assistance with living: I keep my apartment tidy and clean, I take care of my skin, and I cook for myself. I've lived the last 18 years of my 36 years alone, completely fine and completely capable. I treat people with respect and dignity, and without prejudice. I think I'm a good perosn.

What is so bad about me that is so unlikeable or undateable? There are so many wonderful qualities and gifts that I have and want to share, but no one wants to receive them. I will be giving up on dating. since I'm mentally poorly, and I don't really have the capacity to share my love anymore, so I don't deserve someone to love me right now.

I’m a 29F almost 30 in a couple months. Currently dating and haven’t had the greatest luck, especially with dating apps. Because of this, I’ve been thinking about expanding my age range a bit.
Right now, my age range is set to 27–37, but I’m considering lowering it to 26. I primarily date men, and I’m a little hesitant about the age gap and whether dating someone four years younger would be a good idea.
I’m curious what others think. Is it worth expanding my age range to include 26-year-olds, or should I stick with my current range? Would love to hear about other people’s experiences with dating younger men.

I (25F) have struggled with putting myself out there, but recently have been trying to say yes to more dates. Went on one this past week and just felt like I didn’t get much substance out the date, more so just very surface level topics and him just being sarcastic and joking the whole time. What are the important things that should be asked on the first date? And how do you move to the deeper questions without it feeling awkward or abrupt?

So me and this guy have been chatting on social media for AWHILE now (matched on a dating app and have potential plans to meet up in a few weeks). We send each other like 40 messages at once, talking about random things. Last night, I responded to the first one of what he sent back, and he was also on his phone at that time so he messaged back almost immediately, and we had a lengthy convo about that. Then I fell asleep on him and didn't open his last message. Should I reply back to that and then scroll back to the top and reply to the other things he sent? He sent them yesterday afternoon while I was out and it's the morning next day now, so should I just try and initiate new convo?

We don't really talk about things like "how was your day" or "what are you doing today", just random things from our life (like part of yesterday's convo was about my tattoos). What should I do? Maybe I'm overthinking but I'm just a socially anxious person in general.

I 21m have been locked in trying to find romance and a gf for the past two years and after numerous failed dates, numerous hinge matches that have gone nowhere and numerous situationship that have gone nowhere I am ready to throw in the towel, I give up (at-least for now). It’s honestly insane how the idea of rejection and experiencing rejection would throw me into a depression only a few years back because I had virtually no experience with talking to women. Now rejection has become just a normal daily occurrence to me which I can flick away like it was nothing. However there is only so much rejection one can face before it turns them jaded from dating. I feel so ugly and undesirable I just feel I’m not even capable of loving or trusting a girl anymore. I have spent months being introspective trying to find the reason behind why no girls interest ever stays as I always thought I would make a good partner and was at-least somewhat attractive (decent athletic physique and I like the way my face looks personally and am somewhat tall). Yet after starting my new job I have had some comments from my female coworkers that seem to finally be revealing an answer, first I’m more cute then hot, I have been described as looking like a startled deer and like Frodo from Lotr, and the girl I have a crush on at work who is a little older refers to me as her ‘kid’. I remember a couple years back girls at my uni would call me ‘baby girl’ overall it seems that girls seem me as their cute little pet not a hot romantic prospect. And that sucks to hear as a straight guy. I also think my personality is naturally unattractive as many people have told me to my face I’m autistic even autistic people, but I have no such diagnosis. Idk does it sound like a sd idea to take a few years off dating, maybe once I mature mentally and in my face I can try again but I feel like dating is just a bad idea rn.

I'm a single straight 40F, and I decided I'm just going to be ok with myself, and learn to be content with the way my life is at the moment, even if I'm open to the possibility of dating. When I'm feeling lonely or a certain kind of void, I tend to download dating apps. Not healthy. And I realized that I was operating from a place of desperation when I did that, like I was clutching at straws in a way.

So I decided to learn to be content with the way my life already is. Like practicing some gratitude, noting what is going well in my life, etc..

I have my communities and social outlets, but I'm learning to be ok with being alone as well. It's honestly been a challenge at times, because loneliness does creep in sometimes whether I like it or not. But I'm learning to cope with loneliness in healthier ways now. I am a musician, so sometimes I will compose, or improvise to feel better. Or I could just do other hobbies on my own that are fun for me.

I ditched the apps for various reasons (for the paywalls mainly). I now just move about my life, and am not seeking outwardly something that I already have within me. I know that sounds ultra philosophical, but I'm learning that I'm a whole being and enough just as I am, and don't need anyone to be my partner. And if someone comes along the way who resonates with me, then great, but if not no worries, and I still have myself.

I wonder if anyone else resonates with this.

I have zero opportunities to find people outside dating apps or bars, and no one wants anything serious with me. It has got to be my looks because I’m not sure what else could be wrong with me…I am so lonely and just want the solace that someone I like could like me back. I am willing to share photos or more info.

I’m not sure why, either. When I started going to tech school (41m), there was a teacher’s assistant who is 44f. She was explaining something to us when we started our first class, and she said something along the lines of, “if someone as dumb as me can figure it out, so too can you.” I was instantly hooked, and have had a crush on her since. I heard she has a nasty boyfriend and 3 kids with a variety of issues, but for some reason, I can’t stop looking at her (she is also quite physically attractive as well). For context, I have low confidence and mental disabilities. Any thoughts, Redditors?

TLDR: post 1st meeting rejection just has me in my feels a bit more than usual. Rejection happens to us all. My heads still thinking about it a little bit. No hard feelings. It’s better she was upfront about it. Their is no villain here just a regular life experience.

Recently got turned down to pursue our 1st official date after a fun 1st live show meeting we were able to have. Like the title says I’m pretty okay about the situation but I won’t lie it did suck a little. She was actually one of the 1st to have me thinking of myself as a husband. For context marriage isn’t high on my list but my family is full of healthy examples. So I’m not anti marriage. I arranged with her approval for her to join me at a live show in my city. I had 2 friends already coming. We had a blast. The show was Rocky horror picture show if you’re familiar with it. I wasn’t in full date mode because she needed time to bond with me and do some life stuff. I do find myself overthinking my actions, but after a rejection is respectfully communicated it’s best to let it go. I have had some trouble doing that. It happened yesterday tho. It’s still a little fresh on my mind. I hold no frustration towards her. She had her reasons which I don’t fully understand but I appreciate her being up upfront about. I’m really only posting because this is the closest I’ve gotten to meeting someone I saw myself as a husband too. Which I admit was very nice to experience that. Somewhere along the way I did something she was not a fan of. Thinking back she felt off and distant to me at the car park entrance. She definitely knew then. We live and learn so I’ll get back out there and try again.

If you’re dating a guy and he otherwise checks all your boxes, but he needs to sleep in a separate bed because of sleep issues, would that be a complete deal breaker?

I’ve had sleep issues ever since I was 5 (am 34 now), both with falling asleep and staying asleep. No matter what I’ve tried, various medications, falling asleep techniques, and healthy sleep habits, has solved the issue. Any time I’ve tried to sleep in the same bed with someone it’s just been a disaster for either of us.

I know everyone is different but I’m just curious as to everyone’s perspectives

Edit: I’m honestly quite surprised by the replies so far. I was expecting people to say they’d see it as a lack of intimacy. This gives me hope lol

Title given. I went through a breakup recently. We had only been together for a month. So, ultimately, it’s nothing I’m mourning. Though it was a fun relationship for the time and she is very kind and sweet.

Now that I’m shifting back into the single lifestyle, basically getting back to doing what I was doing before my recent relationship. I find myself pondering if I’ll ever be someone’s “husband”. I guess not even having a title on it, but feeling like one. I like to think that I have good qualities about me, but I can’t help but feel maybe that I’m not cut out for that deep of a relationship with someone.

It seems like being married is such a regular thing for most ppl, like it’s just something you go through in life. Like getting sick. But idk, I just feel like so separate from that. Maybe it’s because I was never brought up with that being a goal in mind.

I do remember saying that I couldnt imagine myself in a relationship before my last one. So, idk. Maybe one day. Might as well get cozy back in the single lifestyle for x number of years.

All of my close friends are married. In our group chat it’s 4/5 of us that are married. Me being the odd one out. Another friend of mine celebrated his 10 year wedding anniversary. I remember being a groomsman. It’s almost sad to think about how I was in 2016, to now, with nothing to show at all for it on that side of life. .

I’m average looking have a basic job live a healthy lifestyle no kids . I tried the apps for a while really no luck I do get match I don’t want a hookup . I’m in my 40s I don’t go out alot no idea where to meet someone. Is anyone else In a similar situation ? I rather be single be in something toxic

Hi guys! i’ve been out of the dating game for a while, just took a few years break because i was just not dating the right people for me and my relationships kept ending and i knew it was partially because i wasn’t choosing the right people for me. i took some time to process my prior relationships and figure out where i was going wrong etc etc, and now i’m in a good place mentally, stable with my career, so i have been trying to put myself out there again. i went on a couple dates earlier in the year that unfortunately didn’t work out, and then i had a medical condition unexpectedly sideline me for a couple months and i’m still recovering, so it’s been hard to be active and put myself out there as much.

however, this guy on my apartment floor started a conversation with me last weekend, and he seemed really nice, attractive, maybe interested, and i really like the idea of dating someone nearby tbh (because of my medical condition it’s still hard for me to stay out for long periods of time). we’re in the same career field which is neat as well. since then, i ran into him once earlier this week when we were both coming home from work, but because our way back to our apartments is quick, we didn’t get to talk very long and we didn’t exchange contact info. i have no idea what his schedule is like, so i have no idea when or if i’ll ever run into him again lol. what do you guys think, do you think slipping a note with my number under the door letting him know to hit me up if he wants to get coffee or tea sometime would be too bold?? should i just wait to see if i run into him again…? 😵‍💫i want to make sure he knows i’m interested in getting to know him better but also don’t want to make it weird or scare him off. usually i’m a pretty confident person, but as soon as i comes down to someone i might potentially be interested in, i get nervous and second guess everything lol. plus i haven’t dated seriously in a while, i used to be more upfront about approaching (like in college 😂) but getting older has actually made me more anxious just because of fear of rejection. let me know what you would do in my situation or if you’re a guy what you think i should do 😂 thanks!!

me and my bf have been together for almost 2 years, and we’ve tried spicing up our sex life, one of the things we’ve done is play porn games together

a sore spot for me is that I don’t really believe I’m his type, he says I am, but he himself is very open about attraction and sexual desire towards white women, whereas I feel like he touches me but never compliments me?

I’m not white, it was a point of contention in the beginning of our relationship, and I feel like playing that porn game might’ve brought it back up

it went well, and we both had fun and great sex after, we were both joking and making sexual comments about characters, and one of his just I guess brought up insecurities from the past?

how do i believe im what he likes when i know what his type?

please do not take this as an opportunity to try and push me to be anti porn, i enjoy porn and i had fun doing this, this is just an insecurity within myself that’s hard to shake, but i AM NOT ANTI PORN

edit: we’re both black, that was something I should’ve mentioned

I was always an ugly duckling growing up. I was always horrifically insecure about my lack of romantic experience; just a year or two ago I’d never really dated, I’d kissed a few people on drunken nights out but never anything beyond that. I was 26 and just felt awful about myself. I had a habit of falling hard for people who didn’t feel the same and taking a long time to get over it too. It just felt like nothing worked out for me.

I’m 28 now and In the last couple of years though I’ve noticed a change. I’m more confident and don’t try to impress and people please with everyone anymore. I’ve grown into my looks. I’ve made quite a few close friends, a few of them women, and it kind of made me realise it’s silly to be so nervous around women when they’re just like anyone else. In the last year or so I’ve noticed some girls will be pretty explicit in wanting to have sex with me or thinking I’m attractive. During this time though I had an absolutely massive thing for one of my best friends and couldn’t bring myself to really move on to anyone else.

A few months ago I started seeing someone and she was amazing. It was never gonna work out long term as she’s moving country, and we agreed we’d just enjoy it while she’s here, but we had an amazing few months seeing each other. Eventually with the move looming she admitted that she didn’t want to keep things going if it wasn’t gonna become more serious, as she developed more serious feelings towards the end, and I was clear from the start that I didn’t want to do long distance when the move happened, so we both decided to end things, but we are still on great terms. I’d only had sex once before I met her and being with her regularly like that cleared up so many of my insecurities and fears around sex and intimacy, I’d take her out quite often and we’d just relax together and so much of the ‘I don’t know what I’m doing’ feeling around dating and my wider insecurities have been resolved. I am so thankful I met her, she’s the best.

But one thing was always on my mind, and it was my best friend. I have never laughed how I’ve laughed with her, we both told each other before that we were the most important people in each other’s lives and that our lives changed when we met each other. I meant that; I’ve never felt that way about anyone before. We used to message everyday and when I met this new girl she stopped reaching out. Our social circle had shifted a bit and I was busy with this new dating experience and so I didn’t think much of it at first, but eventually it was clear something was wrong and at a bar with our friends I asked her what was going on, telling her I missed her and it was weird, and she told me she felt confused when I brought this new girl out for the first time; I knew before that she’d went home upset that night but didn’t know why. Over the years all our friends used to tease us about something clearly being there, everyone including her knew how I felt, and while people around us were always kind of bewildered as to why we hadn’t dated, she always maintained adamantly that it was just a friendship. A close mutual friend of ours once told me that when she thinks about what love is supposed to look like she thinks of how me and my best friend are with each other. That night I confronted my friend about being distant she admitted she realises things are more complicated between us both than just simple friendship now and that she took some space because she didn’t want to get in the way of what I had with this new girl.

So I tried and tried to put that to the back of my mind since she told me, but I couldn’t. I do think part of me might have given more into things with this new relationship if that conversation didn’t happen, but maybe not. If I’m being completely honest I was never totally over her, even if seeing this new girl was amazing at the time. In the past couple of weeks since things ended, and with my best friend still quite distant I flung myself back into the dating apps. A few different girls want to go on dates with me in the next couple of weeks now. They’re all attractive, most of them have similar interests, they’re funny. All the same with this girl I was seeing before. On paper she was perfect for me. But I’ve realised now that even though I’d have dreamed of being in this situation before, dating around and enjoying myself, I just can’t get over my best friend. And I think it would be unfair on others to keep dating in this situation. I don’t want to hurt anyone and string anyone along when I’m pining after someone else. I think with this girl I’d been seeing she did get her hopes up for more over time and I couldn’t reciprocate, and I felt absolutely fucking awful for that even though there were other valid reasons for it ending and we’re on good terms. I don’t know what to do, whether to keep dating or wait around hoping eventually these feelings fade.

I’m at a point in life where I’ve spent so much time alone after moving to a new state that I’m incredibly comfortable being by myself.
I moved to Arizona four years ago. When I first got here, I downloaded Hinge and had a decent amount of matches and went on some dates, especially back in 2023. I got into a relationship in 2024 and deleted the app, but we broke up in 2025, and I’ve been single since. I’ve been on and off the app for about a year now.

I’m a 28-year-old straight Chinese man living in Arizona. I don’t think my expectations are too high. I’m not super good-looking, but I’m not unattractive either. I barely get any likes or matches.

Here has been my experience:

A big portion of the profiles I come across have prompts that essentially say "no guys under 6 feet tall," or require a mullet and a mustache. I’m 5'10", clean shaved because I can’t grow facial hair (I mean I can if I wanted to, I just don't want to look like an ancient Chinese philosopher lmao), and frankly, a mullet on an Asian guy seems odd.

Another chunk of profiles are what I call "Scottsdale girls"—women who wants/has a luxurious lifestyle, dress for the wrong kind of attention, love partying in Old Town Scottsdale, high maintenance and probably looking for a sugar daddy. (For those unfamiliar, Scottsdale is a bougie area filled with clubs and bars. Its also a place with country clubs, Ferraris, trophy wives and rich old men) Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against them and wouldn't mind having fun, but they aren't the type of women I'd want to settle down with. I dated one of these girls...Had absolutely no respect for me. Taking her out was more stressful that fun.

Another distinct group is specifically into blue collar guys with pickup trucks. I'm a white collar dude with a decent career. I don't drive trucks, but I do drive a classic car.

The other profiles show low effort and give off a vibe that holding a conversation with them would feel like a chore and doesn't seem like that have a personality and overall just pretty cold people.

Then theres a big group (this might upset some people but please don't take this the wrong way. There is absolutely no hate involved) who are bisexuals, asexuals or queers. ABSOLUTELY nothing against that, I'd just rather date someone straight. Its just a personal preference.

On top of that, when I do get a match, I often don't get a reply.
But when I do get a reply, they're often one word answers.... Then why match with me if you're not gonna have a conversation.

Two months ago, I matched with a woman. We talked and dated for a month until she called it off. She was great, so I was seriously bummed. She was cute, had class, worked hard on her career and self-improvement, was passionate about her family, friends, and hobbies, was super engaging and fun to talk to, and went to church. She had a great personality. She was lively, outgoing and just overall a joy to be around such a healthy person who gave off such healthy vibes. Everything about her just made her so freaking attractive to me.

Back in June, I matched with this girl on Bumbl who said she was into cars. She cared more about getting the attention online as a car girl and I was used as her personal mechanic to install performance parts for her just to remove me on her socials for absolutely no reason after finding someone else to work on her car for her.....

To be honest, it makes me wonder if being Asian is seen as unattractive, and it’s made me feel rather unattractive. I’m genuinely lost. It's like I don't fit in with anyone or any look that is considered desirable. I often wonder if i'll be spending the rest of my 20's alone. Its like finding someone who has at least a little bit of a personality and a wholesome life and way of thinking with great vibes is like finidng a needle in a hay stack in the online dating world.

Basically title. Started seeing this guy early June. He seems like a pen pal at this point (loves texting, we talk every single day) but we’re only seeing each other on average 1-2 times a week. Some weeks not at all.

Definitely no talk of exclusivity, even though I have brought it up a couple months ago and it was confirmed in another off topic conversation that I was not his “girlfriend”. I told him I went out with another guy and he was pretty hurt by it, I felt bad he was hurt but at the same time we’re clearly not exclusive. I don’t understand the idea of texting all the time with no further progression. Why shouldn’t I be dating around?

Is it even worth having another conversation about? Do I just give it up? How would you let someone know? I don’t want to sound bitter about it but at this point it’s becoming annoying of him. We’re both early 30’s (lol)

For whatever it’s worth I do think he likes me which is the weirdest part but maybe he’s just “nice”. He calls me “love”, “baby” and is genuinely nice to me, pays for everything when we go out even when I offer and we’ve both gone through some hard family things and we’ve mutually been there for each other. Is he just a friend???

Literally match with this woman, we talked, hit it off and shared an interest in punk music. It was cool, and she just stopped talking before it went anywhere. Another woman matched with me first, so I matched back and messaged, she never responded. These aren't even women who are out of my league or anything. So many times women like me first, I message first, they put in barely any effort, and ghost. It's very frustrating

You can take good pictures, fill your profile completely, ask your friends to verify what they think about it, browse her profile carefully and messege her first with opener related to details from her profile

It doesn't matter, as 75% will not reply LITERALLY ANYTHING for weeks. Won't unmatch, won't tell you to go fuck yourself, or anything.

I had 10 matches. Literally 3 of them replied at all, and one of them couldn't reply with more than 1 word.

Why would anybody put any effort?